I'm So Confused

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My Catholic friend and I have been attending a parish that seems to be getting more liberal week to week. They don’t require people not married in the church to abstain from the Eucharist. (I spent a whole year through the annulment process righting my marriage with the Church. My husband and I were then remarried in the Catholic Church by the priest who helped us with our prior marriage issues.) But at our new church, they don’t do that.

They haven’t quite said that it’s okay to be gay, but we are being told to accept them. What is that supposed to mean?

Our priest talks about the “wide road” to heaven. (I know that the wide road does not go to heaven!)

Our priest tells us that if we remarry without an annulment, he doesn’t care. You can take the Eucharist.

In this church, the music is beautiful, but the message is getting stranger and stranger. I’ve only been a Catholic for two years. What are we supposed to do?
 
Find another parish! And report that one to the Bishop!

Taking the Eucharist without annulment after re-marrying! :eek:

When does the priest say such things - within the homily? :eek:

Yes, find another parish immediately!
 
You need to find a parish that teaches orthodox doctrine. This sounds like a dangerous place, especially for a fairly new convert. It is frustrating and it shouldn’t be this way, but in these trying times we often have to “church shop” in order to find orthodoxy. Let us pray that the pendulum continues to swing back away from heretical teachings.
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jennapope said:
My Catholic friend and I have been attending a parish that seems to be getting more liberal week to week. They don’t require people not married in the church to abstain from the Eucharist. (I spent a whole year through the annulment process righting my marriage with the Church. My husband and I were then remarried in the Catholic Church by the priest who helped us with our prior marriage issues.) But at our new church, they don’t do that.

They haven’t quite said that it’s okay to be gay, but we are being told to accept them. What is that supposed to mean?

Our priest talks about the “wide road” to heaven. (I know that the wide road does not go to heaven!)

Our priest tells us that if we remarry without an annulment, he doesn’t care. You can take the Eucharist.

In this church, the music is beautiful, but the message is getting stranger and stranger. I’ve only been a Catholic for two years. What are we supposed to do?
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Firstly, talk the priest about your concerns. If he is still making these rather large errors then please please please report him to the bishop. If what he is doing is as you say then this is unacceptable.
 
The only real issue I see is you need to speak with the priest as to his teachings on receiving the Eucharist without benefit of an annullment for those previously married.

We must accept homosexuals as people who are children of God just as we are, but not the sex or gay marriage or living in sin – just as we don’t accept heteros from marrying outside the Church or livng in sin. If a homosexual remains celibate according to the teachings of the Church, as all unmarried are to remain celibate (or chaste), then there is nothing wrong. It’s the act that is disordered, not the person who remains chaste.

The wide road – I can only guess that he means that we don’t know each other’s sin, just as you do not know if a gay person is celibate or acting out his orientation. I think he means acceptance of people without assuming that they are in a state of sin. But you should ask him to make it clear to you so that you understand.

I would never report a priest to a bishop unless I was certain of what it is that he is saying.
 
jennapope said:
My Catholic friend and I have been attending a parish that seems to be getting more liberal week to week. They don’t require people not married in the church to abstain from the Eucharist. (I spent a whole year through the annulment process righting my marriage with the Church. My husband and I were then remarried in the Catholic Church by the priest who helped us with our prior marriage issues.) But at our new church, they don’t do that.

They haven’t quite said that it’s okay to be gay, but we are being told to accept them. What is that supposed to mean?

Our priest talks about the “wide road” to heaven. (I know that the wide road does not go to heaven!)

Our priest tells us that if we remarry without an annulment, he doesn’t care. You can take the Eucharist.

In this church, the music is beautiful, but the message is getting stranger and stranger. I’ve only been a Catholic for two years. What are we supposed to do?
Click to expand...
Bring a tape recorder to church with you and record the priest saying these things. Make copies of the tapes and send them to the bishop. Let him know that they are also going to be sent to Catholic publications and websites and be put on Youtube.
 
grandfather said:
Bring a tape recorder to church with you and record the priest saying these things. Make copies of the tapes and send them to the bishop. Let him know that they are also going to be sent to Catholic publications and websites and be put on Youtube.
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No, try to handle the situation privately, and if that fails go to the bishop with as much documentation as you can. YouTube would be a distinctly bad way to handle this, and give the priest (and the bishop, if he is innerly sympathetic with the priest) every reason to regard you as the main problem.
 
It was the deacon who said the thing about accepting the gays. I’m not against people with that inclination, just the act itself. But, the lead-up made me feel that he was minimizing the sin and accepting practicing gays as Catholics. That alarmed me considerably. Similar references were made by the priest several times before now.
 
I think that we’re going to try some different parishes to see if they stick to doctrine. I’m a new Catholic and not entirely versed in my religion. But I am learning it and love it!
 
grandfather said:
Bring a tape recorder to church with you and record the priest saying these things. Make copies of the tapes and send them to the bishop. Let him know that they are also going to be sent to Catholic publications and websites and be put on Youtube.
Click to expand...
In some states it is illegal to tape a party without the second party being informed that they are being taped and/or recorded. I advise strongly against this.

The priest and she need to have a private meeting so he can explain, not create a scandal or an illegal action on her part. I would never suggest that she threaten the Diocese and certainly NEVER with YouTube without first hearing the priest’s explanation. There can be several reasons why this confusion has come up and priest should be given a chance to explain.
 
I’ve been in so-called “Catholic” churches like that and they so depressed me that some of our Church leaders have become so liberal. I would hate to be in their shoes at the final judgement. For the correct answers to your questions go to the Vatican internet site and there you will find the correct answers.
 
Going to a different parish doesn’t really solve the problem.

We all know that there are MANY parishes like the one here described. It is so DISTURBING that for the last 40 years the bishops have allowed priests like this to continue to operate. It is a MYSTERY. It challenges one faith in the Catholic Church. Why, why, why don’t they simply require all priests to be fully orthodox at all times? It makes no sense. But they don’t.

Every diocese seems to have one or two or more of these “rebel” parishes. There are at least two in my diocese. Perhaps more.

This has been going on since shortly after the Vatican II Council, which ended in 1965. Prior to that Council, nothing like this occurred. So what is going on. The bishops have full power to stop this very quickly. Yet, it just goes on and on and one.

I myself have written letters to bishops documenting such things. Nothing every happened. Sometimes I didn’t even get responses back. No corrections were ever made. I don’t write any more letters. I don’t care if my parish priest preaches Islam from the pulpit–I still would not write my bishop.

So, what should you do?

NOTHING.

Don’t waste your time. You have a LIFE to lead. You should not be spending the valuable time of your life trying to reform priests and parishes! That’s NOT your job!

Even if you go to another parish, I bet you’ll find one or two issues on which the next priest seems to downplay or perhaps dissent on. So, there’s really no escape from this.

My recommendation: Don’t base your faith life on what is said by any priest or deacon or nun (pastoral assistant) in any parish. Base you faith life on Eternal Verities of the Faith. Read good Catholic books. Try to find a few faithful Catholics to associate with. Maybe check out Opus Dei.

Don’t get into the mentality of wanting to carry out a “Crusade” against liberals in the Church. That will just make you angry, bitter and obsessed. Many of the apologists on the radio and Internet are on such a crusade. I don’t think it helps them or anyone in their relationship with God.

Stay away from people full of conflict or promoting conflict on religious issues. Be at peace. Be at rest in your mind.

Focus on your relationship with God. God is real. You can really grown in your union with God. Forget about all these liberals and dissenters. Really, truly, just FORGET THEM. Forget that they exist.

Have a good life. Love your friends, family, neighbors, stranger and enemies, and you shall be a true friend of God, and thus find fulfillment in this life and the next.
 
Leegal said:
In some states it is illegal to tape a party without the second party being informed that they are being taped and/or recorded. I advise strongly against this.

The priest and she need to have a private meeting so he can explain, not create a scandal or an illegal action on her part. I would never suggest that she threaten the Diocese and certainly NEVER with YouTube without first hearing the priest’s explanation. There can be several reasons why this confusion has come up and priest should be given a chance to explain.
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It is not illegal anywhere to tape a public event. It is illegal in some places to tape a private conversation.

The chances that the bishop does not already know what is going on at this parish are very small.

He needs to be informed that something needs to be done or else. Most of the time when bishops are told about something like this and presented with documentation they ignore it. They generally refuse to even acknowledge the complaint.

The only way to avoid this is to let the bishop know the issue will not quietly go away. He can deal with it by disciplining the priest or deal with the damage control when the story gets out.

I have heard again and again that the way to solve these problems is to quietly speak to the priest and the bishop if that does not work. That is exactly how people dealt with the molesters for decades and see where that got us. Nothing was done. It is in the news today again in Philidelphia. The previous cardinal disciplined the monsignor for trying to do something about the abuse instead of disciplining the abusive priests. All the while the laity sat by and watched.

A former priest from my parish went to jail for 15 years. He molested many altar boys, one a friend of mine whose entire life was destroyed. When it came out the boy’s family told the bishop and he did nothing. They kept silent for fear of making the Church look badly. Another one was suspended and got the diocese sued for millions. The bishop knew all along what was going on and reassigned them. It is time to figure out that quiet private polite discussions don’t work.

If bishops are told there is a mess to fix and if they don’t address it immediately things will get messier they will reign in their subordinates.
 
There has been a lot of this in recent years. There are priests in parishes who just want people to keep coming to mass, so they let them get away with things, turned a blind eye instead of taking the time to tell them why it is that they do things a certain way. Like when to may churches these days just flip the divorce switch to easily for couples instead of trying to help them fix their marriage. Even in the instance of those that have same sex attraction yeah we do have to treat them like people, but we don’t have to condone there actions, the priest should allow them to be at Mass but not get the Eucharist if they have had same sex relations with someone else.

Plus it doesn’t contribute to the making of better people, like for engaged couples there should be a big stress showing them NFP, and how it can really help in the marriage, some parishes give a lack luster pre Cana, and the couple never really takes heed of any of the messages.
 
You should immediately bring this to the attention of the bishop. If these things are occurring, then scandal is being given; the faithful are being led astray; and the Blessed Sacrament is being profaned.
 
Bartolome_Casas said:
Going to a different parish doesn’t really solve the problem.

We all know that there are MANY parishes like the one here described. It is so DISTURBING that for the last 40 years the bishops have allowed priests like this to continue to operate. It is a MYSTERY. It challenges one faith in the Catholic Church. Why, why, why don’t they simply require all priests to be fully orthodox at all times? It makes no sense. But they don’t.

Every diocese seems to have one or two or more of these “rebel” parishes. There are at least two in my diocese. Perhaps more.

This has been going on since shortly after the Vatican II Council, which ended in 1965. Prior to that Council, nothing like this occurred. So what is going on. The bishops have full power to stop this very quickly. Yet, it just goes on and on and one.

I myself have written letters to bishops documenting such things. Nothing every happened. Sometimes I didn’t even get responses back. No corrections were ever made. I don’t write any more letters. I don’t care if my parish priest preaches Islam from the pulpit–I still would not write my bishop.

So, what should you do?

NOTHING.

Don’t waste your time. You have a LIFE to lead. You should not be spending the valuable time of your life trying to reform priests and parishes! That’s NOT your job!

Even if you go to another parish, I bet you’ll find one or two issues on which the next priest seems to downplay or perhaps dissent on. So, there’s really no escape from this.

My recommendation: Don’t base your faith life on what is said by any priest or deacon or nun (pastoral assistant) in any parish. Base you faith life on Eternal Verities of the Faith. Read good Catholic books. Try to find a few faithful Catholics to associate with. Maybe check out Opus Dei.

Don’t get into the mentality of wanting to carry out a “Crusade” against liberals in the Church. That will just make you angry, bitter and obsessed. Many of the apologists on the radio and Internet are on such a crusade. I don’t think it helps them or anyone in their relationship with God.

Stay away from people full of conflict or promoting conflict on religious issues. Be at peace. Be at rest in your mind.

Focus on your relationship with God. God is real. You can really grown in your union with God. Forget about all these liberals and dissenters. Really, truly, just FORGET THEM. Forget that they exist.

Have a good life. Love your friends, family, neighbors, stranger and enemies, and you shall be a true friend of God, and thus find fulfillment in this life and the next.
Click to expand...
It’s very difficult to tell this advice to a new Catholic. She wants to learn and grow in the faith, alongside FAITHFUL Catholics, under the guidance of a holy priest. She is not ready to just go all sanguine and detached. For you, for me, that may be the best approach, or it may not, but I would not recommend it for a new Catholic.
 
grandfather said:
Make copies of the tapes and send them to the bishop. Let him know that they are also going to be sent to Catholic publications and websites and be put on Youtube.
Click to expand...
Tape someone without their permission in my state and you face the very real risk of having criminal charges pressed against you.

I know because I’ve done it.
 
jennapope said:
My Catholic friend and I have been attending a parish that seems to be getting more liberal week to week. They don’t require people not married in the church to abstain from the Eucharist. (I spent a whole year through the annulment process righting my marriage with the Church. My husband and I were then remarried in the Catholic Church by the priest who helped us with our prior marriage issues.) But at our new church, they don’t do that.

They haven’t quite said that it’s okay to be gay, but we are being told to accept them. What is that supposed to mean?

Our priest talks about the “wide road” to heaven. (I know that the wide road does not go to heaven!)

Our priest tells us that if we remarry without an annulment, he doesn’t care. You can take the Eucharist.

In this church, the music is beautiful, but the message is getting stranger and stranger. I’ve only been a Catholic for two years. What are we supposed to do?
Click to expand...
You can start by asking your priest for clarifications. Much better to get it from him than coming here telling us everything you think you know about the practices at this parish. Make sure you are not participating in gossip. Make sure you and other parishioners are not engaging in a big game of Telephone about what’s done and not done in this parish.
 
Luna_Lovecraft said:
You can start by asking your priest for clarifications. .
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It is a waste of breath. All she will get is the runaround, at best. It goes on all the time. Rarely is anything ever done to stop it. It is only when the issue is forced that bishops do anything. Sunshine is a great disinfectant. Get it out in the open, or out of the closet as they say.

My ex-bishop threatened to sue a Catholic layman if he came on parish property. What the man did was complain about a priest who was a founder and editor of a pro gay magazine. You can’t make this up. Totally bizarre.
 
jennapope said:
My Catholic friend and I have been attending a parish that seems to be getting more liberal week to week. They don’t require people not married in the church to abstain from the Eucharist. (I spent a whole year through the annulment process righting my marriage with the Church. My husband and I were then remarried in the Catholic Church by the priest who helped us with our prior marriage issues.) But at our new church, they don’t do that.

They haven’t quite said that it’s okay to be gay, but we are being told to accept them. What is that supposed to mean?

Our priest talks about the “wide road” to heaven. (I know that the wide road does not go to heaven!)

Our priest tells us that if we remarry without an annulment, he doesn’t care. You can take the Eucharist.

In this church, the music is beautiful, but the message is getting stranger and stranger. I’ve only been a Catholic for two years. What are we supposed to do?
Click to expand...
Beautiful music… liberal views… mmmh…

Are you sure you haven’t been accidentally attending your local Episcopalian church?

😛
 
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