I'm dating someone in SSPX

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I’m dating a girl who’s in SSPX. I really like her and everything, and things are going great. The fact that she’s in SSPX does concern me a bit, though. I’ve never dated anyone in SSPX before, so I don’t really know what to expect, in that regard. I’ve never attended an SSPX Mass before, either, but she wants me to; I did start attending the Latin Mass, which I actually really like. And looking way into the future, if things worked out, I’d still want my future children to be baptized and confirmed in the Catholic Church. From what I understand, baptisms performed by SSPX priests are valid, but children would be treated like Protestants if they wanted to come into the Catholic Church. Also, SSPX Masses are valid but illicit (illegal). Further, since SSPX priests are suspended, they cannot perform the sacraments, including the Sacrament of Marriage. So, these are some of the things that I know that concern me a bit. That said, I really like her and want to make things work.

Has anyone else dated someone in SSPX before? Has anyone married someone in SSPX? (name removed by moderator)ut would be greatly appreciated. Thank you in advance!
 
You have the gist of it. If you contracted a marriage with an SSPX priest as a witness, your marriage would be invalid due to lack of form. Their confessions would only be valid either in danger of death, or in cases of mistaking them for priests with faculties. Furthermore we should avoid assisting at their illicit masses, because such, while not sinful, are usually imprudent.

I would ask your suitee whether she would be comfortable hearing Mass and receiving sacraments according to the EF as celebrated by priests in good standing with Rome and their Bishop. That would be a happy compromise. If she does not agree, I would take the time to consider whether contracting an invalid marriage, being deprived of valid Confession, etc. would be really worth it.
 
AFAIK, only the priests and bishops are “in SSPX” (it’s actually the FSSPX).
 
Thank you for the responses so far.
Cojuanco said:
I would ask your suitee whether she would be comfortable hearing Mass and receiving sacraments according to the EF as celebrated by priests in good standing with Rome and their Bishop. That would be a happy compromise. If she does not agree, I would take the time to consider whether contracting an invalid marriage, being deprived of valid Confession, etc. would be really worth it.
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Yea, she is open to attending the Latin Mass celebrated by non-SSPX priests, but I assume that her preference is SSPX Masses. Obviously, given that she’s SSPX, she’s also not crazy about Vatican II and doesn’t have a high opinion of the NO Mass. I really like the Latin Mass, but I also believe in the validity of the NO Mass, which I had been attending previously.

I do know of an example, within my group of friends, of someone coming back from SSPX to the Latin Mass celebrated by priests in good standing, and marrying a non-SSPX person. Does anyone have other examples like that?
 
We can start there. I’d personally prefer going to a parish that celebrates both forms. It serves to prove that for many priests, the form does not affect the validity. Perhaps you could start by inviting her regularly to go to an EF with you in a parish or other place in communion with Rome?

I just want to emphasize that by no means are you to, despite what your suitee says, avail in their invalid Confessions and marriages.
 
Cojuanco said:
I just want to emphasize that by no means are you to, despite what your suitee says, avail in their invalid Confessions and marriages.
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This is something I could potentially be very concerned about. If things came to that point, I would not want the wedding to be performed by an SSPX priest. I’d be completely okay with the wedding being a Latin Mass, though.

Here’s another question. Since SSPX priests are technically Roman Catholic priests, but suspended, if they attended the wedding, they’d need to assist the officiating priest, because priests can’t just sit in the pew during Mass. What’s the Church’s guidance on that?
 
AllSeasons said:
Here’s another question. Since SSPX priests are technically Roman Catholic priests, but suspended, if they attended the wedding, they’d need to assist the officiating priest, because priests can’t just sit in the pew during Mass. What’s the Church’s guidance on that?
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Priests can attend a Mass without concelebrating.

I would take things very slow with this marriage idea. You do not want your children led away from the Church.
 
The SSPX is in an irregular situation. If you indeed wish to marry this girl, you must be aware that your marriage cannot be celebrated in the SSPX; such marriages are not valid. You also are not permitted to attend Confession in the SSPX because this is not valid as well. To the best of my knowledge, Catholics are not permitted to receive Holy Communion in the SSPX either, because their Masses are valid but illicit - that is, against canon law.

There is an order of priests called the FSSP that IS accepted by the Church as being canonically regular. These priests celebrate the Latin Mass licitly, and they are able to validly hear Confessions and validly officiate at marriage ceremonies.
 
His_helpmeet said:
The SSPX is in an irregular situation. If you indeed wish to marry this girl, you must be aware that your marriage cannot be celebrated in the SSPX; such marriages are not valid. You also are not permitted to attend Confession in the SSPX because this is not valid as well. To the best of my knowledge, Catholics are not permitted to receive Holy Communion in the SSPX either, because their Masses are valid but illicit - that is, against canon law.

There is an order of priests called the FSSP that IS accepted by the Church as being canonically regular. These priests celebrate the Latin Mass licitly, and they are able to validly hear Confessions and validly officiate at marriage ceremonies.
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Not just the FSSP. This is a directory of licit EF Masses in the United States and Canada, though I note it is not complete, as it seems for the Diocese of Orange only list Masses where the language of preaching is English.

ecclesiadei.org/masses.cfm
 
If you see that they are not compatible for you may want to leave them. Let God find you another person.👍
 
His_helpmeet said:
The SSPX is in an irregular situation. If you indeed wish to marry this girl, you must be aware that your marriage cannot be celebrated in the SSPX; such marriages are not valid. You also are not permitted to attend Confession in the SSPX because this is not valid as well. To the best of my knowledge, Catholics are not permitted to receive Holy Communion in the SSPX either, because their Masses are valid but illicit - that is, against canon law.

There is an order of priests called the FSSP that IS accepted by the Church as being canonically regular. These priests celebrate the Latin Mass licitly, and they are able to validly hear Confessions and validly officiate at marriage ceremonies.
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The Church does not prohibit a Catholic from receiving at an SSPX Mass. She does not even prohibit one from receiving at a sedevacantist Mass. But, She does “highly discourage” you. But, you are still allowed to receive, if you so desire.
 
There are those who are suggesting that you could raise the children in the FSSP. But, a lot of SSPX Catholics aren’t supportive of the FSSP, because they consider the Fraternity a “puppet to modernism.” If you decided to raise them in the SSPX, then that would be bad, as the SSPX will probably infect their minds about the “modernist Church.” So, in truth, unless she agrees to come in good standing with Rome, I would not recommend that you marry her.
 
AllSeasons said:
This is something I could potentially be very concerned about. If things came to that point, I would not want the wedding to be performed by an SSPX priest. I’d be completely okay with the wedding being a Latin Mass, though.

Here’s another question. Since SSPX priests are technically Roman Catholic priests, but suspended, if they attended the wedding, they’d need to assist the officiating priest, because priests can’t just sit in the pew during Mass. What’s the Church’s guidance on that?
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  1. They’d have to sit in the pew, because they are suspended. They are not allowed to carry out priestly duties.
  2. A priest can most certainly sit in the pew. Canon Law requires a “grave” reason in order for a priest present to not concelebrate. Suspended faculties would most certainly be a “grave” reason.
 
bben15 said:
  1. They’d have to sit in the pew, because they are suspended. They are not allowed to carry out priestly duties.
  2. A priest can most certainly sit in the pew. Canon Law requires a “grave” reason in order for a priest present to not concelebrate. Suspended faculties would most certainly be a “grave” reason.
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Interesting. Thanks:)
 
bben15 said:
There are those who are suggesting that you could raise the children in the FSSP. But, a lot of SSPX Catholics aren’t supportive of the FSSP, because they consider the Fraternity a “puppet to modernism.” If you decided to raise them in the SSPX, then that would be bad, as the SSPX will probably infect their minds about the “modernist Church.” So, in truth, unless she agrees to come in good standing with Rome, I would not recommend that you marry her.
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That is a concern I have. Unfortunately, I’ve been avoiding that conversation, or the whole conversation of SSPX, really. We did talk about it briefly, but I didn’t really want to get into it at that point. I imagine we’d have to talk about it at some point, but I must admit that I’ve been putting it off. I do not want to raise my children in SSPX, though FSSP is an option I’d consider. I want them to be baptized by a Catholic priest in good standing, even though I suppose SSPX baptisms are valid. I think I do need to prepare for that conversation, when the time is right. Here’re some of my must haves:
  • Marriage performed by a Catholic priest in good standing
  • Baptisms performed by a Catholic priest in good standing
  • Attending Latin Masses at non-SSPX church; I’m willing to forgo going to NO Masses
I still need to do more research on what raising children in SSPX entails. But at the very least, I’d want my children to be confirmed by a Catholic priest in good standing.
 
AllSeasons said:
That is a concern I have. Unfortunately, I’ve been avoiding that conversation, or the whole conversation of SSPX, really. We did talk about it briefly, but I didn’t really want to get into it at that point. I imagine we’d have to talk about it at some point, but I must admit that I’ve been putting it off. I do not want to raise my children in SSPX, though FSSP is an option I’d consider. I want them to be baptized by a Catholic priest in good standing, even though I suppose SSPX baptisms are valid. I think I do need to prepare for that conversation, when the time is right. Here’re some of my must haves:
  • Marriage performed by a Catholic priest in good standing
  • Baptisms performed by a Catholic priest in good standing
  • Attending Latin Masses at non-SSPX church; I’m willing to forgo going to NO Masses
I still need to do more research on what raising children in SSPX entails. But at the very least, I’d want my children to be confirmed by a Catholic priest in good standing.
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All “musts” be with FSSP. First Confession, First Communion, Confirmation, Catechism, etc. If you want to send your child to Catholic school, I personally wouldn’t have a problem with sending them to an SSPX school. I can understand being reluctant to send them to diocesan schools, as there are many Cafeteria Catholics there (we haven’t forgotten that incident in Seattle last week). SSPX schools are solidly orthodox, and there are no modernists in them. However, I would keep a tight leash on the faculty at the school, and be sure to know what they are teaching your child, as you don’t want him to be tempted to go into disobedience.
 
bben15 said:
All “musts” be with FSSP. First Confession, First Communion, Confirmation, Catechism, etc. If you want to send your child to Catholic school, I personally wouldn’t have a problem with sending them to an SSPX school. I can understand being reluctant to send them to diocesan schools, as there are many Cafeteria Catholics there (we haven’t forgotten that incident in Seattle last week). SSPX schools are solidly orthodox, and there are no modernists in them. However, I would keep a tight leash on the faculty at the school, and be sure to know what they are teaching your child, as you don’t want him to be tempted to go into disobedience.
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If they went to an SSPX school, would they have to be confirmed through SSPX, or can you still do the confirmation through a priest in good standing?
 
AllSeasons said:
If they went to an SSPX school, would they have to be confirmed through SSPX, or can you still do the confirmation through a priest in good standing?
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The SSPX is not like most diocesan schools. Confirmation prep and the actual sacrament is done through the parish, not the school. So, you really would not have to worry about that. Though, if by some chance, an SSPX school decided to do it differently that most SSPX schools, you could always ask your bishop for a dispensation for your child to be confirmed in the SSPX.
 
bben15 said:
The SSPX is not like most diocesan schools. Confirmation prep and the actual sacrament is done through the parish, not the school. So, you really would not have to worry about that. Though, if by some chance, an SSPX school decided to do it differently that most SSPX schools, you could always ask your bishop for a dispensation for your child to be confirmed in the SSPX.
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Thank you. This is the exact information I was looking for!
 
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