I'm not sure I can come home

[jujubee]

I am really hoping I can get an orthodox answer to my dilemma.

I was raised in the Catholic church and am married to a Protestant (Catholic wedding). We have two young children. After being away from my faith (misunderstanding most of it) and belonging to a Protestant church with my family, I am desperately wanting to come home to the church. My husband is very angry and completely against it. Without going in to long details, it is just really bad right now.

He won’t let me go to church on Sunday or Saturday evenings. He says I can just go whenever I feel like it during the week on a day when the boys are both in school and he doesn’t have to deal with it. I’ve tried to explain the importance of the Sunday obligation but he shuts me off. Even my Catholic mother (who in my adulthood I have realized just how much of the “cafeteria” style she is) tries to advise me that God doesn’t care if I don’t go to Mass on Sundays either. She says I can go and have my “Catholic experience” during the week too.

I know I have a lot to work on in my marriage here, but the focus of my question is what is the right thing to do?

Assuming that for now I am prevented from going to Mass on the weekend and only have the opportunity during the week, should I go but abstain from receiving the Eucharist?

I know I need to consult with a priest. Until I can get to one, I would really appreciate some guidance on what is the right thing to do. I want so much and really need to receive the Eucharist, but I have come too far in my journey home to just play by the rules I make up for myself. Might as well stick with the Protestants if I’m going to do that.

Thanks.

 

[Claire_from_DE]

Call your parish and make an appointment to go to confession when your children are in school. The priest may be able to make suggestions or give you a temporary dispensation from Sunday mass. Could you take your kids with you to mass? If you combined this with a treat following mass they might be willing and your husband might appreciate a little time to himself.

 

[1ke]

He won’t “let” you go to Church? Do you not drive? I am not understanding why you cannot get to Mass on Saturday or Sunday or how he can prevent you from going? Him not liking it wouldn’t stop me. If he didn’t want to watch the kids I’d take them with me.

I can understand wanting to keep the peace, but I wouldn’t let him keep me from Mass.

But, as to your question-- yes you should talk to your priest about this situation. He can guide you.

I am sorry your husband is being so unreasonable.

 

[Br.Rich_SFO]

I am really hoping I can get an orthodox answer to my dilemma.

I was raised in the Catholic church and am married to a Protestant (Catholic wedding). We have two young children. After being away from my faith (misunderstanding most of it) and belonging to a Protestant church with my family, I am desperately wanting to come home to the church. My husband is very angry and completely against it. Without going in to long details, it is just really bad right now.

He won’t let me go to church on Sunday or Saturday evenings. He says I can just go whenever I feel like it during the week on a day when the boys are both in school and he doesn’t have to deal with it. I’ve tried to explain the importance of the Sunday obligation but he shuts me off. Even my Catholic mother (who in my adulthood I have realized just how much of the “cafeteria” style she is) tries to advise me that God doesn’t care if I don’t go to Mass on Sundays either. She says I can go and have my “Catholic experience” during the week too.

I know I have a lot to work on in my marriage here, but the focus of my question is what is the right thing to do?

Assuming that for now I am prevented from going to Mass on the weekend and only have the opportunity during the week, should I go but abstain from receiving the Eucharist?

I know I need to consult with a priest. Until I can get to one, I would really appreciate some guidance on what is the right thing to do. I want so much and really need to receive the Eucharist, but I have come too far in my journey home to just play by the rules I make up for myself. Might as well stick with the Protestants if I’m going to do that.

Thanks.

Visit the parish during the week, attend Mass and speak with the pastor. you have much more than just a religion issue to deal with in your marriage, it seems to be a control issue, and a non-responsible parent problem.

 

[jujubee]

When I say he won’t “let me” it is because he says that he didn’t sign up for this and I am genuinely concerned about him divorcing me if I push and go about this the wrong way. Sometimes when you have two young children the idea of just getting in the car with or without them is not that simple. They don’t need to be put in the middle of our problem any more than they are.

But these are just anonymous boards so there is no way to really explain all the details and emotions in this context. I’ll make an appointment with the priest.

**But I would like my question answered… **should I refrain from the Eucharist during the week or even Sundays if I am not consistantly going to Mass on Sundays?

 

[1ke]

When I say he won’t “let me” it is because he says that he didn’t sign up for this

Actually, you were married in the Catholic Church, so yes he did sign up for this. In the premarital examination he would have been advised of your requirements as a Catholic and the priest should have ascertained at that time that he would not attempt to hinder the practice of your faith or the baptism of your children.

**But I would like my question answered… **should I refrain from the Eucharist during the week or even Sundays if I am not consistantly going to Mass on Sundays?

Yes, you need to refrain from the Eucharist until you have talked to the priest-- and gone to Reconciliation for the time you were away from the Church. And, after you have gone to Reconciliation the priest can guide you on Mass attendance, the Eucharist, etc. Make an appointment and lay out all the issues with him.

 

[palmas85]

When I say he won’t “let me” it is because he says that he didn’t sign up for this and I am genuinely concerned about him divorcing me if I push and go about this the wrong way. Sometimes when you have two young children the idea of just getting in the car with or without them is not that simple. They don’t need to be put in the middle of our problem any more than they are.

But these are just anonymous boards so there is no way to really explain all the details and emotions in this context. I’ll make an appointment with the priest.

**But I would like my question answered… **should I refrain from the Eucharist during the week or even Sundays if I am not consistantly going to Mass on Sundays?

Another glaring example of the wisdom of the Church when She previously forbade such unions.

How many more examples do we need of the carnage that can result from interreligious marriage? I’m not saying they cannot work, but in my time on this board I’ve seen literally hundreds of similar scenarios in which the protestant or other faith spouse is vehemently against Catholicism and actively works to discourage the Catholic spouse from being Catholic. In many cases the Catholic spouse merely gives up and gives in in the the interest of keeping the peace. The Catholic suffers, the children really suffer and the only one who comes out with a whole skin is the non Catholic spouse.

As to your question, YES you should definitely refrain from receiving Holy Communion until you speak with your Priest. He can guide you through this. Attending Mass on Sundays and Holy Days of Obligation is not optional. You HAVE TO GO unless you have a very good reason not to OR, have received permission or dispensation from the Church not to attend.

Now if confession is available during the week you could confess your non attendance, get absolved and receive, but that seems like like you would merely be avoiding the main problem.

Good luck. I’ll pray for you.

 

[Br.Rich_SFO]

When I say he won’t “let me” it is because he says that he didn’t sign up for this and I am genuinely concerned about him divorcing me if I push and go about this the wrong way. Sometimes when you have two young children the idea of just getting in the car with or without them is not that simple. They don’t need to be put in the middle of our problem any more than they are.

But these are just anonymous boards so there is no way to really explain all the details and emotions in this context. I’ll make an appointment with the priest.

**But I would like my question answered… **should I refrain from the Eucharist during the week or even Sundays if I am not consistantly going to Mass on Sundays?

Yes, Go to Mass whenever you can! Get to Confession and then receive Holy Communion as ofter as you can, following your pastors advise.

 

[dulcissima]

Take your children to Mass with you. Call your husband on his bluff. If he is going to divorce you over this, then it is better to know it now. Your wanting to come home may the Holy Spirit calling your attention to serious problems in your marriage that must not be ignored. God is the one that you are going to have to answer to. Why does your husband think that he ranks higher than God?

Are you in an abusive marriage?

 

[strngrnrth]

One of the best things you can do for your children is to live out your beliefs. They will grow up knowing they come from a strong mother.

 

[kage_ar]

Prayers for you.

Speak to your Priest. Perhaps he can suggest a good marriage counselor who can assist. You could try reminding your husband with love of the vows he made, the promises in your marriage.

Pray and pray.

 

[quiet52]

I’m glad for you that you’re seeking to re-connect with our Lord and His Church. Remember that our most important relationship – always – is our relationship with God. We cannot let anyone or anything block that. Please consult with your pastor asap for reinforcement.
And missing Sunday Mass willfully is a mortal sin – you may not receive the Eucharist (but must still Mass) until you have confessed, with the intention of not repeating the sin.
It might be difficult for you to bring your two children with you to Mass, if your husband is uncooperative – but, neither is it an impossible task.
Keep praying – for yourself and for your husband.