I'm new here, and I'm a young single mom trying not to feel hopeless

[Zzyzx_Road]

The OP could consider expanding her search by considering men 3 to 8 years older than herself. Her chances of finding someone willing to both start a family and accept her son are probably better if she does that.

 

[Hoosier_Daddy]

I have lurked here occasionally for about two years, since having my son & returning to the Church. I thank God for giving me my son even in the middle of my sin, in some sort of way to “make all things new.” I see things so much clearer now. Which is kind of scary.

I am 26 and there aren’t many (practicing) Catholics my age where I live and I just want to vent.

I live in a very liberal city with universities and lots of fresh, new, post-American-America culture. I am afraid I will never have the future or life that I feel in my bones I should have. I want to be married (REAL married. Catholic married.) I only know one Catholic young man, but we are just friends and he is pursuing the priesthood, so, yeah, no.

Obviously, I have been around several blocks in my 26 short years, and wound up a single mother when my son’s father left me 2 months after he was born. He was actually a lovely man, BY SECULAR STANDARDS, and we had a pretty impressive Godless relationship for a whopping 3 years prior (pretty impressive for a young faithless couple). The problem is that’s all there seems to BE anymore. I don’t know anyone who wants to get married, male or female. Most people my age SAY they want marriage, but they mean they want it when they are 35 or 40, after they become rich and have a series of illicit romances in Paris or whatever it is they’re waiting for.

And I want to be a mother. I want to CONTINUE to be a mother. Even with the incredibly scant possibility that I might find someone to marry during my fecund years, men my age don’t seem to want to share anything or help anyone. Even in marriage, I would be expected by all of my peers to make every cent a man would make, and to strive for that as the main objective in my life, or something. I guess.

I am inclined to despair over this stuff. I am in college because I have to be, because I need to be able to get a job with benefits, because I am all my son has, and I am so sad that I have to go out 40 hours a week that I should be spending with my son, and I am so sad that nobody values the family anymore. Every red blood cell in my body aches and screams for marriage and pregnancy and proper motherhood. And the culture I live in is hell-bent on making that impossible.

Rant over. Thanks for your time.

Welcome to the forums! Honestly it sounds like you are doing all the right things right now. But I want to just add a couple of things. 1) I know it can seem like there are NO guys out there, or that ALL of the pickings are slim, but that is not accurate. There are many good Catholic men who can come into your life.
2) That being said, you have so much on your plate right now with motherhood, school and paying the bills that “men” should not be anything you are seeking right now. Many times women in your situation think a man will solve or help alleviate the stresses. Many times they only add to them and you risk introducing your child to several adult men that will not be healthy for them.
3) Go to adoration. A LOT! Find where it is offered and when and go at different times. Take your child with you. Do not worry if they make child noises just try to keep them as calm as possible. Jesus is what a Child needs in a father. And you never know, perhaps at one of those adoration times, a miracle will walk in and sit next to you. I know several people who have met this way. But if you take your longings, struggles and worries to Him in the Most Holy Sacrament, and teach your child that this is the norm (adoring Jesus) Only good will result.

Again, welcome and blessings!

 

[Xantippe]

1. That being said, you have so much on your plate right now with motherhood, school and paying the bills that “men” should not be anything you are seeking right now. Many times women in your situation think a man will solve or help alleviate the stresses. Many times they only add to them and you risk introducing your child to several adult men that will not be healthy for them.

That’s really important.

A lot of caution is order before introducing your child to a boyfriend. On a secular advice forum that I spend time at, the rule of thumb is something like 6 months to 1 year of dating before introducing the child and the significant other.

 

[Preposterone]

I just wanted to thank you all for your encouragement and wisdom. It is a breath of fresh air to talk to people about this who understand where I’m coming from.