J
JustACybersoul
Guest
I was young. I had a very distinctive Internet nickname. And I bragged about it, so everyone knew irl. And they could easily have googled it. And everything I said was very embarrasing. It was about God, but I had a very different perspective to everyone else. I was…prone to awkward analogies. To say the least. So anyway it was deeply embarrasing and probably everyone knew. But it was ok; I was just being a child and I wasn’t doing any harm. Then I thought I learned and it was over…but that was when it became worse. Because then I saying even worse things…and it sounded like I was deliberately trying to stir up trouble, and to ‘get at’ an innocent person, who was absolutely none of my business. (And this was a very good person-much better than I’ll ever be-who had never done a thing to me and who, in fact, had always gone out of her way to be nice.) And the things I said on the Internet…sounded mean and hurtful and as if they were directed at her. But they weren’t. I was just young, upset, lonely, & looking for attention and excitement. So I said all that rubbish and now she wants nothing to do with me. And I’ll probably never see her again. And I’m truly sorry, but it’s not as if I can just apoligize. And it is innapropriate for me to have anything to do with her anyway. It’s so stupid, and so embarrasing. I can only hope she’s completely forgotten it. But I can’t just forget it. I’m a cyber-bully. And I never meant to be a cyberbully. And I’ve done something bad to someone who was trying to be nice to me, and who was none of my business. And all I can do is live with it, and hope that going to Rome will make me feel better. And I still hope that someday there will be a miracle and we can somehow be friends again. Thanks for reading. Is there anything else I can do?