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Mikaele
Guest
Is anal ‘sex’ a sin? and what about foreplay? - obviously I am asking only in the context of marriage. Thank you in advance
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defenderoftruth
Guest
Weeeell, if you have anal sex and finish ahem there then yes it’s a mortal sin. If you use it as foreplay and finish in the vagina then no it’s not “sinful”-according to CAF’s pastor Fr. Vincent Serpa (he answered another person’s question on “ask an apologist” section a loooooong time ago. They have a book that most CAF people push called “Good news about sex and marriage” (I forgot the exact title I used to own the book) it says that doing that as foreplay or have oral stimulation as foreplay is ok as long as it is finished in the vagina.
Otherwise it’s mortally sinful on it’s own.
NOW I will tell you my opinion that it’s disgusting to have anal sex, it’s dirty-(really it’s a place to rid the body of food waste) and to me it’s no different than two men of the same sex doing that (ie sinful) but supposedly it’s ok as foreplay if you are Roman Catholic. You can increase your chances of having anal problems,-tearing/stretching etc. the husband has an increased risk of bladder infection amongst other things because of the ickiness of it, and in my humble opinion it’s demeaning. Why on earth would a husband and wife who have the opportunity to have sex the normal way want to do such nasty things? Just my .02 cents…
Otherwise it’s mortally sinful on it’s own.
NOW I will tell you my opinion that it’s disgusting to have anal sex, it’s dirty-(really it’s a place to rid the body of food waste) and to me it’s no different than two men of the same sex doing that (ie sinful) but supposedly it’s ok as foreplay if you are Roman Catholic. You can increase your chances of having anal problems,-tearing/stretching etc. the husband has an increased risk of bladder infection amongst other things because of the ickiness of it, and in my humble opinion it’s demeaning. Why on earth would a husband and wife who have the opportunity to have sex the normal way want to do such nasty things? Just my .02 cents…
Mary_Gail_36
New member
Oddly, I cannot find a question to Father Serpa on the topic- Do you have a link, by chance?
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One_Church
Guest
Not sure…but I think this may have been covered in this show (see link). At the very least I would recommend listening to this to get a good understanding of the dangers of doing that:
catholic.com/radio/shows/the-injustice-of-sexual-sin-6174
catholic.com/radio/shows/the-injustice-of-sexual-sin-6174
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defenderoftruth
Guest
No I don’t I sent him a private message Nov. 28, 2006 (it was that long ago) telling him that I disagreed with him. He didn’t answer.
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DoGodsBidding
Guest
The book is indeed called “Good News about Sex & Marriage” and it is written by Christopher West. It is a well written book and I have had my children read it. As noted in the back, it is down-to earth application of Pope John Paul II’s teaching, and it shows how the teachings of the Church on marriage and sexuality make sense for everyone in daily life. I purchased my copy on line.
DGB
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Ana_v
Guest
The word “sex” implies an act that involves penetration of the penis and ejaculation. Therefore, to my knowledge, the answer is “yes”.
However, if you ask, “is anus-penis contact a sin” (such as in foreplay), some contend the answer to be “no”.
I suggest that anal sexual activity (or even vaginal intercourse in which a man enters his wife from behind) is practically animalistic and conducive to a man objectifying his wife.
Consider that in such situations, the man and woman are not looking at each other’s faces. The act is less personal, and it is easy for the man to become almost mechanical, that is, to mentally focus solely on penetrating his wife and act accordingly, and suspend thinking about his wife in terms of friendship, love, and spiritual cohesion.
In Good News About Sex & Marriage, Christopher West addresses the belief that the Church only permits the “Missionary Postion”. He clarifies that, no, the Church has not dictated that this is the only acceptable option of the various forms of intercourse . However, he certainly brings attention to the uniqueness of the missionary position:
" It’s telling, for example, that people speak of rear-entry intercourse as doing it “doggy-style.”
…]
I once heard it said that intimacy means “into-me-see.” If husband and wife are afraid to show their faces to each other during sex, then something’s wrong. They should be able to look deeply into each other’s eyes right at that most vulnerable moment – yes, right at the moment of climar – and rejoice in the mystery of knowing one another so intimately. " (Cincinnati: Servant Books, 2004, p. 96-97)
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FooFee
Guest
Having been afraid of bringing up this subject and now that someone has, can anyone tell me (please forgive me) if the use of rectal insertions; ie: ‘toys’ is sinful within a valid marriage.
I have been told that the Church frowns upon it but is not a sin. As a protestant convert to the catholic faith, I get bombarded by questions like this from my protestant friends. I always want to be able to answer them accurately. Again, forgive me and thank you in advance.
I have been told that the Church frowns upon it but is not a sin. As a protestant convert to the catholic faith, I get bombarded by questions like this from my protestant friends. I always want to be able to answer them accurately. Again, forgive me and thank you in advance.
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defenderoftruth
Guest
AGREED. I think missionary style is the ONLY way to go I find all other ways demeaning.
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VeritasLuxMea
Guest
Oh gosh. I’m not about to give anyone a hard time for their personal opinions but I think that, just IMO, it is such a snooze fest. So if that is the way you see it then you are more than entitled to view it that way. Just as long as everyone knows that it’s not a mandatory Catholic understanding then it’s cool.
We thought it was mandatory (missionary only, no foreplay) for a long time and it totally killed our sex life. We thought it always had to be the same exact thing over and oveeeeeer.
I know it sounds silly to say such a thing killed our sex life but it really did. It became a “formula.” It was drab, as if we were robots… or calculators… there only to fulfill a “function” within extremely narrow parameters, not a loving married couple expressing our love in a natural fashion. Because we were so misinformed, we still have troubles every now and then. It’s like, “oh noooo, I almost touched your [blank],” or “ohhh no, I did [blank], is that a sin?” Ugh.
If you don’t mind me asking, though, how do you avoid that “robotic” feeling if it’s the same position all the time, every time? You don’t ever do anything differently? (Please forgive the question if it is prying, just genuine curiosity on my part.)
Ana v:
Really? He says that? I’m very disappointed. That book was my last refuge to attempt to get a non-paranoid explanation of sexuality from a Catholic perspective. It’s definitely off my must-buy list now.
Sounds like it leads to scrupulosity about sexual intimacy just as much as our upbringing did. What, pray tell, is the “Good” part of the “News” Mr. West speaks of?
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defenderoftruth
Guest
My husband and I prefer looking at eachother and honestly I’m a little self conscience about my body (being on top) he likes missionary and I agree with him…we only use alternate ways when I’m too prego for missionary. Sorry for the TMI everyone.
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jprice66
Guest
Don’t write off the entire book because of that one line. It’s not paranoid or scrupulous in the least, and that bit is just his opinion (and he makes that clear), in the same way that your distaste for the “missionary position” is yours.
Mary_Gail_36
New member
John Kippley has a great book on marital intimacy called “Sex and the Marriage Covenant” written a number of years prior to Christopher West’s book. It’s pretty good.
"Holy Sex " by Greg Popcak is also a good read.
As per the question in the OP, I have yet to read a full endorsement by any Catholic writer on anal intercourse as a form of foreplay.
What I have seen is that theoretically it would not be sinful per se’, but practically speaking there are too many variables(hygienic etc) to make it a licit form of foreplay.
So, I was curious to see the question and answer that was addressed by Father Serpa. Can’t find it.
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Nate13
Guest
forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=153015
Most embarrassing questions have been asked at one point or another haha. If you Google the topic with Catholic Answers typed right after it and search, you can easily find links to past threads.
I cannot think of an occasion though where using sex toys would help bring a man and woman closer together and make the occasion more unitive. I would probably say sex toys are discouraged but could probably be used morally in some cases as a form of foreplay. See the thread above and see what your take on it is.
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defenderoftruth
Guest
catholicplanet.com/CCSE/marriage-bed.htm
here’s a link to stuff about it if you go down the article (about halfway) you’ll see where they quote Fr. Serpa O.P. from Catholic Answers ask an apologist by name quoting what I read back in 06’ they however don’t provide the link to his ask an apologist Q&A.
*b. Fr. Vincent Serpa
On the Catholic Answers website, at forums.catholic-questions.org, on a section of the site where Catholics write in to receive answers from either a priest or an apologist, Fr. Vincent Serpa, O.P. gives the following answer: “Anal intercourse is allowed as foreplay-but it does differ from other such forms because it is so unsanitary.” In another answer, Fr. Serpa asserts that oral sex “would be allowed as foreplay only”. Other apologists on the same website have answered similarly.*
I’m still trying to find the actually link on CAF.
here’s a link to stuff about it if you go down the article (about halfway) you’ll see where they quote Fr. Serpa O.P. from Catholic Answers ask an apologist by name quoting what I read back in 06’ they however don’t provide the link to his ask an apologist Q&A.
*b. Fr. Vincent Serpa
On the Catholic Answers website, at forums.catholic-questions.org, on a section of the site where Catholics write in to receive answers from either a priest or an apologist, Fr. Vincent Serpa, O.P. gives the following answer: “Anal intercourse is allowed as foreplay-but it does differ from other such forms because it is so unsanitary.” In another answer, Fr. Serpa asserts that oral sex “would be allowed as foreplay only”. Other apologists on the same website have answered similarly.*
I’m still trying to find the actually link on CAF.
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CB_Catholic
Guest
I really can’t answer the Church question, but, as a nurse who has had to take care of patients after the retrieval of such toys, I wouldn’t advise using them. Those things can be downright dangerous.
As one of my male patients said, when he woke up after the retrieval of such a device: “That was the dumbest thing I’ve ever done.”
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Ana_v
Guest
I agree completely with what the website you linked us to, says concerning unnatural sexual acts, and the delibarete attempt to bring the wife – who did not climax during intercourse – to climax by means other than intercourse. Ends doesn’t justify means. Intentional recourse to something other than coitus to accomplish the wife’s orgasm, is neither untive nor procreative.
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Tarpeian_Rock
Guest
There are about a half-bazillion posts here that document, with appropriate references, the permissability of a woman’s attaining completion outside of coitus when in the context of the same marital act. I believe this opinion is also expressed in John Paul II’s Theology of the Body, your opinion notwithstanding.
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rdscheirer
Guest
Married for 27 yrs- at this point we are looking for whatever can keep our physical life going- sometimes a change will bring huge benefits.Different positions, role playing can help.
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Ana_v
Guest
Would these be magisterial references? If not and (assuming that ) the Magisterium has not made a determination on this matter – my concern is that people interpret “silence” on the matter to be permission.
In any event, what is the justification for climax deliberately outside of coitus?
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