I'm losing my faith

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cisco_1

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Hello, i’m making a thread because I am very stressed for a long number of years. I’m on the brink of losing my faith. I’m not saying that I’m going into Atheism, because Atheism fully rejects the existence of any form of god… what I am losing is my belief of him being a God of prayer. The loving God we are made to believe.

For a very long time, I’ve been very lonely. I’ve been hoping for a close unit of friends, a good relationship, and much more a future in my career. None of this has been happening and I’ve been slipping into sin such as trying to find something to make me happy. I hate these cheap routes of happiness because they are sins. Masturbation, Smoking, to even the temptation of finding prostitutes to help me release. It’s been a hard battle for many years, and I’ve been praying to God for help. For happiness. But for so long I have not been answered.

How can I believe in a God of prayer, when there are so many people who have it worse yet are not getting their prayers answered… what more for mine? What is the use of praying and worshiping God to be honest?
 
Seek in the interecession of Mama Mary.

It took me 10 years before God answered my prayers just as St. Monica prayed for 10 years before her son, St. Augustine, got converted.
 
Forgive me if I’m reading this all wrong here, or if my reply comes across as harsh. Your post seems to be focused only on self, career and happiness, rather than on God. I believe that if we shift our focus onto God and others, we will attain our happiness. The Holy Spirit is the real source of joy.
Psalm 37:4 Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.

It seems to me that you’re still a slave to sin. You haven’t renounced your old ways. You’re talking about masturbation and prostitution, so you’re thinking of women as objects rather than as God’s children, as well as of your own passions. It doesn’t say catholicism at the top, so I’m not sure what your faith is, but it might be a good idea to talk with a Priest as they can remain celibate, and will have counselled others with this issue. Either way, you need some guidance from somebody.

Regarding temptation to sin… we have been given everything we need to avoid sin. It just requires practice, and the Sacraments, and prayer. As someone who struggles with masturbation too, the things that have helped me, so far, have been:
  1. the realisation that it offends God.
  2. the Bible verse 1 Corinthians 10:13 which tells us that no temptation is too great that we cannot overcome it.
  3. noticing certain triggers to my behaviour and avoiding them.
  4. praying the Rosary.
  5. putting my trust in God to help me.
  6. being truly sorry about it.
  7. feeling shame while confessing.
  8. (I’ve only considered this more recently due to praying the Rosary) that Jesus suffered so much in the flesh with the scourging at the pillar for our sins of the flesh, our impurity.
Loneliness and aloneness are not the same thing. Loneliness is often self imposed.

My apologies if this isn’t the kind of advice you need/are looking for.
 
I shall pray for you Cisco_1
Please don’t give up on Jesus after all He has done for us.

God doesn’t want us to be lonely and maybe you should seek out the company of others who put their trust in Him rather than abandoning faith and risking the company of people who may lead you to an even greater form of loneliness.
 
First there is the putting God first issue, in which in JFK fashion we are to ask not what God can do for us, but what we can donfor God…

Second in living the Godly life we should fond ourselves in the following situations:

Money and time spent on prostitutes = money and time that could have been spent dating

Desire for improved carreer = efforts put in

Want a mate? Why not be at the gym glorifying your body? On this one you will get all the anti-shallow people etc… but if you are not physically fit and are not an invalid it is basically our fault period. Even wheel chair people and amputees run marathons and workout and eat right… so the excuses are excuses period.

If you are doing your real best at work, your best at home, and your best at everything it falls into place.

On paper I am an okay person and on the bell curve system I am doing great but have “problems”. 90% of said problems are my fault as are everyone else’s.

It reminds me of when someone says they can’t do something trivial becuase of age and then you can point to someone who did 100000x more at an older age. While actual ailment or limitation might makebyou unable to be “the best” in comparison to someone of greatness, 99% of the time the person citing age is also LAZY.

Sloth, gluttony… 2 most common sins, so common even hardcore (everything is a sin) type catholics make every excuse for gluttonous sloths.

You ever take extra breaks at work? Do you study your field? Even if you say work at a walmart… you walk around 30 mins after work to learn the isles? You could be freaking fantastic, you could have every customer say “wow mr. Manager, that guy is grrreat!!!” Or do you clock in and out and give them THEIR monies worth? When themat assistant management position comes open is it God’s fault you didn’t get it? Then the subsequent management position?

Let’s say you work at wally world and put in maximum effort as I described… you eat healthy, you work out, and you if able either study things for knowledge or certification. You attend church and volunteer free time among such circles. You really sit there and say that within a year or two your life won’t be better? And see here is the beauty, when you say “I’m Catholic” what does the world see? Someone who’s very existence glorifies God, God the guy who told us to do these things… looks a bit enticing in this person I suggested you be doesn’t he?
 
cisco_1 said:
For a very long time, I’ve been very lonely. I’ve been hoping for a close unit of friends, a good relationship, and much more a future in my career. None of this has been happening and I’ve been slipping into sin such as trying to find something to make me happy. I hate these cheap routes of happiness because they are sins…

How can I believe in a God of prayer, when there are so many people who have it worse yet are not getting their prayers answered… what more for mine? What is the use of praying and worshiping God to be honest?
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A few first thoughts.
  1. Mortal Sins are not “cheap routes of happiness” but expensive routes to unhappiness and death. They simply do not involve actual happiness but are contrary to such.
  2. Often our approach to prayer of petition tends to approach God as though God were a “vending machine”. There can be many misunderstandings regarding prayer. Does God hear our prayers and answer them? Yes. But not always in the ways that we think are good for us.
  3. God also gives us the dignity of being a kind of cause - cooperating - not only in our praying - but in our working - our acting. For example seeking out good friends - say a good Catholic group…making the choice to go to a good School…seeking out a good solid orthodox internet Catholic Site to meet a future spouse etc…seeking out good Catholic Counsel etc.
  4. Your heart - your whole self - is yes* “made for happiness”* - and though there are “lesser” hopes and good aspects of happiness in natural life (not sins) - even these will not satisfy ones desire for happiness.
The things you mention (a close unit of friends, a good relationship, and much more a future in my career) are of that kind (to various degrees). They do not - bring that lasting full happiness your made for. Yes they are good - and are part of a true kind of happiness - but even the greatest among those mentioned - the Sacrament of Marriage - will not bring that* full happiness your made for. Even with the perfect wife and perfect family- there will always be that “not yet”. There is more happiness. Even the greatest human joys here do not satisfy that “desire”. What or who does? God. As St. Augustine wrote “our hearts are restless until they rest in you”*.
  1. From your last question there too it seems that your have yet to come to know Christ …to know the Father…to know the Holy Spirit – in a deeper way. One a human level think about if your wife did not do all that you thought she should and you said “What is the use of being married …of having a wife?”. It seems you have yet to come to know and have the personal relationship with Christ…you have yet to come to be able to say “Abba Father” to the Father…to know your being a son in the Son…to know the Holy Spirit …to know in a more intimate relationship …
“Faith opens us to knowing and welcoming the real identity of Jesus, his newness and oneness, his word, as a source of life, in order to live a personal relationship with him. Knowledge of the faith grows, it grows with the desire to find the way and in the end it is a gift of God who does not reveal himself to us as an abstract thing without a face or a name, because faith responds to a Person who wants to enter into a relationship of deep love with us and to involve our whole life.”

~ Pope Benedict XVI (Sunday, 14 August 2011)

“Happy are you who believe!” (cf 1 Peter 2:7). Let us turn to Jesus! He alone is the way that leads to eternal happiness, the truth who satisfies the deepest longings of every heart, and the life who brings ever new joy and hope, to us and to our world."

~ Pope Benedict XVI (Homily at Yankee Stadium)

“Being Christian is not the result of an ethical choice or a lofty idea, but the encounter with an event, a person, which gives life a new horizon and a decisive direction.”

~ Pope Benedict XVI Deus Caritas Est

“I invite all Christians, everywhere, at this very moment, to a renewed personal encounter with Jesus Christ, or at least an openness to letting him encounter them; I ask all of you to do this unfailingly each day. No one should think that this invitation is not meant for him or her…”

~ Pope Francis (Joy of the Gospel)
 
Hold fast to Jesus of Nazareth the Christ and Risen Lord!

He loves you! He is the Way the Truth and the Life!

Even in difficulties and even in darkness – he is the Good Shepherd.

In him (and thus in his Church) is* true life!*

This true life - this real life - begins here - and but is fulfilled in heaven and later in the resurrection of the body and new heavens and new earth.
 
A few excerpts from Spe Salvi of Pope Benedict.

“Augustine also says: looking more closely, we have no idea what we ultimately desire, what we would really like. We do not know this reality at all; even in those moments when we think we can reach out and touch it, it eludes us. “We do not know what we should pray for as we ought,” he says, quoting Saint Paul (Rom 8:26). All we know is that it is not this. Yet in not knowing, we know that this reality must exist. “There is therefore in us a certain learned ignorance (docta ignorantia), so to speak”, he writes. We do not know what we would really like; we do not know this “true life”; and yet we know that there must be something we do not know towards which we feel driven.”

…

“In this sense it is true that anyone who does not know God, even though he may entertain all kinds of hopes, is ultimately without hope, without the great hope that sustains the whole of life (cf. Eph 2:12). Man’s great, true hope which holds firm in spite of all disappointments can only be God—God who has loved us and who continues to love us “to the end,” until all “is accomplished” (cf. Jn 13:1 and 19:30). Whoever is moved by love begins to perceive what “life” really is. He begins to perceive the meaning of the word of hope that we encountered in the Baptismal Rite: from faith I await “eternal life”—the true life which, whole and unthreatened, in all its fullness, is simply life. Jesus, who said that he had come so that we might have life and have it in its fullness, in abundance (cf. Jn 10:10), has also explained to us what “life” means: “this is eternal life, that they know you the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom you have sent” (Jn 17:3). Life in its true sense is not something we have exclusively in or from ourselves: it is a relationship. And life in its totality is a relationship with him who is the source of life. If we are in relation with him who does not die, who is Life itself and Love itself, then we are in life. Then we “live”.”

…

“Let us summarize what has emerged so far in the course of our reflections. Day by day, man experiences many greater or lesser hopes, different in kind according to the different periods of his life. Sometimes one of these hopes may appear to be totally satisfying without any need for other hopes. Young people can have the hope of a great and fully satisfying love; the hope of a certain position in their profession, or of some success that will prove decisive for the rest of their lives. When these hopes are fulfilled, however, it becomes clear that they were not, in reality, the whole. It becomes evident that man has need of a hope that goes further. It becomes clear that only something infinite will suffice for him, something that will always be more than he can ever attain.”

“Let us say once again: we need the greater and lesser hopes that keep us going day by day. But these are not enough without the great hope, which must surpass everything else. This great hope can only be God, who encompasses the whole of reality and who can bestow upon us what we, by ourselves, cannot attain. The fact that it comes to us as a gift is actually part of hope.”

~ Pope Benedict XVI

w2.vatican.va/content/benedict-xvi/en/encyclicals/documents/hf_ben-xvi_enc_20071130_spe-salvi.html
 
Hold fast to Jesus of Nazareth the Christ and Risen Lord!!

He loves you! He is the Way the Truth and the Life!

Even in difficulties and even in darkness – he is the Good Shepherd.

In him (and thus in his Church) is* true life!*

This true life - this real life - begins here - and but is fulfilled in heaven and later in the resurrection of the body and new heavens and new earth.

I suggest making an appointment with a Priest. It is good to have on going counsel and that is part of what they are there for - to help us all in our struggles.

Also:

Pray repeatedly through your day:

Jesus I believe in you, I hope in you, I love you - increase my faith, hope and love.

And
*
Come Lord Jesus!*

And

Come Holy Spirit.
 
sudy said:
Forgive me if I’m reading this all wrong here, or if my reply comes across as harsh. Your post seems to be focused only on self, career and happiness, rather than on God. I believe that if we shift our focus onto God and others, we will attain our happiness. The Holy Spirit is the real source of joy.
Psalm 37:4 Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.

It seems to me that you’re still a slave to sin. You haven’t renounced your old ways. You’re talking about masturbation and prostitution, so you’re thinking of women as objects rather than as God’s children, as well as of your own passions. It doesn’t say catholicism at the top, so I’m not sure what your faith is, but it might be a good idea to talk with a Priest as they can remain celibate, and will have counselled others with this issue. Either way, you need some guidance from somebody.

Regarding temptation to sin… we have been given everything we need to avoid sin. It just requires practice, and the Sacraments, and prayer. As someone who struggles with masturbation too, the things that have helped me, so far, have been:
  1. the realisation that it offends God.
  2. the Bible verse 1 Corinthians 10:13 which tells us that no temptation is too great that we cannot overcome it.
  3. noticing certain triggers to my behaviour and avoiding them.
  4. praying the Rosary.
  5. putting my trust in God to help me.
  6. being truly sorry about it.
  7. feeling shame while confessing.
  8. (I’ve only considered this more recently due to praying the Rosary) that Jesus suffered so much in the flesh with the scourging at the pillar for our sins of the flesh, our impurity.
Loneliness and aloneness are not the same thing. Loneliness is often self imposed.

My apologies if this isn’t the kind of advice you need/are looking for.
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I have been to confession, the priest has told me to seek counciling… but that cost a lot of money in New York. Yes, i am a slave to sin and I’ve been praying for freedom but to no avail. Loneliness is by far the biggest trigger.

I’ve done all 8 for many years.
 
cisco_1 said:
I have been to confession, the priest has told me to seek counciling… but that cost a lot of money in New York.
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Seek out a Priest too for counseling. On going meetings. (tis free)

Also contact “Catholic Charities” they have such and can work with you regarding ability to pay.

Also seek out good Catholic groups - lots in NY
 
Oh and I forgot to mention maybe you pile on guilt? You mentioned smoking in your list of sins…we are not protestants 😛 but if you have a list of “sins” that weigh you down mentally, but are not even sins…well then get the weight off 🙂
 
LethalMouse said:
Oh and I forgot to mention maybe you pile on guilt? You mentioned smoking in your list of sins…we are not protestants 😛 but if you have a list of “sins” that weigh you down mentally, but are not even sins…well then get the weight off 🙂
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Yes that can be a good point. Though yes smoking can be sinful. Important to note that too.
 
I feel my faith weaken sometimes and I beginning to loose my faith. But, I always thought to myself…who am I that I would loose my faith in our Lord? when I pray, our Lord helps me again.
Pray, ask our Lord and our Lady to help you to pray.

You are in my prayers as well.:knight1:
 
I’m sorry that I’m a little short on time right now but I did read what you wrote and what the others posters have written too.

Bookcat’s suggestion about the free counselling of the Priest is very important. If your own Priest is somehow reluctant or short of time, go see another Priest. Our Priests are here to help us. Lethalmouse’ view is important too… the part about doing something proactive about your situation if you’re not happy with an area of your life, as well as the point about seeking dating opportunities.

If we’re not happy with a certain aspect of our life, we have to do something about it. If you’re lonely, join some free groups, if cost is an issue. Take up some hobbies. Find groups for like-minded people… things that actually interest you. Loneliness is often a self inflicted burden… oftentimes we’re just too reluctant to go out into the world and open ourselves up to other people for fear of getting hurt. Church groups cost nothing btw.

Sorry again for the lack of time.
 
Lion_IRC said:
I shall pray for you Cisco_1
Please don’t give up on Jesus after all He has done for us.

God doesn’t want us to be lonely and maybe you should seek out the company of others who put their trust in Him rather than abandoning faith and risking the company of people who may lead you to an even greater form of loneliness.
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^ Such a great point.

Cisco, don’t give up… This is part of the fight. We fail, but God’s love it greater than us.

A non-Catholic (but Christian) lady once told me that in Scripture we are told we are bought at a great price… What Jesus did for us- What God gave up and went through for us… She said Who doesn’t ever buy something and not take it home with them? You don’t leave your purchase on the counter of the store after you buy it. You are sure to take it home with you… especially if you paid a huge price for it. That is what God did for you, lovely soul. God loves you. Fix your gaze on Him and eternity.

Trials will come and go. This is human and thank God for them- think of how an athlete works to obtain a goal… even if he falls short, he still gained through the process. All can be thankful for this… and so we can Thank God in this way (easier said than done, I know). This angers the enemy when we cling to God in trials, even with our mistakes (St. Therese of the Little Flower once mentioned this)… It pleases God and in turn you will be rewarded for all that you’ve done- someday. Maybe not here… but think of the saints and what they went through- do you not hear them cheering for you? Like brothers and sisters, calling out with enthusiastic voices to encourage you to keep on during a race? Do meditate on heaven and what it would be like to be in the presence of God- love. (real stuff, not the fake fill you up one moment and leave you both more devoid after and also with more thirst- you are assured you won’t be happy ever if you give up.)

As Lion said here, if you give up you will be trading that which is lesser for something that is greater. You may feel like giving up, but if you do, you’ll notice it wasn’t worth it anyway… the giving up part- you’ll realize you don’t want to give up, though you will want ease for your pain. (Side note- a little serious here- but I’m reminded of those stories of those who attempted suicide and each and every one of them said after they made the leap that they knew it was the worst decision they ever made and felt sorry about it and wished they had not chosen it. This goes along with what is said here, which is why I mention it, extreme as it is.) It is true, loneliness hurts, - Jesus sweat blood He was so alone before His trial. Bless God! Love God. The enemy can’t stay around very long at all when you do that. Just keep doing it. Keep your mind on things that are good, but its ok to let yourself feel the pain too- just unite it to Jesus. Its safer that way.

I do not know of anything anymore except faith. There is nothing else but it. You know those things you mentioned do not really satisfy like the Lord does. … and yes, we still fail after that. Getting back up is difficult, but like a child who wants to walk, its always happy when it sees it can do something! I believe God will help you today.
Code: 
Having said all that, DO take it easy on yourself.  When an athlete fails, and keeps failing, or is even tempted to give up, or needs rest...  its more important for that athlete to be at ease with oneself than to press on harder and possibly hurt themselves (which would be pride)  -plus we can't expect to raise to the heights by our own doing.  God does not wish our destruction, but he does wish us the best, for ourselves, like a good father.   Its better to tread water where you are at than sink if moving forward is not an option.   How would you feel if you saw your child struggling?  Christ feels the same.. though sometimes we are held in the 'refiners fire' (Scripture again) and it hurts,  but its for our good, though we can't understand it.  Take rests when you can, dear one of God.
Sometimes we see others being ‘happy’ and getting ‘good’ things- would you envy them if you saw it vomited up through their nose in large quantities later? How would you feel if you saw their souls in hell? (tremble at the thought, with sorrow) We truly can’t judge- maybe they are good at appearances? (Have you ever done the same?- I mean in that we all do that from time to time- I don’t mean that question in regards to hypocrisy). Some are so wretched, they don’t even know. Some are wretched by choice, some are wretched because they truly never experienced God through others to learn about God. Pray for their souls. Seek God’s mercy. Seek more to be loving than perfectionist in our faith walk. As it says in Scripture “Return to your first love”, also “Be still and know that I am God”.

Worshiping God should not be forced… when it gets that way, its the spirit calling out to you “Adam, where are you?” You see, when we sin, we get separated from God. (Not always the case… but I hope you understand, we have to seek and not let the sludge in this life drown out our hope.)

If you received everything next week that you were hoping and praying for… of what would you feel about this episode you feel right now? Countering that thought… what if you received it and then lost it again… then how would you feel? !!! Scary thought, but it happens in life… to all. So keep that in mind as you meditate today.

May God bless you and pray for me too. “Shared joy is a double joy; shared sorrow is half a sorrow”
 
Bookcat said:
Yes that can be a good point. Though yes smoking can be sinful. Important to note that too.
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I think going out of the way to note that appeals to the weighing down. When the clear sins are put in check then worry about tackling the sorta maybe sins. Also I believe they follow suit, start living right and focus on the “important” and you will by default have the lesser fall in line. If he took my above advice smoking would likely wane by nature.
 
Bookcat said:
Yes that can be a good point. Though yes smoking can be sinful. Important to note that too.
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You may not view smoking as a sin but it is definitely a prison that is hard to be freed from. I believe my smoking habits is just for actual stress release.

I’ve been praying, i’ve been here for years hanging in the prayer section asking for prayers. A lot of me is just completely tired of it. Maybe this is what God wants in my life, i don’t like that but what else can i believe? Why would he answer my prayers at this time… people claim that God only answers a yes if it is according to his will, but if all i’ve listed has not been taken out nor remedied by prayer then does this mean, it’s his will?

I’ve been building a lot of anger towards God inside. There are now questions in my mind about how Christians (Whether Catholic or Protestant) view this God of Prayer.

With all the serious negatives in the world that we see today, those people did not have their prayers answered so why should we think that he would answer other problems?
 
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