I'm About to Go Crazy

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DoloresHeart

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šŸ˜¦

I am at the end of my rope and completely terrified of what my future holds. Iā€™ve got finals next week- in my second year of college- and I am terrified that I am going to fail a certain class. Iā€™ve failed it three times already, and this is my fourth try at it. No matter what I do, I canā€™t seem to do well on the exams for it, despite all the studying, going to office hours, review sessions, TA/prof help after class, and I even hired a great tutor AND took advantage of the free tutoring available on campus. I have a learning disability and it prevents me from being able to understand the work the way most people do, and yes, I am registered with the university disabilities office and receive accomodations for it. If I donā€™t get a minimum of an 85% on my final, I will fail it again.

I donā€™t think itā€™s me so much. Yes, itā€™s challenging and Iā€™ll never be able to get an A in that class, but I am putting everything in it and Iā€™m still failing. I live at home with physically/mentally/verbally abusive parents and my life is Purgatory. I cannot move out anytime soon. They are manipulative and controlling and raised me so Iā€™m basically dependent. I cannot drive, I never got a job, I had no friends, and I am basically unable to move out. I cannot afford to do so financially and I know that I cannot study well and work enough to be able to split an apartment with someone. And I canā€™t drive besides. I have almost no family and the relatives I do have live very far away. I am depressed and I am also almost positive that I am either autistic or have Aspergers syndrome. I have been told by my professors and mentors that I am extremely intelligent and have a lot of potential, and I do very well in my other classes. I understand upper-level science classes just fine, I am volunteering in a couple of research projects where Iā€™ve basically run the projects. I feel like a useless idiot and Iā€™m so upset that despite my supposed abilities, I canā€™t even pass a general required math class. My parents are completely unsupportive and mock me all the time for it. I have no private place to go at home where I can work in peace. But Iā€™m forced to be at home when they want me to be. I live in the middle of nowhere and they drive me to and from school. Iā€™m a grown woman and I am not allowed to be responsible for myself.

I want to rise above all this, get good grades, and go to graduate school where I can put my talents and interests to good use, and get out of home. Maybe even get married someday and have a family of my own. I feel like worn-out goods and I have no one to go to and I just wish I could get a hug or something. Iā€™m so sorry for venting but my heart is breaking and I really need prayers to cope and to be able to concentrate when in my exam because I know that I really know the material, I just forget when I am sitting down taking the test because I am nervous.
 
My arms arenā€™t long enough to reach you in real lifeā€¦ but here:

:hug3:

I feel for youā€¦ I pray things will improve for you and that youā€™ll have your moment to shine šŸ™‚
 
It sounds like youā€™ve done just about everything you can humanly be expected to to pass this particular course.

My dad is a community college math teacher, and one thing he has told me many times is that there are only so many good math problems. There are a finite number of problems for the teacher to put on the test. My dad also mentioned that when he was studying for his MA exams in math, he worked every single problem in the book. I would strongly suggest that you do something similar with the time you have availableā€“just keep working through the problem sets that you have answers available for.

85% is kind of high, given that passing is substantially lower. If you have to take this course again, just work on getting your previous grades as high as possible, so that the final wonā€™t be so high-pressure. Itā€™s unfortunate that you are struggling so much with math, given that your gifts are in the sciences.

I have only two more suggestions:
  1. Are the accommodations youā€™re getting the right ones for your situation? Before you try the course again, put some thought and research into the question of what might help you calm down during the exam. It might sound silly, but what if bringing a stuffed animal to the exam could help you get through it with less fear? Think about if thereā€™s something that gives you a similar feeling of security.
  2. Have you researched if there is a bypass available for math at your college? When I was a college student, there was an exam available that if you took it and passed, you didnā€™t have to take the math requirement. I think there may also have been a provision that if your math SAT was at a certain level, you didnā€™t need to take the math requirement.
 
DoloresHeart, I am so sorry you have to go through this. Sending hugs and prayers

I, too, struggled terribly with math (in high school, though). It wasnā€™t until college when I was blessed with a professor who finally got through to me. Even so, my brain does not retain it the way it does other subjects. Is it possible to take the class with another professor? Maybe the way he teaches and the way you learn do not mesh very well. It happens, and itā€™s nothing to be ashamed of. We all have our strengths and weaknesses and people like you and I have difficulty with math.

As far as your parents are concerned, I am sorry to hear you have to go through so much heartache. Can you join any clubs at school? Are there any extracurricular activities you can get involved in? You may not be able to move out at this time, but you can find a way to stay out of the house as much as possible.

Iā€™m praying for you - Iā€™ll remember you in my Rosary tonight.

Also, I will send you a PM. If you need anyone to talk to, you can always message me. Iā€™ve had some difficult times, especially with making friends and so I can totally understand how lonely it can be.

God bless. Hang in there.
 
Dont give up. It took me 6 tries to finally pass my state test to get licensed to teach. 6 TIMES!! I didnt give up! I prayed about it the very last time i tested and i sacrificed through prayer, and fasting. And guess what, i did it. Well, God did it! Cz i put no effort into it. I was so mad at myself for failing every time. Ask God that if its His plan for you to pursue ur career, then to help u pass this course. If not, then consider changing majors. Also maybe take a semester off from this course. Try another required course and then later retake the math. Praying for you. You can do this but dont stress. Let it go and give it to God. šŸ™‚
 
DoloresHeart said:
šŸ˜¦

I am at the end of my rope and completely terrified of what my future holds. Iā€™ve got finals next week- in my second year of college- and I am terrified that I am going to fail a certain class. Iā€™ve failed it three times already, and this is my fourth try at it. No matter what I do, I canā€™t seem to do well on the exams for it, despite all the studying, going to office hours, review sessions, TA/prof help after class, and I even hired a great tutor AND took advantage of the free tutoring available on campus. I have a learning disability and it prevents me from being able to understand the work the way most people do, and yes, I am registered with the university disabilities office and receive accomodations for it. If I donā€™t get a minimum of an 85% on my final, I will fail it again.

I donā€™t think itā€™s me so much. Yes, itā€™s challenging and Iā€™ll never be able to get an A in that class, but I am putting everything in it and Iā€™m still failing. I live at home with physically/mentally/verbally abusive parents and my life is Purgatory. I cannot move out anytime soon. They are manipulative and controlling and raised me so Iā€™m basically dependent. I cannot drive, I never got a job, I had no friends, and I am basically unable to move out. I cannot afford to do so financially and I know that I cannot study well and work enough to be able to split an apartment with someone. And I canā€™t drive besides. I have almost no family and the relatives I do have live very far away. I am depressed and I am also almost positive that I am either autistic or have Aspergers syndrome. I have been told by my professors and mentors that I am extremely intelligent and have a lot of potential, and I do very well in my other classes. I understand upper-level science classes just fine, I am volunteering in a couple of research projects where Iā€™ve basically run the projects. I feel like a useless idiot and Iā€™m so upset that despite my supposed abilities, I canā€™t even pass a general required math class. My parents are completely unsupportive and mock me all the time for it. I have no private place to go at home where I can work in peace. But Iā€™m forced to be at home when they want me to be. I live in the middle of nowhere and they drive me to and from school. Iā€™m a grown woman and I am not allowed to be responsible for myself.

I want to rise above all this, get good grades, and go to graduate school where I can put my talents and interests to good use, and get out of home. Maybe even get married someday and have a family of my own. I feel like worn-out goods and I have no one to go to and I just wish I could get a hug or something. Iā€™m so sorry for venting but my heart is breaking and I really need prayers to cope and to be able to concentrate when in my exam because I know that I really know the material, I just forget when I am sitting down taking the test because I am nervous.
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:hug1:

I remember when I was in college, I switched majors. Are you in the right major?

Did you ever get aptitude and interest testing before you started college?

If you are doing well in your other subjects, you may not be in the right major for you. Had you considered talking to your college career counselorā€¦or whatever it is they now call it today?

Also, do you get any student counseling? It may even be included in your student activity fee.

Hail Mary, Full of Grace, the Lord is with thee. Blessed art thou amongst women, and blest is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death. Amen. :gopray:
 
Holy Mother, please send angels to help this soul. Amen.

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou among women and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary, mother of God,
Pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death.

Amen.
 
DoloresHeart said:
šŸ˜¦

I am at the end of my rope and completely terrified of what my future holds. Iā€™ve got finals next week- in my second year of college- and I am terrified that I am going to fail a certain class. Iā€™ve failed it three times already, and this is my fourth try at it. No matter what I do, I canā€™t seem to do well on the exams for it, despite all the studying, going to office hours, review sessions, TA/prof help after class, and I even hired a great tutor AND took advantage of the free tutoring available on campus. I have a learning disability and it prevents me from being able to understand the work the way most people do, and yes, I am registered with the university disabilities office and receive accomodations for it. If I donā€™t get a minimum of an 85% on my final, I will fail it again.

I donā€™t think itā€™s me so much. Yes, itā€™s challenging and Iā€™ll never be able to get an A in that class, but I am putting everything in it and Iā€™m still failing. I live at home with physically/mentally/verbally abusive parents and my life is Purgatory. I cannot move out anytime soon. They are manipulative and controlling and raised me so Iā€™m basically dependent. I cannot drive, I never got a job, I had no friends, and I am basically unable to move out. I cannot afford to do so financially and I know that I cannot study well and work enough to be able to split an apartment with someone. And I canā€™t drive besides. I have almost no family and the relatives I do have live very far away. I am depressed and I am also almost positive that I am either autistic or have Aspergers syndrome. I have been told by my professors and mentors that I am extremely intelligent and have a lot of potential, and I do very well in my other classes. I understand upper-level science classes just fine, I am volunteering in a couple of research projects where Iā€™ve basically run the projects. I feel like a useless idiot and Iā€™m so upset that despite my supposed abilities, I canā€™t even pass a general required math class. My parents are completely unsupportive and mock me all the time for it. I have no private place to go at home where I can work in peace. But Iā€™m forced to be at home when they want me to be. I live in the middle of nowhere and they drive me to and from school. Iā€™m a grown woman and I am not allowed to be responsible for myself.

I want to rise above all this, get good grades, and go to graduate school where I can put my talents and interests to good use, and get out of home. Maybe even get married someday and have a family of my own. I feel like worn-out goods and I have no one to go to and I just wish I could get a hug or something. Iā€™m so sorry for venting but my heart is breaking and I really need prayers to cope and to be able to concentrate when in my exam because I know that I really know the material, I just forget when I am sitting down taking the test because I am nervous.
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Please calm down, anxiety is not from God. You have taken the class three times, if you fail this time you can assume that for some reason this is Godā€™s will. I failed Calculus and Inorganic Chemistry. I decided that God didnā€™t want me to be a scientist or an engineer.
So do your best and accept Godā€™s will.

We will pray for you that life will become better for you.

Linus2nd
 
I also did lousy in Math after Jr. High School. Never could wrap my mind around it, but did great in Biology and other life sciences. Did finally ā€œget itā€ in Nursing School later, but only in the Metric System used for medications. And even then, I always carried a ā€œcheat sheetā€ of common dosages of drugs for my Nursing after graduation and while working, since they are very specific, and a wrong dose can do either no good or kill a patient. I will certainly pray for you for your exam. I was also nervous when it came to exams. Did great until exams, even in my major! I found a trick that worked to calm me ā€“ in my case it was a sour fruit chew candy (in small wrapped pieces) and I always had a handful in my pocket for exams. After that I did much better. I was skipped through 2 grades in elementary school, and despite numerous tries, I STILL donā€™t know the multiplication tables, and Iā€™m not dumb, just like you, math is not my strong point by a long shot!!!

My husband was a nurse for 48 years, top of his class in actual clinical work, but did average or below average in exams! And he was a terrific nurse! Even the Instructor would ask him to teach some things. Heā€™d been a Medic in the Army for 20 years when he got out and went for his RN! Almost didnā€™t get it, simply due to the exams! He absolutely went blank and got the shakes when an exam paper was put in front of him, but if asked verbally, he knew all the answers. This wonā€™t work for math for most people, but there should be some way to lower your stress level in the exams. Is there any assistance from your college or the town itā€™s in to get you out of the home situation which is adding to your stress? Talk to your college counselor about the home situation, they might be able to get you out and into a college dorm (like a scholarship plan, but just for room and board) so you arenā€™t so stressed out and can walk to classes on campus. Will be remembering you in my prayers for quite a while!:signofcross:
 
My gosh, I have such a similar problem. Iā€™m ā€œsupposedly giftedā€ as you put it, but I [Istink* at math. I do fairly well in my other classes and occasionally excell at something. But often I just get discouraged. I can spend an hour doing just one problem. Itā€™s lame. And itā€™s starting to get in the way of my College life. I feel for you, understand a little bit in ways, and am certainly praying for you. I am especially sorry your parents arenā€™t supportive, I have no idea how Iā€™d handle this if my parents werenā€™t so kind. Theyā€™ve been nothing but supportive, helpful, patiently persistent. Even if you fail again, hang on and keep praying, okay? And a lack of ability in an area society values does not lessen your gifts, your importance to Godā€™s plan, nor your worth. Itā€™s hard to fully realize that either emotionally or rationally sometimes, but itā€™s true.
 
I am sorry to hear of this. Math is problematic for a lot of people. Please donā€™t feel alone about that. You mention a disability. There are disabilities that cause people to have trouble specifically with math. Have you ever been testing in that regard?

If you are your own guardian you can move on your own, but in your case it may mean that you need to work specifically with an agency that helps people with disabilities achieve that goal. You could check with a counselor at the school or a social worker about something like this if you want.

I will pray for you in this matter. I wish I could be your tutor for math, as this is something I have done in the past. But, as you said you have worked with someone and I hope it helps. Hang in there and know that you are loved by God.
 
Praying for you. You are in a very difficult situation. I am saying a novena for my daughters exams next week. I will include you.
 
Hi everyone,

Thank you so much for your advice and prayers. It meant a lot to me. Unfortunately I did not pass my class, but I did feel a lot more calm about the whole situation. Iā€™m going to take a semester off from math and take more enjoyable (even if somewhat difficult in some cases) and easier required classes in an effort to bump up my GPA and get back my confidence and try to get my life in order. Maybe Iā€™ll see if I can get some counseling or something to try to deal with my home situation, and look at the options for moving out if at all possible. Perhaps by the fall semester of next year things will be looking brighter.

Iā€™m just going to try to keep my head up and not give up. Please keep me in your prayers for this and my personal situation. I have really low self-esteem and feel really alone right now, even though I know that God and His Mother loves me. :gopray2:
 
DoloresHeart said:

ā€œIā€™m going to take a semester off from math and take more enjoyable (even if somewhat difficult in some cases) and easier required classes in an effort to bump up my GPA and get back my confidence and try to get my life in order.ā€

That sounds very good.

If it doesnā€™t stress you out, you might want to try some math computer games (like for kids) or some Kumon workbooks to keep up your skills. I wouldnā€™t suggest doing something so potentially stressful, were it not for the fact that the skills do erode with disuse.

Hereā€™s an article entitled ā€œHelp Your Teen Avoid the Summer Math Slide.ā€

education.ti.com/en/us/about/press/about_press_release_news146

Best wishes!
 
DoloresHeart said:
Hi everyone,

Thank you so much for your advice and prayers. It meant a lot to me. Unfortunately I did not pass my class, but I did feel a lot more calm about the whole situation. Iā€™m going to take a semester off from math and take more enjoyable (even if somewhat difficult in some cases) and easier required classes in an effort to bump up my GPA and get back my confidence and try to get my life in order. Maybe Iā€™ll see if I can get some counseling or something to try to deal with my home situation, and look at the options for moving out if at all possible. Perhaps by the fall semester of next year things will be looking brighter.

Iā€™m just going to try to keep my head up and not give up. Please keep me in your prayers for this and my personal situation. I have really low self-esteem and feel really alone right now, even though I know that God and His Mother loves me. :gopray2:
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That sounds like a good idea. Take the minimum number of credits too and make sure you include at least one class that you take purely for enjoyment, not necessarily because itā€™s required.

Remember that you are not your GPA, nor are you your major. Neither of those things has any effect on your value as a person.
 
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