I'm not sure if I did the right thing here...(abortion related)

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Whitacre_Girl

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So, I was in school today and I had to make a quick trip to the restroom when I walked into a graffitti stall. A graffitti stall is one where the walls are covered in litlte snippits and opinions the other girls write up on the walls. Well, one girl wrote:

“I think I am really pregnant this time. I am 1 month pregnant and I already have cravings and it’s weird but I can feel it inside me. I am going to abort it. A woman has the right to choose. I don’t think I’ll ever see it as a life.”

I was so agitated (and sleep deprived, so grumpy also) and I took out my big pink eraser and rubbed those words out. It seemed that she was trying to get attention (does ANYONE have cravings before they can even tell if they’re pregnant with a pregnancy test?!?!) and an excuse to talk about murdering children. I finished erasing, but the words were still there. I used my hand to rub the wall until they were smeared. I could still see writing so I wrote my siggy over it (God has to change the heart before he can change a shirt) to cover it up.

Now I feel awful. I essentially censored that girl, but I thought her writing was attention seeking, and I didn’t want someone who was really pregnant to read that and think about abortion.

What are your thoughts? Did I wrong her?
 
While I don’t frequent women’s bathrooms, I think I would have done the same as you did, and replaced it with a statement condemning abortion as point-blank murder. Against someone too small and defenseless to defend him/herself.

If this offends anyone, tough.
 
Ponyguy said:
While I don’t frequent women’s bathrooms, I think I would have done the same as you did, and replaced it with a statement condemning abortion as point-blank murder. Against someone too small and defenseless to defend him/herself.

If this offends anyone, tough.
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You don’t frequent women’s restrooms? Why not ponyguy 😉 Just kidding!

I thought about writing a response on the wall about not murdering your own kid, but my concern was for the women who go into that bathroom that may have a “crisis” pregnancy, and seeing abortion as a positive at all on that wall.
 
Whitacre_Girl said:
I thought about writing a response on the wall about not murdering your own kid, but my concern was for the women who go into that bathroom that may have a “crisis” pregnancy, and seeing abortion as a positive at all on that wall.
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I understand your worry over this. I’ve heard from quite a decent number of pro-lifers (including Catholics) that women with unplanned pregnacies need people to show them that they care and support a decision to keep their baby or give it up for adoption. A ‘hang in there’, ‘don’t be afraid’ message to start with might help. Then consider adding a phone number or address for a local crisis pregnancy that doesn’t advocate abortion and encourage the girl to seek help there. You could offer to pray for her as well.

Talking about murder, however strongly you (and I and many more) feel about the killing of a preborn infant, may make the girl feel you are condemning her as a criminal and may push her further away from keeping the child or giving him/her up for adoption.

Perhaps you could try again: point an arrow to ‘behind’ your signature, and respond to her message in the hope that she’ll see it before doing anything else.

God bless and I hope all turns out okay in the end. 🙂
 
I agree with the previous poster.

The fact that she wrote this on the wall, and said “I don’t think I’ll ever see it as a life,” sounds to me like she is conflicted about it and (perhaps subconsciously) looking for help. I would have written a response on the wall saying something encouraging her to keep her child. Maybe next time you are in that stall, you could write up the number of a crisis pregnancy center (and identify it as such in writing), and something positive like “God loves you and your child,” or something else along those lines that doesn’t mention God, if your school tends to be hostile to religion. Even if it doesn’t reach this particular girl, it could help others who are considering abortion.
 
Whitacre_Girl said:
So, I was in school today and I had to make a quick trip to the restroom when I walked into a graffitti stall. A graffitti stall is one where the walls are covered in litlte snippits and opinions the other girls write up on the walls. Well, one girl wrote:

“I think I am really pregnant this time. I am 1 month pregnant and I already have cravings and it’s weird but I can feel it inside me. I am going to abort it. A woman has the right to choose. I don’t think I’ll ever see it as a life.”

I was so agitated (and sleep deprived, so grumpy also) and I took out my big pink eraser and rubbed those words out. It seemed that she was trying to get attention (does ANYONE have cravings before they can even tell if they’re pregnant with a pregnancy test?!?!) and an excuse to talk about murdering children. I finished erasing, but the words were still there. I used my hand to rub the wall until they were smeared. I could still see writing so I wrote my siggy over it (God has to change the heart before he can change a shirt) to cover it up.

Now I feel awful. I essentially censored that girl, but I thought her writing was attention seeking, and I didn’t want someone who was really pregnant to read that and think about abortion.

What are your thoughts? Did I wrong her?
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That’s a long graffitti! People have a lot more time and space to write junk than when I was young.

If you have the space and time, write:

Human life must be respected and protected absolutely from the moment of conception. From the first moment of his existence, a human being must be recognized as having the rights of a person - among which is the inviolable right of every innocent being to life.

You have nothing to feel bad about.

God bless you,

Steven
 
I think you did the right thing at the time. There’s always that after moment when you think of what you shoudl have said/done.

I’m inclined to think the girl might not really be pregnant as one month is rather early to be sure, and while I wouldnt’ rule it out completely its not usual to have cravings at that stage.

In regards to the response I’d think its best to write something that focusses on teh woman, like “abortion will hurt you”, or “if you end that life, it will destory your’s”, Women in crisis pregnancies tend to respond more positively to “pro-woman” pro-life slogans. Like “abortion: one dead, one wounded” and “women deserve better than abortion”. Things like “its murder” or “abortion stops a beating heart” seems to focus completely on the child and women in crisis can see it as the pro-lifer not caring about her. We cannot save the child if we do not save the mother.

There are a lot of liberal posters in NZL toilets, I saw one that said “condoms: the best way to prevent unplanned pregnancy and STDs” there were a few scribbled comments about “what about the depot” and “what about whatever”, So I added “what about saying no? That’s 100% effective!”

But really, all you can do right now is pray. Perhaps pray everyday for the next nine months that Our Lady interceeds before God on behalf of this child, after all, Mary chose life!
 
StevenFrancis said:
If you have the space and time, write:

Human life must be respected and protected absolutely from the moment of conception. From the first moment of his existence, a human being must be recognized as having the rights of a person - among which is the inviolable right of every innocent being to life.
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That statement is true but, in my opinion as a college aged woman, it does not address in an effective way the situation of the young woman (or other young women) who are confused, concerned about their futures, and have heard again and again the message that it is just a lump of cells and will ruin their life if they don’t get rid of it. A general political statement like this will most likely be shrugged off.
 
Whitacre_Girl said:
I was so agitated (and sleep deprived, so grumpy also) and I took out my big pink eraser and rubbed those words out. It seemed that she was trying to get attention (does ANYONE have cravings before they can even tell if they’re pregnant with a pregnancy test?!?!) and an excuse to talk about murdering children. I finished erasing, but the words were still there. I used my hand to rub the wall until they were smeared. I could still see writing so I wrote my siggy over it (God has to change the heart before he can change a shirt) to cover it up.

Now I feel awful. I essentially censored that girl, but I thought her writing was attention seeking, and I didn’t want someone who was really pregnant to read that and think about abortion.

What are your thoughts? Did I wrong her?
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First of all, you didn’t censor anyone. Graffiti on the bathroom walls isn’t considered freedom of speech 😉 it’s considered vandalism. As far as I’m concerned, you both wronged the janitor in charge of cleaning that up 😛

No, you didn’t wrong her. No one needs to go into the bathroom and read that garbage. You tried your best to wash off the offensive material and couldn’t get it all off. Putting your ‘siggy’ instead didn’t wrong her. You can also add the other comments that other responders posted. I especially liked, “don’t be afraid”. Perhaps if you know of a resource for pregnant women you can add the phone number too.

If it bothers you that you messed up her artwork, grab one of the clorox cleaning pads that come in a soft pack and wash the rest of it off. You don’t owe her bathroom stall space.
 
Student09 said:
I agree with the previous poster.

The fact that she wrote this on the wall, and said “I don’t think I’ll ever see it as a life,” sounds to me like she is conflicted about it and (perhaps subconsciously) looking for help. I would have written a response on the wall saying something encouraging her to keep her child. Maybe next time you are in that stall, you could write up the number of a crisis pregnancy center (and identify it as such in writing), and something positive like “God loves you and your child,” or something else along those lines that doesn’t mention God, if your school tends to be hostile to religion. Even if it doesn’t reach this particular girl, it could help others who are considering abortion.
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Erasure was best. Chances are good that the graffti was a hoax.
You don’t feel a baby moving at one month.
 
You did NOTHING wrong. In fact, what you did was sort of cool! I admire you.
 
Rence said:
First of all, you didn’t censor anyone. Graffiti on the bathroom walls isn’t considered freedom of speech 😉 it’s considered vandalism. As far as I’m concerned, you both wronged the janitor in charge of cleaning that up 😛

No, you didn’t wrong her. No one needs to go into the bathroom and read that garbage. You tried your best to wash off the offensive material and couldn’t get it all off. Putting your ‘siggy’ instead didn’t wrong her. You can also add the other comments that other responders posted. I especially liked, “don’t be afraid”. Perhaps if you know of a resource for pregnant women you can add the phone number too.

If it bothers you that you messed up her artwork, grab one of the clorox cleaning pads that come in a soft pack and wash the rest of it off. You don’t owe her bathroom stall space.
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Rence, that’s a great idea about cleaning it off. I might go into that stall tomorrow and clean it all up. I really don’t like graffitti. It’s costing me tuition dollars every time they repaint.

Thinking back, I REALLY should have written a positive-pro woman response there. It is breaking my heart (wow, I’m actually crying) that I missed a beautiful witnessing opportnity to show he love and charity. Most especially if she was just doing it to rile up pro-lifers.

Pray for me, that I can respond with love and charity more, and pray for me to go in there with clorox wipes and try to get all the pencil and pen off those walls. Maybe I’ll tape up pieces of paper for them to write on instead of the walls.

I will also pray for this young woman. Thank you - *all of you *- who responded. All of your advice was excellent! I will remember it all as resources to respond charitably to pro-death graffitti in the future. I am sure I will see more of it at this school!

P.S. Which works better, bleach wipes or a magic (Mr. Clean) eraser?
 
I believe the “pro-choice” movement is nothing more than propaganda to make money, and most people are too blind to see through their “charitable” acts.
  1. Abortion clinics make $100-$500 per abortion.
  2. Encouraging people to have sex outside of marriage increases the sales of condoms, birth control pills, spermicide, etc.
  3. STDs also cost money to treat, and 1/2 to 2/3 of sexually active girls and women between the ages of 15 and 24 have or have had an STD.
→ Almost every woman who had an abortion later regrets having it/them. But these women are silenced because they are anti-abortion. Who knows about abortion better than a woman who has had one? These women are usually older and have more life experience than a young woman who had an abortion recently (and unwittingly tells her friends to have abortions as well). Chances are, when you are older and gain some perspective in life, you will wish you had kept the baby or had placed it for adoption.

→ Keeping the baby will not “ruin your life.” Your life will take a different path and you will have a beautiful new son or daughter. Most community colleges and universities have some sort of child care program to help parents finish school. And there are other programs that can help you pay for childcare if you can’t afford it on your own. You just have to know where to look, or if there aren’t programs in your area, you can ask your local church and community to help you.

→ Many couples want to adopt babies, so there is no excuse for abortion if you can’t take care of the baby. Older kids are harder to find homes for, but I see ads on Facebook almost every day that are asking for babies to adopt. And sometimes couples go through several babies before they are actually able to adopt a child, since mothers can take their baby back within a certain period of time.

Pro-choice organizations do not actually care about women. They don’t want to deal with, help, or counsel them. Not very family friendly, but then again these are the same people who will applaud you for getting your tubes tied in your 20s for “reducing your carbon footprint.”

… in short, you didn’t do anything wrong by trying to get rid of this vandalism.

Bathroom walls are not a place for propaganda. 👍
 
You did the right thing, and you were pretty charitable about it. I don’t think I would have been as nice.
 
The only way that the pro-life movement is going to succeed is through the genuine charity of Christians shown to women who have had abortions (whether they currently feel sorry about it or not!), and women (and girls) who are thinking about having abortions. It requires an effort to understand them, and the less you have been in their situation, the more effort it will require. It does not require excusing their actions, but it does require humility to acknowledge that we are all sinners who have offended God, and we cannot judge others.

Most pro-choice young women do NOT think of abortion as “murdering a child.” They may suspect on some level that it is a child but it’s a hazy, uncomfortable and invasive idea. I was brought up atheist and pro-choice and know this from my own experience. When I was in the process of becoming more and more pro-life, I read a lot about abortion, and every time I read something about “child-murder” and “pro-abortion propaganda” or about “mothers who kill their children” and such, it made me *not *want to be pro-life or even identify with the movement. What won me over was reading descriptions (on pro-choice websites) of the actual abortion procedures, and looking at pictures of *living *embryos and fetuses. The angry rhetoric of the pro-life movement actually discouraged me for a long time.

I’m not talking about what’s true and what’s not, I am not disputing that it is a child or that abortion causes the death of a child; I am talking about what will reach the minds and hearts of women and turn this painfully divided country into a pro-life country. We should not hide the truth - we have an obligation to express it - but since it is a difficult truth, we should express it in the gentlest manner possible. I say all this in hopes that it will give a different perspective to those who come from a Christian pro-life background and may have trouble (understandably) comprehending how a woman could think, speak, or act this way.

God bless you all. Whitacre Girl, it sounds to me like you are doing the right thing.
 
Student09 said:
That statement is true but, in my opinion as a college aged woman, it does not address in an effective way the situation of the young woman (or other young women) who are confused, concerned about their futures, and have heard again and again the message that it is just a lump of cells and will ruin their life if they don’t get rid of it. A general political statement like this will most likely be shrugged off.
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Okay. The only other thing I can think of is prayer for the women in our lives who are facing stuff. I do that. I hope others do as well,

Peace,

Steve
 
I thought I’d post an update about God’s sense of humor (if that’s what it is. It made me laugh!)

I went back to that bathroom with bleach wipes in hand ready to scrub every piece of graffiti off that bathroom as a self-imposed penance, and the bathroom was being REPAINTED. The stall in question had just been painted clean, and the paint was drying.

Ironic, no? haha
 
LOL, well you were saved the trouble! You can just keep the wipes in your bag or something in case someone else graffitis somewhere you’re at 🙂
 
Rence said:
LOL, well you were saved the trouble! You can just keep the wipes in your bag or something in case someone else graffitis somewhere you’re at 🙂
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Not a bad idea! Only I’ll need to invest in the non costco-sized tubs. 😛
 
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