I'm so disrespectful and could care less

[kage_ar]

Repeating the same advice (someone once said that the human mind has to encounter something 16 times to really learn it…):

Confirmation is not graduation. You need to be part of a group, learning and growing TOGETHER in the Faith.

Call your RCIA director or DRE and get into a group!

 

[ThisOne]

If you know, going in to Confession, that you will not beg Christ to give you the strength to not sin again, then you are insulting Him by confessing. You are, in effect, trying to fool Christ. You are doing a ritual that is empty of meaning. It does you no good at all and probably harms your soul.

Do not confess your sins unless you REALLY are sorry. If you are really sorry for them, you will try to not commit them. Feigned repentance is blasphemy, so don’t go to Confession unless you are truly sorry and truly intend to seek Christ’s help to stop whatever sin is besetting you.

If you get to that point, it would not be inappropriate to confess having misused the sacrament without fully understanding its meaning.

I was a convert and I understand what you are saying! I really do, and I am telling you how I handled the same situation when I began going to Confession.

Stay away from Confession entirely unless and until you are truly and completely sorry and unless and until you have made a conscious decision to ask Christ to help you avoid sin. He will not fail to help us, but our problem is that we don’t ASK – and why don’t we ask? We don’t feel sorry for our sins!!! Therefore, going to Confession in that situation is blasphemy. I think that the advice you’ve been given to keep going to Confession is mistaken – IF what you say is true – that you know before you go in that you will not use all your strength and then ask for God’s to help you avoid sin. I imagine many people will object to what I have said, but I think I am correct in saying that going to Confession and giving the appearance of being sorry, when you are really not and know you will sin again, is fooling no one – not even you.

 

[johnben]

This past Saturday, I was (and still am) feeling kind of disoriented again with the Faith as well as feel so far away spiritually from God that I was so tempted not to go to Mass but I told myself just shut up and go anyway.

Many hardened hearts have changed through adoration of the Blessed Sacrament. If you can’t sit through prayer, go directly to Jesus. If you are too disoriented to pray, just sit or kneel before Him. Let Him speak to you. He has the power to change your heart and He will do it if you only accept His grace and go to Him.

As for your prayers, St. Pio would tell you not to be depressed with what you cannot sincerely offer up to God. Offer up what little good you can do and always pray to Jesus. Even just saying His name with reverence throughout the day is prayer. The Jesus prayer is powerful. I’m not sure if this is it word for word but this is how I say it, “Lord, Jesus, have mercy on me, a sinner.” If you pray this throughout the day, and just acknowledge that Jesus is with you even in the seemingly least of spiritual moments, He will give you His graces.

If you wish for something to read to help bring your faith to life, I would read books about the saints. “St. Pio Man of Hope” is the most spiritually uplifting story I have ever read and St. Pio has changed my life. He is a modern-day saint Francis.

 

[Holland]

Paris Blues:

I do but I can barely pray it. When I do, my mind wanders off and I get bored. It’s pathetic and sad! I consider myself fortunate enough to even pray it once a month!

Have you tried praying the Scriptural Rosary? I got this wonderful little book when I came back to the Church about 7 months ago. If you go to any Catholic bookstore they will probably have it. I can assure you if you use this little book when you pray the Rosary you will not get bored.

 

[wjp984]

Paris Blues:

Oh, yeah, I’m really psycho! In fact, I think it would make it worse. Besides, I don’t have the money right at this point. I’m finishing up my last semester of college and have to spend a lot of money just on a portfolio case for crying out loud, I don’t have all this extra money coming out my ears.images.bravenet.com/common/images/smilies/biting.gif

What is it with people telling other people to go see a psychiatrist?images.bravenet.com/common/images/smilies/16_angry.gifhttp://javascript<b></b>: void(0);

what is with asking for help from people that mostlikey are not qualified to help you on certain issues? If you are in college, counseliing and psychaiatrist might be free. I would look into it since if it is free, why not take advantage of it.

 

[Paris_Blues]

ThisOne:

If you know, going in to Confession, that you will not beg Christ to give you the strength to not sin again, then you are insulting Him by confessing. You are, in effect, trying to fool Christ. You are doing a ritual that is empty of meaning. It does you no good at all and probably harms your soul.

THAT’S exactly my point here. My conscious told me that if I’m not really sorry, why go to Confession when you know you’re going to sin the same over again? Though I say the very same similar Act of Contrition (I make one up) and don’t really mean it. Would like to but can’t give the effort. Just mere words:banghead:

Do not confess your sins unless you REALLY are sorry. If you are really sorry for them, you will try to not commit them. Feigned repentance is blasphemy, so don’t go to Confession unless you are truly sorry and truly intend to seek Christ’s help to stop whatever sin is besetting you.

That’s exactly what’s happening like I said above. And it’s not that I want to sin, no. It’s just that I don’t make an effort to not sin again…uh…I guess it’s called effortless spiritual laziness Now the part of blasphemy, um…I never intended to want to do that but that must be a mortal sin too and now my scrupulous garbage is trying to creep up on me now. Does that mean I’m going to have to say, “Bless me Father for I have sinned. I blashpemed by not being truly sorry for my sins…” ???:ehh:

If you get to that point, it would not be inappropriate to confess having misused the sacrament without fully understanding its meaning.

“Bless me Father for I have sinned. I misused Confession…”:ehh: This is not making me feel any better.

I was a convert and I understand what you are saying! I really do, and I am telling you how I handled the same situation when I began going to Confession.

Were you ever scrupulous?

Stay away from Confession entirely unless and until you are truly and completely sorry and unless and until you have made a conscious decision to ask Christ to help you avoid sin. He will not fail to help us, but our problem is that we don’t ASK – and why don’t we ask? We don’t feel sorry for our sins!!! Therefore, going to Confession in that situation is blasphemy. I think that the advice you’ve been given to keep going to Confession is mistaken – IF what you say is true – that you know before you go in that you will not use all your strength and then ask for God’s to help you avoid sin. I imagine many people will object to what I have said, but I think I am correct in saying that going to Confession and giving the appearance of being sorry, when you are really not and know you will sin again, is fooling no one – not even you.

Oh, so I can’t even trust other Catholics. Oh boy. I wonder what else they’ve told me was mistaken too Well, if that’s the case, I’m guess I’ll have to leave the Church because I’m THIS CLOSE to doing so.

You’re absolutely right. I don’t ask - and we don’t ask - because we’re NOT THAT SORRY!! Great, now I just realized another sin

That’s it. I’m leaving the Church…I can’t stand all this stuff going on…

 

[thistle]

Paris Blues:

THAT’S exactly my point here. My conscious told me that if I’m not really sorry, why go to Confession when you know you’re going to sin the same over again? Though I say the very same similar Act of Contrition (I make one up) and don’t really mean it. Would like to but can’t give the effort. Just mere words:banghead:

That’s exactly what’s happening like I said above. And it’s not that I want to sin, no. It’s just that I don’t make an effort to not sin again…uh…I guess it’s called effortless spiritual laziness Now the part of blasphemy, um…I never intended to want to do that but that must be a mortal sin too and now my scrupulous garbage is trying to creep up on me now. Does that mean I’m going to have to say, “Bless me Father for I have sinned. I blashpemed by not being truly sorry for my sins…” ???:ehh:

“Bless me Father for I have sinned. I misused Confession…”:ehh: This is not making me feel any better.

Were you ever scrupulous?

Oh, so I can’t even trust other Catholics. Oh boy. I wonder what else they’ve told me was mistaken too Well, if that’s the case, I’m guess I’ll have to leave the Church because I’m THIS CLOSE to doing so.

You’re absolutely right. I don’t ask - and we don’t ask - because we’re NOT THAT SORRY!! Great, now I just realized another sin

That’s it. I’m leaving the Church…I can’t stand all this stuff going on…

God forgive me for saying this but Paris there is really something wrong with you and you need to seek some help.

 

[Ted_CharlotteNC]

First I want to pray for you Paris:

Lord God
You are our God
You are the Holy One
You are the Lovely One
You are our only Hope
Let your children to always come to you
With the innocence of the toddler that scrapes his knee
And just wants to be held
Help Paris Lord God
Help Paris see the rites and rituals and rules were never intended
To get in the way of the relationships
Between You and your children
In the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit Amen

Paris I’m rooting for you
God bless you and help you Paris

 

[john_ennis]

estesbob:

Paris:

Just a minor correction. its “I could not care less” If you’re going to gripe its important that you do it properly.

Unless it’s uttered with an ironic flavor, as with “I should worry!”

Now Paris, are you not encouraged by the saints who plodded through the same dryness and discouragement you are feeling?

This is it! This is where emotional faith matures into trusting, faithful faith! When you are faithful even though you don’t feel like it…imagine how substantial that is.

Mother Teresa often felt that God wasn’t with her…that’s how she felt, but she was faithful. St. John of the Cross, talking about the ‘Dark Night of the Soul’, was describing trials that sound a lot like yours.

I, and others here, often feel like we’re confessing the same sins over and over. We often feel like we know we’re going to sin again. If we don’t feel sorry, then does wanting to be sorry count? Let’s trust God on that one, okay?

What does “persevere” mean? You’re finding out. You’re being refined.

Peace.
John

{how 'bout a little prayer, a little fasting for Paris, huh?}

 

[Mike_D30]

I would say whenever you feel this way you should definitely go to confession.

Sin will mire you down until the point of complete apathy towards the Church (I know trust me, I left the Church. Confession gives you strength to stay the course. If sin builds up in your life it will tear you relationship with God apart. You have to confess and repent, and pray.

IT TAKES WORK! Hard work, any relationship does, especially one with God, but it’s worth it, Good luck!

 

[imagine7777]

Hi Paris,

Don’t give up. I’ve felt the same way at times.

Here are some things that have helped me:

I go to daily Mass and weekly confession. This has helped immensely and yes, I’ve felt literally sick and like running out at times because I felt like a “fraud” for being there and not having the right mindset, for lack of a better term. It does definitely help, though. I realize not everyone can do this, but if you can go to Mass throughout the week, I think you would find it helps a lot.

Realize that “feelings” are not what you should be going by. I have had no consolation during prayer, no good feelings for quite a while myself and it’s very hard to persevere (sp?), but don’t give up. I think I read that Mother Teresa said that every prayer she sent up fell back on her like a knife, so it’s not like it’s uncommon even among the saints - maybe especially among the saints - to feel dryness during prayer.

St. John of the Cross does speak extensively on the dark night of the soul, but I really, really have benefitted from reading Interior Castle by St. Teresa. It’s WONDERFUL. Funny, easy to understand, and I almost 100% bet when you read it you’ll have tons of, “Oh my gosh, that’s exactly what I’m going through” moments. It’s filled with great advice. It’s available to read online for free, but I don’t have the link at the moment.

Another super helpful book is “Introduction to the Devout Life” by St. Francis de Sales. It’s excellent and also is like a “how to” book to handle this stage in your spritual life. Also filled with tons of “aha!” moments.

Just my personal opinion, if you tend toward scrupulosity, The Imitation of Christ or other really ascetical type books might not be as helpful at this point in your life. And, I’ll anger lots of people on here I’m sure, but sometimes these forums seem to hinder me because there is a lot of less than charitable dialogue and some posts can make it seem like you might as well give up b/c you’ll never attain x degree of perfection.

I would try and see the same confessor on a regular basis. I see an excellent priest who has gotten to know me and gives wonderful advice. And I too often repeat the same sins. Who doesn’t??? Overcoming sins and working on virtue takes time and “practice”; so naturally, you’re not going to solve everything in one shot, so to speak. And, for me personally, I seem to gain much more strength to stay on the right path by going frequently to Reconciliation.

Father Corapi has a good section on his site, I think it’s called “Spritual 9-1-1” or something, but one thing stood out at me there. There’s a line that says something like, “put all your trust in Jesus, it’s not a feeling, it’s a CHOICE” – that comes back to me often in my struggle.

And, it’s helpful for me to remember that the devil is going to do everything he can to keep us away from God. Making you believe your heart’s not right, making you feel you must change yourself BEFORE seeking help in confession, telling you you don’t really have a desire for change anyway, so throw in the towel. The most insidious way it manifests itself in my life is these little ideas that take root, by turning your own GOOD acts against you. For example, don’t go to Mass; your mind’s not right and you’re mocking God by being there; stay away from confession, you don’t really want to change anyway. You have to recognize and reject these or they can consume your thinking. I mean, really, take a hard look at it: do you think that God wants you to make yourself perfect and THEN go to confession, etc.?? He gave us the sacraments to help bring us closer to Him.

As corny as it sounds, when you’re living apart from God, the devil has you already - he doesn’t have to work at it. When you begin to change your life, he will throw every obstacle possible in your way, including making the good in your life seem bad. Don’t give up! You could be on the verge of making tremendous progress!

I will keep you in my prayers and hope things improve soon.

 

[Forest-Pine]

Paris,

A lot of people tell you to pray the rosary. To go to adoration. To meditate on scripture. They have found a deep and abiding faith when looking deeper into these areas and so promote them to others. Afterall, who could go wrong with the rosary?

I seem to recall you being very active in your previous church. There are plenty of ways to find God in service to others. I would like to encourage you to stop thinking and contemplating and wondering if you are doing the right thing and start working out your salvation. Are you active with a youth group yet? Are you volunteering to work in a soup kitchen? Does Catholic Charities need someone to babysit while they hold meetings for families? Do you have Meals on Wheels in your area? What can you do to keep your mind and hands busy, busy, busy with doing God’s work?

You don’t need to understand faith in order to have it. You don’t have to sit still and listen for a still small voice.

As a matter of fact, it is becoming quite detrimental to your faith. So stop doing it and start doing something else. Look at the many orders of religious life out there. Preachers, friars, missionaries, contemplatives. Some work as doctors, publishers, writers. Have you seen the Fransiscan Friars that run the Catholic Underground? There are so many ways to be Catholic and it doesn’t have to be with a daily rosary, visit to the blessed sacrament, and a certain set of prayers.

Get working so hard that you don’t have the time to be scrupulous–that’s my advice. And the way many a saint has lived. It will fill your need to be active (you’ve said several times that you are ADD, I believe) while also taking away the problem area of contemplative time.

 

[AlanFromWichita]

Dear Paris Blues,

I’ve noticed a few threads in which you are talking about your moodswings, attitudes, etc.

I have some personal experience at moodswings and am confident that the journey you’re on, given the way you write, is every bit as exciting as you report it to be. I’m also convinced you are intelligent, and all you’re doing is trying to make sense of the things you do. Is that so much to ask?

Sorry I didn’t read the whole thread but I skimmed it and saw some very positive messages to you. To me you seem like a moth seeking the flame of Truth, not satisfied with camping out at a distance, you want honest truth and not just ritual and/or lip service.

What is “respect?” One type is that you know something can hurt you so you don’t test it. Another type is that you honor a point of view to the point that you convince yourself you believe it even though it doesn’t make sense.

We are asked to believe a lot of things and “just go along with it” but after a certain point, it seems to be all mumbo-jumbo because it seems like the process is aimed at perpetuating the status quo rather than true healing.

Of course I’m just babbling here; I can only estimate how you feel.

The “couldn’t care less” part it seems to me is a step toward true freedom. At some point you recognize that your mind has to be clear and calm and it can’t be if you’re engaging in things that seem stupid or phony while trying to convince yourself you really don’t think what you do. Once we “don’t care” then we truly quit judging and start learning how things are in their intrinsic nature, rather than blithely assigning them to a good/bad or proper/improper category. I believe all things, including the sacraments, can be either blessings or stumbling blocks. Then again, who said stumbling blocks are bad? Maybe we can turn on the light so we can see them and build a kingdom with them? The block the builders rejected can serve as a capstone, and I will offer my own fried brains as testimony of intellectual rejection.

Alan

 

[scoobydoo6v92]

Here are a few things to try. Of course pray also talk to a priest if you can on a personal level like take him out for dinner and talk to him as you would a friend. Also go to a hospice and be there for the sick and just be there read to them or just be there. Help someone that needs it more than you… Sometimes helping out someone with a misery or problem will make yours feel say not as bad or maybe God will give you the heart you want and need. What got me real good this time was reading something about blastphemy sp??? and it made me so upset and so angry that I felt his love more so than usual. It really hurt me when i read that . Look I am a terrible Catholic and I am comming back slowly. I been there too. Also listen to Father Corapi’s story that will make you think about God as well. When I feel real unCatholic I listen to Mother Angelica on the audio achives she makes me feel brand new God Bless Tom

 

[kage_ar]

You need Catholic friends, real flesh and blood friends (not just those people on the forums…). Companions. That is another reason I keep suggesting you find a group at your parish, at your college - heck, is there a Theology on Tap around you? Catholicism is not a lone wolf faith, we need each other!

 

[FCEGM]

kage_ar:

You need Catholic friends, real flesh and blood friends (not just those people on the forums…). Companions. That is another reason I keep suggesting you find a group at your parish, at your college - heck, is there a Theology on Tap around you? Catholicism is not a lone wolf faith, we need each other!

 

[kitkatty]

Paris please dont stop going to mass and pray,pray, pray even if you dont feel like it. Sounds like a spiritual battle, don`t give up.

 

[epower]

I find myself going to confession for the same things over and over again. That is what makes us human. Each of us has their own weaknesses. I confess the same sins over and over. I would go to confession because I felt contrite. I would try my best to abstain from the sin, only to find myself repeating the same sins over and over. I feel that frequent confession of sin, gives you the strength to abstain from the sin. Just keep on confessing. As God to give you the strength to abstain from the sins.

A priest told me in confession to just pray when you feel under temptation. As the Blessed Mother to sheild her under her cloak, and to give you the grace to avoid the sins.

Despair is a weapon of the devil. The longer we stay away from confession, the more despondent we feel. Then we repeat the sins even more, because we already did mortal sin. The only way to break the pattern is frequent confession.

Confession breaks the pattern. Ask God to make you contrite.

Do you feel a lack of contrite towards your sin, or is it a lack of contriteness because you feel that you will keep repeating the sin?

 

[ThisOne]

Paris,

ThisOne here…

Look. Don’t leave. You will make it. I did, and if I did, you will. I told myself that God quite understands what I’m going through and loves me nonetheless – after all, isn’t that the whole faith???

Talk to Him, forget Confession for now. He needs to be living in you BEFORE you confess your sins. Work on your relationship with Christ one-on-one, in private prayer, as well as you can.

If you love Christ at all, tell Him, and ask Him to help you. That is all you need to do if you can do no more.

But don’t give up on Him, because you will lose everything if you do.

 

[Sir_Knight]

Paris Blues:

what’s the point of going to Confession when I know I’m going to go out and commit the same sins over again?

I’ve heard it said by more than one priest that a saint is a sinner that keeps on trying.