I'm so frustrated

[scapularkid8]

I’m struggling with sins against sexual purity. It seems like I just fall every time I go to Confession so I’m getting so discouraged. I don’t like the new priest at our parish (for now) and I miss the old one who I had known since I was really young. He had been my Confessor since I was about eight, and he knew how to relate things to me in the Confessional on a more holistic perspective which is more effective with me than a scientific one which our new priest uses.I feel like he’s judging me rather than attempting to offer advice. I know religion is not about what you feel, but I just can’t spiritually move forward with this priest like I could with our old one.

It’s so hard to not sin. I’m so weak and it feels like there’s no way out. I keep praying for help and the grace to come past these times of temptation, but I just fall. I know God would never abandon me, but I just see no end to this cycle of Confession, Mass, sin, start over. I know I am a sinner and always will be, but I hate myself for doing these things. I just don’t know where to go from here. I can’t talk to my parents about this (I’m 18) because according to them, masturbation isn’t a sin. I feel so trapped. I know that’s how satan wants me to feel though so I will not give in to that isolated feeling. I just don’t know what to do to see that Christ is always there and loves me even when I fall. I can’t seem to get that concept through my head. I don’t know what to do. I hate that I’m abusing myself and scarring myself by doing these sins, they just make me unhappy, but I keep going back to them. I just want help. I want freedom. I know this will be a long battle, but I just want the end to come sooner than later.

 

[Layman]

My opinion: Well, we are called to live like Saints. The bar is set high, otherwise, well, it wouldn’t be worth doing. It’s just not easy, and never will be, unless you’re low on hormones, I’d say (I’ve heard some folk are, naturally).

My opinion: Just do your best, and try not to get too ‘het-up’ about it.

Or get married! That tends to sap people’s sex drive all right, so I’m told

 

[BennyBoy89]

ScapularKid, as an 18 year old male myself, I know exactly what you’re talking about. In all honesty, I need to get myself to the Confessional this Saturday, while attempting Perfect Contrition until then.

I wouldn’t let the new priest freak you out too much. My one priest that I used to go to for confession tended to be a little “too nice,” in my opinion. It wasn’t that he though my sins weren’t serious, it was just his approach. It has to do with how each priest communicates. I’m a “state the facts, Jack” kind of guy, so someone like me would probably benefit from your new priest. In all honesty, I’ve come to appreciate the screen in confession, because it eliminates the “person to person” aspect, and helps me keep in mind the truth of the situation: that I am a sinner seeking to come Home by confessing my sins to the Father.

Sexual temptation is harsh. Especially for us guys. Two days ago I read on www.pureloveclub.com that a good way to stay pure was to begin your day with 3 Hail Marys for purity of mind, body, and heart.

 

[BarbaraTherese]

Quoting scapularkid:

I’m struggling with sins against sexual purity. It seems like I just fall every time I go to Confession so I’m getting so discouraged.

Hi SK…to continually struggle with the same old sin is probably the lot of most of us and only the kind of sin differs. Often Satan will use this as an attempt to discourage us and if it can discourage us then it is mission accomplished for it.

I don’t like the new priest at our parish (for now) and I miss the old one who I had known since I was really young. He had been my Confessor since I was about eight, and he knew how to relate things to me in the Confessional on a more holistic perspective which is more effective with me than a scientific one which our new priest uses.I feel like he’s judging me rather than attempting to offer advice. I know religion is not about what you feel, but I just can’t spiritually move forward with this priest like I could with our old one.

Confession can become a real trial if one cannot get on with one’s confessor and I had a struggle with this over many years. Rest assured that by going along to Confession despite the keen distaste of one’s confessor and struggling with sin and discouragement as well will bring you many Graces. Ideally it should not be the consistency nor type of sin that is of great surprise to us…rather those areas where we do not struggle with sin and its type and consistency.
The other thought is, do you have transport and are you able to seek out an alternative confessor and perhaps one that will not be distasteful and not so unhelpful to you with the advice or whatever.
We are sinners and it is the nature of sinners, to sin. At 18 years of age when hormones are still very active, it is not at all unusual to struggle with purity and sins against purity. The very fact that you are struggling and trying and trying not to become discouraged actually lessens the seriousness of the sin.

It’s so hard to not sin. I’m so weak and it feels like there’s no way out. I keep praying for help and the grace to come past these times of temptation, but I just fall. I know God would never abandon me, but I just see no end to this cycle of Confession, Mass, sin, start over. I know I am a sinner and always will be, but I hate myself for doing these things. I just don’t know where to go from here. I can’t talk to my parents about this (I’m 18) because according to them, masturbation isn’t a sin. I feel so trapped. I know that’s how satan wants me to feel though so I will not give in to that isolated feeling. I just don’t know what to do to see that Christ is always there and loves me even when I fall. I can’t seem to get that concept through my head. I don’t know what to do. I hate that I’m abusing myself and scarring myself by doing these sins, they just make me unhappy, but I keep going back to them. I just want help. I want freedom. I know this will be a long battle, but I just want the end to come sooner than later.

I know you cannot sight it probably, but you are surely very pleasing to The Lord after reading the above. Keep praying, keep going to Confession despite discouragement and distaste for your confessor and keep fighting that discouragement…you will be victorious in Grace.

but I just see no end to this cycle of Confession, Mass, sin, start over.

Because one cannot see logically an end to one’s struggles with sin, does not mean whatsoever that there will not be an end. We are human and limited and certainly cannot predict with guaranteed accuracy the next moment even.
And do rest assured that most of us I am sure are engaged on some level somewhere in the cycle of Confession, Mass, sin, begin again with Confession etc.
The very reason The Lord has assured us of His Loving Mercy if we turn to it (which you do), is because He does understand that we are sinners and often falling into sin of some kind.

God bless you and grant you His Peace and consolations with wisdom and understanding…regards…Barb

 

[KingAlfred]

I’m struggling with sins against sexual purity. It seems like I just fall every time I go to Confession so I’m getting so discouraged. I don’t like the new priest at our parish (for now) and I miss the old one who I had known since I was really young. He had been my Confessor since I was about eight, and he knew how to relate things to me in the Confessional on a more holistic perspective which is more effective with me than a scientific one which our new priest uses.I feel like he’s judging me rather than attempting to offer advice. I know religion is not about what you feel, but I just can’t spiritually move forward with this priest like I could with our old one.

It’s so hard to not sin. I’m so weak and it feels like there’s no way out. I keep praying for help and the grace to come past these times of temptation, but I just fall. I know God would never abandon me, but I just see no end to this cycle of Confession, Mass, sin, start over. I know I am a sinner and always will be, but I hate myself for doing these things. I just don’t know where to go from here. I can’t talk to my parents about this (I’m 18) because according to them, masturbation isn’t a sin. I feel so trapped. I know that’s how satan wants me to feel though so I will not give in to that isolated feeling. I just don’t know what to do to see that Christ is always there and loves me even when I fall. I can’t seem to get that concept through my head. I don’t know what to do. I hate that I’m abusing myself and scarring myself by doing these sins, they just make me unhappy, but I keep going back to them. I just want help. I want freedom. I know this will be a long battle, but I just want the end to come sooner than later.

The fact you realize it’s a sin means you care, which counts. Try to control the urge, but don’t get depressed. It’s quite common. Just don’t let it get the best of you. Stay calm. You might want to consider discussing it with someone else.

 

[AJ85]

Masturbation gives you a few seconds of pleasure, but you are left with disappointment and shame. Try to remember how bad you feel afterward. Don’t act on emotions or feelings, try to think about it.
Sometimes it feels like you can never break free of sin’s grip, but if you keep working at it with God’s help, you will conquer it.

 

[KingAlfred]

The fact you realize it’s a sin means you care, which counts. Try to control the urge, but don’t get depressed. It’s quite common. Just don’t let it get the best of you. Stay calm. You might want to consider discussing it with someone else.

This sounds as though I disaprove of your discussing here. That’s not what I meant. What I meant was that perhaps you’d get better results talking about it to someone besides your priest. It is, after all, very personal. I don’t think I could discuss it with my priest, for example.

 

[Pacbox]

You know what helped when I was dealing with sexaul sin? I had ended up reading an article that linked the Eucharist with Confession. By going to Confession, I would be able to receive the Eucharist and be one with Jesus. It took a few turns in the confessional but I honestly believe learning that connection and confession helped me kick the sin. Now, when I am tempted, I just think that if I give in I can’t receive the Eucharist. Oh, I could go to Confession but why close myself off from God with sin when saying no to the sin is much better. So when I’m tempted I just think about the Eucharist. Don’t ask me why but it works.

Keep going to Confession. Don’t worry what the priest thinks, it matters that you know that it’s a sin and recognize it as such. If you have to find another priest, do so. I don’t go to my parish priest now but go to a parish a few miles up the road. I love the fact that they (the priests at this parish) let me call my sins sins and don’t downplay any. Plus, they remind me that God loves me and does so through the Sacrament of Reconciliation. So I get the balance and help I need. (Sorry, I rambled there.)

 

[onetimeposter]

If your agonizing over this…why not talk to a Priest about it or see if you get a Spiritual Director.