Just to correct you…the Church DOES marry couples who live together (whether or not they are having sex and also they will marry couples who have been legally “married” but have been awaiting an annulment or who married outside the permission of the Church).
While I agree completely that moving in together is a bad idea the statement about the church not marrying co-habitating couples is not true. It really depends on the priest. Just in my own family (actually hubby’s side) two of his cousins married in the Catholic church who were co-habitating.
For those who insist on finding everything in the CCC and Canon law should step back and take another look at their faith. The 6th and 9th commandments clearly forbid fornication.
Yes, they do forbid fornication, but fornication before marriage is not cause enough to forbid a couple (nor an individual) to not marry. Many on these boards (and even some in the most orthodox parishes) would still be single if the Church never married fornicators. There is that little thing called forgiveness of sins through the sacrament of confession where one is to truly repent and the slate is then wiped clean.
* Church teaching on cohabitation reflects its belief about the dignity of marriage. Marital love is an image of God's love for humanity (Catechism of the Catholic Church #1604) and Christian marriage is a sign of Christ's union with the Church (Catechism #1617). This union can never be temporary or a "trial"; it is permanently faithful.
* Every act of sexual intercourse is intended by God to express love, commitment and openness to life in the total, unreserved gift of the spouses to each other. Premarital sexual intercourse is sinful because it violates the dignity of persons and the nuptial meaning and purpose of sexuality (United States Catholic Catechism for Adults, p. 406). It cannot express what God intended. Rather, it says something false--a total commitment that the couple does not yet have. This total commitment is possible only in marriage, "the covenant of conjugal love freely and consciously chosen, whereby a man and woman accept the intimate community of life and love willed by God himself" (Familiaris Consortio #11).
* This mutual self-giving enables the couple to become co-creators with God to bring new life into the world. The gift of sexual intercourse has two purposes: to express and strengthen marital love (unitive) and to share that love with children (procreative). Only in marriage can this total self-giving take place, and only in marriage can children be raised with the secure, committed love of a mother and father.
* Pope John Paul II recognized that couples can enter into cohabitation ("free unions") for various reasons. He urged pastors and the church community to become familiar with these situations on a case-by-case basis. "They should make tactful and respectful contact with the couples concerned and enlighten them patiently, correct them charitably and show them the witness of Christian family life in such a way as to smooth the path for them to regularize their situation" (Familiaris Consortio #81).
* Following Familiaris Consortio, diocesan marriage policies that address cohabitation mostly favor an approach that integrates correction with understanding and compassion. This is an opportunity for evangelization and a teachable moment. "While couples need to be welcomed with the gospel values of love, understanding, and acceptance, they also need to be challenged by the gospel message of commitment and faithfulness." (Marriage Preparation and Cohabiting Couples, a report by the Bishops' Committee on Marriage and Family Life, [usccb.org/laity/marriage/cohabiting.shtml)](http://www.usccb.org/laity/marriage/cohabiting.shtml)).Forgivness of sins means you make a firm resolution to NEVER DO IT AGAIN.
Where does it say that the Church will not marry someone who sinned by cohabitating and/or fornicating?
Living together as brother and sister is NOT sinning. A big temptation for many, but not for all. There are people who are able to truly repent after having sinned. And their are people who are able to resist temptation after having given into the same temptation for years. This is where God knowing our hearts comes into play. What others “assume” to be the truth for EVERY situation is just that, and assumption.
The Church will not marry someone who is in an irregular situation i.e fornication, co-habitation or who is currently in the state of mortal sin. This would make the marriage Sacrilegious. I believe that the moderators need to be much more aware of what is being said in these “Catholic Forums” . In good conscience I cannot allow my faith to be damaged by people who while professing to be Catholic, continuously try to find legalistic loop holes to be anything but Catholic. Moderators please moderate.
Then why do they? A cousin married in a Catholic ceremony. She was living and sleeping with her now husband.
That must explain the very short line at the confessionals at most parishes.
For those who are interested in following Holy Mother Church the information is there> I cannot tell you why this was allowed to happen with the cousins, I can only tell you what I know the Church teaches and believes on this. Please read the CCC and Canon law and Theology of the body, and seek guidance from cuf.org/ they will never lead you astray!
usccb.org/laity/marriage/cohabiting.shtml
)Gmarie stated it well.
Good job of posting what the Church actually says.TrueLove, if you mean to be slapping Bunny over the head with your Catechism, please show some Christianity here. She’s already upset, she’s already gone to confession. She’s feeling pretty sick right now and is a little scared.
Which is 1/3 of the requirements in the vows (exclusivity and permanence included) that would make their marriage one of valid consent. I’m sure there are many couples out there who didn’t slip up who march down the aisle and have already agreed to forego children for a long time, if ever. So let’s give credit where credit is due.
First off I apologize for the tone of my letter, it was not directed at Bunnyness she is completely in my prayers, it is simply to inform her and OTHERS that the church does not allow this and in no way condones it at all.Gmarie stated it well.
And as always Rayne is spot on.
Bunny - sorry for the derail, but, wanted to make sure we cleared up the teaching of our Holy Mother Church.
I am happy for Bunny and in no way am I trying to put her or H2B down, a new life is a blessed and beautiful event. I just recently got married, a month later I am pregnant, this was not planned and in no way foreseeable but altogether a welcome blessing. I am no more Catholic than the pope, I make mistakes, and I was not beating her over the head with my catechism. Furthermore I understand what Catholic means I am not an idiot despite what some may think. I was asking for the moderators because it seems that there is a lot less anger when they are on.TrueLove, if you mean to be slapping Bunny over the head with your Catechism, please show some Christianity here. She’s already upset, she’s already gone to confession. She’s feeling pretty sick right now and is a little scared.
She needs support and prayers. And I’ll give this to the new couple, they had already made plans to marry. And we know they are already entering marriage with the full intent to accept whatever children God sends them.
Now, as for being more Catholic than the pope, which is what you seem to be doing here, screaming for the moderator and all that, I copied that paragraph from Pope John Paul II because some people need a reminder. The Church is UNIVERSAL! Are you aware there are people who are NOT from America who are becoming Catholic in far off jungles who have already taken wives or have cultural customs that entail living together and having children for years before they have a marriage ceremony? The Pope is writing for everyone. And in all cases, he urges pastors to work gently and patiently and with compassion to make sure the Catholic faith becomes their steppingstone to heaven, not a stumbling block and an obstacle. The Holy Father speaks to all people.
I am hoping that this thread can return to what it’s supposed to be about. Bunny and her H2B are welcoming a baby. They are not aborting it because it’s inconvenient and embarrassing and awkward. So let’s show a little love. And whether priests marry couples shacking up or not is a war to fight in someone else’s thread. Howzaboutit?