I'm so lost

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joleenmarie

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I’m sorry I keep posting so much, but I’m going through some real pain, here.
Lately, I’ve been contemplating ending things, because I can’t see a future. My own prayers don’t lighten my heart or give me hope, they only seem to make me feel more desperate.

Please pray for me.

I know many of you think I’m probably pretty stupid to be 39 years old and mourning a break up like this, but I gave up everything for this man and he still can’t tell me why. I have no job, no health insurance, and it feels like I have no future. I rarely leave the house. And people keep telling me it could be worse. And yes, I have both my arms and legs, my cats, and friends, but this pain is more than I have ever had to bear, and I’ve been though trauma before.
 
From today’s Liturgy of the Hours:

Prayers and Intercessions
Blessed be God our Father, who protects his children and does not spurn their prayers. Let us all humbly pray to him:
– Lord, give us light to see by.

We thank you, Lord, for sending us your only Son to enlighten us:
may his light fill us all day long.
– Lord, give us light to see by.

Lord, send your wisdom to lead us through the day:
let us walk in the purity of a new life.
– Lord, give us light to see by.

Give us the strength to endure adversity for your sake:
with courage let us serve you unceasingly.
– Lord, give us light to see by.

Guide our thoughts, our feelings and our actions today,
so that we may serve you and follow you.
– Lord, give us light to see by.

Our Father, who art in Heaven,
hallowed be thy name.
Thy kingdom come,
thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread,
and forgive us our trespasses
as we forgive those who trespass against us,
and lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil.

We pray to you, Lord, the true Light and the creator of light.
May we keep our minds on what is holy
and live always in the brightness of your presence.
Through our Lord Jesus Christ, your Son,
who lives and reigns with you in the unity of the Holy Spirit,
God for ever and ever.
Amen.

May the Lord bless us and keep us from all harm; and may he lead us to eternal life.
 
I have been there. I found out late in life that I had a mild form of Schizophrenia.
I was an alcoholic to deal with the paranoia and anxiety. Now I am disabled, but my
son is in foster care and my wife is in a group home 40 miles away from me. All at the
order of the DHS. Life sucks if I let myself think about it. I will pray for you; at 30 my
girlfriend left me and I was living at my parents house; all I did was cry…
I understand, but don’t give up. I know that it is more pain than you can bear, but hang in
their and it will get better.

Praying for you!!!
 
Joleen,

**i am sorry to hear of your pain, yet i am sure God is working in you for a greater purpose!

Jesus sacrificed everything & suffered for us! Perhaps this is the perfect time to join your suffering with that of Jesus on the Cross;

“Through him we have obtained access to this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in our hope of sharing the glory of God. 3 More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, 4 and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, 5 and hope does not disappoint us, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit which has been given to us.” (Ro 5:2-5)
**
Sancta Maria, Mater Dei, ora Pro Nobis Peccatoribus!

mark
 
If the guy can’t tell you why the breakup, most likely his remaining would have been a bigger tragedy than his going. I know it’s easy for me to say, and hard for you to accept, but I have seen that played out a hundred times. I don’t know how many times I have told people in similar situations “He/she did you a favor.” They never believe it when I say it, but it ALWAYS turns out to be true.

I feel like a hypocrite saying anything to you. My situation is easy compared to yours, and I know that. Nevertheless, I will suffer and die, and I will be judged. Compared to that, almost anything in this life is a cakewalk. And undoubtedly you, Joleen, because of your suffering, will be judged less harshly than will I.
 
joleenmarie said:
I’m sorry I keep posting so much, but I’m going through some real pain, here.
Lately, I’ve been contemplating ending things, because I can’t see a future. My own prayers don’t lighten my heart or give me hope, they only seem to make me feel more desperate.

Please pray for me.

I know many of you think I’m probably pretty stupid to be 39 years old and mourning a break up like this, but I gave up everything for this man and he still can’t tell me why. I have no job, no health insurance, and it feels like I have no future. I rarely leave the house. And people keep telling me it could be worse. And yes, I have both my arms and legs, my cats, and friends, but this pain is more than I have ever had to bear, and I’ve been though trauma before.
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Joleen – as a man I have been where you are and it all seems like it is never going to get better. It took some years for me to get over the relationship, a broken engagement. One thing I do know is that what you are feeling will pass.
A story that has helped me over the years is this one: A maharajah in India was out of his wits as drought, famine and death from starvation tore at the very fabric of his people. He called his wise men together to see what he could do . He felt completely helpless. The wise men went away and one returned the next day to ask for one of his rings which the maharajah gave him wondering.

The next day the wise man returned and before he gave the ring back to the maharajah he said, :Your majesty, inscribed in this ring are three words that will help you not ony in these bad, terrible times, but also in the good times which lie ahead."

With that he gave the ring to the maharajah. He looked inside the ring and read “It will pass”

I will with others and pray you for I have witnessed the great healing power of prayer.

John Patrick
 
Please, Please, Please Joleen talk with your friends, talk with your parents! You are only 39 and have your whole life ahead of you. You have your friends, your parents, your cats all of which Love you so much. I’m sure they’re all broken hearted to see you so much in despair. The break up I’m sure is an awful thing, but you sound so destroyed. Don’t ever think you have no where to turn. There is always sadness when our dreams don’t turn out the way we want and I could sit here and tell you about my experiences as could everyone else here could, but it would have little effect to cure your hurt. Dreams change and while there is always sadness when that happens, there are also wonderful results. DON"T GIVE UP!! Seek help, be it a friend, a relative, a priest…go to confession and talk to the priest about it. Talk to God ask for his help.

I’ll be praying for you!
 
I’ll pray for you, joleenmarie. May your pain lessen and may you persevere in faith. May you meet with a holy priest to discuss your feelings with, and may he help bring you closer to the Lord, who alone can heal you. Amen.
 
Dj87 said:
Please, Please, Please Joleen talk with your friends, talk with your parents! You are only 39 and have your whole life ahead of you. You have your friends, your parents, your cats all of which Love you so much. I’m sure they’re all broken hearted to see you so much in despair. The break up I’m sure is an awful thing, but you sound so destroyed. Don’t ever think you have no where to turn. There is always sadness when our dreams don’t turn out the way we want and I could sit here and tell you about my experiences as could everyone else here could, but it would have little effect to cure your hurt. Dreams change and while there is always sadness when that happens, there are also wonderful results. DON"T GIVE UP!! Seek help, be it a friend, a relative, a priest…go to confession and talk to the priest about it. Talk to God ask for his help.

I’ll be praying for you!
Click to expand...
I am destroyed. I gave up everything to be with this man. I ended a marriage with a man who loved me, but couldn’t give me what I needed emotionally, and who would not even entertain a discussion about having children, which for me was a deal breaker. And then, my friend Beau was there and wanted the same things. He wanted a relationship, marriage, and children. It was long distance and it was good. And he loved me. Still says he loves me. I know he has his own demons he’s wrestling with, I just don’t understand why it’s me that’s expendable in all of this. So yes, I am destroyed. We were supposed to marry this year and start a family. I had already wasted the best child-bearing years trying to negotiate with my ex husband. And then, I had this promise of love and family. And suddenly, it was taken away. I have no job. I have no future. And I have no potential for love or children right now, something I desperately need. I am destroyed. My faith is failing. I prayed everyday for Beau, got him, only to have him taken from me for some unknown reason that even Beau can’t explain. I love my parents, but they don’t know what to do. My mother is not the most sympathetic person, though sometimes she tries. But to her, my despair is weakness. My ex husband is even trying to be loving and supportive, which is testament to what a good person he is and my friends are trying, but I can’t be all that much fun to be around when I cry constantly. I’m afraid to push even my friends away. And God doesn’t seem to be hearing me.

I want reconciliation. I want to travel back in time and fix things–things that I didn’t know were broken–but to have the opportunity.

But since I can’t have those things, all I want is an end.
 
Joleen,
I will keep you in my prayers. I know about the desperate feelings of hopelessness. I know it seems dark, but it will get better. My life is in turmoil too, but i realize that I am going through something. I will come out on the other side an He is helping me to get through. He will help you to get through too, this I believe.

Kepp praying, even when you feel like God isn’t listening. that is what Faith is about.

God Bless.
Amy
 
Remember, you don’t know what’sngoing on with Beau right? It’s most likely nothing you did. He’s got something he’s dealing with and he’s dealing with it as he wants to. There is NOTHING wrong with you and YOU didn’t do anything wrong! Your story is very sad and I would wager it’s the yearning for a child that’s hurting the most. You see your biological clock ticking and it’s rubbing salt in the wound like crazy. Relax,stand back, and take a deep breath. If God wants you to have a child, his plan will come together and you can’t do anything to change that, or make it happen any faster. Everything and Anything that God does to you has a purpose and you don’t know the reasons behind it, but everything will work out. Remember happiness is truly a state of mind and if you start to look for happiness, putting just a tiny bit of the hurt behind you every day, gradually it will fade. It’s too bad that there isn’t a switch that you can just flip and the pain goes away. Hang in there!! Keep your hopes high!! Put all your energy towards the good things in your life however trivial you may think they are. And if you don’t have anyone you can confide in about your true feelings and to have a heart to heart talk with, promise me you’ll go to a priest be it in confession or otherwise and let the hurt out. Don’t ever think there is nowhere to go and Never Ever give up!!
 
Dj87 said:
Remember, you don’t know what’sngoing on with Beau right? It’s most likely nothing you did. He’s got something he’s dealing with and he’s dealing with it as he wants to. There is NOTHING wrong with you and YOU didn’t do anything wrong! Your story is very sad and I would wager it’s the yearning for a child that’s hurting the most. You see your biological clock ticking and it’s rubbing salt in the wound like crazy. Relax,stand back, and take a deep breath. If God wants you to have a child, his plan will come together and you can’t do anything to change that, or make it happen any faster. Everything and Anything that God does to you has a purpose and you don’t know the reasons behind it, but everything will work out. Remember happiness is truly a state of mind and if you start to look for happiness, putting just a tiny bit of the hurt behind you every day, gradually it will fade. It’s too bad that there isn’t a switch that you can just flip and the pain goes away. Hang in there!! Keep your hopes high!! Put all your energy towards the good things in your life however trivial you may think they are. And if you don’t have anyone you can confide in about your true feelings and to have a heart to heart talk with, promise me you’ll go to a priest be it in confession or otherwise and let the hurt out. Don’t ever think there is nowhere to go and Never Ever give up!!
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I’m trying hard to keep the faith. I don’t have much energy to put towards much of anything. I pray every day. I pray for the Holy Souls in Purgatory, several novenas, I pray for other people, and I try to keep the faith. And regardless of whether I did anything wrong, my happiness, which in spite of my disappointments on the job front, I was able to maintain, it was taken from me. We had a good relationship. He was kind to me. He was loving and loved me. And I invested emotionally in this relationship in a way I never had before. So, whether I did anything wrong or not, I am the one who is hurting and who has no control over the situation. I’ll speak to him again in September, but as much as I want to hope he’ll miss me and come around, I’m so afraid he won’t. Still, I pray. And it feels they go unheard. And now, I feel like I just can’t cope. I used to be so strong and now, well, now I’m not.

I mean, you’d think I’d have enough going for me. I’m not too old, I have 2 advanced degrees, and yet I’m falling apart because of a man.
 
Not always. One may suffer.

though different,

:console:

Our Father
who art in heaven,
hallowed be thy name.
Thy kingdom come.
Thy will be done
on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread,
and forgive us our trespasses,
as we forgive those who trespass against us,
and lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil.
Amen
 
roselily said:
Not always. One may suffer.

though different,

:console:

Our Father
who art in heaven,
hallowed be thy name.
Thy kingdom come.
Thy will be done
on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread,
and forgive us our trespasses,
as we forgive those who trespass against us,
and lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil.
Amen
Click to expand...
Christ Himself called to the Father to remove this bitter cup from Him; still He drank it. Christ Himself died on the cross to give us eternal life. I have read many Saints died in torture also. and I saw many brothers sisters suffer in different ways, but one day the children of God will say How happy we are ! Happiness inexhaustible.
We pray His kingdom come !

We remain true and pure and keep our faith; and for the rest, trust to God.
 
roselily said:
Christ Himself called to the Father to remove this bitter cup from Him; still He drank it. Christ Himself died on the cross to give us eternal life. I have read many Saints died in torture also. and I saw many brothers sisters suffer in different ways, but one day the children of God will say How happy we are ! Happiness inexhaustible.
We pray His kingdom come !

We remain true and pure and keep our faith; and for the rest, trust to God.
Click to expand...
:gopray:youtube.com/watch?v=zUR9n8J75lY&feature=related:angel1:
 
Thank you for your prayers. Please continue to keep me in them. I’m at my wit’s end with this heartbreak and joblessness. 😦
 
Oh God in whom mercy is endless and the treasury of compassion inexhaustable look kindly on us and especially your beloved child here who feels so lost. Increase thy mercy in her so that she have strength. Grant to her your love and protection. We pray for the easing of financial burdens on people and for opportunities for the unempoloyed. May she turn to you and obtain the grace to offer sufferings and afflictions through the immaculate heart of Mary. Amen
 
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