I'm new and need some help!

  • Thread starter Thread starter justagirl
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
J

justagirl

Guest
Hi, all! šŸ™‚

I recently returned to the Church after a number of years away, and Iā€™m getting Confirmed soon! (I somehow missed getting Confirmed in high school.) About a month after returning to the Church, I first felt a call to religious life. I dismissed it for a while, but over time Iā€™ve gotten more used to it, and now the idea is starting to grow on me and even excite me. I still feel scared and also embarrassed, but I really do think that God is leading me toward religious life. Iā€™ve also had the compliment of having a few (lay-)people ask me whether Iā€™ve considered religious life.

I have no idea what to do now! I think Iā€™ll look into getting a Spiritual Director, but I would love to get any thoughts or advice you have.

Iā€™ve looked at the websites for a couple of groups of Catholic sisters and nuns, but I was hoping you could give me some ideas of where I should look. I donā€™t really know the differences between Franciscans, Dominicans, Capuchins, or any other group. That first moment early on that religious life popped into my head, I had the idea that I should help people to learn about the faith and how to live out the faith. Iā€™m not sure whether that was God talking to me or not! I personally think Iā€™d be pretty happy in any number of ministries, though maybe not nursing or anything like that. I liked habited communities, and the idea of cloistered life really really scares me (but I keep finding myself a bit attracted to itā€¦). It seems like there are some communities that are active-contemplative? Whatā€™s that about? It seems like a nice balance. šŸ™‚

Iā€™m sorry for asking so many questions! I havenā€™t told anyone yet that Iā€™m considering religious life, so Iā€™ve had no one to talk to this about.

I have two other concerns. First, I feel very unworthy of religious life. Iā€™ve been a really big sinner in the past when I was away from the faith, and I still struggle with things, and Iā€™m far from virtuous. This is why Iā€™ve been so reluctant to follow this possible call. I do take my faith seriously. I go to Mass everyday, pray the rosary most days, and I try to take a daily Holy Hour. Are nuns/sisters really virtuous (as in, have inclinations ordered toward the good)? Iā€™m someone who is attracted to a couple of sins but am working hard to fight them. Is that OK? :confused:

My last concern ā€“ what is religious life really like? Would I allowed to fly home to visit family sometimes? Would I be able to have friends of the opposite sex, whether laymen or religious/clergy? Would I get to own a personal computer, phone, or iPod? I know those are kind of weird questions, but they are the ones that keep coming up in my head!

Anyway, thank you all in advance for trying to tackle some of my random worries!! I really appreciate it! šŸ™‚
 
Check out the Schoenstatt Sisters, a habited that promotes a family life of prayer.
I have known many sisters and they are all very normal people with an astounding love for Jesus. Some very funny woman. and if you are in need of technology, it is available, they are not in the dark ages!
Keep looking and exploring, if Jesus is calling you, he will accept you as you are and as you are becoming in Him. Find a vocational director that can guide you. Prayers for you!
 
Hi! Itā€™s nice to see a fellow discerner pop up! šŸ˜ƒ We are here to help you! I am going to try to answer your questions to the best of my ability.

First of all, I understand your fears and anxieties about religious life (especially to the cloister). We have ALL experienced them ourselves. šŸ˜ƒ And please do not feel like you are in this alone. If Christ is calling you to the life of a religious, He will give you the graces necessary to make it possible. You just need to ask Him!

It seems that you have developed a solid prayer life, which is important anytime. Especially for those who are discerning. It would also benefit you to read the lives of the saints in the Church (spiritual reading). One book that Iā€™ve found very helpful recently is St. Teresa of Avilaā€™s ā€œThe Interior Castle.ā€ St. Therese of Lisieux has been a big help to me as well. When I first started discerning religious life, I had no idea which orders to look into. I had never met any Sisters before or had any interaction with religious outside Church. When I saw a movie about St. Therese, I was extremely drawn to the Carmelites, but the cloister just didnā€™t really fit. I was attracted to it, but didnā€™t feel it was my calling. When I started learning about active/contemplative orders, I wondered if there was an order of Carmelites that still lived out in the world. I found my respective community and 3 others. So, all it takes is a bit of searching on your part.

What you might want to do is go on Google and look up the religious spiritualities. These are the ones I know of:

Carmelite
Dominican
Benedictine
Augustinian
Franciscan
Vincentian
Jesuit
Marian
Visitation

Then you also have orders like the Sisters of Life or Missionaries of Charity who donā€™t fit into one specific category.

Here is a book that may help you distinguish the different spiritualities:

amazon.com/Christian-Spirituality-Catholic-Tradition-Jordan/dp/089870068X

Once you find one that you like, you can do a search here:

religiouslife.com/vocationsearch.html

or here:

vocation-network.org/

This website (vocation.com/) has a lot of great information like stories of religious and FAQs (submitted by people like yourself) that you would benefit from.

Definitely consider getting a spiritual director. Mine has helped me tremendously! They really come in handy for the difficult questions.

One suggestion for your perusal:

Franciscan Sisters of the Renewal
franciscansisterscfr.com/

I met them and their main mission is to evangelize and teach others about the Catholic faith. It fits what you said very well.
I have two other concerns. First, I feel very unworthy of religious life. Iā€™ve been a really big sinner in the past when I was away from the faith, and I still struggle with things, and Iā€™m far from virtuous. This is why Iā€™ve been so reluctant to follow this possible call. I do take my faith seriously. I go to Mass everyday, pray the rosary most days, and I try to take a daily Holy Hour. Are nuns/sisters really virtuous (as in, have inclinations ordered toward the good)? Iā€™m someone who is attracted to a couple of sins but am working hard to fight them. Is that OK?
Click to expand...
My last concern ā€“ what is religious life really like? Would I allowed to fly home to visit family sometimes? Would I be able to have friends of the opposite sex, whether laymen or religious/clergy? Would I get to own a personal computer, phone, or iPod? I know those are kind of weird questions, but they are the ones that keep coming up in my head!
Click to expand...
Everyone feels unworthy of the call. Remember, God doesnā€™t call the qualified. He qualifies the called. šŸ˜ƒ As long as you are not acting on the temptations, you donā€™t have anything to worry about. Go to Confession often, too, and that will keep your guard up.

Religious life is a sacrificeā€“but a very good one! If you joined an active/contemplative order or a semi-cloistered order, you would be able to visit your family and your family would visit you. It is ok to have friends of the opposite sex as long as your friends are virtuous and you donā€™t develop any unnecessary attractions towards them.

Religious donā€™t own personal property like computers or iPods. There is one order I know of (semi-cloistered) that lets the Sisters own CD players, but they are non-habited. šŸ˜Š

Please let me know if you need anything! I am praying for all vocations to Holy Mother Church and I am answering the call myself. šŸ˜ƒ I have a Facebook page, so if you need someone to talk to, please let me know! God bless you. :crossrc:
 
Great! Thank you so much! As Iā€™m sure you can tell, I donā€™t know any religious besides my priest. šŸ™‚

Iā€™ve been meaning to read St. Therese, so now I definitely will, and I will look up those communities both of you mentioned!
 
Go for it girl! Every journey has its beginning & there are plenty of websites vocations.org is one I can think of off hand. Take their test for free and click on the orders you maybe interested in and you will get tons of information in your email from all over the country. I noticed that around here thereā€™s been lots of interest in religious and lots of retreats specifically designed for those in the discernment process. Of course you donā€™t really know for sure unless you pursue this. Aside from Carmelite girl look for Sr Helena she is a nun who blogs in here-Iā€™m sure she would love to answer your questions and give you guidence as well.
 
Thanks, Lainey!

CarmeliteGirl, itā€™s so funny that you mentioned the Franciscan Sisters of the Renewal. I went to their website just now and realized that Iā€™ve stumbled upon it a few times before and really liked them each time. šŸ™‚
 
justagirl said:
Thanks, Lainey!

CarmeliteGirl, itā€™s so funny that you mentioned the Franciscan Sisters of the Renewal. I went to their website just now and realized that Iā€™ve stumbled upon it a few times before and really liked them each time. šŸ™‚
Click to expand...
The CFRs are absolutely AMAZING! Iā€™ve considered joining them in the past, but in my heart of hearts, I know I am a Carmelite. šŸ˜‰ I have high respect for them. Definitely look into a vocation retreat with them when you feel itā€™s time! šŸ™‚ Iā€™ll be praying for you!

P.S.ā€“I first met them on a Catholic retreat in FL. Perhaps you could look them up and see if they have a Youth 2000 retreat in your area. Might be a good way to get the ball rolling! šŸ‘
 
šŸ‘‹ Hello, you have definitely come to the right place for help šŸ˜ƒ It might help to make a list of the things that are most important to you. Doing this will help you narrow down your choices. You said you want a habited community so that gets rid of lots of communities. You also donā€™t think you are called to a cloistered community so you can look at the active or active/contemplative communities. You donā€™t want nursing so you can again avoid communities where that is the main ministry such as the Hawthorne Dominicans or Little Sisters of the Poor. I found this website recently. Hope you find it useful

consecrated-life.org/roman-catholic-communities-in-the-united-states/catholic-communities-by-state/
 
miniquedoes said:
šŸ‘‹ Hello, you have definitely come to the right place for help šŸ˜ƒ It might help to make a list of the things that are most important to you. Doing this will help you narrow down your choices. You said you want a habited community so that gets rid of lots of communities. You also donā€™t think you are called to a cloistered community so you can look at the active or active/contemplative communities. You donā€™t want nursing so you can again avoid communities where that is the main ministry such as the Hawthorne Dominicans or Little Sisters of the Poor. I found this website recently. Hope you find it useful

consecrated-life.org/roman-catholic-communities-in-the-united-states/catholic-communities-by-state/
Click to expand...
Wow! Thatā€™s one I didnā€™t even know existed! Thank you! šŸ‘
 
CarmeliteGirl25 said:
Wow! Thatā€™s one I didnā€™t even know existed! Thank you! šŸ‘
Click to expand...
Yeah I came across it like last week. I donā€™t even remember how. Guess it was the Holy Spirit šŸ˜› I really like it too because it breaks it down by state
 
That site is so helpful, Mini! Iā€™m going through it now by Order. Iā€™m just looking at a couple of communities each from the Augustinians, Benedictines, etc. to try to see the differences.
 
On the very bottom of the Vocations page there is a list of Moderators that you can send Private Messages to. You could choose Theresa Martin or Patrick Eastin by clicking on their name. You could send them the link and tell them that someone suggested it would make a good resource for the STICKY section. Ask if they would consider it.:tiphat:
 
onetruechurch said:
On the very bottom of the Vocations page there is a list of Moderators that you can send Private Messages to. You could choose Theresa Martin or Patrick Eastin by clicking on their name. You could send them the link and tell them that someone suggested it would make a good resource for the STICKY section. Ask if they would consider it.:tiphat:
Click to expand...
Just did it now. Thanks for your help šŸ˜‰
 
justagirl said:
Hi, all! šŸ™‚

I have two other concerns. First, I feel very unworthy of religious life. Iā€™ve been a really big sinner in the past when I was away from the faith, and I still struggle with things, and Iā€™m far from virtuous. This is why Iā€™ve been so reluctant to follow this possible call. I do take my faith seriously. I go to Mass everyday, pray the rosary most days, and I try to take a daily Holy Hour. Are nuns/sisters really virtuous (as in, have inclinations ordered toward the good)? Iā€™m someone who is attracted to a couple of sins but am working hard to fight them. Is that OK?
Click to expand...
Hello justagirl,

If you stick around this site you will get the answers to your questions. Religious life is a call initiated by God and God calls saints and sinners alike. There is a lot of misconceptions out there about religious life. It is a beautiful life if it is the vocation God intends for you. There is plenty of time for you to explore and gather more information. In the meantime, try to create a prayerful and sacramental life. Frequent the Sacraments and be faithful to your prayer life. You can start doing all these now and not wait until you become a Sister. God bless you!
 
Thank you, Sister Helena! I will definitely try to continue to improve my prayer life. šŸ™‚
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top