Well, you want frankness, you need frankness, so Iâll offer frankness.
This statement of yours: " I donât have the time or money for it."
Really says: âIâd rather be angry and blame God and everyone else than find a solutionâ.
Because the truth of the matter is you donât have to endure all the symptoms of your condition. You choose to by rejecting the treatment which is available to you.
You have ADD - so do millions of other peopleâŚthere is medication available and it doesnât cost hundreds of dollars.
You have a learning disability affecting your reading comprehension - so do millions of other people.
You donât have to read the bible or prayers or anything else these days - theyâre available on tape. There are talks explaining scripture for teens if that level of comprehension is better suited for your abilities (meaning they donât use those hugh techinical terms and concepts - they tell it like it is in plain english).
As for making a living - well obviously you donât have to pursue a job in a library or bookstore or any other place which requires a lot of reading or technical training.
My kids have ADD. They have learned to live with their condition and theyâve known for years that they have to find career paths which is suited to the ADD personality - there are many out there. My daughter is into theater and singing and writing. My son is into psychology and movie making, directing, writing pieces for newspapers. These are fields which are not 9 to 5 sitting in a cubicle doing the same thing over and over againg. They are jobs which require creative burts of energy and thinking, perfect for their abilities (not disabilities). Speaking to any community college learning disabilities counselor will help you find out what type of job is best suited for the skills and abilities you have to offer.
As for the anger, my son, at one time swore up a storm during Eucharistic adoration he was sooooooo angry (this is at age 16). He did not hold back in his choice or words and he directed them at that host on display. It scared the dickens out of me and his sister because he rarely loses his temper and being in the presence of God, we didnât know where this anger was coming from. (We frantically got on our knees and started praying the rosary and continued until well after he settled down). But God was with him through the tantrum. It wasnât for me to understand. It was for him and God to work out.
A couple of months later my son âexperienced an epiphanyâ, using his own words, not mine - and he has been calmer, more focused, has been off his ADD and depression medication for months and is doing ok. All with the support of his regular doctor and his therapist, thoughâŚnot on his own.
We believe that tantrum - that sheer anger, hate, frustration he couldnât contain anymore - was allowed to be released at that precise moment in the Presence of Christ for a purpose. He emptied himself that night and that made more room for God.
**If **you really want your anxiety, depression, anger, troubles to end then you MAKE the time, FIND the clinics to take on your case on a sliding scale, to GET THE HELP YOU NEED.
You are asking people here to invest time and energy coming up with things to say to help you feel better about yourself but you arenât doing what it takes to help yourself. Thatâs not a reasonable expectation.
God has given you the support you need to live His life with the conditions you have, but you have to access and rely on that support system. You start with a good therapist and a good career counselor and your priest and your family and friends.
