I'm a loose cannon

[joshrp]

Hi everyone,

Just wanted to talk about a subject than any of you who are reading my posts will know. I am a bit of a loose cannon. I try to be truthful more than anything. I care about your soul more than your feelings, so I can be harsh with people, very harsh. But this is usually when someone is promoting or defending sinful behavior or ideas. Apparently a lot of people are offended by this. I’m willing to be a little Rabelaisian to make sure the point gets through when there is no other way I can think of explaining what the deal is. Priests were pretty harsh in the past, too harsh. They weren’t good teachers at all a lot of them. “Because I said so” was the big reason why you should do what they told you before. But today I think we’ve become too soft. Jesus was no Mr. Rogers. He confronted people all the time. He never agreed to disagree. He told people they were wrong, all the time. We need to make it more unpleasant for people to sin than it is to argue. I don’t know what else to say about this. This is what I think personally. I don’t think we are vigorous enough in our exhortations and rigorous enough in our reasonings.

Am I wrong about this? I once went to a healing Mass and the person who was praying over me told me to pray to St. Paul because I’ve got a hot temper. I laughed because I know it’s true.

Joshua

 

[Samson01]

I think a better term to use is that Jesus and the Gospels “challenge” us. Remember that 90% of questions are statements in disquise.

 

[joshrp]

I think a better term to use is that Jesus and the Gospels “challenge” us. Remember that 90% of questions are statements in disquise.

Am I challenging people at all or am I doing something else?

I can be offensive to people sometimes. But it’s not like I am disrespecting them as a human being. I need to tell the truth. If someone is sinning, I need to tell the truth to them if I really care about them. Your feelings aren’t that important if they are leading you to sin. Is there anything wrong with this?

 

[Cristiano]

Hi everyone,

Just wanted to talk about a subject than any of you who are reading my posts will know. I am a bit of a loose cannon. I try to be truthful more than anything. I care about your soul more than your feelings, so I can be harsh with people, very harsh. But this is usually when someone is promoting or defending sinful behavior or ideas. Apparently a lot of people are offended by this. I’m willing to be a little Rabelaisian to make sure the point gets through when there is no other way I can think of explaining what the deal is. Priests were pretty harsh in the past, too harsh. They weren’t good teachers at all a lot of them. “Because I said so” was the big reason why you should do what they told you before. But today I think we’ve become too soft. Jesus was no Mr. Rogers. He confronted people all the time. He never agreed to disagree. He told people they were wrong, all the time. We need to make it more unpleasant for people to sin than it is to argue. I don’t know what else to say about this. This is what I think personally. I don’t think we are vigorous enough in our exhortations and rigorous enough in our reasonings.

Am I wrong about this? I once went to a healing Mass and the person who was praying over me told me to pray to St. Paul because I’ve got a hot temper. I laughed because I know it’s true.

Joshua

I think that there might be a chance that you are really making justifications for your bad behaviors and that you do not want to change the way you communicate. I have a hot temper too and I know that in my case if I were to say what you are saying it would just be a justification. Please read Caritas in Veritate.

 

[Wardog]

I guess it will depend on what you mean by harsh. If you drop into personal insults, you have lost any credibility. I was told on another thread that I was not a real Catholic because I had opinions to which he took exception. He said I was arguing with God, which is real cool, because I did not know God was online in the thread. I thought I was arguing with mere humans.
Jesus could tell people they were wrong because he had the authority to do so. He is God after all. If you take the same attitude, I expect that probably you will be shot down often and hard.

 

[joshrp]

I guess it will depend on what you mean by harsh. If you drop into personal insults, you have lost any credibility. I was told on another thread that I was not a real Catholic because I had opinions to which he took exception. He said I was arguing with God, which is real cool, because I did not know God was online in the thread. I thought I was arguing with mere humans.
Jesus could tell people they were wrong because he had the authority to do so. He is God after all. If you take the same attitude, I expect that probably you will be shot down often and hard.

I don;t think I can tell people they are wrong because I have authority. I tell people when they are wrong because if I know their ideas are wrong and are leading them to sin, I would be sinning if I were to say nothing, if I can say something that might change them. The point you are trying to get at is what will change them. Well, that is tough. I’m the kind of person who if I see a kid run out in the street in front of a speeding car I run out there and grab him and pull him out of the way instead of merely suggesting to him that he might want to move. i think the problem with me is I feel like everything is so urgent. Like it’s gotta be done now, or it’ll never happen or it’ll be too late if I wait a while. I feel like I just gotta get them out of the way of that car as soon as possible. It’s almost like a panic. Like if I don’t do it now, I’ll lose that chance to help them, and then it’ll be too late and they are dead. I’ve had a few close friends die on me who I avoided telling to stop certain sins that they were in. So this really bothers me. I’d say it’s almost like a kind of post traumatic stress disorder that I have. My best friend died when I was 13. I felt like I died the moment the news was told to me. I can’t even begin to describe what that was like. And I was going to visit him on my next vacation. He was sick, and I knew he could’ve died, but I was afraid to talk to him because I was scared. It’s so upsetting. I really have no one I can talk to about these things.

 

[Catholic90]

Stay away from crass language. Stay away from crude terminology. It is not necessary, and it cheapens or often invalidates your point.

You are not the magisterium, so sometimes your opinion does not agree with others’ opinions. People will have varying opinions on many topics, and that is OK. That is what keeps life interesting! Imagine how dull life would be if everyone agreed with each other on everything!

Even priests disagree with each other!

 

[joshrp]

I don;t think I can tell people they are wrong because I have authority. I tell people when they are wrong because if I know their ideas are wrong and are leading them to sin, I would be sinning if I were to say nothing, if I can say something that might change them. The point you are trying to get at is what will change them. Well, that is tough. I’m the kind of person who if I see a kid run out in the street in front of a speeding car I run out there and grab him and pull him out of the way instead of merely suggesting to him that he might want to move. i think the problem with me is I feel like everything is so urgent. Like it’s gotta be done now, or it’ll never happen or it’ll be too late if I wait a while. I feel like I just gotta get them out of the way of that car as soon as possible. It’s almost like a panic. Like if I don’t do it now, I’ll lose that chance to help them, and then it’ll be too late and they are dead. I’ve had a few close friends die on me who I avoided telling to stop certain sins that they were in. So this really bothers me. I’d say it’s almost like a kind of post traumatic stress disorder that I have. My best friend died when I was 13. I felt like I died the moment the news was told to me. I can’t even begin to describe what that was like. And I was going to visit him on my next vacation. He was sick, and I knew he could’ve died, but I was afraid to talk to him because I was scared. It’s so upsetting. I really have no one I can talk to about these things.

Sorry, I;m crying right now. I’m afraid to make friends because I am afraid of losing them again. For some reason, I feel like I didn’t do enough for him. i’m just scared. I’m really scared.

 

[joshrp]

Sorry, I;m crying right now. I’m afraid to make friends because I am afraid of losing them again. For some reason, I feel like I didn’t do enough for him. i’m just scared. I’m really scared.

It;s so horrible when you don’t talk to someone for awhile and then you get the news that they died. My uncle, who was one of the only people in my family who took me seriously intellectually died a few years ago. He died in his sleep. He stopped breating and they couldn’t revive him. I loved him so much. I feel so rotten for not spending more time with him.

 

[Samson01]

I don;t think I can tell people they are wrong because I have authority. I tell people when they are wrong because if I know their ideas are wrong and are leading them to sin, I would be sinning if I were to say nothing, if I can say something that might change them. The point you are trying to get at is what will change them. Well, that is tough. I’m the kind of person who if I see a kid run out in the street in front of a speeding car I run out there and grab him and pull him out of the way instead of merely suggesting to him that he might want to move. i think the problem with me is I feel like everything is so urgent. Like it’s gotta be done now, or it’ll never happen or it’ll be too late if I wait a while. I feel like I just gotta get them out of the way of that car as soon as possible. It’s almost like a panic. Like if I don’t do it now, I’ll lose that chance to help them, and then it’ll be too late and they are dead. I’ve had a few close friends die on me who I avoided telling to stop certain sins that they were in. So this really bothers me. I’d say it’s almost like a kind of post traumatic stress disorder that I have. My best friend died when I was 13. I felt like I died the moment the news was told to me. I can’t even begin to describe what that was like. And I was going to visit him on my next vacation. He was sick, and I knew he could’ve died, but I was afraid to talk to him because I was scared. It’s so upsetting. I really have no one I can talk to about these things.

That is called “hypervigilance” and can be a sign of ptsd.

 

[Catholic90]

It;s so horrible when you don’t talk to someone for awhile and then you get the news that they died. My uncle, who was one of the only people in my family who took me seriously intellectually died a few years ago. He died in his sleep. He stopped breating and they couldn’t revive him. I loved him so much. I feel so rotten for not spending more time with him.

You are probably still grieving for him. If you were very close to him, perhaps grief counseling could help you. Talk to your priest or someone at your parish about that. Many churches have grief counseling groups. It might be well worth your time.

 

[joshrp]

You are probably still grieving for him. If you were very close to him, perhaps grief counseling could help you. Talk to your priest or someone at your parish about that. Many churches have grief counseling groups. It might be well worth your time.

That’s a good suggestion. i really appreciate you making it. i never thought of this before. I was originally going to visit him in February vacation but my dad did not get the plane tickets because he has a paranoia about planes, and he stalled until I yelled at him. Then he got the tickets for April vacation. My cousin died on Ash Wednesday.

When I cried to my mom that I was going to see him during February vacation and I missed him because he didn’t get them then. My mom said “But it would’ve ruined your vacation!”

i still can’t get over that statement. Like I was going to relax and travel. I was going to see my cousin and my best friend in the whole world, whom I have ever had.

 

[Wardog]

Sorry, I;m crying right now. I’m afraid to make friends because I am afraid of losing them again. For some reason, I feel like I didn’t do enough for him. i’m just scared. I’m really scared.

I hope you are talking with a counselor, either a priest or a psychologist, to help you through this. Don’t be afraid if the psych suggests some medication; depression is a chemical imbalance in the brain. It doesn’t make you crazy if you need help to get through this. My thoughts will be with you.
One of the good parts on Reconciliation is that it allows you to forgive yourself; this may be an opportunity for you to do so.

 

[joshrp]

I hope you are talking with a counselor, either a priest or a psychologist, to help you through this. Don’t be afraid if the psych suggests some medication; depression is a chemical imbalance in the brain. It doesn’t make you crazy if you need help to get through this. My thoughts will be with you.
One of the good parts on Reconciliation is that it allows you to forgive yourself; this may be an opportunity for you to do so.

I want an orthodox Catholic counselor. I don’t really like my current therapist, and I feel like I’m stuck with him.

 

[Wardog]

I want an orthodox Catholic counselor. I don’t really like my current therapist, and I feel like I’m stuck with him.

I have been through therapy; I am diagnosed with clinical depression, and my wife is bi-polar. Makes for interesting times. So I am talking from personal experience. It’s why I believe that medicine is sometimes a good thing to use.
If you are unhappy with your current therapist, change now. Contact your diocese for advice to find an orthodox Catholic therapist that you can feel good about. Your current therapist won’t take it personnally if you change. They know as well as anyone that people respond differently, and their methods won’t work for everyone.
Good luck

 

[AlanFromWichita]

I want an orthodox Catholic counselor. I don’t really like my current therapist, and I feel like I’m stuck with him.

Do you have a Catholic Charities nearby? The one in Wichita has counselors that work on a sliding scale. Julie and I went there for counseling before we decided to marry, and we brought one of our kids there with school-related issues. I was pleased with the quality of the counseling.

Alan

 

[Monica4316]

You can talk about sin but remember that when we are harsh, that might just push people away and they wouldn’t listen to what we say, and would be further from God than before… talk about sin when you know the person is open. If they wouldn’t be, just talk to them about God. Talk in a gentle way, that’s what the Saints often did and it worked. It’s a better witness. But if you know someone isn’t open to the faith, don’t talk about faith with them too much because first you need to pray for them. Remember it’s God who converts, not us… we need to give up that ‘control’, or trying to force people to believe, because it is often counterproductive and does the opposite. This doesn’t mean watering anything down, but just being prudent

God bless

 

[joshrp]

You can talk about sin but remember that when we are harsh, that might just push people away and they wouldn’t listen to what we say, and would be further from God than before… talk about sin when you know the person is open. If they wouldn’t be, just talk to them about God. Talk in a gentle way, that’s what the Saints often did and it worked. It’s a better witness. But if you know someone isn’t open to the faith, don’t talk about faith with them too much because first you need to pray for them. Remember it’s God who converts, not us… we need to give up that ‘control’, or trying to force people to believe, because it is often counterproductive and does the opposite. This doesn’t mean watering anything down, but just being prudent

God bless

Yea, I understand. This whole period I have been spending talking to all of you on CAF has been like a sobering up period for me.