If You're a Convert, How Did You Cope?--Adjusting, Learning, and Becoming

[Olivermax]

Then… I was left alone. I got little excitement from my husband when I would try to talk about something new (to me) that I had discovered. I’ve read voraciously. I watched EWTN a lot. My husband has actually equated my enthusiasm to how I jumped into other things (like scrapbooking) instead of seeing the importance to me (like it’s a new addiction or something.)

There are church groups for youth, young adults and seniors. (I am none of these.) They finally had a Bible study … at a time I couldn’t attend. I now attend a non-denominational Bible study… but I wish for a Catholic one. I am greatful for the one I go to because I have met some wonderful women, some of whom may also be Catholic… but it is not discussed.

The Church needs people like you to be pro-active. People in the Catholic Church step back and wait for others to act. Well, why not you? Why not start a Legion of Mary group, or a prayer group? Put a notice in the bulletin. I promise you that there are people just like you waiting for someone to do this.

An absolutely amazing,incredible book to read is “The Dolorous Passion” by Anne Emmerich. She was a stigmatic nun who was blessed with visions of our Lord’s life and Passion. This is an excellent Lenten meditation book, and a book that every person on Earth should read.

 

[Elizabeth_C]

An absolutely amazing,incredible book to read is “The Dolorous Passion” by Anne Emmerich. She was a stigmatic nun who was blessed with visions of our Lord’s life and Passion. This is an excellent Lenten meditation book, and a book that every person on Earth should read.

Olivermax… I haven’t read it, but I have heard of it.
Part of your quote of me might have been part of your response: starting a Legion of Mary etc. My church does have a Legion of Mary. I’m a member, but not an active one. My schedule is so crazy that I can’t make the commitment to a meeting time and the hours of service. I want to have something that I can attend, but miss if I have to. I keep trying and I will persevere. In the meantime… I read voraciously!

 

[inthecloud]

What about secular orders? How common are they?

 

[Pixie_Dust]

Tell me about yours!

A little over a year ago, I had the most startling revelation. We’d been church hopping for about 3 years and really having trouble finding a place that “fit” us. I cried out to God, “Where do YOU want us!?” and I ***heard ***God say to me, “Go to Rome.” I won’t bore you with the whole story here but you can visit my blog. In the October and November 2006 archives are three posts called “Finding My Faith.”

I read Currie’s book (the title of which I ‘lifted’ for my siggy) and found myself nodding and agreeing with just about everything he said. It was almost like reading my own story except I didn’t grow up in church.

Do any of you who were raised with anti-Catholic prejudices ever experience times where you realize–I’m Catholic?!

Every day!

Do you ever have to root out strange leftovers of those prejudices from your own mind–even now?

Not so much anymore.

 

[homewardbound]

A little over a year ago, I had the most startling revelation. We’d been church hopping for about 3 years and really having trouble finding a place that “fit” us. I cried out to God, “Where do YOU want us!?” and I ***heard ***God say to me, “Go to Rome.” l:

I love it when God reaches out to us so clearly!

During the first 6 months of studying Catholicism I was praying for God to show me His Truth everyday. I was so torn between believing Catholicism and not wanting to since I was raised to believe Catholics were a cult. I remember one long prayer session begging God to please help me follow Him and go where He wanted me to be. The next day my boyfriend’s mom had bought a book and she thought I should be the first to read it: “Rome Sweet Home”

 

[Elizabeth_C]

I love it when God reaches out to us so clearly!

During the first 6 months of studying Catholicism I was praying for God to show me His Truth everyday. I was so torn between believing Catholicism and not wanting to since I was raised to believe Catholics were a cult. I remember one long prayer session begging God to please help me follow Him and go where He wanted me to be. The next day my boyfriend’s mom had bought a book and she thought I should be the first to read it: “Rome Sweet Home”

I love hearing about stories like yours and PixieDust’s! I came to God in an indirect manner… and definitely no praying! I still have difficulty praying. I read Rome Sweet Home after I converted. I love all of Scott Hahn’s books. But the story told by he and his wife is great! I happened to have shared a sponsor with a converting protestant, so I got to see that side of it during RCIA.
I’ve watched “The Journey Home” on EWTN and find the stories fascinating!

I was skimming other responses and wanted to add a comment (from a patient’s mother) I had when I mentioned I had recently joined the Catholic church:She said “Intentionally???”

Fortunately I also found out many people around me (co-workers) are Catholic. I let this comment slide due to where I was and who she was. I can’t argue with my clients. I have, however, tried to teach the Catholic faith when an opening presents itself.

 

[Klydewannab]

I am a cradle catholic–parochial school and the whole bit. I’m also a child of VII, which pretty much meant bad catechesis. I never completely left, but I did wander and wonder. Then I got into apologetics.

I sympathize with all of you who keep buying books, since I am just the same! I also love getting CDs to listen to in the car. Our parish has the Faith Raisers display from St. Joseph communication and I love those little $3.00 CDs. My church also has a library, and you can find lots of great titles that way. You should ask your priest if he has any good books (maybe trade a few), and if there is a monastery or religious community nearby, they may have a library and they may be willing to loan books to you.

Even the public library may have some of the books you’re interested in and you can request that they purchase them.

Scott Hahn has a bible study online at salvationhistory.com.

Just thought I’d throw out a few tips for getting books, catechesis, and bible studies a bit cheaper or even free.

 

[brigid12]

When I learned what the bishops of the Episcopal church had used for their basis for decisions (2000 General Convention) I knew I had to go. I was pro-life, so that was a vote for the Catholic Church. I was very sacramental (anglo-catholic) so I knew it would need to be either the Orthodox or Catholic. A DL at the Orthodox church was sooooo eastern, and I’m of anglo-saxon/celt/norse ancestry so I felt “out” of it. I was reading everything I could get my hands on (“Rome Sweet Home”, CCC, Matt 16:18 which I’d never even paid attention to, Early Church Fathers, et al) and listening frequently to CA radio broadcast. They had the ex-Anglican Bishop of London on talking about his own conversion. He had been an anglo-catholic like me, and he said that he realized that the only thing keeping him from the Catholic Church was his own pride in not wanting to be obedient to the Pope, since all his other beliefs were in line with the Catholic Church (he said the Catholic form of the Rosary, read Papal documents as he thought the Pope holy, believed in Real Presence, etc - all my beliefs/practices also). I realized, much to my personal embarrassment, that that pride was true for me also. So I went to the priest and entered the RCIA.
The most difficult thing for me was 1) lack of fellowship as I’d been used to and 2) less reverence in mass and more awareness of the sacred in the Episcopal churches often (we had altar rails, kneeled-by choice-at the Consecration, had beautiful, sacred singing, beautiful churches, etc). My family, staunch protestant Episcopalians who would have made Cromwell proud, hated my “papist” ways and my husband decided he did not want any part of the Catholic Church, including me. My (ex)husband is long gone and my family seem to be resigning themselves (and respecting me more?). I wouldn’t change my change for anything, but I don’t see any reason we can have the positive things in the Episcopal church (I’ve listed them). After all, they’re what Episcopalians/Anglicans brought with them when they split from the Catholic Church anyway!

 

[gibbsMed]

keep buying books…
getting CDs to listen to in the car…
ask your priest if he has any good books (maybe trade a few)…
Scott Hahn has a bible study online at salvationhistory.com.

Just thought I’d throw out a few tips for getting books, catechesis, and bible studies a bit cheaper or even free.

Good morning, kindred spirit!

Just thought I’d add a few - since you’ve already mentioned my own top choices…

EWTN.com has a wonderful Audio Library (all in RealAudio format), with probably every show they’ve ever had on air. I REALLY enjoy and learn a lot from downloading and listening to an entire series while doing my daily driving.

Catholic.com has RealAudio AND mp3 from archived Catholic Answers Live shows. click here.

Peace!

 

[RebeccaJ]

For me the loneliness is not felt at mass. At first, yes, but that was mainly because I didn’t have a clue what was going on and why.

This has been a lonely experience. I go and sit in a church sometimes just to feel not so alone. And usually the church has no one there except me.

In some ways that loneliness causes me to reflect more, pray more, seek out God more and I embrace it for that purpose. In other ways, it is quite isolating and well, lonely.

 

[LeahInancsi]

For me the loneliness is not felt at mass. At first, yes, but that was mainly because I didn’t have a clue what was going on and why.

This has been a lonely experience. I go and sit in a church sometimes just to feel not so alone. And usually the church has no one there except me.

In some ways that loneliness causes me to reflect more, pray more, seek out God more and I embrace it for that purpose. In other ways, it is quite isolating and well, lonely.

Rebecca,

What is your background in the Catholic church? If you are a confirmed Catholic you should know what is going on during mass. You should have learned this in CCD classes as a child or in RCIA as an adult. If for some reason, this part of your education was missed or you’ve forgotten, you need to talk to your priest or Director of Religious Education immediately.

A couple good books that will help you in the meantime, are Mass Confusion and The How-To Book of the Mass.

 

[TeresaElizabeth]

I love it when God reaches out to us so clearly!

During the first 6 months of studying Catholicism I was praying for God to show me His Truth everyday. I was so torn between believing Catholicism and not wanting to since I was raised to believe Catholics were a cult. I remember one long prayer session begging God to please help me follow Him and go where He wanted me to be. The next day my boyfriend’s mom had bought a book and she thought I should be the first to read it: “Rome Sweet Home”

I totally connect with what you are saying. My brain said, “The Church is right” while my old habits from false teaching said “The Church is wrong.” I would go to Mass and just yearn for the Blessed Sacrament but then feel like every person in the pews around me was some confused person that had bought into a lie. How awful!

When I found Rome Sweet Home at the recommendation of a sweet Catholic co-worker, my journey took a turn for the better, and I hope, by the grace of Our Lord, to be received into His Holy Church at Easter Vigil!

Thanks for sharing.

 

[RebeccaJ]

Rebecca,

What is your background in the Catholic church? If you are a confirmed Catholic you should know what is going on during mass. You should have learned this in CCD classes as a child or in RCIA as an adult. If for some reason, this part of your education was missed or you’ve forgotten, you need to talk to your priest or Director of Religious Education immediately.

A couple good books that will help you in the meantime, are Mass Confusion and The How-To Book of the Mass.

Not a Catholic background. I was raised a mormon but left religion behind entirely many years ago and considered myself an atheist. About 15 months ago I started attending mass, on my own, just showed up, and have been going every Sunday since.

I had a very specific goal in mind: find God. I spent that year reading and reading and reading. Starting all over, as the religious terms I learned as a child/teen have a totally different meaning in Catholicism. So I just went with the idea that I didn’t know a damned thing. Which, I didn’t.

I am in RCIA and yes, we have covered mass and I understand what is going on now. But when I started going on my own, I had no clue. May has well have plopped me onto a different planet, that is how foreign it was to me. And, at that time I had that feeling that just by being there I was really screwing it up for other people. I don’t feel that way any longer.

Still, Catholicism is a complicated religion. There are so many things that I have never even heard of and a language that I don’t know. And I am not talking about the Latin part of it.

I have a great sponsor who helps me out. And a good RCIA team that answers every question I have had. Just, there is so much to know, and not just in the intellectual sense, but also spiritual. It is kind of throwing me for a loop, in a lot of ways. God is overwhelming at times.

Mainly my loneliness comes from doing this on my own. My husband is atheist, we raised our daughter as an atheist, and they just sort of think I am off my rocker but of the opinion that I’ll get this idea of religion out of my system and be back to “myself”.

I actually found these forums because I didn’t understand how people live a life that includes God. Day to day, week to week, hour by hour. No idea whatsoever. My entire adult life I was an atheist. I still don’t know how this new life fits into the mold of my old life. It isn’t like anything I have ever experienced and one of the hardest things I have ever done. And there aren’t so many people around that have the same sort of experience. It isn’t like atheists are line up at the baptismal font.

 

[ChadS]

I actually found these forums because I didn’t understand how people live a life that includes God. Day to day, week to week, hour by hour. No idea whatsoever. My entire adult life I was an atheist. I still don’t know how this new life fits into the mold of my old life. It isn’t like anything I have ever experienced and one of the hardest things I have ever done. And there aren’t so many people around that have the same sort of experience. It isn’t like atheists are line up at the baptismal font.

Rebecca,

I think you may be in good company here because people who have gone to church or believed in God their entire lives struggle with how to live with him. We all have parts of our lives we’d rather keep silent or not give over to him. We all have ways that at times we use to keep God at arms length.

I can’t give you an easy or pat answer of how to make God a part of your everyday life. I think as you grow and mature as a Christian some of that will start to come naturally. But one thing that will definitely help is prayer. I think in your case maybe if you offered prayers for the parts of the day that seem so ordinary or the ones where you have a hard time seeing God – perhaps that will help you start to see him more in your own life. When you wake up in the morning ask God to bless your day and to help you do things that are pleasing to him. Or perhaps when you start to feel a bit of doubt say a quick Hail Mary or Glory Be or an Our Father. Each one of those prayers takes a few seconds to say but their benefit far outweighs the time it takes to say it.

I hope this helps and I’ll remember you in my prayers.

ChadS

 

[brigid12]

I actually found these forums because I didn’t understand how people live a life that includes God. Day to day, week to week, hour by hour. No idea whatsoever. My entire adult life I was an atheist. I still don’t know how this new life fits into the mold of my old life. It isn’t like anything I have ever experienced and one of the hardest things I have ever done. And there aren’t so many people around that have the same sort of experience. It isn’t like atheists are line up at the baptismal font.

Rebecca,

Hi! Welcome home!!! If, while you are driving for instance, you can get in one decade of the Rosary then Our Blessed Mother will take care of you gradually making sure that her Son becomes more and more part of your day. As the previous poster said, even a quick Hail Mary, Glory Be or crossing yourself when you pass a Catholic church or when you see a car accident, will start the process more and more of it becoming part of your life. You can find out what any of these entail, if they haven’t already said, with your RCIA team or in many Catholic books or even in the Sunday Missalette. Also, we’d be more than happy here to answer any questions you have.

 

[RebeccaJ]

Rebecca,

I think you may be in good company here because people who have gone to church or believed in God their entire lives struggle with how to live with him. We all have parts of our lives we’d rather keep silent or not give over to him. We all have ways that at times we use to keep God at arms length.

I can’t give you an easy or pat answer of how to make God a part of your everyday life. I think as you grow and mature as a Christian some of that will start to come naturally. But one thing that will definitely help is prayer. I think in your case maybe if you offered prayers for the parts of the day that seem so ordinary or the ones where you have a hard time seeing God – perhaps that will help you start to see him more in your own life. When you wake up in the morning ask God to bless your day and to help you do things that are pleasing to him. Or perhaps when you start to feel a bit of doubt say a quick Hail Mary or Glory Be or an Our Father. Each one of those prayers takes a few seconds to say but their benefit far outweighs the time it takes to say it.

I hope this helps and I’ll remember you in my prayers.

ChadS

Thanks Chads. I read your response the other day, and have been thinking and reading and asking more questions of the RCIA people. And my sponsor, who helps me out a lot. We are both haunted by mormonism, in the sense of what other converts are saying here. You have what your previous religion taught you, and it exerts itself at the most unexpected times, and it takes some time and many different “Catholic” experiences to unlearn what you have learned (to quote Yoda).

But, I think I figured out something in the past couple of days. I have my atheism haunting me as well as mormonism. I started this search as a way to find God. Viewing it as how I viewed my atheism. Me, taking care of myself. But in thinking and conversations and amazingly (to me) this Spirit of conversion, I all of the sudden understood that Someone else is taking care of me.

Probably obvious to most Christians, but it wasn’t to me. It is actually a profound thing to learn.

So, thanks for the prayers. I need them.

 

[RebeccaJ]

Rebecca,

Hi! Welcome home!!! If, while you are driving for instance, you can get in one decade of the Rosary then Our Blessed Mother will take care of you gradually making sure that her Son becomes more and more part of your day. As the previous poster said, even a quick Hail Mary, Glory Be or crossing yourself when you pass a Catholic church or when you see a car accident, will start the process more and more of it becoming part of your life. You can find out what any of these entail, if they haven’t already said, with your RCIA team or in many Catholic books or even in the Sunday Missalette. Also, we’d be more than happy here to answer any questions you have.

Hi Brigid. Thanks for the ideas and the offer to answer questions.

I made a one decade rosary that I carry around in my pocket sometimes. It has been laundered a few times. It is a very clean rosary.

I don’t know the rosary well enough to say it without the little book that my sponsor gave me. My commute to work is intense, over a mountain pass and up and down a curvy canyon road at 65MPH with insane drivers. Mainly I am praying just to make it there and back.

But, there is this little church just a couple of minutes away from my work. I go there sometimes on my lunch break. Sometimes I pray, sometimes I just sit there and think. Before the weather got cold and snowy I would do the same, in the great outdoors of the Utah high country, what I like to call God’s Cathedral.

 

[brigid12]

Hi Brigid. Thanks for the ideas and the offer to answer questions.

I made a one decade rosary that I carry around in my pocket sometimes. It has been laundered a few times. It is a very clean rosary.

I don’t know the rosary well enough to say it without the little book that my sponsor gave me. My commute to work is intense, over a mountain pass and up and down a curvy canyon road at 65MPH with insane drivers. Mainly I am praying just to make it there and back.

But, there is this little church just a couple of minutes away from my work. I go there sometimes on my lunch break. Sometimes I pray, sometimes I just sit there and think. Before the weather got cold and snowy I would do the same, in the great outdoors of the Utah high country, what I like to call God’s Cathedral.

That little church sounds perfect and in such beautiful surroundings! It won’t take long for you to learn a Hail Mary! The rest will come (and you’ll find your mouth saying the words without even thinking of them). I started saying the Rosary a few years before converting, however I know when I first started I wouldn’t/couldn’t say the words without my Rosary booklet . At first, just say a Hail Mary in that church (sounds wonderful!) with your booklet and maybe cross yourself when the news tells of a tragedy. Everything else will come on its own (actually, with Our Blessed Mother’s help ).

Again. Welcome!!

 

[RebeccaJ]

That little church sounds perfect and in such beautiful surroundings! It won’t take long for you to learn a Hail Mary! The rest will come (and you’ll find your mouth saying the words without even thinking of them). I started saying the Rosary a few years before converting, however I know when I first started I wouldn’t/couldn’t say the words without my Rosary booklet . At first, just say a Hail Mary in that church (sounds wonderful!) with your booklet and maybe cross yourself when the news tells of a tragedy. Everything else will come on its own (actually, with Our Blessed Mother’s help ).

Again. Welcome!!

Thanks again.

It is a beautiful setting.

away.com/images/features/park-city/park-city-1.jpg

 

[All_Saints]

Do any of you who were raised with anti-Catholic prejudices ever experience times where you realize–I’m Catholic?!

Do you ever have to root out strange leftovers of those prejudices from your own mind–even now?

Yes, definitely. Every day i remind myself that i’m more connected to the Catholic Church. I live in Norethern Ireland, i doesn’t get much worse than that. I was raised around so much hate towards the Church and i still have some things about the Church i’m not to fond of.

I’ve been fully catechised but not recieved as of yet but i’m going to do it soon. I’ve held it off too long.