I'm falling...

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NathanCarson

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I’ve been kinda stressed out lately. I fell out of my regular routine of daily mass and am very rapidly taking my own will back. I’ve even begun to fall into some of the temptations I’d been slowly overcoming. One sin in particular, I usually have to confess every two weeks to a month. I made a bad decision to just give in. I drug myself down further. It really is *us *who seperate ourselves from God, not a God who punishes us for doing wrong.

I’m pretty sure of what I need to do to get it back, I’ve been praying that God will be patient with me and give me time to get right. I also know I’m not ready to stop. I feel like if I can just get tired of sin it’ll be easier to repent. This is stupid though. Cause sin is pleasureable to some extent, why else would we do it. It’s really causing me a lot of pain and pleasure. Pleasure because I feel free doing things that make me feel good. Pain because I know I’m failing the Lord and everytime I say the Our father I feel like a liar. How can I possibly say “thy will be done” if I know I don’t plan to keep it. This is just vain repitition of empty words, of which I seek not to make my prayers be. Although I say the same prayers many times I always try to come from the heart as best as I can.

Are there just times when we fall, and that’s ok, because we get back up? I know Jesus fell three times on the way to golgotha. I just…don’t like falling.

any kind words of advice, sympathy, compassion, etc. would be appreciated. Even if you feel it necessary to be a little hard on me, maybe that’s what I need to hear.

God bless.
 
Doing God’s will is a matter of the will–your will. So, pick yourself up, brush yourself off, and go on. Go to confession, receive God’s sustaining grace and strive to do what you know God wants you to do in spite of failures or temptations or feelings. Yes?
 
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NathanCarson:
IAre there just times when we fall, and that’s ok, because we get back up? I know Jesus fell three times on the way to golgotha. I just…don’t like falling.
Jesus didn’t like to fall either, but He hurts when you fall too. He’s hurt, but not mad. On the contrary, He’s ready to forgive you, jut ask.

Sin is not unknown to me either. I hate sin and out of pride I often get mad at myself too.

Bear in mind that Jesus also rose from those falls, picking up His cross and sharing the burden with Simon. When I fall, I try to raise up as quickly as possible, for He then shares my cross with me through grace.

:blessyou:
 
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NathanCarson:
Are there just times when we fall, and that’s ok, because we get back up?
Yes. In fact, God sometimes allows it for the greater purpose of helping us overcome the bigger sin of pride, which is harder to detect.

Ecclesiasticus 10:14 The beginning of the pride of man, is to fall off from God

Proverbs 16:18 Pride goeth before destruction: and the spirit is lifted up before a fall.

Proverbs 29:23 Humiliation followeth the proud: and glory shall uphold the humble of spirit.
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NathanCarson:
I know Jesus fell three times on the way to golgotha. I just…don’t like falling.
Pride can be like that.
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NathanCarson:
any kind words of advice, sympathy, compassion, etc. would be appreciated. Even if you feel it necessary to be a little hard on me, maybe that’s what I need to hear.
You say you are not ready to stop… I recommend you go deep into prayer and tell this to God. Tell Him what you told us - that you are falling, going deeper in debt and liking it, and yet you realize you shouldn’t, but that you can’t seem to resist.

Just keep “eye contact” with God. Be like Peter who at first walked on the water, but then started paying attention to the waves, and sank. He cried out to the Lord “Save me!”.

Make it clear to yourself what your situation really is, so that when God does help you, you will more accurately ascribe the glory to the One who saved you from it. Allow yourself to be humbled from your pride so that He may lift you up after you finally decide to rely on Him instead of yourself.

hurst
 
It’s mysterious but sometimes God seems to withdraw his grace and favour from us. God will do this even though he knows we will fall. Often the reason is he wants us to be more humble. It can also be God weaning us off him in a kind of way. We are like little babies in comparison to God and he wants to make us mature adults ( Saints). This can be a painful process.

God is moulding us into Saints. He’s creating a great sculptor with us and the chiselling hurts us.
Thank God for your cross and trust in him.
 
Falling is merely the reminder of how we can’t do it on our own, how we need Jesus. He came for us - He is our friend and is very patient with us. He will reach out his hand for you to grab onto and pull you back up.
You mentioned stress in your very first sentence. Yes it is a stressful time of year. Don’t be too hard on yourself.
 
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