I'm afraid to go to Confession; what now?

[ali_ann]

Lately, I have been struggling with my faith. I am not so sure that I agree with the Church’s stance on not having sex outside of marriage. I am not married and I have had sex with several guys. I know I should not do this because it is a sin but sometimes I feel like I can’t help it. I attend mass almost every Sunday and I regularly confess my sins to a God and ask for forgiveness. I have not been to confession in two or three years. I know I should go but I am so shy and nervous. I feel like I am scared to go. What should I do about this? Is confessing my sins to God good enough? I don’t plan on dying anytime soon, but I do not want to go to hell. If I do not confess my sins, will I go to hell?

 

[Fr.Vincent_Serpa]

Dear friend,

You say that you don’t plan on dying any time soon. But not planning is hardly an assurance that you won’t . Any of us could be run down by a beer truck tomorrow. Further, if you knew that you WERE going to die tomorrow, you would be sure to get to Confession and your reasons for reluctance would dissolve into midair.

I do not for a moment think that you really disagree with the Church’s stance on not having sex outside of marriage; you just want it not to be so. Hearing our self-accusations of sins we have committed is not an easy thing for anyone to do—especially in front of someone else. But that ‘someone else’ does the same thing when HE goes to Confession. We’re all in the same boat. I hear many, many Confessions and am used to saying “Through the ministry of the Church, may God grant you pardon and peace and I absolve you from your sins in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit.” But when I hear a priest say those words for me—wow; they sound SO good!

The Lord has given you a cross to carry and when you fail to carry it, go to Confession and receive strength to carry on. The priest is not going to be angry with you; he’s a sinner too. As to why people have such crosses, read the following question I received over a year ago and the answer I gave:

forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=847979

You are in my prayers, friend. Feel free to contact me privately by clicking on my name
above.

Fr. Vincent Serpa, O.P.