I'm a nearly-30-year-old man getting confirmed. What do I wear?

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Sounds like the way I’m leaning. What about colors. Black or grey for the suit, black or brown shoes, what shirt and tie color we talking? Also, thanks for the reply brother!
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I’d be a little careful about brown shoes with a black suit though. There was a time when it was pretty much a no-no but a dark brown is acceptable now and even considered quite fashionable. Stay away from light brown or tan unless you want to be considered really avant-garde. 😁
 
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Margaret_Ann said:
Men look great in suits and ties and especially tuxedos.
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I agree. The first time I met the man who is soon to be my husband, he was wearing sub fusc, the traditional formal dress of some old British universities, comprising a dark suit, white shirt, and white bow tie.

Unless the OP wears military service uniform, I think a suit and tie is the best option. I can’t help thinking a tuxedo would look a bit odd in church. For some reason, men sometimes wear them to weddings, which I also think looks odd.
 
do_justly_love_mercy said:
For some reason, men sometimes wear them to weddings, which I also think looks odd.
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There’s a very good reason why they are worn to weddings in USA. Tuxedos can be rented; suits generally can’t. Many men who are asked to be in weddings or who are even the groom do not own a suit and cannot afford to buy one, or don’t want to buy one just for the day, so they can just rent a tux for one or two days and return it when the wedding’s over. Also the tuxedo allows all kinds of unusual color and style choices to match the bride’s color scheme, which some couples like.

I personally thought the tux thing was a bit over the top for my wedding, especially since we were both over 30 and I associate the “wedding tux” thing with young couples in their early-mid 20s having big weddings with a lot of young bridesmaids and ushers. So I suggested that my husband, his dad, and all three of the groomsmen just wear nice dark suits, figuring they would all have at least one suit. Then I found out his younger brother who was the best man didn’t own a suit and my parents-in-law had to buy him one. Can’t win for losing some days. Younger brother had just been married himself about a year before, and he wore a rented tux.
 
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Baho said:
I don’t want to sound lazy but… if you link a suggestion I’ll probably buy it. My wife and I are being confirmed, receiving first communion and having our marriage convalidated next month. What should I be wearing? I want to be comfortable without being too casual and nice looking without going too overboard. No idea what the cultural norms are.

FWIW I have asked my RCIA instructor but, based on the comments on my last thread, she sometimes gives questionable advice so I’m double checking with you nice folks.
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You aren’t just attending a bog-standatd Sunday Mass, you are receiving some very special sacraments there. Deserves something at least a little dressier than jeans. I’d say you can’t go wrong with dstk trousers and a button-down shirt if you don’t want to go as far as a suit-n-tie.
 
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Margaret_Ann said:
I thought men always wore tuxedos to a wedding.
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Not me. I haven’t worn a tux since prom and was married wearing a kilt and argyll jacket. We joke that my dress cost more than my wife’s. 😉

Maybe 1/4 - 1/3 of weddings I’ve served at in the past 3 years had men in tux. Most wore suits or slacks and sport jackets.
 
Baho said:
What about colors. Black or grey for the suit, black or brown shoes, what shirt and tie color we talking?
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In general I would opt for conservative combinations. I have a charcoal grey suit that I wear for more formal dinners. If I’m going out with my wife and friends I might wear a colored shirt with contrasting tie, but when dealing with things for the church I tend to go with white, pale grey or pale blue shirts with more conservative ties.

I guess the watch word would be dress to show you appreciate the importance of the event without trying to make a fashion statement.
 
I would recommend what I wear for church and recommend any other man wears for church. I think it would also mark this very special, indeed unique, occasion. My recommendation would be shirt, tie, suit and clean and polished shoes.
 
Interesting. It had not occurred to me that there would be such a practical explanation. I believe that black tie is pretty much the norm for Jewish weddings, and I thought maybe it had entered American culture that way.

Certainly New York City has a number of places where one can hire a suit (generally aimed at the wedding market), but other parts of the country may not have that kind of service nearby.

My preference for men at weddings is morning dress (a dove grey suit or black cutaway - morning coat if one’s not from the US - with pinstripe trousers, vest - waistcoat, tie rather than cravat). That’s what my brother wore for his wedding and what my father wore for his own wedding many years earlier. They both looked very nice. Kennedy looked very handsome when he wore it to his inauguration. Too bad his successors didn’t share his taste. When I get married I think my fiancé will just wear a suit or his uniform as we are planning something very, very simple with few guests. I’m not going to wear a wedding dress.

The one style I don’t like is the stroller. Why not just wear a cutaway? Notably, Reagan’s first inauguration.

Anyway, not sure how much this advances the OP - my apologies! But I would say, wear your uniform if you can, failing that, a suit or a combination of jacket and tie. But don’t go to a lot of expense. One thought: if you’re in the military, you must know a few guys of similar size, and maybe one of them would lend you a suit. Also, weather: in most parts of the US, June is pretty hot. You may end up wishing you opted for just a shirt…
 
Margaret_Ann said:
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do_justly_love_mercy:
For some reason, men sometimes wear them to weddings, which I also think looks odd.
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I thought men always wore tuxedos to a wedding. But then again, what do I know? I’m single. 😖
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I don’t think I’ve ever seen a man in a tux at a wedding unless he was in the wedding party.
Best man wore one at our wedding, a very informal village affair where I told my maid-of-honour to wear something she already had in her closet and hubby wore his dress uniform (he’d just finished officer training and hadn’t had time to get a mess kit yet). Best man was rather overdressed. 😃
 
Baho said:
Honestly dude, I’ve been in the military my entire adult life so all I’ve got is military uniforms, jeans and t shirts haha.
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If you’re still in the military, then your military dress uniform would be perfect. But a civilian suit and tie would be fine, and you if you want to spend less money, a nice dark blazer with a dress shirt, tie and slacks would work too.

This is a very special occasion that will happen only once in your life, so dress up nicely for it.
 
Tuxedos are not for daytime events. And, really, avoid black suits in general. Very dark blue or navy blue suits are the most versatile, by far. Black, brown or oxblood shoes all work just fine with those blue suit colors. Also, practise to tie a full or half windsdor knot. Lastly, no button down shirt for formal settings, and you are all set up 😃
 
Yeah, that part of the uniform always looked"off" to me. Like they were all going to the country club later.
But they don’t wear that now, do they? Unless they’ve gone “rogue”.
 
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When I was confirmed (as an adult), the catechumens wore white robes. We candidates just wore regular clothes–what you would expect to wear to church, going to that particular church.
 
Baho said:
My wife and I are being confirmed, receiving first communion and having our marriage convalidated next month. What should I be wearing? I want to be comfortable without being too casual and nice looking without going too overboard. No idea what the cultural norms are.
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Let’s not forget your wife… A suit (not a tux or gown) would be nice. Don’t forget to bring masks.

Cultural norms? Where were you from? Where shall you be?
 
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