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For your question
“is lust a mortal sin, if you didn’t know?”
no, when you did not know something was mortally sinful, then for you it was only venial, but afterwords it is mortal.
the first step to overcoming this sin is prayer, never neglect to say your morning and evening prayers, especially the Rosary,
and never neglect to ask Jesus and Mary and the angels and saints for help during and before times of temptation, because it is only when we do not ask for help that we fall, so try training yourself to remember to do that,
some prayers you can pray during or before times of temptation - “Precious Blood of Jesus Christ, wash over me, protect me from the wickedness and snares of the devil” and a prayer to be said right after that one - “Jesus, Mary, Joseph, Saint Maria Goretti, Guardian Angel, help me.” and then after that just right away remove yourself from the temptation, because sins of the flesh are not to be fought or toyed with, they must be fled from, so if it’s temptation to impure thoughts, try thinking of something else you enjoy very much that is not immoral, or if it’s temptation to lustful actions, then just get up, and walk to another room where there are people, or go out for a walk, or call up a friend, or anything you can think of to get your mind off it and force you to get away from it,
and another prayer that is very good, is saying 3 Hail Mary’s in the morning when you wake up, and at night before you go to bed, for the intentions of purity and holiness, it was the practice of Saint Maria Goretti, and also Saint Gemma Galgani, who prayed it kneeling on her hands, as her mother told her.
it’s very important to have a good prayer regimen, not just in the morning and at night, but throughout the day, and by doing that you will receive many graces and help from God, and it will also help you to keep your mind on holy things,
for example, saying some small prayer at the beginning of each hour, such as “Jesus, Mary, Joseph, I love you, save souls” which is a prayer that saves one soul from going to hell each time it is said,
and you can choose any set of prayers you like, but don’t over do it, if you feel at all overwhelmed by any of your practices, then it’s very important that you back off from some of them.
the next thing you need to do is remove from your life anything that is a cause of temptation for you, whether it’s the TV, or internet, or books, or certain friends, you must remove those things from your life…although for the internet, you can just get a good filter,
although you should not just take those things out of your life without replacing them with something else, because if you don’t, then something else will take their place that may be just as bad, such as food or drinking, or some other kind of inordinate pleasure or entertainment.
the things you should replace them with are things like good Catholic literature, especially the lives of the saints, and other writings of the saints, or older Catholic books(
www.tanbooks.com is very good)
also, being active in the church, or doing acts of charity, like perhaps if you have a soup kitchen nearby, or some other charity organization,
try taking up some new hobbies, whatever you think you’d be interested in.
and the advice you were given to “get a girlfriend” is really bad advice, because if you are treating yourself as an object, you will only do the same with a girlfriend, getting a girlfriend at this time would be a bad move, she would only distract you and give you more temptation in this very weak time in your life, and then not only would you be falling into more sin, but you would be dragging someone else along with you…so yeah, i would recommend getting advice from a different priest, perhaps you have an FSSP parish near you? they would be the best help really, you can find their locations here -
fssp.com/press/locations/
i do have a question though, are you aware that willful lustful thoughts are also mortally sinful? the reason i’m asking is because i’m wondering if you lead yourself into temptation by willfully having those thoughts,
if not then ok, but if so, that is what you need to work on.
and just be patient with yourself, you will not get over these struggles over night, although with Gods grace you can most certainly stop from masturbation right away, so never neglect to ask for Gods grace, because the fact of the matter is, we are all weak, and without God we can do no good, God is the source of our goodness whether we ask His help or not, because God is all goodness and love itself.
so whenever you brood over your sins, just keep in mind, it is not in your strength to overcome them, you are completely dependent on God, and therefore your mindset should be “Lord, see how weak i am without you? it is only because i did not ask your help that i fell, next time i will not so arrogantly rely on myself, but i will implore your grace”
God is really not so much displeased with you when you fall from weakness, as He is when you fall on purpose, so keep that in mind, and do not beat yourself up over your sins, because to do that is to put your faith in yourself, thinking “***I ***should have done better” which is really a hidden type of pride,
instead when you fall, ask God for the grace to get back up, go to confession, and try again, and try to do it all calmly and peacefully, although we should still have sorrow for our sins, but not because we are weak, instead we should have sorrow for offending God and hurting Jesus by them.
and if you need help in learning how to have peace, get this short, but very powerful book called “Searching for and Maintaining Peace”
amazon.com/gp/product/0818909064/ref=s9_simh_gw_p14_d2_i1?pf_rd_m=ATVPDKIKX0DER&pf_rd_s=center-6&pf_rd_r=0X0NYWNF7K10X848J14J&pf_rd_t=101&pf_rd_p=470938731&pf_rd_i=507846
(Continued in next post)
Ever seen the movie “Due Date”?