C
CarolNoel
Guest
All I can offer is my prayers for you and your family. God Bless.
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R
rcianon
Guest
Hello Sunstone. First off, welcome to the Catholic faith! I joined the Catholic Church at Easter vigil 2014.
A little background. I am an ex-Mormon Catholic, my wife is a TBM (true-believing Mormon). When she realised I no longer believed Joseph’s myth she was deeply hurt and concerned that I’d try to force her to leave the church she grew up in and completely believed in. I probably don’t have to tell you that Mormonism is an identity as much as it is a religion.
Over the past few years things have gotten a lot better. We both work hard to be supportive of each others choice and outside of this issue our marriage is fantastic.
That being said, I have made incrimental steps towards converting my wife & children. Currently I read the Bible to my children & wife each night and then explain how it all relates back to Jesus. This is important for Mormons to see, it helps them realise that the God of the Bible is not the Mormon god. I also recently starting taking my children to Mass half the time with my wifes approval and have opened up the dialogue of having our children baptised. I have also throughly demolished the ‘Jesus is not God but only our elder brother’ myth of Mormon teaching. I am hopeful that in a few years more time my wife will joyfully convert.
So how did I get this far? Patience, strategy and love. What do I mean by strategy? Do not be the sterotype your wife would expect you to be. Yes, we can responsibly drink alcohol freely in Christ but if you go out and get drunk you sin and also confirm your wifes fears. Don’t just become a whole new person overnight, this will alleviate her concern. Also make sure she knows, really knows, that this does not change how you feel about her. Keep up with whatever religious practices you did before, but as a Catholic now. I still have fammily home evening, but the lessons are about, trusting Jesus, trusting His word, etc. and not about following a prophet.
Okay then so patience and love. My best advice is to not browbeat your wife or kids, do not take away their faith but rather add to it. If you go online you’ll easily find dozens of ex-Mormon websites. One strong commonality between them all is the plethora of atheists in the ex-Mormon ranks. This is partly because Mormons hold strong to the ‘if the LDS church is not true then nothing is true’ mantra but more often it is actually because of how and why Mormons leave their church.
With the dawn of the internet the average Mormon now has access to an enormous amount of evidence to the falseness of their claims. This is described by internet ex-Mormons as ‘the shelf collapsing’. Evidence contrary to Joseph’s myth builds up and builds up until their shelf cracks and collapses into atheism. Many of them are so hurt emotionally by the idea of being lied to all their lives that they build up a wall against believing anything to protect themselves. So don’t stack things on your families shelf. Don’t tear down their faith but rather redirect it.
How is this done practically? Celebrate a mutual love of Jesus. Show them through example that Jesus is everyting to you. Show them how much bigger Jesus is than they are taught. Last Sunday the readings at Mass were from Job 38:1, 8-11 and Mark 4:35-41. Go back and read that. Job is questioning his situation and God basically says, ‘did you create the earth? can you guide the stars in their paths? can you control the wind? obviously no, but I can because I created it all’, then in Mark we see Jesus doing just that, calming the storm, controlling the wind. Just over and over we see in the Bible how Jesus is God. He is bigger than Mromon-jesus.
It takes a lot of time but if you slowly and patiently turn your wifes faith from Joseph’s myth and towards Christ, all the while praying and asking the saints to interceed, you will eventually see fruits of your efforts.
Finally remember that it is the Holy Spirit who changes hearts, not us. That is His job not yours. Your job is to love your wife and children and to speak truth and love into their lives. He will do the rest.
One last thought: Paul wrote that famous marriage passage that is actually more applicable here; “If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing”. Plus the rest of 1 Corinthians chapter 13 but you get the point.
If you have any other questions feel free to ask or email me directly.
A little background. I am an ex-Mormon Catholic, my wife is a TBM (true-believing Mormon). When she realised I no longer believed Joseph’s myth she was deeply hurt and concerned that I’d try to force her to leave the church she grew up in and completely believed in. I probably don’t have to tell you that Mormonism is an identity as much as it is a religion.
Over the past few years things have gotten a lot better. We both work hard to be supportive of each others choice and outside of this issue our marriage is fantastic.
That being said, I have made incrimental steps towards converting my wife & children. Currently I read the Bible to my children & wife each night and then explain how it all relates back to Jesus. This is important for Mormons to see, it helps them realise that the God of the Bible is not the Mormon god. I also recently starting taking my children to Mass half the time with my wifes approval and have opened up the dialogue of having our children baptised. I have also throughly demolished the ‘Jesus is not God but only our elder brother’ myth of Mormon teaching. I am hopeful that in a few years more time my wife will joyfully convert.
So how did I get this far? Patience, strategy and love. What do I mean by strategy? Do not be the sterotype your wife would expect you to be. Yes, we can responsibly drink alcohol freely in Christ but if you go out and get drunk you sin and also confirm your wifes fears. Don’t just become a whole new person overnight, this will alleviate her concern. Also make sure she knows, really knows, that this does not change how you feel about her. Keep up with whatever religious practices you did before, but as a Catholic now. I still have fammily home evening, but the lessons are about, trusting Jesus, trusting His word, etc. and not about following a prophet.
Okay then so patience and love. My best advice is to not browbeat your wife or kids, do not take away their faith but rather add to it. If you go online you’ll easily find dozens of ex-Mormon websites. One strong commonality between them all is the plethora of atheists in the ex-Mormon ranks. This is partly because Mormons hold strong to the ‘if the LDS church is not true then nothing is true’ mantra but more often it is actually because of how and why Mormons leave their church.
With the dawn of the internet the average Mormon now has access to an enormous amount of evidence to the falseness of their claims. This is described by internet ex-Mormons as ‘the shelf collapsing’. Evidence contrary to Joseph’s myth builds up and builds up until their shelf cracks and collapses into atheism. Many of them are so hurt emotionally by the idea of being lied to all their lives that they build up a wall against believing anything to protect themselves. So don’t stack things on your families shelf. Don’t tear down their faith but rather redirect it.
How is this done practically? Celebrate a mutual love of Jesus. Show them through example that Jesus is everyting to you. Show them how much bigger Jesus is than they are taught. Last Sunday the readings at Mass were from Job 38:1, 8-11 and Mark 4:35-41. Go back and read that. Job is questioning his situation and God basically says, ‘did you create the earth? can you guide the stars in their paths? can you control the wind? obviously no, but I can because I created it all’, then in Mark we see Jesus doing just that, calming the storm, controlling the wind. Just over and over we see in the Bible how Jesus is God. He is bigger than Mromon-jesus.
It takes a lot of time but if you slowly and patiently turn your wifes faith from Joseph’s myth and towards Christ, all the while praying and asking the saints to interceed, you will eventually see fruits of your efforts.
Finally remember that it is the Holy Spirit who changes hearts, not us. That is His job not yours. Your job is to love your wife and children and to speak truth and love into their lives. He will do the rest.
One last thought: Paul wrote that famous marriage passage that is actually more applicable here; “If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing”. Plus the rest of 1 Corinthians chapter 13 but you get the point.
If you have any other questions feel free to ask or email me directly.
T
Try2BeHumble
Guest
Hello Sunstone,
Thank you for posting and welcome to the Catholic Church! I know your situation is tough but please know I will pray for you and your family. As far as advice I agree with what everyone else said, pray, show love and I would add pray the Rosary our blessed mother can intercede for us. I would add to be patient and allow God’s will and timing to play out. Don’t force your views but try to find common ground and let your family know that it’s okay to disagree and ask questions. It sounds like God and the Holy Spirit were talking to you and hopefully your family will listen to the Holy Spirit and become more open.
Prayer is so important. One of my best friends became Mormon during college as a cradle Catholic I had a hard time with that and tried to discuss our differences. She had already made up her mind and through lots of prayer we now focus on our love of Jesus. God spoke to me during this time and said that he was shaping mine and my friends hearts. Remember that your wife and son’s heart may not be ready yet but God hears our prayers and his timing is perfect.
If you don’t mind me asking what is the Stake High Council?
K
KathleenGee
Guest
God bless you, Sunstone. I remember your comments and inquiries…
Marie gave you good advice.
My former spiritual director always said detachment is a good spiritual practice…learn to grow in His will.
Marie gave you good advice.
My former spiritual director always said detachment is a good spiritual practice…learn to grow in His will.
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