I'm a schizmatic in need of confession

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I converted to Catholicsm and was confirmed Easter 1999 and was a good catholic up until Lent 2009 when I left the church mad over something a priest told me in confession. I have bounced in and out of protestant churches and even made 2 attempts at rejoining the RCC within the last 5 years but I get bored, get mad at Rome-why I have NO IDEA, try to justify every protestant argument against the church’s teachings and leave again.

I NEED MAJOR SPIRITUAL HELP! I buy religious books from protestant groups, even bibles and then tear them apart and throw them away. Even ripped up the catechism of the Catholic Church once. I have partaken of communion in Lutheran, episcopal and Anglican churches. Also, Presbyterian. I have put down the pope in front of a Lutheran sunday school, even told my mother, a protestant who wanted to receive the Eucharist on Easter while visiting my sister’s Catholic church, the reasons she shouldn’t and kept saying, “well that’s what Rome believe…”

I am scared to die and go to Hell without the church’s grace or sacraments. I am mentally beat, exhausted and feel I have lost all identity and I am scared to go to confession to confess all this because I had one priest cut wise with me once when I confessed about my masturbation habit, almost as if I insulted him by confessing this.

These guys now intimidate me. Alone, twist and without direction. Somebody please pray for me and I have even mocked the wearing of the scapular. Someone point me towards a confessional. Thanks and God bless!
 
Hello.

I’m so sorry you had such a bad experience.

Please go to another confessor if you can, and soon.

This site also has a lot of good information about Confession. And remember, Confession is a sacrament of healing.

You are in my prayers. Please pray for me.
 
I would like to offer a suggestion - do a bit of soul searching to discern about how you deal with hurt feelings and anger. Many of us Catholics have had a bad confession experience or two - and I remember sitting out on a dirt road in the country crying my eyes out and pleading with God to help me.

It was probably years until I could completely process that experience and realize the priest in my case meant well but didn’t know he was dealing with a scrupulous and extremely emotionally sensitive at that age young lady, and the effect was a bit like a sledgehammer to an ant! :eek: I was already so anxious going into the confessional, well, you get the picture. Not long after that I found a confessor who dealt specifically with scrupulous people so that was a great blessing.

Back to the original suggestion I’m making - if you have a very fiery, reactive way of dealing with things like this, and you tend to take out on the religion your anger against the priest, and be unsure of your religion and shifting hither and yon, try to get an appointment with the priest so you can talk about this and receive some spiritual counseling along with the sacrament of reconciliation. That way you can begin to be more in charge of your feelings and choices rather than the victim of them. May God bless you and keep you in His love and mercy. I’ll pray for you.
 
I would suggest making an appointment to meet, face to face with a priest.

I did this one when I was away from the Church and it was the best thing I could have ever done. The priest helped me big time. We spoke for 1+ hours and just chatted.

You can do this one of two ways:
  1. have confession first and if you like the priest, ask him for an appointment
  2. make an appointment to talk and confess at the same time
  3. talk with the priest and then confess afterwards
1 or 2 is most likely the best bet (I did number 1)

God Bless
 
I would add to the suggestion of confession, that you seek out some counsleing to get to the bottom of what looks like rage. In Oregon, we have Catholic Family Services which will provide counseling; and often, counseling can be paid for in part (or whole) by health care insurance. I don’t mean to be poking hard, but sin is part of the problem; however, it seems that it runs a bit deeper. It is one thing to be angry with someone whom you feel has insulted you; it is another to have this anger go into so many areas.

God bless. He truly does love you; fear is a motivator, but love is a greater one.
 
I am an RCIA Catholic who was received in to the church in 1990. In that time, I have had a few bad experiences with confessors. A couple were extremely harsh and shaming. I made a point to avoid them from then on. But I have had truly lovely experiences in confession.

Don’t let a bad experience chase you away. There are many good confessors out there. Don’t give up!

I pray you come back to the Catholic Church.
 
Thanks all. I am scared, but I have to do it. I am gonna write a list of sins, grievances since last my confession. Will definitely go this Saturday. God bless you all.
 
Less than 24 hrs away from confession. Help me LORD!
 
I offer this prayer on your behalf:

St. Patrick’s Breastplate
Code: 
I bind unto myself today
The strong Name of the Trinity,
By invocation of the same
The Three in One and One in Three.

I bind this today to me forever
By power of faith, Christ’s incarnation;
His baptism in Jordan river,
His death on Cross for my salvation;
His bursting from the spicèd tomb,
His riding up the heavenly way,
His coming at the day of doom
I bind unto myself today.

I bind unto myself the power
Of the great love of cherubim;
The sweet ‘Well done’ in judgment hour,
The service of the seraphim,
Confessors’ faith, Apostles’ word,
The Patriarchs’ prayers, the prophets’ scrolls,
All good deeds done unto the Lord
And purity of virgin souls.

I bind unto myself today
The virtues of the star lit heaven,
The glorious sun’s life giving ray,
The whiteness of the moon at even,
The flashing of the lightning free,
The whirling wind’s tempestuous shocks,
The stable earth, the deep salt sea
Around the old eternal rocks.

I bind unto myself today
The power of God to hold and lead,
His eye to watch, His might to stay,
His ear to hearken to my need.
The wisdom of my God to teach,
His hand to guide, His shield to ward;
The word of God to give me speech,
His heavenly host to be my guard.

Against the demon snares of sin,
The vice that gives temptation force,
The natural lusts that war within,
The hostile men that mar my course;
Or few or many, far or nigh,
In every place and in all hours,
Against their fierce hostility
I bind to me these holy powers.

Against all Satan’s spells and wiles,
Against false words of heresy,
Against the knowledge that defiles,
Against the heart’s idolatry,
Against the wizard’s evil craft,
Against the death wound and the burning,
The choking wave, the poisoned shaft,
Protect me, Christ, till Thy returning.

Christ be with me, Christ within me,
Christ behind me, Christ before me,
Christ beside me, Christ to win me,
Christ to comfort and restore me.
Christ beneath me, Christ above me,
Christ in quiet, Christ in danger,
Christ in hearts of all that love me,
Christ in mouth of friend and stranger.

I bind unto myself the Name,
The strong Name of the Trinity,
By invocation of the same,
The Three in One and One in Three.
By Whom all nature hath creation,
Eternal Father, Spirit, Word:
Praise to the Lord of my salvation,
Salvation is of Christ the Lord.
 
Sacrament of Reconciliation went well, penance said and back in Mother church, and GOD’S, good graces. Even filled out a parish registration form. Thank you God…for EVERYTHING! 🙂
 
total_Catholic said:
I converted to Catholicsm and was confirmed Easter 1999 and was a good catholic up until Lent 2009 when I left the church mad over something a priest told me in confession. I have bounced in and out of protestant churches and even made 2 attempts at rejoining the RCC within the last 5 years but I get bored, get mad at Rome-why I have NO IDEA, try to justify every protestant argument against the church’s teachings and leave again.

I NEED MAJOR SPIRITUAL HELP! I buy religious books from protestant groups, even bibles and then tear them apart and throw them away. Even ripped up the catechism of the Catholic Church once. I have partaken of communion in Lutheran, episcopal and Anglican churches. Also, Presbyterian. I have put down the pope in front of a Lutheran sunday school, even told my mother, a protestant who wanted to receive the Eucharist on Easter while visiting my sister’s Catholic church, the reasons she shouldn’t and kept saying, “well that’s what Rome believe…”

I am scared to die and go to Hell without the church’s grace or sacraments. I am mentally beat, exhausted and feel I have lost all identity and I am scared to go to confession to confess all this because I had one priest cut wise with me once when I confessed about my masturbation habit, almost as if I insulted him by confessing this.

These guys now intimidate me. Alone, twist and without direction. Somebody please pray for me and I have even mocked the wearing of the scapular. Someone point me towards a confessional. Thanks and God bless!
Click to expand...
okay that is great now lets look at this in a very Catholic light. You said
and even made 2 attempts at rejoining the RCC within the last 5 years but I get bored, get mad at Rome-why I have NO IDEA,

now read what you wrote again slowly this is an illogical emotional suggestion away from the life of grace. That is classic spiritual desolation. you need the rules of St. Ignatius of Loyola. These rules are like gravity. Its a observed happening that is mostly predictable. Rule #5 goes something like this. when you realize you are in a state of spiritual desolation (A: your on the right track in your spiritual life) MAKE NO CHANGE TO SPIRITUAL PROPOSALS YOU HAD IN PLACE BEFORE THE DESOLATION BEGAN.
Code: 
Rule #5 is your guiding light in these times when nothing makes a lot of sense. Get on Gods side and stay there. IF you have made a spiritual plan stick to it and don't change it for nothing. Learn to recognize spiritual desolation for what it is. A temptation of the devil to destroy your life of grace. You want to be catholic be catholic even when it does not make sense. Even when you get mad at the church for its stupidity. Yes members of the church do stupid things. Even evil things, that does not change your personal relation with Christ through the one faith founded by Christ. Stay in the boat and wait for the spiritual desolation to pass. Then when Gods grace returns re-evaluate you position from that point of grace. You can download all 13 rules FOR FREE and listen to someone qualified explain them to you, but here this YOU ARE NOT ALONE you are not even the first person on this site to have this problem. a few months back some said "I doubt something I spent 8 years coming to understand AND I DONT KNOW WHY" an illogical emotional suggestion leading you away from the life of grace. whenever you see this continue on your current heading until the devil passes and the life of grace returns.
Be holy and stay in the boat. God will never forget you. He never forgets his own. remember rule #5.
 
thanks down under. had a real bad day at work today, the old evil spirit turned it on today, but now at the end of the day, I have been able to shut out a “plan” that felt good and yet didn’t and have taken a necessary step to avoid contact with that “plan.” Man, I gotta tell ya, Satan’s fight against Catholics is REAL. Mother of God, pray for me!!!
 
Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death.

P.S. I’m glad you’re feeling better.
 
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