Illumination of Conscience

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Serap

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I have had a big hit of “Illumination of Conscience” in the last few weeks. God has allowed me to see myself through His eyes.

I used to think so highly of myself. I used to think that I was living a good life of virtue. I was using contraception; I was spreading occassional gossip; I was full of pride; arrogance.

In the last few weeks, I have realized how important humility really is. I have realized that I have sinned in so many ways…ways that I didn’t think I was sinning. I have displeased God often and I’m only just beginning to understand the gravity of it all.

I went to my first Confession in 12 years in August of last year and since then, I have been to Confession monthly. Each month, my conscience has been opened a little bit more; I have begun to understand my sins better.

I am reading Introduction to the Devout Life by St. Francis of Sales and it has really helped me understand that conversion is a step by step process. I was beginning to become overwhelmed by how many things I need to correct in my life, but reading this book has really helped me take it easier on myself and not become so discouraged.

I also read recently that even St. Paul went away alone into the desert for 3 years after his conversion.

Striving for a holy life is just so overwhelming sometimes!
 
Serap said:
I have had a big hit of “Illumination of Conscience” in the last few weeks. God has allowed me to see myself through His eyes.

I used to think so highly of myself. I used to think that I was living a good life of virtue. I was using contraception; I was spreading occassional gossip; I was full of pride; arrogance.

In the last few weeks, I have realized how important humility really is. I have realized that I have sinned in so many ways…ways that I didn’t think I was sinning. I have displeased God often and I’m only just beginning to understand the gravity of it all.

I went to my first Confession in 12 years in August of last year and since then, I have been to Confession monthly. Each month, my conscience has been opened a little bit more; I have begun to understand my sins better.

I am reading Introduction to the Devout Life by St. Francis of Sales and it has really helped me understand that conversion is a step by step process. I was beginning to become overwhelmed by how many things I need to correct in my life, but reading this book has really helped me take it easier on myself and not become so discouraged.
**
I also read recently that even St. Paul went away alone into the desert for 3 years after his conversion. **

Striving for a holy life is just so overwhelming sometimes!
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That’s news to me. Where did you read that?
 
Hi, thx for sharing that. We all need to hear such positive and uplifting stories at times. God is really blessing you. God loves you warts and all. He never stops loving us even when we fail. He loved us while we were still in our sins and died for us. This is the love of God. God has blessed you greatly. Thank you for such an uplifting story. Be sure to show your gratitude in good and bad times. God loves us and all he wants is our love in return. He just wants our love. Which you clearly have for him. God bless you.🙂
 
Introduction to the devout life is the best masterpiece one can read and pray as one starts ones journey with God. I read it long ago and it’s a wonderful work by the great doctor. God bless.🙂
 
S e r a p. ❤️
i think that’s absolutely amazing, that God has reached out to you in such a personal way, to reveal to you the depth of sin and how important it is to change your life so that it becomes glorifying to Him. i don’t think that it’s a negative thing at all that He allowed you to see yourself through His eyes (and i’m not suggesting in any way that you implied that it was negative): in fact, i feel that it actually shows the depth of His eternal Love for you, in that He went so far to show you how deep you were in sin so that He could save you from darkness and bring you close to Himself. by allowing you to see yourself through His eyes, God gave you a new perspective on sin, on yourself and on life that i hope and pray will have positive effects throughout the rest of your life. i can only hope and pray that if God gave me this grace, i would see something positive—something pleasing to Him that gives Him glory and loves Him passionately. i am currently working on deepening my spiritual life and becoming all that God wants, needs and calls me to be, and i hope and pray that i will soon become all that He wants to see. i have no doubt that with this new strength and perspective, you will make changes in your life that will be pleasing to Him, and become someone who gives Him glory and shows Him much love. ❤️

that’s absolutely incredible, that God reached out to you and showed you the changes that you needed to make in your life. i know that i need to make my own changes so that i can grow closer to Him, but i’ve never had what you call an “illumination of conscience.” i don’t think that we can ever truly know who we are and how we are doing unless God grants us this grace of showing us who we are in His eyes—i’m so glad beyond words, Serap, that God granted you this grace and brought you out of sin and darkness into light and life. i think that it’s very important for us to examine our lives, especially at the end of each day, and see how we might have done things that were pleasing to God, and done things that were failures or sins in His eyes. unless we do this, i feel that we can get caught up in a trap of pride and imagine that we are doing well, but truly have unconfessed and unnoticed, possibly secret, sin staining our souls and lives. i hope and pray that i am not a hypocrite in saying this, and that i don’t have any sin that is displeasing to God and keeping me from growing closer to Him. even though you were caught up in sin and darkness, please know, Serap, that God granted you this grace not to condemn you, but to help you, and bring you to Himself. He loves you enough and cares for you enough to show you where you are going wrong, so that He can help you correct your life to be glorifying and closer to Him. also, please know that if you have confessed these sins with a contrite heart, that you are completely forgiven, and don’t need to worry about them anymore, or fall into despair because of them. God loves us not only before and after we sin, but while we are sinning, and even when His grace is driven from a soul through mortal sin, He keeps our guardian angel very close to us. this shows the depth of His Love for each and every one of us, and i hope and pray that you realize just how passionately He loves you, which He showed very clearly by granting you this amazing grace. 🙂

i’m so glad beyond words, Serap, that over the past few weeks, you’ve realized the importance of humility. unfortunately, i am filled with pride and self-love myself, and need to keep praying for the grace to be humble before God and before others. 😦 humility is absolutely essential for living a life that is pleasing and glorifying to God, and just as you pray for this grace, i will definitely be keeping you in my constant thoughts and prayers as well. ❤️ i’m so glad that you’ve realized the importance of pleasing God and avoiding sin, and now that you’ve realized this, i trust that you will make changes in your life that will be extremely pleasing to Him, and will help you grow closer to Him in love. sin is incredibly serious, and i’m so glad that He has loved you enough to save you from its darkness. please don’t ever doubt that He loves you, for even when we sin, His love never leaves us—and even when we abandon Him, He is forever by our side. ❤️
 
that’s absolutely incredible, that you went to your first Confession in twelve years last August. i’m so glad beyond words for you! i hope and pray that it was a great experience for you that made you want to continue receiving this beautiful Sacrament frequently. monthly Confession is a great idea—personally, once i’m old enough, i plan to attend weekly Confession, but whatever works for you is best. 🙂 i’m so glad that Confession has gradually been softening and opening your conscience, and that God has been granting you the grace of seeing and understanding your sins. the spiritual life is a struggle, and we all fall sometimes, and we all have our own personal weaknesses, crosses, failures and sins—please know that you are far from alone in this, that we are all here to support you and lift you up, not ever to judge you or tear you down, and that i will definitely be thinking of you and praying for you. ❤️ i’m also so glad that you’re not so discouraged, and that you’re realizing that conversion is a slow but important process that will take time.

yes, striving for a holy life can become overwhelming at times, but when we keep our focus away from ourselves and completely on Christ’s abundant life and love within us, we find the strength and hope to persevere. walking the path to holiness will involve much suffering, as it is the crosses we receive that truly purify and sanctify our souls, but i will definitely keep you in my prayers, that you persevere despite all difficulties you endure, and overcome sin completely to realize God’s love and life within you. becoming holy is a process that will take time, and involves extreme commitment and devotion to the spiritual life. even the Saints didn’t become holy overnight, but realized sanctification over a long process of devotion to prayer, the Sacraments, God’s Word, Eucharistic Adoration, fasting and quiet time with our Lord. i feel that these are the essentials that create a strong spiritual life, and i have found some great resources on each of them that i hope and pray will help you immensely: 🙂

please don’t become discouraged or disappointed in yourself when you don’t realize holiness right away. despite your best efforts, it is only through God’s grace, love and infinite mercy that sinners can become Saints. i have no doubt that God will purify you and sanctify you to become all that He wants, needs and calls you to be, as long as you stay close to Him and work on deepening your spiritual life. holiness is a long process that will take time, but i will definitely keep you in my thoughts and prayers, and please keep us updated as to how you are progressing. stay strong, stay safe and take care of yourself. know that you are in my constant thoughts and deepest prayers. God bless you! ❤️ 🙂 ❤️

love,
in the peace and love of Christ,
alison ❤️
 
these are the resources that i’ve found that i hope and pray will help you in at least some small way: 🙂

prayer—catholic.org/clife/prayers/
catholicdoors.com/prayers/
ewtn.com/Devotionals/prayers/index.htm
catholictradition.org/prayers1.htm
catholicity.com/links/152/
 
Great to read your inspiring post. Thank you for sharing, and May God continue to lead and enlighten you. I thank Him
 
xAlisonx said:
these are the resources that i’ve found that i hope and pray will help you in at least some small way: 🙂

prayer—catholic.org/clife/prayers/
catholicdoors.com/prayers/
ewtn.com/Devotionals/prayers/index.htm
catholictradition.org/prayers1.htm
catholicity.com/links/152/
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You have referred us to the Medjugorie website. That is NOT approved by the Church and its content is not to be discussed or disclosed in the forums (giving us the website does that).
 
God bless you Alison. Thank you. I will pray for you too; kind spirit that you are.
 
thistle said:
You have referred us to the Medjugorie website. That is NOT approved by the Church and its content is not to be discussed or disclosed in the forums (giving us the website does that).
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Alison, he’s right. The apparition at Medjugorie is not approved on CAF. I wasn’t going to say anything, but Thistle came across a bit harsh and I just wanted to tell you again how much I appreciated your post.

God bless you for your kindness.
 
Serap said:
Alison, he’s right. The apparition at Medjugorie is not approved on CAF. I wasn’t going to say anything, but Thistle came across a bit harsh and I just wanted to tell you again how much I appreciated your post.

God bless you for your kindness.
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You brought a smile to my face… yes you do have a gentle, generous heart! I think Thistle was being firm, not harsh, but I applaud your gentling posts!
It inspires me to share with you the following poem was written by an anonymous Divine Word Missionary, inspiring us to love of others, even in the smallest gestures of human kindness.

“But”
**It was only a sunny smile,
And little it cost in the giving;
But it scattered the night
Like morning light,
And made the day worth living.
Through life’s dark warp a woof it wove
In shining colours of hope and love;
And the angels smiled as they watched above,
Yet little it cost in the giving.

It was only a kindly word, a word that was lightly spoken;
But not in vain,
For it stilled the pain
Of a heart that was nearly broken
It strengthened a faith beset with fears,
And groping blindly through mists of tears,
For light to brighten the coming years,
Although it was lightly spoken.

It was only a helping hand
And it seemed of little availing;
But its clasp was warm,
And it saved from harm
A brother whose strength was failing.
Its touch was tender as angels’ wings
But it rolled the stone from the hidden springs
And pointed the way to higher things,
Though it seemed of little availing.**

I never actually have been able to read this poem aloud without tears getting into the equasion!
 
oh, i’m sorry. i didn’t know that. 😦 i’ll definitely be sure to remove that website so that i don’t pass it on again. thank you for letting me know.
 
Allison,

Thank you for taking the time to share those wonderful websites.🙂
It must have taken you quite awhile to compose such a long list.
I can’t get the live Eucharistic adoration ones to work.😊
 
The time of Divine Illumination is near and it has already been used. It is a prayer given to a person who is not very holy but very “mouthy”. In the middle 1990’s I was given a line of the prayer on occasions over a three month period culminating at Teyepac on Christmas eve at 8.15 in the evening. It gives the hearer a GLIMPSE of their eternal future. I have used it first on a priest Fr Walter Winchell, who introduced JP2 to the Tilma. His words which I already knew were, “Many will try to do you harm for this”. I said said this prayer over about twenty people who wanted to hear it. Many do not want any part of it. Self proclaimed Holy People are the most frightened. One priest left the confessional I used the prayer for him after receiving Penance and Absolution. My confession was over. He left like a rocket and I found him standing in the sanctuary with a face so black and so frightened. Another priest fwll of his chair crying like a baby saying it is so beautiful. Yet another said you are so close to the fountain of life. That is to whom. I speak this Mary is Our Lady of the Healing Waters of Life.
When once I was asked to explain a woman’s feelings after we prayed. I was told to be quiet and have no opinions and I was to say nothing after the prayerful experience. All I know is first it is very frightening to many. Two it is a private revelation to the receiver and should send many rushing to the confessional. It is a private revelation that is right but I will not stop using it publicly.
How does Jesus speak to me. He must literally hold His nose. Here is an example.
"Just who do you think you are. I lead you follow I died for you read the scriptures.
 
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