I'm a Pack Rat, Help!

[Mrs_Sally]

Thanks everyone! You’ve given me some great advice! There is no immediate rush to this project and I have been trying to work on it every few months with my husband’s encouragement. I did pretty good at first since I did have a lot of junk, but as the time went on I started to move into things that seemed to have more value and I started to lose steam. I actually went through the stuff I had left in my old bedroom at my parents house a bit after Christmas, and even got rid of two bags of trash and two boxes of stuff, but the rest I piled up and left in a corner. I honestly don’t even remember what I put in those boxes and have told myself I just need to pick them up and drop them at Goodwill on the way home, but then I start to panic that I’d throw out something important.

My biggest problem is that I’ve been collecting books since I was in high school and have quite the collection now. Some of which I have never actually read. The last time I tried to tackle a bookcase I ended up getting rid of one book for every twenty I passed by, so I haven’t attempted another bookcase since. However they are the biggest culprit taking up space. It is just so mentally draining to even think about tackling the bookcases.

I’m going to do some serious praying because I do know it is bad to be attached to worldly things.

Books are hard for us too. But the entire family loves books, so no one is trying too hard to get rid of them. I have 12 6ft bookcases in my house and they are all full! Some shelves are double stacked!

We do go through books about every summer and take several boxes to a used book store. Sometimes we come home with more. Sometimes we take the cash!

One thing that made it easier to get rid of children’s books was to ask the schools/teachers if they wanted any. After they went through the box, we gave the rest away.

I would say, get some nice looking (but not expensive) bookshelves and line a wall with them - if you measure carefully they can look almost built in. Then that’s the space you have for books.

Things to definately get rid of are old textbooks and reference guides - they get out of date too fast. Popular novels and the ‘in’ diet books from last year. Books you didn’t really like or don’t expect to re-read (yes, even hardback non fiction!). Find a local used book store and stop by with a box or two every few months. Don’t take the credit-get cash instead! If they allow it, leave the books they didn’t want in the “free” bin.

 

[3DOCTORS]

Hi fellow pack rats! Boy, can I relate to a lot of this. I’ve been struggling with clutter for years. Starting to make headway but still have a lot ahead.

I have ADD, which makes me prone to disorganization and distraction, and OCD, which makes me tend to cling to stuff. Plus fluctuating energy levels - the spirit is willing to clean, but the flesh is weak, LOL!

I did create this group in the Social Groups part of this website and invite anyone to join - here is the link:

Time Management Team and Clutterbugs Corner: forums.catholic-questions.org/group.php?groupid=829

I have tried FlyLady but found it a little too rigid but Your Mileage May Vary, so don’t go by what I say - if it works for you, go for it. Myself, I like the book Cut the Clutter and Store the Stuff, and also Julie Morgenstern’s books on clutter clearing and time management.

Sentimental attachment to things is a big issue for me and it takes time and is a gradual process to work on that. Some people can go “cold turkey” and just turn off that like flipping a switch. Others like me need more time to work their way from the “least” sentimental to the most. I don’t think it’s bad to keep basic family memorabilia unless you have some real pathological attachment to it. :twocents:

There’s no one-size-fits-all cookie-cutter solution.

I’ve gone through a foreclosure and huge move, and then a somewhat smaller but still hectic move in the past two years. And for a decade there were other transitional times of going through cycles of changes - moving in with my mom when my dad died, my mom going to a nursing home, having a roommate move in then later move out, my mom’s death, having surgeries myself, etc. Each of these times I was moving stuff around. And sometimes I go through phases of shopping or collecting more stuff than I should. It all adds up.

My most recent move has allowed me to not have to fret over the expense of having a storage unit, and I only brought with me my most essential stuff to this residence because that’s all there is room for. Gradually I am taking from the storage unit only as much as I can handle at a time (which is always less than I think I can handle - it’s better to take it in small chunks) and “go through” it. I feel optimistic that I can get it pared down. Each move I’ve been learning to let go of more stuff.

I need to log off now but I’ll revisit this thread later with more of what’s helped me and may be helpful for others. :yup:

 

[agnes_therese]

Hey everyone. It is spring cleaning time again and this is really hard for me because I’m a future “Hoarders: Buried Alive” story in the making. Thankfully my husband doesn’t appreciate messes or keeping items we no longer need. When we combined our lives I brought 80% of the items to our new home and most of those things we don’t need. My husband wants to declutter and keeps trying to go through the items he brought with him but I’ve made him promise not get rid of anythings else of “his” until I’ve cleared the useless things I brought. I’m looking for advice on ways to let go of things. Any advice? How do you go about getting rid of old things? Or things you don’t need? What about things you don’t need that were given to you as gifts? Or were passed down through family?

The problem is compounded because when I moved out of my parents house (to the apartment I lived in before I was married) I left some stuff behind and my parents want me to either get rid of it or move it into my home. I’ve tried going through it and I got rid of quite a bit but I stack up like 5 or 6 boxes that I “couldn’t part with” that have yet to make it to my home (husband won’t be happy if they show up) and my parents keep reminding me to come get them… I really need some help.

I think I married your long-lost twin brother.

Old things – if you haven’t used it an a year, do you really need it?
Things you don 't need – give them away if possible. Maybe a charity organization. If not, trash!
Things you don’t need that were given to you as gifts – see “things you don’t need” above.
Things passed down through family – if you get rid of all the other junk, you might have room for these – IF you actually have some sentimental attachment to them. If you don’t, see if someone else in the family would like them.

You’re going to have to ask yourself over and over – *do I want this thing I don’t need more than I want a peaceful and organized home? *

 

[3DOCTORS]

So many good ideas here that are sparking responses in my mind, and there’ll be more to come, I’m sure. Here are a few for now.

@Sunbreak – that’s kind of my approach too – it’s like triage. You find and pull out the important stuff. You can pretend there’s an F5 tornado on the way or your home is on fire – and your loved ones are safe – but you only have time to get just a few of your things. What would you choose? :juggle:

Or do the reverse – go through really fast and grab, say, a trashbag’s worth of really junky stuff you know you can dispose of quickly. One of FlyLady’s things that I did like is what she called a “27 Fling Boogie” where you find 27 things to get rid of.

I don’t know if I could just get rid of a box, no matter how long it had been stored, if I did not know what was in it. Of course, that problem would not have occurred had I taken the time to sort and label before boxing, :doh2: which I’m retraining myself to do!

While organizing - stop before your eyes and mind go buggy and you feel frustrated. :hypno: Any positive thing you do, reward yourself with praise or doing something you enjoy afterward. :yeah_me:

@ Sailor Kenshin – I’d love to have the link to what you posted, if you have time to find it and post it here. Thanks!

EasterJoy – great post, much food for thought! I am also an artsy-craftsy type, and that’s often goes hand-in-hand with collecting a lot of supplies. I find sometimes that I do more sorting and rearranging and storing of supplies than making things with them, and I must reverse that trend or make myself give away some of those supplies.

When it comes to craft supplies, your parish school or preschool may be glad to get some of the materials – it saves them money. Or a local arts program for kids or a nursing home activity director might be happy to take such things off your hands.

Another popular decluttering and cleaning expert I like is Don Aslett. His book Clutter’s Last Stand is a great read – full of humor, and he’s a Christian so there’s the spiritual aspect in there too.

 

[Sailor_Kenshin]

Hi, 3doctors… It’s from Thrifty Fun (which is awesome) and here is the person’s profile:

Pika on Thrifty Fun…

 

[Bonnie]

Another popular decluttering and cleaning expert I like is Don Aslett. His book Clutter’s Last Stand is a great read – full of humor, and he’s a Christian so there’s the spiritual aspect in there too.

Me, too. I used to be an absolute slob. Between his books and Sidetracked Home Executive, I’m much better than I used to be. I can now handle the laundry & dishes before they become Mt. Everest. Tho I’ve still got a long way to go yet. sigh.

 

[akela135]

Thanks everyone! This thread has really inspired me and I made some progress today!

Following your advice Sailor Kenshin I broke it down to one small category today and got rid of clothes that had holes in them! I had lots of old shirts and socks with holes in them and kept going “Well I’m sure I can wear them a few more times” but then instead of wearing them I’d root around for the clothes that had no holes. So out they went today! It was a whole bag full too!

3DOCTORS I’m going to have to join your group! I could definitely use the emotional support!

I also took one more important step. I did so well with the clothes I thought I could tackle one other project. I’ve collected plush stuffed animals when I’ve gone on trips and had quite a few. One of my dogs even got into them one day (when he was new to the house and a puppy) and chewed up a fair number, ripping out the stuffing and what not, but even then I couldn’t bear to part with them so I bagged them up. Today I went through those as well, and the ones that had been chewed up were tossed! I’m both happy I’ve decluttered, but sad because I put a lot of emotional value on them. I think that is all the progress I can handle today

 

[TheRealJuliane]

Thanks everyone! This thread has really inspired me and I made some progress today!

Following your advice Sailor Kenshin I broke it down to one small category today and got rid of clothes that had holes in them! I had lots of old shirts and socks with holes in them and kept going “Well I’m sure I can wear them a few more times” but then instead of wearing them I’d root around for the clothes that had no holes. So out they went today! It was a whole bag full too!

3DOCTORS I’m going to have to join your group! I could definitely use the emotional support!

I also took one more important step. I did so well with the clothes I thought I could tackle one other project. I’ve collected plush stuffed animals when I’ve gone on trips and had quite a few. One of my dogs even got into them one day (when he was new to the house and a puppy) and chewed up a fair number, ripping out the stuffing and what not, but even then I couldn’t bear to part with them so I bagged them up. Today I went through those as well, and the ones that had been chewed up were tossed! I’m both happy I’ve decluttered, but sad because I put a lot of emotional value on them. I think that is all the progress I can handle today

Good job!!! That is progress! Your fond memories of your trips will not disappear because you got rid of the chewed-up stuffed animals, and you might consider taking photos of the others, saving the files on your computer, writing a little piece about each one and where you were when you got it, and then giving the actual stuffed animals to a charity. I would suggest a children’s hospital, but they may have rules against receiving used plush animals.

Anyway, just a thought. What I have done is take a bunch of long fluorescent bulbs, and try each one in our master bedroom closet light fixtures. I HATE fl. lights and when they burn out, I just use some other light b/c I don’t want to put the effort into replacing them. Eventually we are going to get rid of the fl. lights in the house, but eventually doesn’t get any light in our closet NOW. The previous owner left a bunch of bulbs for us, but one night, some of them fell and broke, and the ones that didn’t break needed testing (see, I can’t just toss them as hubby suggested). So I’m doing that now. So far I’ve found 2 that actually work.

And, I have told my handyman he can have my old bicycle that needs tires and tubes on both wheels. It cost me $300 and I may have ridden it 10 times over the last 10 years. The tires are too narrow for me to feel safe on at this point. Gone.

 

[aloe]

We love to get rid of things. Less stuff to clean, less stuff to move, and less stuff to store which is great since we don’t have storage. The main reason items clutter here is money. We see the value in items and want to sell them for a good price. This takes time and considerable effort.

 

[3DOCTORS]

Wow, you guys are all doing fantastic! :extrahappy:

I’ll hop on over to the group now and welcome any “new recruits”

Happy Spring Cleaning! When you think about it, it’s a fitting way to celebrate the Resurrection of Our Lord!

 

[MrsMacaron]

First off, if you can’t part with it, then start using it. Remember that most of the time, what is of sentimental value to you is something that means nothing so important to anyone else. If Grandma’s teacups are stained inside, then feel free to make a candle out of them, or to try to drill a hole in the bottom and make a little pot out of them. Don’t be afraid of ruining something that has already had someone else ruin it for its intended use. Don’t be afraid of chipping something that is in perfect condition. They still make teacups. Drink out of them!! Who is it going to mean anything to, when you’re dead? Who will ever want to own it after you, if no one ever gets to use it, or if you, the person they loved, didn’t love it or use it? If you didn’t care enough about it to use it, you are just sticking your descendants with the work of looking it over and pitching it out. (For this, they will not be likely to thank you.)

Are you saving scraps to make a quilt? If not now, when? When you save things, take into account that ownership of things costs time as well as space. Scraps don’t become a quilt without time. Things you have on display must be dusted, and take the place of other things you could be looking at. There is no free lunch when it comes to ownership, and you may be hoarding things that someone would use, if you don’t hoard them for so long that they’re beyond use.

After all, if you don’t ever want to use it or have it out where you can see it, then when on earth are you going to enjoy it? If it is worth too much for you to use, it is worth too much for you to own. Give it to a museum, if it is too valuable to use. If it isn’t nice enough to give away, ask yourself how much wear it really has left. If it is useful, though, then use it. Don’t just hold on to it, destined for the day when it will be lost in a house fire or discovered by an unsentimental stranger. Use it. If that wears it out, then throw it out. It will have served its purpose.

This!
A Priest at my old parish once said, “if you haven’t used it in the last 6 months it isn’t yours! It belongs to someone else! Donate it to the poor”

I never had that much, but now that I’m married it became crazy and now have the task to thin it out! Haha… Sentimental things…geez those are hard, but not impossible. The above poster is right, if you aren’t using it now, it’s useless.

Also, This was a GREAT idea…

• “I picture a man catching sight of her and approaching her telling her how beautiful she looks in that color! See? A husband and wife brought together and because I donated a blouse from the back of my closet I helped facilitate that! Okay these are perhaps silly fantasies, but I need to remember that the items in my home are NOT MINE…everything I have belongs to God, and God may be calling me to give it away because it is time for someone else to have it.”*

 

[Sailor_Kenshin]

I used to watch episodes of Hoarders for ‘motivation…’ and there were other similar shows that did motivate me for a while. Don’t recall the names, but there were a pair of ladies who shined some sort of weird light onto people’s bathroom surfaces to show up ‘germs.’

Then it dawned on me that the hoarders were being presented as a carnival sideshow, and I lost interest. I’ve turned to the innerwebs for better organizing and management tips.

 

[TheRealJuliane]

I used to watch episodes of Hoarders for ‘motivation…’ and there were other similar shows that did motivate me for a while. Don’t recall the names, but there were a pair of ladies who shined some sort of weird light onto people’s bathroom surfaces to show up ‘germs.’

Then it dawned on me that the hoarders were being presented as a carnival sideshow, and I lost interest. I’ve turned to the innerwebs for better organizing and management tips.

Yeah, that’s right!!! That was an English show, or at least the 2 women were English. Lots of tsk-tsking went on when they went into filthy kitchens or bathrooms. I haven’t seen that one in a while.

Hoarders just makes me sad, and I feel superior to those people, even though I have my own challenges. I think most of those people have depression and some have other addictions in addition to the hoarding. I never get enough information about the treatment they get for me to feel comfortable about the long-term outcome. It’s fascinating in an abnormal psychology arena (which I love) and yet unsatisfying in many ways.

Making a bunch of file folders right now. Gotta be better than just piles.

 

[3DOCTORS]

Yeah, I never could bring myself to watch an actual episode of “Hoarders” - just the comments from ignorant, nasty people on the website that were so insensitive toward people who have a hoarding problem, made me feel like the people featured on the shows were most likely being exploited by the producers to make a buck more than truly helped.

In my family there are some serious hoarders and I have some of the tendencies but by the grace of God have hopefully caught it in time and am determined to lick the problem. It’s multi-faceted, I believe. There can be anything from biological (brain chemistry) issues to upbringing or trauma, depression, loneliness, OCD, and even historical context (example, having parents who grew up in the Great Depression) behind it.

The good news is, we can “rewire” our brains by doing positive things to counteract the old “programming” in them. :newidea: and if we do it with prayer and mindfulness of Jesus’s teachings on not storing treasures on Earth but rather in Heaven, that is a recipe for success! :yup:

"For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also" - Matthew 6:21 or Luke 12:34

 

[3DOCTORS]

For anyone who’s interested, here is the other group I started that might be relevant to the clutter problem - Catholics Overcoming Materialism . . . forums.catholic-questions.org/group.php?groupid=669

A little more geared toward those who feel compelled to shop and acquire too many possessions and/or are hoarders and in debt. Hm, maybe I should post about it in the Faith and Finances Forum.

 

[akela135]

I’ve read and re-read this thread many times in the past couple days. I’ve made a plan and I’ve been working on it little by little and it really helps that I can come back and read this thread again to remind me to keep preservering! Thanks again for all the great responces. Especially for this Monicad!

Answer God’s call, answer the Divine voice that is urging you to let go of things. Jesus does not want you to be a prisoner to things, you are a child of God. Experience the freedom as well as the pain that comes with letting go, in the end you will grow spiritually which is the most important thing of all.

As I’ve been working on this I really do feel like my things own me and not that I own them. I really want to get to a place where I am the owner and can enjoy the things I have but let them go when I’m done with them. It really helps to know Jesus wants the same for me and that he will help me reach that point even if it is hard, and takes a long time.