I'm losing Faith

[cisco_1]

Hello, i think the title speaks for itself but I want to explain as to why I am making this thread.

Over the years, I’ve been here and other Christian forums (whether Catholic dominant to Protestant) asking for prayers. I even attended various christian/connect groups, asked other christians for their prayers and even attended a life in the spirit seminars.

Reasons why is because I am unhappy with my life and i can’t find any joy, with addition to battling sins/addictions that have been giving me “releases” from the stress. I’ve been praying and asking for prayers for years… and i feel that nothing is happening.

---

Now what is this you ask?

1. Professional reason: For one, I am having a hard time getting a good job in profession: Graphic Design. I currently work as a Graphic Design Instructor for small H-1 based school in NYC, and it’s not as great because it’s very unstable in the office and it looks like it’s about to lose it’s business. I can’t any other job in my profession or get any responses from even agencies.

My dream is to be a good father and husband one day, make a good living for my future family, be able to support my future wife… the one who will lead the prayers before meals, and lead my family to church, but with my professional life right now it’s just hard to see it happening.

1. Building a relationship with Christ: During my gradeschool years, I lived in New Jersey and had a lot of friends but when i reached my teen years, my family and I moved to the Philippines and aside from the whole uprooting/adjustment, I was always viewed as a loser. I was bullied, I was looked down on, and i wasn’t the brightest person in class. Because of that, I ended up getting into certain sins such as Smoking and Masturbation. I’ve talked about these sins in the past prayer threads i;ve made here, because for more than 15 years these have been my vices. My body can’t resist in doing them, and I think it’s because these have been “anti-depressants”. I’ve been praying and praying to develop the strength to stop these sins, because I am ashamed of it and ashamed of praying and going before God because of it… For years, i’ve asked for the grace of God the Holy Spirit; for him to send his angels to minister and block the evils that tempt me, but i always fail on doing so. I’ve prayed for a relationship with God, to reconcile and for him to lead me but these sins/addictions won’t shake off.
2. Loneliness: I have friends back home in the Philippines, since Highschool but they are just 5 people and that’s it. I am about to hit 30 this year and in my life, i only had 1 girlfriend who eventually cheated on me, after that I can’t even strike a date. Everyday when I am out, I eat alone… I watch movies in the cinema mostly alone, because I can’t/develop any close friendships for some reason. I am practically a normal guy socially and I have no idea why I am always alone… i would get the typical friendly stuff at church but nothing as deep in socialization consistently. I’ve been also highly fantasizing myself being happy; living a better life – having a better job, a great relationship with the woman of my dreams, being happy and praising God for his blessings – i hate these fantasizing but i can’t turn it off because I am alone and this is like my brain automatically defending itself. I’ve been praying for this as well, for many years. Nothing.
3. Blessing of others: As referenced through out my 3 reasons, this 4th one is drawing/giving me the biggest confusion. As i said, when I was in Highschool i was bullied a lot. When I was in Senior year, the Junior batch were known to be A holes (forgive my language) and one of them wanted to fight me for no reason at all, and since I refused I was picked on for being a coward. Through out that year i was taunted and shamed by this person and most of the people in Highschool. I also referenced I had a girlfriend who cheat on me (several times)… now what gets me confused here is, I see them now and they have the good job, the happy marriage, the many friends… in short, their life seems to be going in a happy direction. I can’t help but ask the question, why is God blessing them; the people who put me down? And me, I am still fighting for a good future for myself… why make their negative views on me being a loser almost true in their view?
4. Other less fortunate: The last thing is that I see allot of people who have it worse. The homeless people, the people who’ve lost their loved ones, etc etc… now I can assume they are praying for their lives, and they have more of a right to question God’s reasons than I do… which leads me to think, if their prayers aren’t being answered then what more for mine?

I’m not saying I’m losing faith in a sense that I am being an Atheist. I don’t think i’ll ever question about God’s existence but the lack of faith is based on the power of Prayer and if he will ever be involved in my life. Maybe it works for some, but it just hasn’t been for me. Maybe it’s my fault, but I don’t think I can pray anymore… because in my heart, i have nothing else to truly pray about other than the same thing, and probably anger towards God is inside as well.

 

[Billycourty]

Jesus says:

“He (The Father) cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful.”

Trials and tribulations are a part of faith. God never tires of forgiving us our sins, it is we who tire of confessing them.

I am sorry you are lonely. Jesus was lonely too, think about it? I think most deeply spiritual people are:

Jesus says: “If the world hates you, you know that it has hated Me before it hated you. 19"If you were of the world, the world would love its own; but because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, because of this the world hates you.…”

Have courage that you are being shaped and pruned.

Remember Jesus said: “I am the good shepherd; I know my sheep and my sheep know me—"

And: “Peace I bequeath to you, my own peace I give you, a peace which the world cannot give, this is my gift to you. Do not let your hearts be troubled or afraid.”

And Peter said “Stand up to him, strong in faith and in the knowledge that it is the same kind of suffering that the community of your brothers throughout the world is undergoing.
You will have to suffer only for a little while: the God of all grace who called you to eternal glory in Christ will restore you, he will confirm, strengthen and support you.”

You have a friend in Jesus he said he would always be with us and not to be afraid.

When you feel lonely, remember he is right there with you.

When you sin don’t beat yourself up, just turn back toward Jesus. Never let sin and shame drive you away from Jesus.

He has already died for all of your sins, he already bore them and paid the penance for them. So be brave and turn back to Jesus and don’t let the devil use shame against you.

Sometimes we feel as if we are alone, but remember that Jesus and Mary love us, so the loneliness is for a reason and only for a time.

I find that because I know the sting of loneliness I am the first to welcome newcomers to my church, so they feel included.

Trials bear fruit and always remember:

"My sheep hear My voice, and I know them, and they follow Me; 28 and I give eternal life to them, and they will never perish; and no one will snatch them out of My hand. 29 “My Father, who has given them to Me, is greater than all; and no one is able to snatch them out of the Father’s hand.…”

So you see, don’t be afraid. Rest and know that Jesus is the good shepherd and he died so his flock could live. You have been called.

You are save and you have a friend in him.

If you need to talk to your friend, read the bible (the verse of the day is a great place to start) for the bible is the voice of God and he can talk to us personally.

Regards
Jay

 

[brad90956]

Read the Parable of The Persistent Widow and Unjust Judge because Jesus talks about your situation.

Luke 18:1-8

Luke 18:1-8 contains the Parable of the Persistent Widow. Luke prefaces Jesus’ narration of the story of the widow’s pestering of the unjust judge with the comment that our Lord gave this parable specifically to encourage people “to pray and not lose heart.” The basic subject of this passage of Scripture deals with the question: Will a person ultimately cave in, downcast and discouraged, because of the difficulties and trials he faces throughout his Christian life, forsaking all the truth and opportunities God has given him?

Christ’s parable teaches us that we are to continue to pray and not falter or become dejected if our prayers do not seem to be answered right away. We are to come to understand that if a request is not granted immediately, God may be testing us, teaching us patience, or working out a purpose we cannot see. We must understand that He works on His timetable—not ours—and that He always works out what is best for us and for our particular situation (Romans 8:28). Our job, then, is to persevere in our faith in God, always trusting Him in what we ask of Him.

In the parable, we see the widow coming before the unrighteous judge with her complaint, though Christ never informs us about its specifics. We do not need to know the details; it could be any grievance. The callous judge has no pity in him, but the widow is so persistent that the judge reasons within himself that he had better avenge her lest she wear him out with her incessant visits. The phrase “weary me” literally implies striking blows and giving the recipient a pair of black eyes! This was one persistent woman!

If a reader of this parable is not careful, he could judge God as being comparable to the unjust judge, that is, that He will not answer our requests promptly unless we bother Him with constant pleas for help. Actually, Jesus is contrasting the faithfulness of our loving God to the cynical, self-serving, unrighteous judge. The latter is not in any way a good man, but a godless one who is just trying to shield himself from being annoyed.

Jesus is trying to get us to realize God’s never-ending love and faithfulness to His children. We are to see that all that God is, the judge is not. God is always willing to hear us and to answer our prayers if according to His will. He always hears the cries of His own elect or chosen ones. Indeed, God will avenge or vindicate His people.

The point is that, if the unjust judge—who could not have cared less for the widow—at length responded to her cry merely to rid himself of her aggravating requests, then shall not God—who loves His chosen people and gave His Son for us—answer our prayers when we are under trial or in need?

 

[cisco_1]

Read the Parable of The Persistent Widow and Unjust Judge because Jesus talks about your situation.

Luke 18:1-8

Luke 18:1-8 contains the Parable of the Persistent Widow. Luke prefaces Jesus’ narration of the story of the widow’s pestering of the unjust judge with the comment that our Lord gave this parable specifically to encourage people “to pray and not lose heart.” The basic subject of this passage of Scripture deals with the question: Will a person ultimately cave in, downcast and discouraged, because of the difficulties and trials he faces throughout his Christian life, forsaking all the truth and opportunities God has given him?

Christ’s parable teaches us that we are to continue to pray and not falter or become dejected if our prayers do not seem to be answered right away. We are to come to understand that if a request is not granted immediately, God may be testing us, teaching us patience, or working out a purpose we cannot see. We must understand that He works on His timetable—not ours—and that He always works out what is best for us and for our particular situation (Romans 8:28). Our job, then, is to persevere in our faith in God, always trusting Him in what we ask of Him.

In the parable, we see the widow coming before the unrighteous judge with her complaint, though Christ never informs us about its specifics. We do not need to know the details; it could be any grievance. The callous judge has no pity in him, but the widow is so persistent that the judge reasons within himself that he had better avenge her lest she wear him out with her incessant visits. The phrase “weary me” literally implies striking blows and giving the recipient a pair of black eyes! This was one persistent woman!

If a reader of this parable is not careful, he could judge God as being comparable to the unjust judge, that is, that He will not answer our requests promptly unless we bother Him with constant pleas for help. Actually, Jesus is contrasting the faithfulness of our loving God to the cynical, self-serving, unrighteous judge. The latter is not in any way a good man, but a godless one who is just trying to shield himself from being annoyed.

Jesus is trying to get us to realize God’s never-ending love and faithfulness to His children. We are to see that all that God is, the judge is not. God is always willing to hear us and to answer our prayers if according to His will. He always hears the cries of His own elect or chosen ones. Indeed, God will avenge or vindicate His people.

The point is that, if the unjust judge—who could not have cared less for the widow—at length responded to her cry merely to rid himself of her aggravating requests, then shall not God—who loves His chosen people and gave His Son for us—answer our prayers when we are under trial or in need?

Thanks for this… however, what if God’s will is that my life to be like this? We only have one life here on earth, why have our time taken away?

 

[LethalMouse]

The most difficult thing is seeing that loving God is better than the other stuff. You mention smoking (Not a sin) I fear those who are worried about such are minding the letter of the law and not God. Even if and when you sin, it is better to sin with God in a sense than without…

Think of a child that begs for attention by acting bad… in a sense you need to maintain the attention instead of to sin and hide. I don’t advocate you not be remorseful or not try to stop actual sins, but don’t make sin your primary focus. Make loving God the primary focus… let other things fall into place.

 

[anon98328916]

Hello, i think the title speaks for itself but I want to explain as to why I am making this thread.

Over the years, I’ve been here and other Christian forums (whether Catholic dominant to Protestant) asking for prayers. I even attended various christian/connect groups, asked other christians for their prayers and even attended a life in the spirit seminars.

Have you read the diary of St Faustina? The love and mercy God has for us is overwhelming. I’d advise you to keep praying Our Lady said “persevere in prayer”
Reasons why is because I am unhappy with my life and i can’t find any joy, with addition to battling sins/addictions that have been giving me “releases” from the stress. I’ve been praying and asking for prayers for years… and i feel that nothing is happening.

---

Now what is this you ask?

1. Professional reason: For one, I am having a hard time getting a good job in profession: Graphic Design. I currently work as a Graphic Design Instructor for small H-1 based school in NYC, and it’s not as great because it’s very unstable in the office and it looks like it’s about to lose it’s business. I can’t any other job in my profession or get any responses from even agencies.

My dream is to be a good father and husband one day, make a good living for my future family, be able to support my future wife… the one who will lead the prayers before meals, and lead my family to church, but with my professional life right now it’s just hard to see it happening.

1. Building a relationship with Christ: During my gradeschool years, I lived in New Jersey and had a lot of friends but when i reached my teen years, my family and I moved to the Philippines and aside from the whole uprooting/adjustment, I was always viewed as a loser. I was bullied, I was looked down on, and i wasn’t the brightest person in class. Because of that, I ended up getting into certain sins such as Smoking and Masturbation. I’ve talked about these sins in the past prayer threads i;ve made here, because for more than 15 years these have been my vices. My body can’t resist in doing them, and I think it’s because these have been “anti-depressants”. I’ve been praying and praying to develop the strength to stop these sins, because I am ashamed of it and ashamed of praying and going before God because of it… For years, i’ve asked for the grace of God the Holy Spirit; for him to send his angels to minister and block the evils that tempt me, but i always fail on doing so. I’ve prayed for a relationship with God, to reconcile and for him to lead me but these sins/addictions won’t shake off.
2. Loneliness: I have friends back home in the Philippines, since Highschool but they are just 5 people and that’s it. I am about to hit 30 this year and in my life, i only had 1 girlfriend who eventually cheated on me, after that I can’t even strike a date. Everyday when I am out, I eat alone… I watch movies in the cinema mostly alone, because I can’t/develop any close friendships for some reason. I am practically a normal guy socially and I have no idea why I am always alone… i would get the typical friendly stuff at church but nothing as deep in socialization consistently. I’ve been also highly fantasizing myself being happy; living a better life – having a better job, a great relationship with the woman of my dreams, being happy and praising God for his blessings – i hate these fantasizing but i can’t turn it off because I am alone and this is like my brain automatically defending itself. I’ve been praying for this as well, for many years. Nothing.
3. Blessing of others: As referenced through out my 3 reasons, this 4th one is drawing/giving me the biggest confusion. As i said, when I was in Highschool i was bullied a lot. When I was in Senior year, the Junior batch were known to be A holes (forgive my language) and one of them wanted to fight me for no reason at all, and since I refused I was picked on for being a coward. Through out that year i was taunted and shamed by this person and most of the people in Highschool. I also referenced I had a girlfriend who cheat on me (several times)… now what gets me confused here is, I see them now and they have the good job, the happy marriage, the many friends… in short, their life seems to be going in a happy direction. I can’t help but ask the question, why is God blessing them; the people who put me down? And me, I am still fighting for a good future for myself… why make their negative views on me being a loser almost true in their view?
4. Other less fortunate: The last thing is that I see allot of people who have it worse. The homeless people, the people who’ve lost their loved ones, etc etc… now I can assume they are praying for their lives, and they have more of a right to question God’s reasons than I do… which leads me to think, if their prayers aren’t being answered then what more for mine?

I’m not saying I’m losing faith in a sense that I am being an Atheist. I don’t think i’ll ever question about God’s existence but the lack of faith is based on the power of Prayer and if he will ever be involved in my life. Maybe it works for some, but it just hasn’t been for me. Maybe it’s my fault, but I don’t think I can pray anymore… because in my heart, i have nothing else to truly pray about other than the same thing, and probably anger towards God is inside as well.

 

[anon98328916]

Never give up hope. Have you read the diary of St Faustina?

 

[Polyphony]

I’ve been praying and praying to develop the strength to stop these sins, because I am ashamed of it and ashamed of praying and going before God because of it… For years, i’ve asked for the grace of God the Holy Spirit; for him to send his angels to minister and block the evils that tempt me, but i always fail on doing so.

There’s a ton of stuff in your post, and I wish I could respond to all of it. But I’m just going to focus on what I’ve quoted.

Just to give you a slightly different perspective on this:

This is actually a great example of someone praying for something, but yet expecting the prayer to be answered in one way, while God is answering it in a different way.

Unfortunately, chastity is a habit. But I think folks want to be granted chastity by the means of simply having all temptations removed. Now, sometimes, in some cases, I’m sure that happens. But the reality is that this habit is best formed by having temptations and consistently resisting them.

Now, you say that you can’t resist them. But we know from Holy Scripture that this is not so. God does not permit you or me or anyone to be tempted beyond our ability to resist. Likewise, He provides the grace to resist the temptations.

Again I’ll say it: chastity is formed by resisting temptations to lust, and, IMHO, it’s unwise to desire **both **chastity and a total elimination of all sexual desire.

Furthermore, temptations have lots of other wonderful things they can provide us with. To name just one: think of all the times we’ve said yes to temptations in the past. Well, being able to say no to them is a means through which we can make reparation. Temptations actually give us a chance to make right our bad decisions!

They also help is to rely on God’s grace, and not on our own strength. They help us to be humble, insofar as knowing what our limitations are.

Furthermore, they help us to actually prove our love for God! You say you want to love God, that you want a deeper relationship with Him. But, so often, we say these things but we don’t really mean them. When the rubber hits the road, we do what we really want, and we follow the path that we actually want to tread.

Well, in temptation, we can develop the habit of putting aside ourselves and our selfish motivations and actually, in action, love God.

So yes, I would cut God some slack. God has plenty of reasons for doing what He’s doing. But in all of this, we do need to accept responsibility for our actions, and we do need to practice putting our trust in Him.

Christianity is easy breezy when everything is going well, but this is not what Christ intended when He talked about taking up our crosses and following Him. Have you seen the Passion of the Christ? Do you remember the scene where Jesus meets His mother while He’s on the way to Calvary, a bruised a bloody mess? Behold, I make all things new. Christ sanctified our suffering and our difficulties, but we MUST follow Him.

We need to do that, especially as men. We need to learn to sacrifice ourselves and our emotions and our feelings and our desires … and put them all aside in order to pursue that which is arduous, through God’s grace. We need to find that Christian masculinity, and learn to fight, not simply to cower before our problems.

Behold, I make all things new.

 

[cisco_1]

This is actually a great example of someone praying for something, but yet expecting the prayer to be answered in one way, while God is answering it in a different way.

Yes, a different way. That is the reason why the anger is there… how long should i be praying, how many saints and how many should i go to? The answer i have been getting is a “no…”. What different way can there be that i can take it in a positive way?

Furthermore, temptations have lots of other wonderful things they can provide us with. To name just one: think of all the times we’ve said yes to temptations in the past. Well, being able to say no to them is a means through which we can make reparation. Temptations actually give us a chance to make right our bad decisions!

This is all really easy. There is a reason why these are very hard to just cut, these act like depressants… a false escape from the negative feelings inside because nothing positive has been happening for years.

They also help is to rely on God’s grace, and not on our own strength. They help us to be humble, insofar as knowing what our limitations are.

And again, how long?

Furthermore, they help us to actually prove our love for God! You say you want to love God, that you want a deeper relationship with Him. But, so often, we say these things but we don’t really mean them. When the rubber hits the road, we do what we really want, and we follow the path that we actually want to tread. So yes, I would cut God some slack. God has plenty of reasons for doing what He’s doing. But in all of this, we do need to accept responsibility for our actions, and we do need to practice putting our trust in Him.

What makes you think that i don’t really mean it? For many years i’ve been struggling, praying over and over again…to even going here occassionally to ask for prayers, for many years. I don’t want to lose my faith because I do love God, but slowly i’m losing it and developing anger. I don’t get why the people who put me down are the ones who seemed bless, they never believed in god… if they did, they woudn’t threaten to physically hurt me or socially shame me, yet they get the good success in life? You can make the claim that i am the bad guy for being angry at that, but i don’t understand how anybody can not start questioning how you are viewed when they see the same thing.

 

[Polyphony]

What makes you think that i don’t really mean it?

Because very few of us really do, Cisco. Even the best of us are weak.

Most of us love Jesus when things are going well, and we get angry at Him when things aren’t going well. Only a very small percentage of people are able to say Blessed be God at all times. Only a few love Jesus as passionately and as madly as they can.

Can I offer you a friendly suggestion? Go and read John 15, slowly, asking the Holy Spirit to help you. Forget about your sufferings for now, simply read. And I will ask you, when you have frustrations and pain and suffering, to remember your friend Polyphony here on CAF, and please pray for me. I will pray for you, too.

 

[cisco_1]

Because very few of us really do, Cisco. Even the best of us are weak.

Most of us love Jesus when things are going well, and we get angry at Him when things aren’t going well. Only a very small percentage of people are able to say Blessed be God at all times. Only a few love Jesus as passionately and as madly as they can.

That explanation isn’t as simple or unintelligent as you put it. It’s not anger or discouragement based off just simple “bad things”, but negatives that have been in someones life for years.

Nevertheless, i appreciate your help and answers, and the link.