I'm a confused, sad, Catholic

[TheCurious0ne]

Hi, I’m a very confused Catholic; I think I miss being non-denominational sometimes

I miss not ever worrying about my salvation I was so secure in my salvation and relationship. Now I can never stop questioning it. Everybody telling me I’m going to hell is driving me insane; I think near medically insane: I was recently diagnosed with anxiety and depression- i’m positive it’s because I can never convince myself I’m actually ‘saved.’

I go on Facebook or google a theological question and almost every time i’m met with hostility. “Romish Religion” “Whore of Babylon” “Popish Sacrifice” “Romish fables” “Bloody sacrifice”
“False Christian” “Blood drunk Whore”

I stopped seeking out anti-catholic material a while ago; it used to convince me of catholicism because of it’s egregious errors. Now I believe most of it (why i’ve avoided it).

What makes this even stranger? I pray MULTIPLE TIMES DAILY for wisdom and the grace to believe; I can’t! I want to so badly. I just want to serve Christ and have him at the center of my life.
This site along with a lot of you, have helped me overcome the theological questions. It doesn’t matter. I actually have fairly reasoned Catholicism, thats why I converted a while ago. I was so happy when I converted now I’m so scared. Not a 30 minute span has passed in the past 2 months where I don’t drive myself insane with this never ending theological debate in my head. I can’t even focus on school anymore.

I still do everything. Weirdly enough I actually believe most of it. I pray more than daily, I go to confession weekly, I try to get to mass twice weekly occasionally, I pray the rosary, I read apologetics, I read the bible, take the eucharist with belief in my heart, I near scream at God in my prayers for the grace and wisdom to believe. I can’t stop the incessant doubts.

I can’t even sit in adoration without the constant nagging that i’m worshipping bread. The bible makes a convincing case that it’s not; I don’t know why.

I don’t know what to do. Everything feels so hopeless.

 

[DustinQuick]

Hi, I’m a very confused Catholic; I think I miss being non-denominational sometimes

I miss not ever worrying about my salvation I was so secure in my salvation and relationship. Now I can never stop questioning it. Everybody telling me I’m going to hell is driving me insane; I think near medically insane: I was recently diagnosed with anxiety and depression- i’m positive it’s because I can never convince myself I’m actually ‘saved.’

I go on Facebook or google a theological question and almost every time i’m met with hostility. “Romish Religion” “Whore of Babylon” “Popish Sacrifice” “Romish fables” “Bloody sacrifice”
“False Christian” “Blood drunk Whore”

I stopped seeking out anti-catholic material a while ago; it used to convince me of catholicism because of it’s egregious errors. Now I believe most of it (why i’ve avoided it).

What makes this even stranger? I pray MULTIPLE TIMES DAILY for wisdom and the grace to believe; I can’t! I want to so badly. I just want to serve Christ and have him at the center of my life.
This site along with a lot of you, have helped me overcome the theological questions. It doesn’t matter. I actually have fairly reasoned Catholicism, thats why I converted a while ago. I was so happy when I converted now I’m so scared. Not a 30 minute span has passed in the past 2 months where I don’t drive myself insane with this never ending theological debate in my head. I can’t even focus on school anymore.

I still do everything. Weirdly enough I actually believe most of it. I pray more than daily, I go to confession weekly, I try to get to mass twice weekly occasionally, I pray the rosary, I read apologetics, I read the bible, take the eucharist with belief in my heart, I near scream at God in my prayers for the grace and wisdom to believe. I can’t stop the incessant doubts.

I can’t even sit in adoration without the constant nagging that i’m worshipping bread. The bible makes a convincing case that it’s not; I don’t know why.

I don’t know what to do. Everything feels so hopeless.

My dear, dear, dear friend. My heart breaks for you, because I know and feel your pain - trust me - all too well. But it also skips beats of joy for you, and me as well. Can I tell you why?

It’s hard for us to see it in the heat of the moment, when the doubts come, and you feel like your drowning in doubt, anxiety, fear - which may lead to irritability, anger, and resentment; and ultimately, hopelessness. Does this sound familiar?

Now, please hear me. This is going to sound stupid - stupid to the natural man. “The natural man can’t understand the things of the spirit, for they are foolishness to him.” The natural man in us right now, the world’s way of thinking, and the gasoline poured on the fire of both by the devil, says, PAIN! DISCOMFORT! RUN! If you just run away, the pain will be over!

Remember the Maccabees being tortured? If they just gave in, their pain would be spared. But they refused.

I want you to know one thing, my friend in Christ:

What you are going through right now is proof positive you are on the narrow path of truth. The devil is a murderer. He murders with lies, and he tempts. “If you just turn away, you will have peace, and your pain will be over, and you can be FREE!”

I want you to ask the Holy Spirit for confirmation on this, but I suggest, reading and meditating - daily - on Hebrews 12. That’s for you right now.

The whole truth about being disciplined as sons and daughters, causing pain. Although it hurts, it’s proof we are not illegitimate children. No discipline seems pleasant for the moment, but painful; but afterward, it yields the fruits of righteousness and holiness to those who have been trained by it. THIS, if this really gets in the heart, will cause SUPERNATURAL JOY in the midst of pain. Am I asking you to enjoy your pain? Nope. Jesus didn’t. But the JOY that the Father loves you enough to bring you in full communion with The True Church to conform you to the image of His Son - and making you walk in His steps (death to self) - is proof YOU ARE TRULY HIS.

Fix your eyes on Jesus . . . who for the joy set before him despised the shame, and sat down at the right hand of God. See even HE despised the shame and the hurt. But the joy set before him made him press on. You do the same, ok?

And remember, lest we become weary and discouraged in our souls, we have not yet resisted sin to the point of shedding our blood. So what is lame in us, may not break, but rather, be healed. We can run this race with Christ and persevere to the end.

As Paul says, these momentary afflictions are light compared to the weight of eternal glory that will be revealed in us.

Friend, the devil knows where you’re at - and that’s why he’s so desperate to make you turn around on the truth. He tempted Jesus the same way in the desert, remember?

Dude, the devil is using the same tactics on you he did to Jesus??? Yeah, I’d say you’re pretty loved by the Father and on the Truth.

Don’t give satisfaction to the devil by leaving. Satisfy the trinity by following Christ as a proven loved son (proof is in your trials! Rejoice!) to the end, in His one, holy, catholic, and apostolic church.

Meditate on Hebrews 12. Talk to your spiritual director. Do what he says.

I’ll be praying you you, ok?

Peace!

 

[Techno2000]

Hi, I’m a very confused Catholic; I think I miss being non-denominational sometimes

I miss not ever worrying about my salvation I was so secure in my salvation and relationship. Now I can never stop questioning it. Everybody telling me I’m going to hell is driving me insane; I think near medically insane: I was recently diagnosed with anxiety and depression- i’m positive it’s because I can never convince myself I’m actually ‘saved.’

I go on Facebook or google a theological question and almost every time i’m met with hostility. “Romish Religion” “Whore of Babylon” “Popish Sacrifice” “Romish fables” “Bloody sacrifice”
“False Christian” “Blood drunk Whore”

I stopped seeking out anti-catholic material a while ago; it used to convince me of catholicism because of it’s egregious errors. Now I believe most of it (why i’ve avoided it).

What makes this even stranger? I pray MULTIPLE TIMES DAILY for wisdom and the grace to believe; I can’t! I want to so badly. I just want to serve Christ and have him at the center of my life.
This site along with a lot of you, have helped me overcome the theological questions. It doesn’t matter. I actually have fairly reasoned Catholicism, thats why I converted a while ago. I was so happy when I converted now I’m so scared. Not a 30 minute span has passed in the past 2 months where I don’t drive myself insane with this never ending theological debate in my head. I can’t even focus on school anymore.

I still do everything. Weirdly enough I actually believe most of it. I pray more than daily, I go to confession weekly, I try to get to mass twice weekly occasionally, I pray the rosary, I read apologetics, I read the bible, take the eucharist with belief in my heart, I near scream at God in my prayers for the grace and wisdom to believe. I can’t stop the incessant doubts.

I can’t even sit in adoration without the constant nagging that i’m worshipping bread. The bible makes a convincing case that it’s not; I don’t know why.

I don’t know what to do. Everything feels so hopeless.

Just trust and believe that Jesus is talking about the Catholic Church here…
**

And Simon Peter answered and said, You are the Christ, the Son of the living

God. And Jesus answered and said to him, Blessed are you, Simon BarJona: for

flesh and blood has not revealed it to you, but my Father which is in heaven. And

I say also to you, That you are Peter, and on this rock I will build my church; and

the gates of hell shall not prevail against it. And I will give to you the keys of the

kingdom of heaven: and whatever you shall bind on earth shall be bound in

heaven: and whatever you shall loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven. Then

charged he his disciples that they should tell no man that he was Jesus the

Christ.**

Matthew 16-17

 

[jaimeleglise]

,Welcome home to the Holy Catholic CHURCH, the True one that Jesus founded. I have two explanations for what you are going through. The devil may be tempting you as you strive to come closer to Jesus. You might have OCD, an anxiety disorder consisting intrusive thoughts. This responds well to prescribed medication. Please see a doctor and a priest for help. Praying for you. God bless you. Please forgive any spelling errors, I left my eyeglasses at home.

 

[MT1926]

Hi, I’m a very confused Catholic; I think I miss being non-denominational sometimes

I miss not ever worrying about my salvation I was so secure in my salvation and relationship. Now I can never stop questioning it. Everybody telling me I’m going to hell is driving me insane; I think near medically insane: I was recently diagnosed with anxiety and depression- i’m positive it’s because I can never convince myself I’m actually ‘saved.’

I just said a pray to God to give you clarity and security in your salvation. Your statement above is somewhat confusing to me, because it would be the exact opposite for me. My son has become an Evangelical and preaches his once saved always saved mentality which makes him so secure in his salvation. That is until you think it through. It made no sense to me. I Asked him once so if something happens some day to you and you slip and kill someone or rob a bank or get addicted to something your still saved? His response was well if someone would do that they were probably never saved in the first place. I was like what? You mean if you screw up at some point in your life you will be shunned by your community and deemed never saved in the first place, how can you ever know if you are truly saved? That would be on my mind daily and I would be in the position you are now.

Now let’s look at the beauty of being Catholic. We have biblical sacraments to bring us closer to God. They might seem like rules and regulations but to me they are the love of a father for his children. Just look at the prodigal son he was Catholic and able to come back to the Father. According to my son’s teachings he was never the Father’s son in the first place, because he slipped. I love the Catholic Church she gives us guidance and leads us where Jesus wants us to go, not where we say Jesus wants us to go. When we slip she gives us confession, have you ever had a heavy sin that needed confession? No matter how many times I told Jesus I was sorry, I couldn’t get that weight off my shoulders until I finally got in and shared it with my priest. Talk about relief and security. I once again feel like a baby in my Father’s arms. What gives me the greatest security and peace of mind is purgatory. If you think it through it really shows you how loving our Heavenly Father truly is. The Bible says no unclean thing can enter heaven. I don’t know about you but I sure don’t know when my time will come, but I highly doubt when that time comes I won’t have a sin on my soul. I am at ease though because I am secure God will purge me of my sins and make me clean in purgatory. Think about it this way. You just finished a hard days work covered in grease and grime and arrive at you Father’s house for diner. According to my son he gets to go right in sit down at the diner table and enjoy the feast. For us Catholics, Jesus meets us at the door, takes us to a shower and gives us a clean change of clothes. He will hold the feast while we clean every speak of dirt and grime off our souls, no matter how long we take to do it. Once we are finished he dresses us in the most beautiful robe we have ever seen and escorts us to the feast. Who do you think will enjoy the feast more?

God loves you and has a place set for you at his feast, you will get there, he has shown us the way in his church.

God bless

 

[Irishmom2]

I would like to make a simple suggestion.

Stop going on Facebook or googling things that are going to upset you. You have found the truth and don’t need to read that stuff anymore.it obviously affects you negatively, so don’t put yourself in that situation.

 

[TARRAT]

I would like to make a simple suggestion.

Stop going on Facebook or googling things that are going to upset you. You have found the truth and don’t need to read that stuff anymore.it obviously affects you negatively, so don’t put yourself in that situation.

 

[Mayita30]

Remember how Jesus was mocked and ridiculed…
Seek out the company of those who are at peace with you. those who respect you and Our Lord.

 

[loumeland]

I would recommend, as a fellow convert, to not do anything that your conscience does not allow at this point.

Do not focus on the rules- you know Jesus Christ. Also, it seems to me that you are going about this alone. Stop reading material that causes you to double guess your decision, and seek the counsel of a priest. You need to step out of this rut by establishing an offline support network (priests, spiritual leaders, lay people, etc.). Trust me, for introspective people like you, there’s nothing like spiritual fellowship and objectivity.

Continue in your journey, and may the peace of God be always with you!

 

[jeffrey_erwin]

Please allow me to offer to you the Holy Face of our Lord.
It is a wonderful thing, a living miracle. And copies are easily available.
I’ll even send one to you if you want. Otherwise there is shroud.com and many others.

 

[Della]

Dear TheCuriousOne, you are daily cooperating with the graces God gives you, so you can have no doubts of your salvation. Satan wants to inhibit your spiritual life. He hates it when we abandon ourselves to God. Tell him to take a hike, and go on loving God and your neighbor in the varied ways Christ’s Church tells us to. You’re just fine. :console:

 

[DustinQuick]

I can tell you, Internet Catholicism - blogs, debates, Facebook - and more Catholic than the Pope Catholics, almost drove me outta the Church, CuriousOne.

As others have said, maybe give that a rest. It’s essential for the sanity of a convert/revert!

 

[JRS_88]

Do you have a spiritual director or a regular confessor?
These people (or person since these roles can obviously be fulfilled the same person), can be immensely helpful.

 

[loumeland]

I can tell you, Internet Catholicism - blogs, debates, Facebook - and more Catholic than the Pope Catholics, almost drove me outta the Church, CuriousOne.

As others have said, maybe give that a rest. It’s essential for the sanity of a convert/revert!

Amen to that. Especially avoid Sedevacantists in Catholic’s clothing!

 

[DustinQuick]

Think of it this way:

If a person has anxiety over “Have I done enough good works?” a person can be equally as anxious holding OSAS: “Am I bearing enough fruit, which proves I have been saved/am of the elect, to begin with? What if, at some future point, I fall away, showing my previous confidence in my perseverance - and my salvation itself - was all in vain?”

Person A and B end up with the same problem. Take it from me: I used to listen to Paul Washer and MacArthur, and literally everyday, I agonized over whether I was truly saved? Do I have enough sorrow over my sin? Do I pass the tests of a true believer in 1 John?

As a Catholic - I have other struggles - THANK GOD this ain’t one of them anymore!

 

[loumeland]

Think of it this way:

If a person has anxiety over “Have I done enough good works?” a person can be equally as anxious holding OSAS: “Am I bearing enough fruit, which proves I have been saved/am of the elect, to begin with? What if, at some future point, I fall away, showing my previous confidence in my perseverance - and my salvation itself - was all in vain?”

Person A and B end up with the same problem. Take it from me: I used to listen to Paul Washer and MacArthur, and literally everyday, I agonized over whether I was truly saved? Do I have enough sorrow over my sin? Do I pass the tests of a true believer in 1 John?

As a Catholic - I have other struggles - THANK GOD this ain’t one of them anymore!

Catholicism is very objective. We are saved and are children of God because of our baptism, not because of anything we have done, not done, felt deeply, or prayed sincerely.

By virtue of our baptism, we have been sealed by the Spirit, who helps us to abide in Christ each day, in the present.

OSAS believers tend to worry too much about what is not real (the future), to the extent of neglecting present communion with Christ.

 

[Della]

Catholicism is very objective. We are saved and are children of God because of our baptism, not because of anything we have done, not done, felt deeply, or prayed sincerely.

By virtue of our baptism, we have been sealed by the Spirit, who helps us to abide in Christ each day, in the present.

OSAS believers tend to worry too much about what is not real (the future), to the extent of neglecting present communion with Christ.

True, but we also have to cooperate with God’s graces by practicing our faith and doing the good work God wants us to do. People can lose their salvation through sloth just as much as through deliberate sin. It’s why we ask God to forgive for “what I failed to do” as much as for “what I did.”

 

[TheCurious0ne]

Think of it this way:

If a person has anxiety over “Have I done enough good works?” a person can be equally as anxious holding OSAS: “Am I bearing enough fruit, which proves I have been saved/am of the elect, to begin with? What if, at some future point, I fall away, showing my previous confidence in my perseverance - and my salvation itself - was all in vain?”

Person A and B end up with the same problem. Take it from me: I used to listen to Paul Washer and MacArthur, and literally everyday, I agonized over whether I was truly saved? Do I have enough sorrow over my sin? Do I pass the tests of a true believer in 1 John?

As a Catholic - I have other struggles - THANK GOD this ain’t one of them anymore!

That’s a good way to put it I suppose; thanks for sharing that.

 

[TheCurious0ne]

I honestly agonize whether I’m going to hell because I am a Catholic; terrible place to be right?

 

[Della]

I honestly agonize whether I’m going to hell because I am a Catholic; terrible place to be right?

I know what that it–it’s leftover anti-Catholic guilt that’s nagging you. I suffered from the same thing after I first converted nearly 25 years ago. I had to really reach back to retrieve those feelings since they’ve long since gone.

As St. Michael the Archangel to help you with this. He’s great at sending the devil away. Also, ask St. Dymphna for her prayers for you. She suffered mental anguish, as well.

Don’t be afraid. Jesus, Mary and all the Saints love you and are praying for you.