I'm just done.

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Without going into great detail,I actually know how you feel,
Well,Not exactly , but I get the idea, it helps if you try to get out and about,
Try to be with happy positive thinking people, going to happy type movies at the cinema ,
Have bright colours …in your garden or house,
There are card & Artificial Flowers making groups,
We need mental &. Physical stimulation ,things that get the mind off the big things that are happening to us , Prayer helps I know,but sometimes we need to look outside the square,
I found going exploring creeks &. Rivers on a Kayak was an enormous help for me,
It changed the Enviroment I lived in, found peace,
 
Time to get a new doctor/psychiatrist I think.

I know a woman who trialled different medications and it took years before finally they found a perfect one for her. She had even attempted suicide because she had been that low and all the medication caused her incredible weight gain.
She survived, her medication was fixed, she lost the weight and was able to live a normal life.
I prayed for her non stop during this time.

I’ve had depression in the past. I don’t respond to any medication but for me it ended up being prayer and a change of circumstances that helped me. I feel that Satan had his part to play in my suffering too so all I can recommended along with changing doctors is do not give up praying.
I’m praying for you too.
 
hour by hour, survive… Before I knew what was really wrong with me I used to be in torment.
Sometimes in the afternoon, when it was always worst I would look at the clock , and say, I will survive the next half hour, minute by minute is the way… Now I make myself last until 4 pm…

Just minute by minute and hour by hour

OF COURSE God is there, He is every breath you take,

The sun goes behind clouds or hides at night, It is still there…

As the prisoner in the concentration camp wrote… “I believe in the sun ever when it is not shining… I believe in God even when I cannot see Him”

Care for YOU in small ways that will support. Treats, comforts, the tiniest things that are really great, do not let darkness blind you to beauty… I am looking at the last of the hydrangea flowers near my bed…so pretty…

Blessings and prayers…
 
I’m really sorry you’re having such a hard time, Convert. I can’t offer much to you except hugs, but I do hope you soon start to see a glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel.

:hug1:
 
Do you get to daily Mass?

The exposure to Jesus … up front and personal … has been wonderful for me.

I also love daily visits to the Blessed Sacrament.

Preferably at some church or chapel where they have Perpetual Eucharistic Adoration.

I was kidding with one of my priest-friends that at Mass, I would push a particle of the Consecrated Host to behind a tooth, so the matter would not dissolve right away. And after Mass, they set out a Host in a Monstrance. So, that way, I would get radiated with Grace, inside and out.

Yes, I know it’s silly.

But, on the other hand, being irradiated with Grace is a good thing.

Jesus and I joke around a lot.

I am on His payroll.

[He says, “Monte, are you on my payroll?”.]

[Which is why I get up every day before 5am. To read and study and pray.]
Been doing the daily prayer thing at church for almost 60 years. Different places. Different circumstances.

One day a senior nun said she sees a constant stream of cars stopping next to the parish church, with business people going in to church to pray. All day. Not just me.*
 
Convert_in_99 said:
I don’t want to have to be in this horrible state of endless suffering and pain. My psychiatrist said there was nothing more he could do for my mental health. I’m on 4 psychiatric medicines. Talk therapy ended in failure (the therapist didn’t know what to do for me.) My physical health just won’t budge. If we make any progress with one thing, two more come in it’s place. God is millions of miles away from me and my faith is SOOOO weak and lonely. Praying is torture. No one in my family is Catholic. I have to practice it all alone. I’m just done with this world. The Salve Regina prayer is absolutely right in calling it a “valley of tears.” Hard seeing God is good right now. It just sucks!
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I’m sorry to hear about it. I just thought that according to the picture on the bottom of your post that at least you have support from your husband.

I’m a natural health follower. In other words, I believe there is no contradiction between mental and physical health. I’ve been through the mill emotionally but paying more attention to my bodily needs has always helped. For mood depressants, one can start with sugary substances or foods like grain and even meat which have an acid residue when consumed. The consequences of systemic acidity cannot be overestimated.

Fasting has helped me many times although now I have a problem with a kind of gastritis that doesn’t respond well to food deprivation. I don’t know offhand to what internet sites that might help you but the premise of cleaning the body of toxins is always good for the mind.

Here is one site that I have been reading, not too complicated to understand:
marysherbs.com/heal/heal-acip.htm

Food allergies, sensitivity to gluten, etc., can cause psycho-physical reactions. My son as a kid had real problems concentrating in school plus behavioral issues. Now that he is getting his system under control his attitude has become more positive. I don’t know how much time you have to investigate these areas until you come up with the right solution for yourself, or find a practitioner who knows his stuff and not just faking (there are plenty of those) but I hope you don’t go around in circles as much as I have during my life. At least the mistakes I have made have shown me what not to do. Hopefully you can eventually wean yourself from medications since they have short and long term effects.

You can vent in my direction if you want…
 
Know that we are still praying for you even when you feel like you can’t.
 
Convert 99,

May the Lord with His Merciful Heart walk gently beside you
in your time of need, healing and strengthening you both
in body and soul, restoring you to fullness of life and spirit.
Amen.
LoveMercyGrace~
 
Convert,

You’re a true hero in my book. I know for sure God wouldn’t allow me to carry such a heavy cross that you’re carrying because I would fail miserably. God has chosen you to be closer to him; he allows he friends to suffer not his enemies.

You will get to Heaven before I do.
 
It took a friend of mine 7 years to find the right psychiatrist and the right medications … don’t give up … she is back to being almost 100% better.

You are in my prayers Convert … God Bless You … hang in there.
 
Convert_in_99 said:
I don’t want to have to be in this horrible state of endless suffering and pain. My psychiatrist said there was nothing more he could do for my mental health. I’m on 4 psychiatric medicines. Talk therapy ended in failure (the therapist didn’t know what to do for me.) My physical health just won’t budge. If we make any progress with one thing, two more come in it’s place. God is millions of miles away from me and my faith is SOOOO weak and lonely. Praying is torture. No one in my family is Catholic. I have to practice it all alone. I’m just done with this world. The Salve Regina prayer is absolutely right in calling it a “valley of tears.” Hard seeing God is good right now. It just sucks!
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Have you gotten your vitamin D levels tested? I struggled with depression last year, mainly due to hypovitaminosis D, and the supplement I’ve been taking ever since has helped greatly. Also, check your house/air vents for mold. I had some disgusting mold growing in my dorm room during my crisis period, and at the very least it didn’t help my condition. That stuff can be really toxic.

I would recommend asking your GP to run a battery of blood tests. Chronic depression can often be indicative of something else going wrong within your body. If that’s the case, anti-depressants and counseling probably aren’t going to help.
 
Convert_in_99 said:
I don’t want to have to be in this horrible state of endless suffering and pain. My psychiatrist said there was nothing more he could do for my mental health. I’m on 4 psychiatric medicines. Talk therapy ended in failure (the therapist didn’t know what to do for me.) My physical health just won’t budge. If we make any progress with one thing, two more come in it’s place. God is millions of miles away from me and my faith is SOOOO weak and lonely. Praying is torture. No one in my family is Catholic. I have to practice it all alone. I’m just done with this world. The Salve Regina prayer is absolutely right in calling it a “valley of tears.” Hard seeing God is good right now. It just sucks!
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It’s serandipitous that you quoted the Salve Regina. That prayer was written by Blessed Herman the Cripple. discerninghearts.com/?p=856 .

I had a friend that was diagnoised with Fybromialgia that caused both physical and psycological issues. One thing she did was an elimination diet. She gave up sugar, dairy (except eggs), caffiene, alcohol, beans & peanuts and all grains - including soy and quinoa. This was for 30 days and she felt so much better. All clean food without any added chemicals. This helped her tremendously! She discovered her food triggers when she added certain foods back to her diet. This has helped her Fybromialgia and given her a better outlook and has reduced her reliance on medication. Once pain can be controlled, our mental outlook improves. Might want to find an Osteopathic doctor as well. They are trained to see the person as whole and not peices and parts. Also, remember to laugh. I know that sounds silly, but laughter actually helps our bodies to re-oxigenate.

I’ll keep you in my prayers.
 
Wendy1989 said:
I had a friend that was diagnosed with Fybromialgia that caused both physical and psycological issues. One thing she did was an elimination diet. She gave up sugar, dairy (except eggs), caffiene, alcohol, beans & peanuts and all grains - including soy and quinoa. This was for 30 days and she felt so much better. All clean food without any added chemicals. This helped her tremendously! She discovered her food triggers when she added certain foods back to her diet. This has helped her Fybromialgia and given her a better outlook and has reduced her reliance on medication. Once pain can be controlled, our mental outlook improves. Might want to find an Osteopathic doctor as well. They are trained to see the person as whole and not pieces and parts.
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Amen. Ideally food should be our medicine and medicine our food. I am doing the Specific Carbohydrate Diet for long standing tummy issues. All grain must be avoided, sugar, eggs and dairy. I also gave up alcohol about 6 months ago since it is concentrated sugar. It was not easy at all but I am beginning to see positive results. Actually processed sugar and starch are at the root of so many disorders, physical and mental.
The official book for the SCD by Elaine Gottschall cites good results with autism. My son is doing a modified version and is having better health and concentration.
Also I stumbled on GABA, an amino acid, back in 2005 when I was in a quite bad depression. It doesn’t work for everyone but for me it was a lifesaver.
Keep the faith and you will find a way!
 
I know we are not supposed to be giving medical advice on here, but you said that you are on 4 different psychiatric medications!

I have known people who were prescribed certain psychiatric medications, and the medications backfired so badly that they had to be taken off of the medications immediately. It is also true that certain antidepressants can make a person feel like committing suicide!

If I were you, I think I would get some new doctors who would try a more natural approach. If that is not possible, I would inform my doctors that I’m feeling terrible on these medications, and something needs to change!
 
Thank you all so much for your prayers! :hug1:

I’m having a better mental outlook today even though I physically have regressed some. So your prayers are definitely helping. (Continuing to help for all you who have been praying for a while 😉 ) God bless you all! 🙂
 
I am so glad I found this newer thread that you are updating. I continue praying. . . . A couple of prayers of thanksgiving for what Our Heavenly Father has done for you already. Soon we will do “full-time” thanksgiving prayers . . . for He is worthy!

Litany of Humility
:signofcross:
O Jesus! meek and humble of heart, Hear me.
From the desire of being esteemed,
Deliver me, Jesus. [Repeat after each below]
From the desire of being loved…
From the desire of being extolled …
From the desire of being honored …
From the desire of being praised …
From the desire of being preferred to others…
From the desire of being consulted …
From the desire of being approved …
From the fear of being humiliated …
From the fear of being despised…
From the fear of suffering rebukes …
From the fear of being calumniated …
From the fear of being forgotten …
From the fear of being ridiculed …
From the fear of being wronged …
From the fear of being suspected …

That others may be loved more than I,
Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it. [Repeat after each below]
That others may be esteemed more than I …
That, in the opinion of the world,
… others may increase and I may decrease …
That others may be chosen and I set aside …
That others may be praised and I unnoticed …
That others may be preferred to me in everything…
That others may become holier than I, provided that I may
…become as holy as I should…
Rafael Cardinal Merry del Val (1865-1930),
Secretary of State for Pope Saint Pius X​

Prayer to the Holy Spirit
by Saint Antiochus
O Holy Spirit,
most merciful Comforter:
You proceed from the Father
in a manner beyond our understanding.
Come, I beseech You,
and take up your abode in my heart.
Purify and cleanse me from all sin,
and sanctify my soul.
Cleanse it from every impurity,
water its dryness,
melt its coldness,
and save it from its sinful ways.
Make me truly humble and resigned,
that I may be pleasing to You,
and that You might abide with me forever.
Most Blessed Light,
most Amiable Light,
enlighten me.
O Rapturous Joy of Paradise,
Fount of Purest Delight,
My God, give yourself to me
and kindle in my innermost soul the fire of Your love.
My Lord, instruct, direct,
and defend me in all things.
Give me strength against all immoderate fears
and against despondency.
Bestow upon me a true faith,
a firm hope,
and a sincere and a perfect love.
Grant that I always do Your Most Gracious Will.
Amen.

Prayer for All Virtues
O Almighty and all-knowing God,
without beginning or end,
who art the giver, preserver, and rewarder of all virtue:

Grant me to stand firm on the solid foundation of faith,
be protected by the invincible shield of hope,
and be adorned by the nuptial garment of charity;

Grant me by justice to obey thee,
by prudence to resist the crafts of the Devil,
by temperance to hold to moderation,
by fortitude to bear adversity with patience;

Grant that the goods that I have I may share liberally
with those who have not,
and the good that I do not have I may seek with humility
from those who have;

Grant that I may truly recognize the guilt of the evil I have done,
and bear with equanimity the punishments I have deserved;
that I may never lust after the goods of my neighbour,
but always give thanks to thee for all thy good gifts…

Plant in me, O Lord, all thy virtues,
that in divine matters I might be devout,
in human affairs wise,
and in the proper needs of the flesh onerous to no one…

And grant that I may never rush to do things hastily,
nor balk to do things demanding,
so that I neither yearn for things too soon,
nor desert things before they are finished.
Amen.
:signofcross:
  • St. Thomas Aquinas
Let Nothing Disturb You
Let nothing disturb you,
Let nothing frighten you,
All things are passing away:
God never changes.

Patience,
Obtains all things,
Whoever has God
Lacks nothing:
God alone suffices.

Santa Teresa de Jesús
(Santa Teresa de Ávila)

Luz María
 
Convert_in_99 said:
Thank you all so much for your prayers! :hug1:

I’m having a better mental outlook today even though I physically have regressed some. So your prayers are definitely helping. (Continuing to help for all you who have been praying for a while 😉 ) God bless you all! 🙂
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So happy for you 🙂
 
Convert_in_99 said:
I don’t want to have to be in this horrible state of endless suffering and pain. My psychiatrist said there was nothing more he could do for my mental health. I’m on 4 psychiatric medicines. Talk therapy ended in failure (the therapist didn’t know what to do for me.) My physical health just won’t budge. If we make any progress with one thing, two more come in it’s place. God is millions of miles away from me and my faith is SOOOO weak and lonely. Praying is torture. No one in my family is Catholic. I have to practice it all alone. I’m just done with this world. The Salve Regina prayer is absolutely right in calling it a “valley of tears.” Hard seeing God is good right now. It just sucks!
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“We were so utterly, unbearably crushed that we despaired of life itself.”
  • Paul, 2 Cor 1:8
Paul didn’t give up; I really feel you could benefit from the sufferings that others also experience. Please don’t lose hope. As Paul once said, “We can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. For just as we share abundantly in the sufferings of Christ, so also our comfort abounds through Christ,” I too feel this is quite applicable in your life at the moment.
 
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