I'm Catholic and wife is Pentecostal

[Claudius]

You’re a brave man posting this in the Traditional Catholicism forum

I believe that, as some have said, it is O.K. to go, as long you do not participate in the Protestant service, but just sit and watch. The way I see it, it can’t hurt to see what the “enemy” is up to - if you are strong and knowledgable enough in your faith, then you should be able to pick out and dismiss the heresy/blasphemy.

However, the “Traditional” view does take a more strict view on this issue (remember, the post V-II ecumenism is one of the SSPX’s remaining “beefs” with the Church), which is reflected well by some of the above posters - you shouldn’t go.

That is my :twocents: anyway. At the very least, you cannot participate in their “sacraments.” If they are anti-Catholic, too “out there” theologically, or follow a “Unitarian” view of God, I would recommend staying home.

I myself have no problem with the V-II council. I just wish the liberal Catholics would read the documents and not make things up about the council and what it taught that are not true. Being Catholic after the council should be the same as being Catholic before the council. We didn’t suddenly give in to divorce and condoms and birth control. Yah, some priest got wimpy in how they do Mass but that is not what the council said they should do.

 

[hoodrat]

I’m in the same exact situation, my husband is Pentecostal, actually his entire family are former Catholics who are now Pentecostal, e.g Uncle, Father,and Brother in law are pastors, and the rest are all involved in some way, whether worship team, or deacons.

It was only recently, within the past 5 months or so that I’ve been going to back to mass on a regular basis, and my Sunday’s are similar – I take my son with me to Mass at 9:30 then drive to his dad’s church at 11:00. However, my son’s starting to ask questions now, such as, “why don’t we just go to daddy’s church” or “why don’t you like daddy’s church? Daddy’s church is bad?”

I try to answer him as best as I can so that he can understand (he’s only 5), but I can already see the confusion I’m causing by having him go to two services. I don’t take him to his dad’s church every Sunday, but we go most of the time just to “show face.”

My husband is very open and will attend Mass with me every now and then, but claims he will never convert because 1. it would be equivalent to disowning his family; 2. Mass is “boring”, 3. and his famous line to which we always end up in long drawn out conversations – he asks, “Why does it matter what church we go to? It’s not about religion, it’s about God and I know where I stand, I stand with Jesus, so why does it matter?”

If anyone knows a good way to explain to a 5 year old the importance of going to Mass, I’d appreciate it.

 

[DebChris]

I’m in the same exact situation, my husband is Pentecostal, actually his entire family are former Catholics who are now Pentecostal, e.g Uncle, Father,and Brother in law are pastors, and the rest are all involved in some way, whether worship team, or deacons.

It was only recently, within the past 5 months or so that I’ve been going to back to mass on a regular basis, and my Sunday’s are similar – I take my son with me to Mass at 9:30 then drive to his dad’s church at 11:00. However, my son’s starting to ask questions now, such as, “why don’t we just go to daddy’s church” or “why don’t you like daddy’s church? Daddy’s church is bad?”

I try to answer him as best as I can so that he can understand (he’s only 5), but I can already see the confusion I’m causing by having him go to two services. I don’t take him to his dad’s church every Sunday, but we go most of the time just to “show face.”

My husband is very open and will attend Mass with me every now and then, but claims he will never convert because 1. it would be equivalent to disowning his family; 2. Mass is “boring”, 3. and his famous line to which we always end up in long drawn out conversations – he asks, “Why does it matter what church we go to? It’s not about religion, it’s about God and I know where I stand, I stand with Jesus, so why does it matter?”

If anyone knows a good way to explain to a 5 year old the importance of going to Mass, I’d appreciate it.

I think it is important to recognize first and foremost that God is present in both churches. God delights in our worship.
One of the things I found when attending services in other denominations is a lack of depth that I find through worship in the Catholic Church. It is moving, as St. Paul says, from being fed with milk to being fed with meat. Some people, as much as they love Jesus, are not quite ready for the meat that is served in Mass. They may not find it palatable. They instead see the Mass as ritualistic and “boring.” They do not see the connection between the Liturgy of the Word and the Liturgy of the Liturgy of the Eucharist. They do not understand the reality of God’s presence in the Sacraments.
What this comes down to is first acknowledging that your husband is trying to following Jesus Christ. Pentecostal churches grew out of mainstream churches that did not recognize the gifts of the Holy Spirit when they were manifested. The Catholic Church, on the other hand, embraces these gifts which are to be put into service. The Catholic Church is the Church founded by Jesus Christ and can trace its history to the original 12 Apostles. Disagreements arose between its family members. Family members do sometimes argue and don’t understand each other. Then these family members took sides, one taking sides with one family member and others with another. This type of strife is not what God expects from His children. He wants us together, as Jesus prayed “that all might be one.”
So, no, Daddy’s church is not bad. Daddy loves Jesus, and so do I. But when I go to Mass, II know that this is where God wants me to be. When I go to Mass, I hear God speak to me and I receive Him when I receive communion. During the Consecration, I see Jesus.
Maybe one way to look at it is like listening to music. There are different types of music. They are all good. There is a richness to classical music, the music of the great composers that I do not find in more contemporary music. I can like bluegrass, but I sit and listen more to Mozart.

This is an incomplete answer, but I hope it helps you find your own words… When speaking to a 5 year old, keep your answers simple.

 

[hoodrat]

So, no, Daddy’s church is not bad. Daddy loves Jesus, and so do I. But when I go to Mass, II know that this is where God wants me to be. When I go to Mass, I hear God speak to me and I receive Him when I receive communion. During the Consecration, I see Jesus.

yes! that’s exactly what I tell my son! But that only makes him ask me, “God doesn’t want you to go to Daddy’s church?”

So far, I’m respond by telling him God wants us to love Him and one way to tell Jesus 'I love You" is to go to church and that Daddy has one way, and I have another. And then I normally quickly talk about something else before he asks another question that I don’t know how to answer.

Perhaps I’m too worried about this, considering he’s only 5, but it’s still a topic that I get nervous about every Sunday since my son asks the same questions every week

 

[Sabda]

If I am not mistaken, the oneness movement denies the Trinity as we understand it to be, does it not? That would place them clearly outside of mainstream Christianity and in the past would have earned them the title of Heretics.

Of course we don’t use such judgemental phrases any longer but I am now more convinced then ever you have no business going any where around this group.

Yes, they do deny the Trinity. Basically what they believe is that Jesus is the Father, he is the Son and he is the Holy Spirit. They don’t believe that there are 3 Persons in one God. I participated in a big debate with some of them a while back. PhilVaz was also there and he did an excellent job covering the Trinity.

Oneness baptize according to what they believe is St. Paul’s command about being baptized in the name of the Lord, in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ. When I pointed out Jesus’ own command that he gave in regard to baptism they pretty much try to ignore it. Jesus was very clear on the name we are supposed to baptize in. This can be found at the end of Matthew in chapter 28. According to orthodox Christianity they are not validly baptized. So if the op wife every did decide to convert to Catholicism she would have to be baptized.

From Matthew 28:
16
8 The eleven 9 disciples went to Galilee, to the mountain to which Jesus had ordered them.
17
10 When they saw him, they worshiped, but they doubted.
18
11 Then Jesus approached and said to them, "All power in heaven and on earth has been given to me.
19
Go, therefore, 12 and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the holy Spirit, 20
teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. 13 And behold, I am with you always, until the end of the age."

 

[DebChris]

yes! that’s exactly what I tell my son! But that only makes him ask me, “God doesn’t want you to go to Daddy’s church?”

So far, I’m respond by telling him God wants us to love Him and one way to tell Jesus 'I love You" is to go to church and that Daddy has one way, and I have another. And then I normally quickly talk about something else before he asks another question that I don’t know how to answer.

Perhaps I’m too worried about this, considering he’s only 5, but it’s still a topic that I get nervous about every Sunday since my son asks the same questions every week

Five year olds can be pretty persistent. Relax, you do not need to tell him everything at once. There are some things that he needs to work out for himself, as difficult as it might be for us as parents to watch this struggle.
There are other threads within this forum about the Charismatic Renewal. One reason Catholics are attracted to Pentecostal churches is precisely because they see these gifts manifested. They are unaware of the manifestation of these gifts within the Catholic Church. They may know the stories of great saints who healed others or through whom God worked mighty miracles.
There are individuals who are Catholic, simply because their parents were Catholic, a similar struggle your husband appears to have with family members taking the roles they have within a pentecostal church.
When St. Monica was worried about her son, Augustine, she heard the Lord tell her, “Don’t talk to your son about me. Talk to me about your son.” God will give you the right words at the right time as you talk to your son and as you talk to your husband about the differences and similarities between faiths.
In the meantime, continue to grow in your own faith, in your own knowledge about what the Catholic Church teaches. It is this knowledge that will help you refute misconceptions.
It may be your son who leads your husband to the Catholic Church based on what he learns when he is old enough to begin Faith Formation, and learns more about the Catholic Church.

 

[Sabda]

yes! that’s exactly what I tell my son! But that only makes him ask me, “God doesn’t want you to go to Daddy’s church?”

So far, I’m respond by telling him God wants us to love Him and one way to tell Jesus 'I love You" is to go to church and that Daddy has one way, and I have another. And then I normally quickly talk about something else before he asks another question that I don’t know how to answer.

Perhaps I’m too worried about this, considering he’s only 5, but it’s still a topic that I get nervous about every Sunday since my son asks the same questions every week

I would recommend that you get your son some orthodox Catholic catechism materials and start teaching him what we believe. Start getting him grounded in his Catholic faith now. If he is asking questions than he is ready to learn. I use The New St. Joseph’s First Commion Catechism. This is in a very easy to understand question and answer format. There are a number of really good books that you could get to help him learn his faith at home. The Catholic Encyclopedia For Children is really good as it deals with the whole history of the Church from begining to end in an easy to understand format for children. The Protestant Reformation is also in there which is going to be important for your child to understand why there are so many different forms of Christian worship now. Also don’t forget to take it at his pace. As I’m sure you understand it’s very important for you to be grounded in your faith so you child can become grounded in his. Learn everything you can about what we believe. I recomend the Catholic Home Study Course, best part about this is that it is FREE! Also learn about your husband’s faith and what he believes.

 

[Contarini]

as far as i know the church is not ok with you attending the pentacostal services.

How far do you know? What official teaching is this opinion based on?

Vatican II explicitly called for joint prayer between separated Christian communities. I know that on a Traditional forum this may be unpopular, but it did happen.

Edwin

 

[palmas85]

How far do you know? What official teaching is this opinion based on?

Vatican II explicitly called for joint prayer between separated Christian communities. I know that on a Traditional forum this may be unpopular, but it did happen.

Edwin

I believe it said that praying together is OK. That is a lot different than attending their worship services. Particularly by attending them on a routine basis. The problem that can arise is that by associating closely with these groups you may be influenced by their beliefs and start to pull away from Catholicism Make no mistake my friend, once these people know that you are Catholic they will do everything possible to**“save” **you.

 

[DebChris]

As Catholics, we have devotional services outside of Mass.
For many denominations, their worship services are their only communal prayer times. Of course, I am not referring to individual prayer which can take place any time and any where.
Become familiar with scripture. The book Where is that in the Bible ? concerning Catholic teaching recommends carrying a Bible which you have specifically marked for discussions with non-Catholic denominations. They use the RSV since it is the one most often used by our non-Catholic brothers and sisters.
To answer the fundamentalist question, “Are you saved?” the answer is yes. I was saved 2,000 years ago and I continue to be saved each and everytime the Mass is celebrated anywhere in the world until the end of time.
If they push the “once saved, always saved” doctrine, ask what happens when a barrel of water is not refreshed. “It gets wigglers.” It grows stagnant. Salvation is a process, not a done deal. I am fed by the Eucharist each time I receive during Mass.
To the question, “Are you born again?” the answer is yes. I was reborn through my Baptism in which I became a child of God.
Basically, the more you know about your own faith, the less you need concern yourself with those who would “save you.” Salvation is a work of God, not humans.
The more you know about your own faith, the easier it is to refute misconceptions. My own experience has been the genuine surprise of those who discovering my Catholicism learned for the first time what the Catholic Church really teaches.
This opens the door to dialogue, encouraged by the pope.
People fear what they do not understand. The truth counters this fear. It opens the door to shared worship, in which members of the AME choir sing at a Catholic Revival.
How do you know that the life you live will not lead members of these other denominations to recipricate and accept your invitation to Mass?

In the case of husband and wife, you may indeed extend the invitation to Mass, with the words, I’ll come with you with you if you also attend Mass with me. You will be going to Mass prior to the other service anyway.

 

[palmas85]

As Catholics, we have devotional services outside of Mass.
For many denominations, their worship services are their only communal prayer times. Of course, I am not referring to individual prayer which can take place any time and any where.
Become familiar with scripture. The book Where is that in the Bible ? concerning Catholic teaching recommends carrying a Bible which you have specifically marked for discussions with non-Catholic denominations. They use the RSV since it is the one most often used by our non-Catholic brothers and sisters.
To answer the fundamentalist question, “Are you saved?” the answer is yes. I was saved 2,000 years ago and I continue to be saved each and everytime the Mass is celebrated anywhere in the world until the end of time.
If they push the “once saved, always saved” doctrine, ask what happens when a barrel of water is not refreshed. “It gets wigglers.” It grows stagnant. Salvation is a process, not a done deal. I am fed by the Eucharist each time I receive during Mass.
To the question, “Are you born again?” the answer is yes. I was reborn through my Baptism in which I became a child of God.
Basically, the more you know about your own faith, the less you need concern yourself with those who would “save you.” Salvation is a work of God, not humans.
The more you know about your own faith, the easier it is to refute misconceptions. My own experience has been the genuine surprise of those who discovering my Catholicism learned for the first time what the Catholic Church really teaches.
This opens the door to dialogue, encouraged by the pope.
People fear what they do not understand. The truth counters this fear. It opens the door to shared worship, in which members of the AME choir sing at a Catholic Revival.
How do you know that the life you live will not lead members of these other denominations to recipricate and accept your invitation to Mass?

In the case of husband and wife, you may indeed extend the invitation to Mass, with the words, I’ll come with you with you if you also attend Mass with me. You will be going to Mass prior to the other service anyway.

I agree in great part with what you have written here. Knowledge of the faith is essential in dealing with these various groups. They know their faith and know how to attack ours. Many of not most Catholics are so poorly educated in the faith that they are almost perfect prey for these groups,

I disagree with parts that you have written as well. The antipathy and out right hatred of Catholicism that many if not most of these people feel would keep most of them from attending anything even remotely Catholic.

While true there may be a few that would come check things out, I really don’t believe that many would.

While I hope that things will change, I am not terribly optimistic about it.

 

[Sabda]

I agree in great part with what you have written here. Knowledge of the faith is essential in dealing with these various groups. They know their faith and know how to attack ours. Many of not most Catholics are so poorly educated in the faith that they are almost perfect prey for these groups,

I disagree with parts that you have written as well. The antipathy and out right hatred of Catholicism that many if not most of these people feel would keep most of them from attending anything even remotely Catholic.

While true there may be a few that would come check things out, I really don’t believe that many would.

While I hope that things will change, I am not terribly optimistic about it.

Yep I agree, also many of these groups have the “the Catholic Church is the whore of Babylon, the Pope is the anti-Christ and we are all going to hell” belief. You have to get past that wall before you can get anywhere. Unfortunately “we” can not do that. Only the Holy Spirit can do that.

 

[DebChris]

I agree in great part with what you have written here. Knowledge of the faith is essential in dealing with these various groups. They know their faith and know how to attack ours. Many of not most Catholics are so poorly educated in the faith that they are almost perfect prey for these groups,

I disagree with parts that you have written as well. The antipathy and out right hatred of Catholicism that many if not most of these people feel would keep most of them from attending anything even remotely Catholic.

While true there may be a few that would come check things out, I really don’t believe that many would.

While I hope that things will change, I am not terribly optimistic about it.

I can only speak from my own experience, from those whose view of the Catholic Church changed simply from their knowing me.

On the other hand, the person who invited me to her Pentecostal Oneness church did refuse my invitation to attend Mass. I know what it is like to be hounded. I only went to her service once. There was enough that was troubling, as mentioned in this thread and others, to keep me from returning. She was a new convert herself, which may be a reason for her zeal and she used a more knowledgeable friend to help in the process. We shared a barracks which made avoidance difficulty. She noticed when I entered my crisis period, but I refused to confide in her what was happening. Based on her experience within the pentecostal church to which she belonged, as well as her rhetoric, I knew she did not understand.

When I lived in WI, I had a friend at work who belonged to the Assembly of God. He and I had many conversations focusing on God. I would give him my copy of New Covenant after reading it which he enjoyed. I like how he saw the communion of saints cheering us along the way. These were the type of things we talked about after he finished reading the magazine I gave him.
Another person with whom I worked was an avowed agnostic. He knew how I spent my Thursday nights and would respond with “I know where you were last night” based simply on my countenance. Thursday night was prayer group night. I drove 50 miles each direction to go to these meetings. He did not return to the Catholic Church even with what he saw happening in my life.
As Sabda posts, there are some things that we need to leave in the hands of the Holy Spirit.

 

[valiermn]

I am wondering how the Church would look upon me if I go to Mass and still go to my wife’s Pentecostal Church at the same time?

My wife is about as close to converting to the True Church as a dog is to a cat.

I actually anjoy the Pentecostal worship when it is moderate and when the preaching is theologically neutral it is o.k. as well.

So does anyone know of anyone that is in a similar situation? How is it working for them or if you are in this same situation how is it working for you?

What does the Church think about this?

I understood that as long as you go to Mass first it is Okay. You are not to take comunion at the other church. You can attend the other church from time to time but not on a regular basis.