I'm at Franciscan!

[Madaglan]

Thank you everyone for your posts. Please keep me in your prayers. Things right now are not as bad as at first, but it’s very much of a roller coaster right now. For a few hours I feel extremely depressed because I have difficulty connecting with people, and then several other hours I am almost overly elated when I do indeed connect with others. I just wish it would stabalize.

Yes, I’m in Trinity East. I don’t know who Brian is yet, but I’ll tell him that you say hi when I do. I have yet to meet Todd, but he seems to be the Byzantine celebrity, and an absolute favorite of the professors (hint of sarcasm).

But yeah, if you could please pray for me. Right now I’m in a very sad mood. There’s this one person I like and i’ve talked with her. She even gave me her cell phone number via email when i didn’t ask for it (i only asked for her email). But sometimes when I see her in public she doesn’t come up to me and say hi or anything, even when it seems that she can see me. I don’t know what’s up with that. It’s mostly me going up to and approaching her. And I have approached and talked with her twice since she first randomly came across me.

Strangely enough, I actually dreamed of this girl about a year ago while asleep. I know that sounds strange, but it’s true. I was looking for this girl on campus the first few days here, and then, serendipitiously, she happened to randomly sit across from me at dinner on the second day of classes. It seemed like a miracle then, but I don’t understand why, even after I become friends with people, they tend to maintain somewhat of a distance from me. I’m very friendly with them, and they with me, that is, when they talk with me. However, sometimes I feel as though I think on a different plane than everyone else on campus.

Could you please pray that God grant me some peace? Thanks!

I just don’t like it when God plays games with me

 

[legeorge]

Oh, Congratulations! I’m so jealous, as I never actually made it to college myself! I have been to FUS, and think it is a wonderful place for a young Catholic to be!
I also just went to my first Byzantine Mass and loved it too! I think I am just falling in love with the Eastern Churches! But we will remain Latin Rite (hubby insists I admit I get carried away over new things!)
I have trouble making friends too. Mostly it is because we are practicing orthodox Catholics and don’t know a lot of people our age who are the same. I would say I have innumerable aquaintences, but no close friends (except my husband). But you are surrounded!! Undoubtedly, as soon as you stop thinking about it so much and being so nervous, you will find yourself with a host of friends (and probably a girlfriend too! ) My husband was a shy one also. Lots of girls down there will be looking for a guy just like you!! I’m sure of it!!
So have faith, have fun, and fulfill God’s will for your life! You’re on the right track!!

 

[proud2bcatholic]

Hi, my name is Brian, tell the others that Brian (me) said hi.

In regards to your situation. I am sorry that you feel depressed, just give it time.

Keep in mind, that others are shy also and thus the reason why others may hesitate to approach you.

Just keep a positive attitude, force yourself to be outgoing, wear a smile on your face and be approachable. I think you are thinking about the way others think about you to much. Work on your self esteem and take matters in your own hands.

I am a relatively shy person also, and it is hard to be outgoing, but sometimes we just have to suck it up and go for it.

I will pray for you.

 

[Madaglan]

Thank you everyone for your thoughts and prayers. I am just starting after a bad experience in undergrad, so I’m a bit apprehensive still. I suppose I need to drop all the baggage I had while in undergrad, since this place is different.

Anyhow, I have to get going. Adios!

 

[EsclavoDeCristo]

Madaglan,

Hey congratulations on being at one awesome school! I know it can be a bit overwhelming to be in that type of social setting with all these super zealous extroverted young Catholics! I was there this past weekend helping my little sis move in and was surprised at all the carasmatic stuff and all the hands going up in worship during the Mass.

If you want, pm me and I’ll give you my sisters info. She is a grad student in theology. Also, I know that Sweet Chuck is a new grad student there as well.

God bless you!

 

[scylla]

Yes, drop your baggage, this is a great chance for you and there are so many people who would love to have a chance to be where you are right now.

Be friendly and keep trying, but don’t get discouraged. I was shy throughout college and made very few friends, I only met my wife after college and I am extremely happy. It is harder for some people, so use the extra time to explore more, and enjoy the freedom you have.

Those women will just eat up your time anyways, heck my wife is always telling me to get off the computer.

God Bless, and enjoy,
Scylla

 

[Consecrated]

Madaglan:

Thank you everyone for your posts. Please keep me in your prayers. Things right now are not as bad as at first, but it’s very much of a roller coaster right now. For a few hours I feel extremely depressed because I have difficulty connecting with people, and then several other hours I am almost overly elated when I do indeed connect with others. I just wish it would stabalize.

Yes, I’m in Trinity East. I don’t know who Brian is yet, but I’ll tell him that you say hi when I do. I have yet to meet Todd, but he seems to be the Byzantine celebrity, and an absolute favorite of the professors (hint of sarcasm).

But yeah, if you could please pray for me. Right now I’m in a very sad mood. There’s this one person I like and i’ve talked with her. She even gave me her cell phone number via email when i didn’t ask for it (i only asked for her email). But sometimes when I see her in public she doesn’t come up to me and say hi or anything, even when it seems that she can see me. I don’t know what’s up with that. It’s mostly me going up to and approaching her. And I have approached and talked with her twice since she first randomly came across me.

Strangely enough, I actually dreamed of this girl about a year ago while asleep. I know that sounds strange, but it’s true. I was looking for this girl on campus the first few days here, and then, serendipitiously, she happened to randomly sit across from me at dinner on the second day of classes. It seemed like a miracle then, but I don’t understand why, even after I become friends with people, they tend to maintain somewhat of a distance from me. I’m very friendly with them, and they with me, that is, when they talk with me. However, sometimes I feel as though I think on a different plane than everyone else on campus.

Could you please pray that God grant me some peace? Thanks!

I just don’t like it when God plays games with me

Oh honey! Offer it up! Our Lord isn’t playing with you, but it does sound like he’s giving you a dose of what I like to call “scattered emotions”. The best thing is to realize that your ups and downs are only emotions, and that they can change at any given time on their own, it seems. Thank God for the times you “feel” good, and plow through the times you “feel” bad (remembering to offer it up), and place your hope and peace in the hands of Mother Mary. She will take care of you like you’re her own little son, if you let her. Let her be your first and best friend, (after her Son of course!), and she will introduce you to some kindred spirits in the time she knows is best for you. Continue being friendly, and try not to take people’s reactions to you too personally. After all, they don’t even know you!

I’m a Steubenville grad myself ('01), and one of the strange things I noticed while a student there is that after you meet someone and think you’re on a “Hi!” basis with them, they will seem to forget they’ve met you. Just ignore that, and continue to say smile and say hi to them. Eventually you’ll find someone (be it girl or guy) who’s willing to continue the conversation! Usually, it’s easier to make friends with the people you live with… then you can travel with them to meals and stuff. I think it’s really hard to make friends in the caf. People there usually already have a group to hang with (a “click”) and it can be really hard to come in on that. Not that they’re mean people, but just, well, a little inconsiderate, and maybe shy themselves.

I totally second the opinion that if you stop seeking desperately for a soulmate, that very soulmate will drop right into your life at the time you least expect it and most need it. Remember God knows what you need much better than you do!

And totally continue to go to Mass and pray before Jesus in the Port. A huge source of peace and consolation, that place.

Most of the best and most precious relationships I’ve forged so far in my life were with fellow students at Franciscan. One of my best friends there introduced me to my spouse of three years! But it did take a while! So have hope, and don’t allow your soul and spirit to be controlled by your emotions. You have control over them, with Our Lord’s and Mary’s help.

Sorry this is so long! I hope you can get through it!

 

[Jenlyn]

Glad to here things are going better!

In regards to dealing with groups, just “fake it 'til you make it!” Or so the saying goes.

 

[Peace-bwu]

ncjohn:

Consider me praying!

Don’t pray for them to think too much like you though. It’s really in being challenged by those who don’t think exactly like you that you come to examine what you think you believe and find out what you really believe. When it comes to faith, ownership is everything. You can’t live out of anyone else’s faith.

Good luck finding your soulmate. Don’t spend too much time looking though. As my son found through his own experience, when he stopped looking, God sent him the one he didn’t know he was looking for. They’ll celebrate their 5th anniversary in January. :clapping:

This post says everything I wanted to say! So I won’t ditto this post. This is good advice. Pray for God to help you find the person you are supposed to marry and know that it will happen when it is God’s will. Maybe you are supposed to learn how to find some balance with being “yourself” yet more confident in your social skills.

Try not to worry too much about conforming. There are many people who enjoy the company of someone who is a little more unique. Just be yourself and know that a girl can detect when a guy is faking his personality. If a girl doesn’t like you for who you truly are, then she isn’t “the one” for you. Remember that God wants you to be the man he designed you to be for the sake of the young woman too. Focus on seeing Christ in the faces of everyone you meet.

My husband and I are each other’s very best friends, everything spouses shoud be. He is amazing, and I didn’t go out seeking him. I was focusing on being the best “me” I could be, and he fell in love with that. We are the kind of people who would do anything for a friend. We always give to those around us a giving and unselfish friendship, but it is rarely returned, in fact we have had our share of betrayal from “friends.” We have come to the realization recently that God gave us such a close relationship because we are often called to be a friend, rather than to have that friendship returned. Does that make sense?

I tell myself that everyone I come into contact with should be treated with the love of Christ. When you carry the Cross in your life, you will only find a few true friends, like Christ you will be betrayed. Continue to pray for a few good friends and just focus on showing everyone you come in contact with the love of Jesus. Close friends will come with time after people get to know you. Put all your trust in Christ and you won’t suffer such a blow when a human lets you down occasionally.

God Bless You, I have had my fair share of social anxiety, and so has my husband. Ours stems from being betrayed by friends, but we have a new perspective on that.

 

[Peace-bwu]

If you need a “pick me up” watch the movie *Hitch. *You can also learn some great dance moves…like “SLOOOW Thriller” The Lighthouse, and “Nauseous Crazy White Guy.” (if you watch the bonus footage.) Sarcasm here, but it will make you laugh!

My best advice for meeting truly good friends on any college campus is to volunteer for some programs or clubs that you feel truly passionate about, and you will meet people with the same interests, even if you don’t meet any friends, you will be spending your time doing something that will get your mind off your woes.

 

[Peace-bwu]

Peace-bwu:

This post says everything I wanted to say! So I won’t ditto this post. This is good advice. Pray for God to help you find the person you are supposed to marry and know that it will happen when it is God’s will. Maybe you are supposed to learn how to find some balance with being “yourself” yet more confident in your social skills.

Try not to worry too much about conforming. There are many people who enjoy the company of someone who is a little more unique. Just be yourself and know that a girl can detect when a guy is faking his personality. If a girl doesn’t like you for who you truly are, then she isn’t “the one” for you. Remember that God wants you to be the man he designed you to be for the sake of the young woman too. Focus on seeing Christ in the faces of everyone you meet.

My husband and I are each other’s very best friends, everything spouses shoud be. He is amazing, and I didn’t go out seeking him. I was focusing on being the best “me” I could be, and he fell in love with that. We are the kind of people who would do anything for a friend. We always give to those around us a giving and unselfish friendship, but it is rarely returned, in fact we have had our share of betrayal from “friends.” We have come to the realization recently that God gave us such a close relationship because we are often called to be a friend, rather than to have that friendship returned. Does that make sense?

I tell myself that everyone I come into contact with should be treated with the love of Christ. When you carry the Cross in your life, you will only find a few true friends, like Christ you will be betrayed. from time to time. everyone you come in contact with the love of Jesus. Close friends will come with time after people get to know you. Put all your trust in Christ and you won’t suffer such a blow when a human lets you down occasionally.

God Bless You, I have had my fair share of social anxiety, and so has my husband. Ours stems from being betrayed by friends, but we have a new perspective on that.

 

[LSK]

Madaglan:

I was just wondering, however, if people here could pray for me on a few things. For one, I am very very shy, and since most Catholics (and most people in general) tend to be extroverted, I have run into several situations which I wish were otherwise. Being shy (indeed, socially anxious) isn’t good for a guy, and I have suffered much loneliness and deep pain these past few days, and I do hope that I meet someone who can be my soul mate. For example, there was this huge dance where all the incoming freshman and graduate students partied. Being quite shy (and having my back locked up because of back problems) I couldn’t dance, although I really wanted to. I nearly ran out of the dance hall because of the pain and went to pray before the Eucharist. I wish I didn’t have to do that.
.

I, too, suffered for years because of shyness. People thought I was being a snotty, conceited girl…I was actually terrified that I would say or do the wrong thing.
Someone very wise suggested I approach every social interaction with the intent to make the OTHER person feel at ease. In other words, to start taking small actions when interacting with others that would be charitable acts and add to the overall atmosphere.

It was a practical way to start ‘thinking of others’ instead of being so intensely concerned with whether I would do or say the wrong thing.

I still occasionally do or say the wrong thing, but at least I no longer suffer like crazy with the “what if”, the “if only” or the “why did I do that” questions.

Congratualtions and good luck!