I'm Bisexual. How do I reconcile that with my faith?

  • Thread starter Thread starter scapularkid8
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
Or rather, how can my faith help me understand why God created me this way? I’m not actively engaged with a relationship of either a male or a female at this point in time, but I’m inclined to do so for either gender.

How is this handled? What does The Church say about individuals with my condition?

(This is a sensitive topic for me)
God did NOT make you to love homosexually; that is a perversion of reality.

“For this reason God gave them over to degrading passions; for their women exchanged the natural function for that which is unnatural, and in the same way also the men abandoned the natural function of the woman and burned in their lusts toward one another, men with men committing indecent acts and receiving in their own persons the due penalty of their error.” Romans 1:26

It is the lust of the flesh - which is not of the your Heavenly Father -, which directs you towards the destruction imminent.

“For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh and the lust of the eyes and the boastful pride of life, is not from the Father, but is from the world.” 1 John 2:16

“And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect.” Romans 12:2

" Sanctify them in the truth; Your word is truth." John 17:17

So, you will be transformed and sanctified through the renewing of your mind by knowing the truth that comes from the Father - instead of being conformed to the world, from which come the very ideas which lead you into inordinately lusting in your flesh after same-sex. It is not clean; it is not true; it is not holy, but a perversion to chase after these lusts.
That being said, homosexuality is a sin to be repented of - but just so you don’t feel I am beating you over the head (because many times the devil causes people to take a “victim” disposition) even heterosexuals are told that “liars, fornicators, thieves, adulterers,” etc., will not inherit the Kingdom of God. 1 Cor 6:9 And why do you repent of sins? Two-fold: fear, but also love of Jesus Christ. If you were filled with the love of the Father, you wouldn’t entertain these thoughts.
God brought Israel out of Egypt - but only so that He may have brought them INTO the Promised Land. It is not good enough to simply try to “stop sinning” but yet fall short of entering into the Promise - relationship with God.

Simple: renounce the spirit of lust, homosexuality, perversion, error, jezebel, control, manipulation, bitterness, anger.
This is a spirit feeding you these thoughts.
 
Or rather, how can my faith help me understand why God created me this way? I’m not actively engaged with a relationship of either a male or a female at this point in time, but I’m inclined to do so for either gender.

How is this handled? What does The Church say about individuals with my condition?

(This is a sensitive topic for me)
I would just encourage you to read and study from both sides of the issue and then pray that Our Lord lead you and guide you in truth. Go before the Blessed Sacrament and entrust your needs and intentions to our Blessed Mother. As a gay Catholic, I know very well what you are going through. For myself, I have come to believe that my sexuality is simply a part of the wonderful diversity of God’s creation. I know it’s such a major issue these days, but sometimes I think folks, especially us GLBT folks, focus too much on our sexuality. I believe we should praise and thank God for the gifts of who we are and then get on with the work of spreading the Good News. That’s just my two cents but please feel free to PM if you want to talk about it and i’ll pray for you. God bless! 👋
 
Or rather, how can my faith help me understand why God created me this way? I’m not actively engaged with a relationship of either a male or a female at this point in time, but I’m inclined to do so for either gender.

How is this handled? What does The Church say about individuals with my condition?

(This is a sensitive topic for me)
Scapularkid8,
for starters you must realize that God did not make you this way and if you really look at it It makes sense. How can God make a person who will sin ( or turn away) from Him? We are all born with sinful tendencies because of the fact that our ancestors were sinners… Look at the story of Adam and Eve, they were created in God’s image and were therefore good because of that. But they chose to disobey God and they(and their descendants) became sinners
For as by one man’s disobedience many were made sinners,so by the obedience of one shall many be made righteous.” Romans 5:19
That it why we’re all born with sinful tendencies but if you look at the 2nd part of the verse there is hope because Jesus died for our sins through His obedience.
"And being found in fashion as a man, he humbled himself, and became obedient to death, even the death of the cross."Philippians 2:8
Through the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ ( the ultimate expression of Love) we know have the hope of eternal life if we put to death our sins and live in Christ.

“For if you are living according to the flesh, you must die; but if by the Spirit you are putting to death the deeds of the body, you will live.” Romans 8:13

So in summary we all ( even myself included, even though I might not be struggling with the same sin as you) struggle with these sins that our flesh wants us to do, but that we know is not in accordance with Christ through the Holy Spirit that dwells in each of us. But don’t despair my brother:
**“No temptation has overtaken you that is unusual for human beings. But God is faithful, and he will not allow you to be tempted beyond your strength. Instead, along with the temptation he will also provide a way out, so that you may be able to endure it.”**1 Corinthians 10:13
We are blessed with many ways out, we have the gifts of the Holy Spirit. We have The entire Church, the community of Saints, our Mother Mary who pray to Christ for us all the time. This struggle with sin is hard, but not impossible to overcome.
My suggestion for you would be to go to frequent confession, to pray daily (general prayers, just talking to the Lord or even praying the rosary>>> which I must say has helped me through my own struggles) and to ask for help from those around you ( family,friends, talk to your parish priest perhaps…)
You are not alone brother, I will be praying for you that you find peace, joy and comfort in our Lord Jesus Christ.

Your brother in Christ,
Zachary
 
…But He did make me a lover of both sexes in the sexual sense. ***God who is pure Love could not go against His wish that sexual relationships be for the marital relationship of a MAN and a WOMAN. Sexual relationships are NOT for a man and man or a woman and woman, or man and woman and man. Have you not heard of the word “deception from that, that comes dressed as the lamb but is the wolf in disguised”! Jesus wrote it, you need to look at it understand it relate to it seek guidance from a priest about it to understand. ***

Sexual feelings doesn’t necessarily mean I just see or know someone and think “I want to have intercourse with them”, it’s a feeling I’m sure you all know deep in the pit of yourself like a fire. One that must be controlled, I understand. I can’t help what I feel, and I know that it’s sexual feelings.

I don’t understand what you mean by saying this because I do feel sexual feelings towards both men and women. it’s an “I want to kiss him.” There’s attraction.

***Up until the beginning of this week I had a VERY strong strong sexual feeling which I found very hard to control (this is where you are it seems), where I wanted to relate to my wife often and it became so over powering, my wife noticed it and I noticed it.

All I could do was to get on my knees and pray. You might say I have done that, well in my case I gave the whole situation up to God and it was hard because of the strong feelings for this relationship, I needed to kiss her and more. Know what I mean, I believe you do, it probably is the same in a sense (sexually that is).
Here is the hitch though I LET GO of the feelings, gave them up to God told Him I could NOT get through this on my own it was TOO strong for me by my self. Have you done this?
You ask what I mean by writing what I did, well it is plain and TRUTH that the feelings of enjoyment for each other are a GOD given common relationship of both sexes. However to allow (and that is what it is), yourself to come into thinking, feeling that you can allow yourself to think and relate sexually towards both sexes falls into the category of “Sodom and Gomorrah”
You the same as I do not own our bodies God made them and back to Him will they go for judgment as to what you did with them.***

Please, I hope it doesn’t sound like I baited you with this reply, but I guess I’m just confused as to what you mean right there because God did make me to feel strongly toward both genders and I don’t understand why I’m being told He didn’t make me that way when, clearly, He did. :confused:
God may have made you with feelings towards both sexes in the sense of enjoying both companies, the same as He has most people, however God DID NOT give you or any other person sexual promiscuity. Jesus tells us in the bible that it is NOT to act upon the thought that causes a person to fall, no, but to THINK the thought, that is what causes a person to fall.
Humanness (satin) is the only one who will give people the thought that they have the right to love both sexes sexually. Now could you answer this, I LET GO of the so strong feelings I had, got on my knees gave them up to God, told Him I could NOT get through this on my own, it was TOO strong for me by my self. Have you done this? You might have a battle doing it but keep on, if you have a battle then you have come up against opposition, (satin)


You can win as I have, I have just last night gained my freedom to love controllably. you can be the same.

Godbless
 
When I came to God, I asked Him to change my desires, because I knew that only He could make me in right standing with Him; I honored His standard by saying that I acknowledged it - but could not reach it. I was in drugs and some occultism, but God changed the desires of my heart, so that I did not so much as desire to do the drugs any more; moreover, masturbation was quickly relinquished because the love of God was so worth so much more to me. Give glory to God by acknowledging His standard, but recognize that you, in your humanity, cannot reach that standard of holiness on your own, asking Him to make the changes in you, because He is fair, and wouldn’t demand of you something you couldn’t do - if He weren’t the Agent who would then supplement you with the ability, and He will change you.

I just said, “God, I don’t wanna go to hell! Change me inside, change my desires, so that I don’t even desire to do wrong anymore.”
I should actually pray that again.
 
When I came to God, I asked Him to change my desires, because I knew that only He could make me in right standing with Him; I honored His standard by saying that I acknowledged it - but could not reach it. I was in drugs and some occultism, but God changed the desires of my heart, so that I did not so much as desire to do the drugs any more; moreover, masturbation was quickly relinquished because the love of God was so worth so much more to me. Give glory to God by acknowledging His standard, but recognize that you, in your humanity, cannot reach that standard of holiness on your own, asking Him to make the changes in you, because He is fair, and wouldn’t demand of you something you couldn’t do - if He weren’t the Agent who would then supplement you with the ability, and He will change you.

I just said, “God, I don’t wanna go to hell! Change me inside, change my desires, so that I don’t even desire to do wrong anymore.”
I should actually pray that again.
By asking God to change you, you are already on the right road. It would be an excellent idea to pray that each day. 🙂
 
My apologies, dan1el. I thought you were the OP. Oi, just goes to show how stupid I can be at time. 😦
 

Humanness (satin) is the only one who will give people the thought that they have the right to love both sexes sexually. Now could you answer this, I LET GO of the so strong feelings I had, got on my knees gave them up to God, told Him I could NOT get through this on my own, it was TOO strong for me by my self. Have you done this? You might have a battle doing it but keep on, if you have a battle then you have come up against opposition, (satin)***
I don’t think I have the right to love a man sexually like I could love a woman. Never would I think that. At times I might want it, but I don’t and never could believe that I could unbind what God has made in sexual love between men and women. I think you misunderstand me.

I will also respectfully disagree with you on the point that one can just “let go” of these feelings. I have tried that. I’ve been suicidal over this in the past because I hated how I was attracted to other boys my age. I have been praying for an answer to this for years now, and I have finally gotten that answer. I am at peace as a creation of God knowing that I have been given this cross. It’s not a handicap and it’s not a demon tricking my mind. In fact, I find it somewhat insulting that I am being told repeatedly on here that is what it is. I’m not looking for attention by posting this thread, I just wanted guidance. A Christian is supposed to help his brother carry his cross no matter what it is, not tell him to drop it and turn away. :mad: God loves me how I am.

“And God saw everything that he had made, and behold, it was very good.” Gen 1:31

"After this I looked, and behold, a great multitude which no man could number, from every nation, from all tribes and peoples and tongues, standing before the throne and before the Lamb, clothed in white robes, with palm branches in their hands, and crying out with a loud voice, “Salvation belongs to our God who sits upon the throne, and to the Lamb!” Rev 7:9&10
 
I remember having a crush on a guy I was working with and I was walking home one day and ran into him. He asked if I wanted to go for 10 cent taps at a local bar, I said, sure, why not? We did a lot of talking, laughing, work talk, real life talk, and then the surprise drops, he told me he was gay. I had a few homosexual friends back then and I know the ol’ slogan, hate the sin, not the sinner.

I need to keep that in mind with the few I still have some contact with that are in the NAM. I don’t hate them, I hate the NAM. I was a big part of the NAM and being so dumb but I know now it was all wrong. I agree, going to confession, telling the priest all that’s on your mind about it, your struggles… and to copy that ol’ phrase; what would Jesus do? What would He want you to do?

Praying for you and God bless
 
***God may have made you with feelings towards both sexes in the sense of enjoying both companies, the same as He has most people, however God DID NOT give you or any other person sexual promiscuity. ***

The OP didn’t mention being promiscuous, but rather having sexual attraction to people of both sexes. Wanting to be close to someone sexually (whether or not you act on it) and wanting to be someone’s friend are quite different!
 
I don’t think I have the right to love a man sexually like I could love a woman. Never would I think that. At times I might want it, but I don’t and never could believe that I could unbind what God has made in sexual love between men and women. I think you misunderstand me.

I will also respectfully disagree with you on the point that one can just “let go” of these feelings. I have tried that. I’ve been suicidal over this in the past because I hated how I was attracted to other boys my age. I have been praying for an answer to this for years now, and I have finally gotten that answer. I am at peace as a creation of God knowing that I have been given this cross. It’s not a handicap and it’s not a demon tricking my mind. In fact, I find it somewhat insulting that I am being told repeatedly on here that is what it is. I’m not looking for attention by posting this thread, I just wanted guidance. A Christian is supposed to help his brother carry his cross no matter what it is, not tell him to drop it and turn away. :mad: God loves me how I am.

“And God saw everything that he had made, and behold, it was very good.” Gen 1:31

"After this I looked, and behold, a great multitude which no man could number, from every nation, from all tribes and peoples and tongues, standing before the throne and before the Lamb, clothed in white robes, with palm branches in their hands, and crying out with a loud voice, “Salvation belongs to our God who sits upon the throne, and to the Lamb!” Rev 7:9&10
My brother, if you a demon of suicide comes to you, you can simply say, “In the name of Jesus, I will not allow you in me, in the Kingdom of Heaven. Leave, in Jesus’ name!”
Homosexuality IS a spirit. If you are saying that your nature is homosexual, but you’re not going to act on it, then what you are actually saying is that the Spirit of God is homosexual, because the nature that you have within you is the nature of the Spirit of God; which is why it says not to conform to the world’s way of thinking, but to be renewed in your mind according to the word (advice and counsel) of the Scriptures - which are given by the Spirit of God, the nature which you now possess, which I garauntee you, is NOT homosexual. When He expressed Himself, He made man and woman; never intending men to lie together. It does mention, however, that we are taught certain things so that we would not even have inordinate desires. Don’t believe the words that the world speaks: “it’s okay, that’s the way God made me; you should love me this way, cause that’s the way God made me.” God didn’t make you that way; He isn’t the Author of sin, you need to repent (change your mind) and receive the grace of God unto obedience of your faith. However, whether you do or don’t, I understand that you are not my slave, but God’s, and that it is Him who is working in you to will and do His good pleasure, and that He will be faithful to perform the work that He has begun in you until the Day of Christ. God bless.
 
I don’t think I have the right to love a man sexually like I could love a woman. **i have a friend who is homosexual but he wishes to live that way and I will only be a friend, he needs to know that I care even though. And i do and I also put up with the vulgarity at times. But you are different and God bless you. Sorry if I took your wording wrongly. **

Never would I think that. At times I might want it, but I don’t and never could believe that I could unbind what God has made in sexual love between men and women. I think you misunderstand me.Seems so , sorry.

I will also respectfully disagree with you on the point that one can just “let go” of these feelings. ***i am a no muck around person, cold turkey is my way for me, not pushing you though.I have had to “let go of pasts” and it has not been easy. Sexual responses is always hard and it took a long time (years) for me to change.
My encyclopedias I bought for my ten years study and $30,000 thrown in the drain.
A house i built for our children s fun,(after marriage breakup), had to let go of, i know it’s not easy. But I know the truth and Jesus tells us that the “Truth” setts us free, it is the compelling part that led me to know I had to let go of thought patterns that do not create an even flow of life for me. ***

A Christian is supposed to help his brother carry his cross no matter what it is,
***My wife has a son who will not do anything to help in the house, he will not go to school, he uses four lettered words to cause his mother to give cigarettes to him, now going onto smoking dace. Am i supposed to accept that, or to love him regardless, but not accept the sin? God loves him however God created the ten commandments to be with held Jesus loved to the end, God loved Abraham, even though he went to bed with a maid, now i think this is what you are saying that although you relate the way you do, and you think the way you do, you might tell me that I am BOUND to still love and accept regardless.
Sure, love the sinner not the sin. But what if you know you are sinning there is a different clause in the bible here!

I have a workmate who uses four lettered words at any person, the tells me (when he sees a woman) that she’s hot etc etc, am I supposed to accept that. From what you are saying I am. I would like to know, please, maybe I have missed something.
***.

You cannot tell him to drop it and turn away. :mad: God loves me how I am. Sure but does He love your actions? ( you don’t have to answer) If in front of God you can say that how you relate is good, God loving, Truth about how God wishes us to live, then that is all that mattered. You owe no person anything then. Godbless
 
This is a difficult cross to bear. Part of me wants to ask, Are you truly “bisexual” or have you simply had sexual experiences with both men and women? The other part of me wants to run as far from that question as possible. For one thing, it is not politically correct now days to even pose that question. But since I have put it out to you to think about–this is what I wonder.

I wonder if God created us male and female, how did he intend for us to develop our sexual awareness? Is it there at birth? Is it in our DNA? Or are we intended to develop our sexual awareness, desires, and orientation through our experience of family life, our experiences with the opposite sex as we mature, in relationship with our spouse?

What happens before, during and after puberty that influences how we perceive our sexuality? Can we have experiences in our childhood that will affect how we develop our sexual attractions? If God created us male and female and told us to be fruitful and multiply, where does same-sex attraction fit in?

What I know is that God created you, God loves you with an everlasting love, and God desires to bring you into Union within the Holy Trinity. Ultimately, our sexuality which is necessary to be fruitful and multiply in this world will be unnecessary in the next where we neither marry or are given in marriage but live like the angels.

My recommendation is that you live chastely for a time, while you develop a close relationship with the Holy Trinity. Ask the Lord to form your sexuality in line with His Will and Purpose. This is a prayer that all Catholics need to pray.

May God bless you and forever hold you in His Perfect Love!
BC
 
I’m bisexual also. I’ve been looking through the Church doctrine, as my parents are struggling to understand. It seems we can either accept the Church’s teachings about homosexuality (that it is “intrinsically disordered”) and decide to deny half of ourselves as some sort of offering to this God, or we can realize that the Church hasn’t caught up with what we know about human sexuality.

The actual doctrine of the Church says to accept and respect the glbt community and our rights. The Church does not practice what it preaches (as in, encouraging members to give large financial donations to political organizations lobbying to single out the gay community and take some of our civil rights).

This isn’t a religious quote… but it’s something you might want to consider, “No Self Respecting Woman Should Wish or Work for the Success of a Party That Ignores Her Sex.” Change sex with sexual orientation… Please know that there are sects of the Catholic Church that split with Rome on this issue. There are Churches which are open & affirming. You don’t have to put up with hate & bigotry just to practice your faith. Best of luck to you on your journey, whatever you decide! 🙂
 
I’m bisexual also. I’ve been looking through the Church doctrine, as my parents are struggling to understand. It seems we can either accept the Church’s teachings about homosexuality (that it is “intrinsically disordered”) and decide to deny half of ourselves as some sort of offering to this God, or we can realize that the Church hasn’t caught up with what we know about human sexuality.
As a heterosexual woman, my sexuality does not give me any right to pursue a sexual relationship outside of marriage. The same is true for homosexuals and bisexuals.
The actual doctrine of the Church says to accept and respect the glbt community and our rights. The Church does not practice what it preaches (as in, encouraging members to give large financial donations to political organizations lobbying to single out the gay community and take some of our civil rights).
What rights are you referring to?
This isn’t a religious quote… but it’s something you might want to consider, “No Self Respecting Woman Should Wish or Work for the Success of a Party That Ignores Her Sex.” Change sex with sexual orientation… Please know that there are sects of the Catholic Church that split with Rome on this issue. There are Churches which are open & affirming. You don’t have to put up with hate & bigotry just to practice your faith. Best of luck to you on your journey, whatever you decide! 🙂
There are sects that have split with the Church anytime there is a rule not to their liking. These rules were not invented by the Church, they come from God Himself. To call what the Church teaches “hate & bigotry” is hateful and bigoted on your part.
 
I am heterosexual, but this does not mean that males that appeal to me or I might be attracted to, I automatically begin to have sexual thoughts about and if I did, I am called by Baptism to not indulge them. The same applies no matter one’s sexual orientation, attraction. I must admit, however, being heterosexual, I really have no idea at all if homsexual and bisexual orientation people experience their sexuality as I do in a general sense …certainly I do not experience my heterosexuality as uncontrollable, dominated by sexual thoughts of the opposite sex.

Sometimes reading posts by other orientations other than heterosexual, it seems to be as if some of them must surely experience some sort of burning sexual desire beyond their volition, which they find uncontrollable. If this is the case, they are really in need of therapy and counselling … and no matter orientation. A heterosexual person with such driving uncontrollable sexuality would need therapy and counselling.

The Gospel hence The Church is very clear that sexual relations outside of valid marriage of a male and female is a disordering of our sexual nature and can be (not always) a very serious one. The same applies for all sexual orientations regardless. I dont think that The Gospel, nor the Church, are asking the impossible.
I found celibate chastity after 15 years of marriage a hard ask to face at least as a thought and it was a journey and not one I found impossible. Difficult but not impossible.

A part of normal maturing in the human being is control of one’s sexuality - and that may be a journey and God and hence The Church are merciful and understanding, compassionate.

Barb:)
 
My brother, if you a demon of suicide comes to you, you can simply say, “In the name of Jesus, I will not allow you in me, in the Kingdom of Heaven. Leave, in Jesus’ name!”
This is absolutely ridiculous. I’ve been suicidal and I prayed constantly for God to take the desire from me to end my life. It wasn’t an imp bouncing around that just crept into me. That’s offensive.
 
Or rather, how can my faith help me understand why God created me this way? I’m not actively engaged with a relationship of either a male or a female at this point in time, but I’m inclined to do so for either gender.

How is this handled? What does The Church say about individuals with my condition?

(This is a sensitive topic for me)
I have only just come across your posting and have not had time to read the responses and maybe others have said what I am about to say and in case they didn’t, heregoes. I have to dash and wanted to send this quickly.
  • Where you are male or female you would probably want a family.
  • The only to do this is by marriage
  • Marriage is between a man and a woman
  • You will have to decide at this point what you want to do
  • You cannot have it both ways
  • If you choose a family you will have to choose your future mate carefully
  • Once you have done that you will go forward into the future
  • You must pray that God will give you the grace to be strong
  • Try to attend daily Mass
  • Don’t give up!
Once you are in a loving relationship you must nuture your relationship. Marriage is not easy but it is worth the hard work. When you get to my age and your husband/wife walks in the door and your heart jumps it is wonderful. My husband and I have such a relationship and everybody envies us. I am heterosexual and don’t lust after other men. Why should you?

Nothing in life is easy. We all have to carry our cross. You have this cross. Carrying it and being faithful to the Lord is an opportunity for grace. If you persevere you will be blessed. Nobody in this world is free from trials and tribulations of some kind. It is the trials and tribulations that keep us focused on the Lord. If you are in pursuit of happiness stick to the faith. Don’t yield to temptation. Go to Confession frequently. Yours efforts will be rewarded.

🙂 🙂
When
 
This is absolutely ridiculous. I’ve been suicidal and I prayed constantly for God to take the desire from me to end my life. It wasn’t an imp bouncing around that just crept into me. That’s offensive.
Quoting ScapularKid:
I have been praying for an answer to this for years now, and I have finally gotten that answer. I am at peace as a creation of God knowing that I have been given this cross. It’s not a handicap and it’s not a demon tricking my mind.
You have an answer and the best of answers … You are at Peace and as a creation of God with your own particular cross. Be at Peace and rest in that… we all have our temptations and crosses only degree and nature vary and always there will those with less and those with more. We have great saints who fought all their lives with fiersome tempers, some even with temptations against purity. We are all tempted and we all fail somewhere and somehow.
And if the whole wide world does not understand the answer you have been given, let it be their problem alone - for it clearly is theirs alone and not yours.👍 Do not let others undermine nor allow yourself to be undermined. Trust in The Lord who has given you a most beautiful answer indeed.👍 The gift of Peace and of knowing oneself as created and loved by God is the very best gift of all…and each of us has our own particular cross or crosses in life - and an honor and gift to be thus burdened sharing in the Passion of The Lord.

Barb:)
Most often when people speak of Satan and being tempted by that thing, do not mean at all that one is possessed by it which is another matter entirely and absolutely. We are all tempted by Satan - sometimes hard to know for sure who, what and when…but we can all be assured that Satan puts its two pennies worth in at times.
Dont be perturbed either by inferred name calling by others or suggestions of impairment or handicap. I suffer Bipolar and I am not mentally ill. I am Barb!!! 👍 You are ScapularKid!!! We are all unique and different and it is this world and those guided by this world and its values that will attach derogatory terms and names that are put downs of others whether they intend it or nay.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top