I'm a convert , but there's something miss from my Protestant church

[mikeledes]

Well, I’m not a convert, but there are converts who miss the fellowship they had in their former Protestant church and this deeply saddens them and makes them look at their Protestant past with nostalgia. They feel that the Catholics of their parish show little enthusiasm for Jesus and His Church and don’t go beyond memorized prayers and being physically present in church on Sunday. They miss the fellowship and the sense of family they had in their Protestant churches. Are there any converts here who feel this way? Are there any converts out there who do not have this experience?

As a Catholic, I also feel that good Christian fellowship is often lacking in many Catholic parishes. Sometimes I feel like I’m the only Catholic that takes my faith seriously and that deeply saddens me. Cradle Catholics, do you feel you have good fellowship with Catholics zealous for their faith in your parish?

Thanks and God Bless,
Michael

 

[Sr_Sally]

Our parish is very active so I certainly don’t feel like the only person who takes my faith seriously.

I do agree that many protestant churches do a better job of the purely socializing issue. Coffee between services, etc. But I also know people in protestant churches who attend merely for the social aspect. In fact there was an article recently in the Washington Post about atheist attending churches for the social or community aspect! I pray that it leds them to God, but I’m afraid that the churches they choose are just a different flavor of country club.

The answer to all of this of course is prayer and action. Pray for your parish, especially for your priests. But also see what you can do about starting up some social activity–coffee after the last Mass, a Bible study on a weeknight, etc.

 

[water]

My parish is very active too. We have different activities but Mass time is not for social thing though.

 

[anon49823460]

I understand what you are saying but how is that any different then getting together at a social event?

After receiving the Body Of Christ, in that glorious period of silence, have you ever felt or meditated on the ultimate bond of oneness that is Christ? The bond for those few moments when everyone in the church has received Christ? Outside of heaven could there be any greater fellowship? And that bond extends for outside of those few moments.

 

[jmcrae]

Well, I’m not a convert, but there are converts who miss the fellowship they had in their former Protestant church and this deeply saddens them and makes them look at their Protestant past with nostalgia. They feel that the Catholics of their parish show little enthusiasm for Jesus and His Church and don’t go beyond memorized prayers and being physically present in church on Sunday. They miss the fellowship and the sense of family they had in their Protestant churches. Are there any converts here who feel this way? Are there any converts out there who do not have this experience?

As a Catholic, I also feel that good Christian fellowship is often lacking in many Catholic parishes. Sometimes I feel like I’m the only Catholic that takes my faith seriously and that deeply saddens me. Cradle Catholics, do you feel you have good fellowship with Catholics zealous for their faith in your parish?

Thanks and God Bless,
Michael

My experience is that we create the experience that we are expecting to have. People perceive Protestant churches as “more welcoming” so they walk in there smiling, expecting to be welcomed. But they don’t expect to be welcomed in the Catholic church, so they walk in there with this scared expression on their faces, like someone is about to bite them.

Looking at these two people, from the POV of a regular parishioner, which one are you more likely to approach and say “hello” to?

Also, if you are doing your best and everyone is still ignoring you, don’t take it personally - maybe everybody else is new here, too.

My first day at Sacred Heart, I got mad because nobody said “hello” to me.

The lesson was on “Do to others as you would have them do to you,” so at the coffee time I went around to everyone and I said, “Hi, you must be new here, Welcome to Sacred Heart Church.” Everybody laughed; they thought it was funny, and I made friends right away. One guy said, “Thank you, I have been coming here for 30 years and you are the first person ever to welcome me to Sacred Heart.” After that, they made a point of noticing people they hadn’t seen before, and started welcoming them. People just need to be reminded, I think. But you also can’t go through life with a thin skin. Sometimes, people just don’t notice you, because, as it turns out, you really are not all that important to them. It is a lesson in humility to choose not to be offended by that.

 

[water]

Sometimes, people just don’t notice you, because, as it turns out, you really are not all that important to them. It is a lesson in humility to choose not to be offended by that.

Thanks for the advice on humility.

 

[InLight247]

The lesson was on “Do to others as you would have them do to you,” so at the coffee time I went around to everyone and I said, “Hi, you must be new here, Welcome to Sacred Heart Church.” Everybody laughed; they thought it was funny, and I made friends right away. One guy said, “Thank you, I have been coming here for 30 years and you are the first person ever to welcome me to Sacred Heart.” After that, they made a point of noticing people they hadn’t seen before, and started welcoming them. People just need to be reminded, I think. But you also can’t go through life with a thin skin. Sometimes, people just don’t notice you, because, as it turns out, you really are not all that important to them. It is a lesson in humility to choose not to be offended by that.

Instead of wishing to get the fishes in the pond, making a net and catch them.

 

[mikeledes]

But how do you develop interest for activities like bible studies, classes for evangelization, social gatherings that have a religious spirit, etc. when no one seems interested? They are just satisfied with going to church on Sundays and separate their social lives from their spirituality? What do you do when people are not interested in fellowship groups if it is religious in spirit and is alcohol free?

God Bless,
Michael

 

[djrakowski]

In response to the OP, I was thinking of this in a slightly different way.

My wife and I were received into the Church in 2006, and have had a very difficult time forging the kind of meaningful Christian relationships we had while evangelicals. This has absolutely nothing to do with warm, friendly interactions at Mass, but rather, in times we spend outside of Mass.

For example, my wife, who homeschools our two daughters in addition to caring for our 19-month old son, recommended a women’s fellowship group, in which ladies with similar family arrangements could get together to discuss spiritual issues, parenting and other such topics. Nobody was interested. In fact, one particularly influential young mom said that she already went to a Bible study and that was enough, preferring instead to get together and drink wine while watching silly movies.

Our parish has been running an apologetics class, and I’ve recently signed on as the second teacher. This class has been offered for a number of years (taught by another convert), and in a parish of nearly 900 families, we can get only 4-8 people to show up on a regular basis, and they’ve all gone through the material so many times that they’re getting bored with it. In other words, we’re preaching to the choir.

We notice that, when we discuss religious topics outside of the context of going to Mass, praying private devotions like the Rosary or Divine Mercy, or Marian apparitions, we’re cut off and the topic is changed immediately.

Now, this would be surprising if I weren’t in such an orthodox parish. Our priests are diligent about preaching the necessity of a living relationship with Christ, and preach the teachings of the Church without compromise.

So I don’t understand the disconnect.

 

[djrakowski]

Sometimes, people just don’t notice you, because, as it turns out, you really are not all that important to them. It is a lesson in humility to choose not to be offended by that.

I’m not talking about being noticed. In fact, I like that I’m not ambushed by an army of greeters when I walk in the door at my parish.

I mean, I want to find ways to get people engaged in their relationships with Christ in ways that go beyond the walls of the church and shared private devotions. But every attempt I’ve made to do so has been shot down.

 

[jmcrae]

But how do you develop interest for activities like bible studies, classes for evangelization, social gatherings that have a religious spirit, etc. when no one seems interested? They are just satisfied with going to church on Sundays and separate their social lives from their spirituality? What do you do when people are not interested in fellowship groups if it is religious in spirit and is alcohol free?

God Bless,
Michael

Advertise well - don’t assume that everyone knows where “Room B” is, or that meetings always start at 7:00 pm. And make sure they know what’s in it for them - don’t just say, “This will be good for you.” Say why - what is the benefit.

 

[djrakowski]

Advertise well - don’t assume that everyone knows where “Room B” is, or that meetings always start at 7:00 pm. And make sure they know what’s in it for them - don’t just say, “This will be good for you.” Say why - what is the benefit.

I’ve done all these things. I’ve placed ads in the bulletin, Father has made pulpit announcements, I’ve talked to nearly everyone I meet at the parish about what we’re doing in apologetics class, and very few people are interested.

 

[water]

Advertise well - don’t assume that everyone knows where “Room B” is, or that meetings always start at 7:00 pm. And make sure they know what’s in it for them - don’t just say, “This will be good for you.” Say why - what is the benefit.

Besides bible studies at our parish, the pastor also has a talk on every Thursday evening for one hour on the coming Sunday’s readings. By the end of this month, he will start on discussing all the letters by Saint Paul since this year the Pope would like us to honor the Saint.

The pastor sent out this notice with good details to all parishioners.

 

[jmcrae]

I’ve done all these things. I’ve placed ads in the bulletin, Father has made pulpit announcements, I’ve talked to nearly everyone I meet at the parish about what we’re doing in apologetics class, and very few people are interested.

Maybe ask them what they would like, and try to do that. (Or did they say that they wanted this, and now are not following through?)

 

[Sr_Sally]

I’ve done all these things. I’ve placed ads in the bulletin, Father has made pulpit announcements, I’ve talked to nearly everyone I meet at the parish about what we’re doing in apologetics class, and very few people are interested.

You know what? I probably wouldn’t go to an apologetics class either. Sounds too much like school, too much work for my already busy life. I would go to a prayer group or a Bible study. I would go to a reading group that looked at a variety of material by catholic authors. Certainly anyone of those activities would touch on apologetics and evangelization.

 

[djrakowski]

Maybe ask them what they would like, and try to do that. (Or did they say that they wanted this, and now are not following through?)

Apologetics class has been running for a number of years, so it’s a bit of a tradition at the parish.

However, we’ve suggested less formal Christian fellowship, sort-of like a Catholic equivalent of evangelical small groups. So far, nobody’s interested in coming unless they’re allowed to drink (which we don’t do in our home) and goof off (and we do plenty of that within our family without needing to invite people from the parish to join us).

So we ask people what they want, and it’s pretty much what they already have.

 

[jmcrae]

I’ve done all these things. I’ve placed ads in the bulletin, Father has made pulpit announcements, I’ve talked to nearly everyone I meet at the parish about what we’re doing in apologetics class, and very few people are interested.

Good point. The last thing today’s busy people need is another “class.”

Maybe rename it - instead of calling it an “apologetics class,” call it the Faith Renewal Club, or the LOFT (learning our faith together) Discussion Group.

 

[djrakowski]

You know what? I probably wouldn’t go to an apologetics class either. Sounds too much like school, too much work for my already busy life. I would go to a prayer group or a Bible study. I would go to a reading group that looked at a variety of material by catholic authors. Certainly anyone of those activities would touch on apologetics and evangelization.

As mentioned earlier, we suggested such a loose fellowship (aside from the apologetics class, which is a separate and long-standing program), and nobody was interested.

 

[CalmDownWisWins]

But how do you develop interest for activities like bible studies, classes for evangelization, social gatherings that have a religious spirit, etc. when no one seems interested? They are just satisfied with going to church on Sundays and separate their social lives from their spirituality? What do you do when people are not interested in fellowship groups if it is religious in spirit and is alcohol free?

God Bless,
Michael

Are you or are you not in the correct “place” for you? That is the overriding question.

Once that question is answered definitively, then you work to bring the gifts that other “places” offer to where you are.

The amount of energy that is spent to bring in those gifts to where you are is a measure of both how much you valued those gifts and, should the gifts be more important than the “place”, how much you value what needs to be the thing of most value.

 

[mikeledes]

Advertise well - don’t assume that everyone knows where “Room B” is, or that meetings always start at 7:00 pm. And make sure they know what’s in it for them - don’t just say, “This will be good for you.” Say why - what is the benefit.

Do you have good fellowship in your church? Is there interest for Bible studies and conversations on religious topics other than Mass attendance or particular devotions and novenas? How do they do it in your church?

God Bless,
Michael