I'm really nervous about going to confession?

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I’m 15 and I’m getting confirmed next week. I’m in a state of mortal sin because I masturbated at the start of this week and I’ve just learned that I can’t get to my usual confessor before I’m confirmed.

I’m used to going to the traditional confessional where you don’t see the priest face to face. The problem is I only have two choices of different confessors:
  1. A face-to-face confession with a priest I’ve known since I was in primary school but haven’t seen for a while
  2. A not-face-to-face confession, but with a priest I know really well and I’m so worried he’ll recognise my voice and I’d find it really embarrassing.
I know it’s silly to be scared but I’m so nervous and I don’t know what to do, I’ve only ever confessed masturbating to my usual confessor. I really don’t want to receive confirmation in a state of mortal sin but I’m worried I’ll chicken out of going to confession.

I’m also really worried that when I get into the confessional I’ll start to cry or something awful like that because I’m really, REALLY nervous about this and I’m getting teary just typing about it.

Could anyone give me some advice or support please? I would be eternally grateful.
 
Go anyway, and receive the Lord’s mercy and grace. That’s what’s most important. You now know it’s wrong, so cleanse your soul and move on.

Masturbation is a very common sin to fall into. You certainly won’t be the only one confessing it. Ask for advice on how to stop.

Also, receiving a sacrament in a state of mortal sin is a mortal sin (sacrilege), and I advise you at all costs to avoid that.

Finally, congratulations on your upcoming Confirmation! May the Holy Spirit fill your heart, guide your mind, and lead your soul to Our Lord Jesus Christ.
 
I’m going to confession tomorrow as well.

Because it has been about a month since my last one.

I get terrified waiting to go in, but the feeling when you come out, when we are finally in a state of grace, is the best feeling in the world.:extrahappy:

You’ll see.
 
I know it can be daunting, but rest assured that any priest has heard it all before. Masturbation is embarrassing to confess (as it should be), but the confessional is a place of love and mercy. I am often, if not always, nervous before going to confession, but always glad that I went.

I find if I am nervous that it’s easier to do the non-face-to-face confession. I doubt your priest will recognise you. Even if he does, he is there as God’s representative to offer God’s love and mercy, and certainly not to think any less of you. If anything, he will think more of you for the fact that you are engaging in such a wonderful sacrament and trying your best not to sin.

Also, do not feel embarrassed about crying. It is a wonderful sign of sorrow for your sins.
 
  1. They’ve heard it all before and worse.
  2. God graces them with the ability to “forget”. - Thay aren’t there to judge, they are there to impart God’s grace. How horrible it would be for them if they had to carry around the weight of what we tell them.
Though it’s embarassing for you - just pretend you don’t know the priest and feel safe that what you say really is between you and God.

Blessings!
 
It’s okay if you cry. You can be sure that the priest has seen many tears.
Our confessional always has a box of tissues.

You’ll feel so light-hearted and happy after you go to Confession!
 
This sin would have to be one of the most frequently confessed of all sins. No way will you be the first or last that your confessor has heard.
 
I’m not sure if this would help but if it makes you feel any better you can use other words to describe the same sin. The priest will know what you mean if you say you were impure “with yourself.” I think I heard this suggested by Father Larry Richards on a youtube presentation about confession.
 
Cat
I am always nervous when I go to confession, no matter. Oh yes sometimes I cry to, just can’t help it. Then I get over it. That’s great you are going to be confirm. I will be praying for you. Keep us posted
 
Hi Cat,

Congratulations for the soon to be Confirmation 🙂 👍

Don’t worry that you sinned in the start of the week, neither should you be approaching Confession with fear. Just be as relaxed as possible, the Priest has heard it all before and is there for your help. Sometimes we get that sense of embarrassment and that is a good thing, because it really shows that a person certainly is remorseful. I’m sure you’ve heard it a billion times, but God really loves you and Confession is where everything is restored. When I was your age, I too didn’t want to see a Priest I knew. I eventually grew out of that habit because I learnt that sincerity means facing any challenge with the greatest strengh possible. Trust me, no matter how well the Priest knows you, he would have forgotten whatecer you confessed the moment it is over. You aren’t expected to have the same maturity as say a 50 year old, so if finding a Priest you don’t know makes you comfortable, just follow your heart.

Anyway I’ll keep in my Prayers. 🙂

God Bless.
 
  1. When faced with fear, imagine the worst case scenario – how you would deal with it and how you would move on or die:
You step into the confessional (or face to face) and confess. The priest leaps to his feet and screams at the top of his lungs, “You did WHAT!?” You explode into tears and die on the spot, which is sort of inconvenient, as you have not yet been absolved of your unspeakable sin.

Well, you know this isn’t going to happen. The priest has heard this particular sin in every level of detail imaginable and ten times already this morning. He is going to calmly and quietly give you some advice on how to avoid the temptation, and then he is going to absolve you, and you are going to stop trembling and leave the confessional renewed. And after hearing the sin ten more times, the priest is still not going to find it particulary interesting or think of you every time he hears it. It is a serious sin and should be taken seriously, but it is part of the human struggle. There are worse sins more difficult to overcome. You will have to confess some of those later in life as you realize your human sinfulness, but you are gaining practice now with the typical sins of 15 year olds.
  1. You can’t confess because you can’t bring yourself to utter that horrible phrase you have come to despise, “I…mastur(cringe!)bated.” No problem. Use an alternate expression that clearly conveys what you are trying to confess. Practice saying it a few times slowly:
“Father, I have had impure thoughts and have been unchaste with myself 435 times just this morning.”

Adjust the number to suit your particular case. He will know what you are trying to confess, and after he picks himself up from the floor gasping, he will recover and calmly give you some practical advice to help avoid this particular sin. Keep a pen in your back pocket and carry a post it stuck to write down your penance if you have a poor memory while trembling and horrifying priests. Cry if you must, but leave a tissue for all the unchaste people behind you in line.

Go forth, and conquer your fear. You will live, I promise.
 
Hello everyone, OP here!

I just got back from church where I went to confession. It was definitely not as bad as I had been fearing. The priest was very kind and gave me some good advice.

Thank you so much everyone who replied, for your kind messages of support and advice. It truly did make me feel a lot better, and I felt so much less nervous after reading everyone’s replies.

I feel much better and light-hearted now and am looking forward to my confirmation next week.

Again, thank you so much, everyone 🙂 :hug1::hug1::hug1:
 
Saburo said:
  1. When faced with fear, imagine the worst case scenario – how you would deal with it and how you would move on or die:
You step into the confessional (or face to face) and confess. The priest leaps to his feet and screams at the top of his lungs, “You did WHAT!?” You explode into tears and die on the spot, which is sort of inconvenient, as you have not yet been absolved of your unspeakable sin.

Well, you know this isn’t going to happen. The priest has heard this particular sin in every level of detail imaginable and ten times already this morning. He is going to calmly and quietly give you some advice on how to avoid the temptation, and then he is going to absolve you, and you are going to stop trembling and leave the confessional renewed. And after hearing the sin ten more times, the priest is still not going to find it particulary interesting or think of you every time he hears it. It is a serious sin and should be taken seriously, but it is part of the human struggle. There are worse sins more difficult to overcome. You will have to confess some of those later in life as you realize your human sinfulness, but you are gaining practice now with the typical sins of 15 year olds.
  1. You can’t confess because you can’t bring yourself to utter that horrible phrase you have come to despise, “I…mastur(cringe!)bated.” No problem. Use an alternate expression that clearly conveys what you are trying to confess. Practice saying it a few times slowly:
“Father, I have had impure thoughts and have been unchaste with myself 435 times just this morning.”

Adjust the number to suit your particular case. He will know what you are trying to confess, and after he picks himself up from the floor gasping, he will recover and calmly give you some practical advice to help avoid this particular sin. Keep a pen in your back pocket and carry a post it stuck to write down your penance if you have a poor memory while trembling and horrifying priests. Cry if you must, but leave a tissue for all the unchaste people behind you in line.

Go forth, and conquer your fear. You will live, I promise.
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@ Saburo- I wish you taught faith formation to my children. 😃

Congratulations on a successful confession. It’s like that. Every. Time.😉
 
Oh Cat. That’s wonderful! Are you able to tell us what your confirnation is going to be?

Mine is Maria after my grandma? I had no idea what to pick for a name, I was only nine years old back then, so Sister Pascal had to help us. Keep us posted. Still praying for you!
 
Cat123789 said:
Hello everyone, OP here!

I just got back from church where I went to confession. It was definitely not as bad as I had been fearing. The priest was very kind and gave me some good advice.

Thank you so much everyone who replied, for your kind messages of support and advice. It truly did make me feel a lot better, and I felt so much less nervous after reading everyone’s replies.

I feel much better and light-hearted now and am looking forward to my confirmation next week.

Again, thank you so much, everyone 🙂 :hug1::hug1::hug1:
Click to expand...
Hooray! 😃

I often feel the way you do before confession even if I don’t have any mortal sins to confess. I think it’s part of what happened to us as a result of the Fall - guilt and shame overcome us and make it hard to do the right thing.

I usually shed a few tears during Confession (and life insurance commercials, and when I see a cute puppy… :rolleyes:) I have not always seen a box of tissues when I go but I definitely appreciate it when I do! (To be prepared I usually bring my own. 👍) Usually it’s just a few and then I’m ok. A couple times there have been waterworks, but even though it’s embarassing, it’s all part of the healing process.

I have had some “hard” priests for confession but I have always, always felt better afterwards. It is nice to get someone who is kind and offers good advice, though. 🙂

Congratulations on your upcoming confirmation!
 
Cat123789 said:
I’m 15 and I’m getting confirmed next week. I’m in a state of mortal sin because I masturbated at the start of this week and I’ve just learned that I can’t get to my usual confessor before I’m confirmed.

I’m used to going to the traditional confessional where you don’t see the priest face to face. The problem is I only have two choices of different confessors:
  1. A face-to-face confession with a priest I’ve known since I was in primary school but haven’t seen for a while
  2. A not-face-to-face confession, but with a priest I know really well and I’m so worried he’ll recognise my voice and I’d find it really embarrassing.
I know it’s silly to be scared but I’m so nervous and I don’t know what to do, I’ve only ever confessed masturbating to my usual confessor. I really don’t want to receive confirmation in a state of mortal sin but I’m worried I’ll chicken out of going to confession.

I’m also really worried that when I get into the confessional I’ll start to cry or something awful like that because I’m really, REALLY nervous about this and I’m getting teary just typing about it.

Could anyone give me some advice or support please? I would be eternally grateful.
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Don’t worry if it’s a Priest you know. Once I spoke to a Priest before we walked into the Confessional. He knows my voice and everything, and I’m pretty sure he knows my name. When I walked into the confessional I confessed about nineteen sins, 99.99% of them being sexual in some way, and masturbation was the top of the list, if I remember correctly. He didn’t judge me. He didn’t say, “Really? I never knew that you did this!”. He simply gave me advice, told me some books and CD’s to read and listen to, and after about ten minutes I was out of there feeling great. I never masturbated again after that. Don’t worry. If he’s a good Priest he won’t judge you, he won’t be disappointed with you, nothing. In fact, he’ll probably compliment your bravery to confess these sins, if he’s anything like some of my Priests.

My advice is to simply confess what you have to confess. You have to, otherwise you’re confirmation will be invalid like mine was (For this very reason, mind you), and you’ll have to confess being in Mortal sin while receiving the Sacrament of Confirmation. That’s sacrilege, and Tim Staples says that sacrilege is the worst of sins, and that you’ll be judged more harshly on it. Do yourself a favor and simply trust in God.
 
Cat123789 said:
Hello everyone, OP here!

I just got back from church where I went to confession. It was definitely not as bad as I had been fearing. The priest was very kind and gave me some good advice.

Thank you so much everyone who replied, for your kind messages of support and advice. It truly did make me feel a lot better, and I felt so much less nervous after reading everyone’s replies.

I feel much better and light-hearted now and am looking forward to my confirmation next week.

Again, thank you so much, everyone 🙂 :hug1::hug1::hug1:
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Awesome! Congratulations on your upcoming confirmation. 🙂
 
InspiritCarol said:
  1. They’ve heard it all before and worse.
  2. God graces them with the ability to “forget”. - Thay aren’t there to judge, they are there to impart God’s grace. How horrible it would be for them if they had to carry around the weight of what we tell them.
Though it’s embarassing for you - just pretend you don’t know the priest and feel safe that what you say really is between you and God.

Blessings!
Click to expand...
That is what i am told all the time by my priest. they have heard it all and then some. Father Tim also says the Devil will do anything to seperate you from the grace of the sacrament of Confession. I always feel like a 100 pound weight has been lifted off when i come out. Isn’t it great that we can come out with a clean slate and do our best to avoid sinning again…and if we do, Jesus has unlimited do overs 🙂
 
77stanthony77 said:
Oh Cat. That’s wonderful! Are you able to tell us what your confirnation is going to be?

Mine is Maria after my grandma? I had no idea what to pick for a name, I was only nine years old back then, so Sister Pascal had to help us. Keep us posted. Still praying for you!
Click to expand...
Saint Joan of Arc 🙂

Thank you very much for your prayers! 🙂
 
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