I'm terribly jealous of Mary

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It just seems like God gave Mary so much grace, while I have little. She already has the highest possible level of heaven attained for her, and it makes me jealous, even though it shouldn’t. It seems like God gave her the highest capacity to love him more, and in turn, gave her the highest vision of Him. I have a sort of mental block that bothers me in that if I can’t get the best, I don’t even want to try. But I have to try. Why did God underprivilege me? Would it be wrong to ask Him for more grace and the capacity to achieve merit and love Him?
 
“Would it be wrong to ask Him for more grace and the capacity to achieve merit and love Him?”

This, of course, is never wrong…I get having a little emotional jealousy of Mary but intellectually I can’t. Like the brother who obeyed his father in the prodigal son story - should he have been jealous or happy for his brother who returned home and received so much attention from their father?
 
Does your jealousy come from ignorance of her attributes and a lack of self examination? I would meditate on her characteristics of piety, holiness, humility, trust and perseverance and complete submission to the Trinity. Most of all I would meditate on the love she has for her Son and the way that love manifested itself during His crucifixion and death. I would be glad for that and would specifically think of her sufferings.

If I were having this problem, I would then do an examination of conscience (while remembering God made Mary without sin to enable the redemption of mankind.) I would ask for the grace to see the areas of my life that need amending and would pray the Spirit reveal my sins to me.

And finally I would contemplate Mary’s love for humanity and her necessary role as intercessor and Mother. I would tearfully confess my feelings to her and ask her to obtain for me the grace to loosen the negativity I am experiencing in order that I might come into God’s light. And finally as an antidote to envy I would recall all of God’s blessings to me and ask for the gift of gratitude.
 
While it would be nice to be as close to Jesus as Mary is, I would never want to watch my perfect son suffer so much at the hands of wicked men. Mary suffered so much because of the grace she was given.
 
When I read about the lives of the Saints and of Our Lady, I find very little to be jealous of. The pain - physical, emotional, or spiritual that many, many endured seems overwhelming to me. To whom much has been given, much will be required. Use/apply what grace you have been given and grow greater in grace and faith. And I can guarantee that suffering will be a part of that growth.
 
10gr8kids said:
While it would be nice to be as close to Jesus as Mary is, I would never want to watch my perfect son suffer so much at the hands of wicked men. Mary suffered so much because of the grace she was given.
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Agreed.
 
perhaps asking yourself if you love God like Mary loves God would help?

maybe, examining whether or not you do God’s will to the extent Mary does God’s will might help?

perhaps meditating on how much God loves you already might help?

perhaps meditating on why you think God giving you eternal life is not enough for you would be useful?

since this is not an area I have ever considered, these might not be useful questions and meditations. I just do not know. I have never heard of your problem before this thread.

I can say with some certainty that you should always try to banish these thoughts and feelings whenever they arise. they are definitely not coming from the Holy Spirit. they are temptations, whatever their source, to find fault with God and that can never be useful or beneficial. whenever these temptations arise, re-direct yourself to praying for the salvation of souls and asking for blessings on your enemies. if you have trouble identifying enemies, try praying for the soldiers of al Qaeda, boka haran, ISIS and other violent extremist groups who are in desperate need of the Holy Spirit penetrating their consciousnesses.
 
Nanotwerp said:
It just seems like God gave Mary so much grace, while I have little. She already has the highest possible level of heaven attained for her, and it makes me jealous, even though it shouldn’t. It seems like God gave her the highest capacity to love him more, and in turn, gave her the highest vision of Him. I have a sort of mental block that bothers me in that if I can’t get the best, I don’t even want to try. But I have to try. Why did God underprivilege me? Would it be wrong to ask Him for more grace and the capacity to achieve merit and love Him?
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Pray to God for the grace to overcome this barrier. Jealousy is a result of pride. In order to overcome pride, one must become humble.

God sent His only Son into the world to suffer on a cross. He didn’t do it because of His sins, which are none, but rather because of your sins, because of your faults. He offers Himself to you every day by Holy Communion. How then can you say that you receive little grace? He has saved you from eternal damnation, and you act as if He hasn’t given you enough. He hasn’t underpriveleged you, you have underpriveleged yourself through your sins. God is so merciful, he could send you to Hell after any mortal sin you have ever committed, just one, and it would be just. But out of pure mercy, he doesn’t. Why then do you think He hasn’t treated you well?

God will give you amazing graces if you reject yourself and follow Him. But sin hinders that when you choose to rebel against Him. Therefore, it is your fault that you are not privileged with graces, not God’s. Even when you still sin,God gives you the graces to come back to Him.

Mary is special because she chose not to sin, unlike all of us. She chose to worship and glorify God, and in return God has given her many graces. She was born without Original Sin
because God knew she wouldn’t sin, unlike the rest of us.

And praying for the grace to love Him is exactly what you should do. You should especially pray to the Blessed Virgin Mother to intercede for you and to ask God to give the grace to live a humble life.
 
With all due respect OP, I think you need a serious dose of humility
 
Nanotwerp said:
It just seems like God gave Mary so much grace, while I have little. She already has the highest possible level of heaven attained for her, and it makes me jealous, even though it shouldn’t. It seems like God gave her the highest capacity to love him more, and in turn, gave her the highest vision of Him. I have a sort of mental block that bothers me in that if I can’t get the best, I don’t even want to try. But I have to try. Why did God underprivilege me? Would it be wrong to ask Him for more grace and the capacity to achieve merit and love Him?
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You need to ask “Why did God grant Mary so many graces?” to understand what he accomplished by doing that.

Mary is the Second Eve–the one whom God chose to be the Mother of the new humanity, redeemed in Christ, the Second Adam. As Eve was the mother of all humankind, but fell, bringing to all death, so Mary is the one who brought life to all mankind in her Son. When Mary said her fiat she knew she was accepting a mission not just the graces to live a perfect life. She needed those graces because of the high mission she was to fulfill–not because she deserved them more than anyone else. Although, by her faithfulness to God–her cooperation with his will she did gain graces because of that.

God grants special graces to individuals to fulfill his will in their lives. He chose many people down through history for special missions, Mary wasn’t the first. They all underwent great trials. Some were put to death. Are you ready for that?

What we need to remember is that along with many graces come many sorrows, trials and troubles. Jesus said, “To whom much is given much is required.” If you truly want all the graces Mary has, you have to be willing to suffer all she suffered. Are you ready for that? If not, you may want to rethink being jealous.

James and John asked Jesus to sit at his right and left in the Kingdom. He asked them, “Are you prepared to drink from the cup I must drink from?” In their arrogance and ignorance they said, “Yes.” So, he told them that they would indeed drink from the same cup–the cup of suffering and martyrdom. Are you willing to be a martyr or do you just want the glory? You cannot have the glory without the cross. First embrace the cross Christ gave you and then think about the graces you wish him to give you. 🙂
 
Della said:
You need to ask “Why did God grant Mary so many graces?” to understand what he accomplished by doing that.

Mary is the Second Eve–the one whom God chose to be the Mother of the new humanity, redeemed in Christ, the Second Adam. As Eve was the mother of all humankind, but fell, bringing to all death, so Mary is the one who brought life to all mankind in her Son. When Mary said her fiat she knew she was accepting a mission not just the graces to live a perfect life. She needed those graces because of the high mission she was to fulfill–not because she deserved them more than anyone else. Although, by her faithfulness to God–her cooperation with his will she did gain graces because of that.

God grants special graces to individuals to fulfill his will in their lives. He chose many people down through history for special missions, Mary wasn’t the first. They all underwent great trials. Some were put to death. Are you ready for that?

What we need to remember is that along with many graces come many sorrows, trials and troubles. Jesus said, “To whom much is given much is required.” If you truly want all the graces Mary has, you have to be willing to suffer all she suffered. Are you ready for that? If not, you may want to rethink being jealous.

James and John asked Jesus to sit at his right and left in the Kingdom. He asked them, “Are you prepared to drink from the cup I must drink from?” In their arrogance and ignorance they said, “Yes.” So, he told them that they would indeed drink from the same cup–the cup of suffering and martyrdom. Are you willing to be a martyr or do you just want the glory? You cannot have the glory without the cross. First embrace the cross Christ gave you and then think about the graces you wish him to give you. 🙂
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At this point, yes. It’ll pay off in the end. You don’t even know how much this one piece of text encouraged me. Thank you.
 
Nanotwerp said:
At this point, yes. It’ll pay off in the end. You don’t even know how much this one piece of text encouraged me. Thank you.
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You’re welcome. If we come at these questions from the standpoint of why God grants special graces to some individuals it makes it easier to understand.

St. Therese of Lisieux approched it by comparing flowers. Not all flowers can be roses. Most of us are like wild flowers–like the lilies of the field Jesus talked about. God loves the lowly wayside flower as much as the rose for both are his creation and sing his praises in their own way. 🙂
 
I’m jealous of any saint.
I’m jealous of anyone who had God comfort them.
 
Nanotwerp said:
It just seems like God gave Mary so much grace, while I have little. She already has the highest possible level of heaven attained for her, and it makes me jealous, even though it shouldn’t. It seems like God gave her the highest capacity to love him more, and in turn, gave her the highest vision of Him. I have a sort of mental block that bothers me in that if I can’t get the best, I don’t even want to try. But I have to try. Why did God underprivilege me? Would it be wrong to ask Him for more grace and the capacity to achieve merit and love Him?
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The reason that Mary is so great a saint is not because she is so blessed but because she is so humble. What you are going through is a spiritual struggle. You are in good company because all of us struggle with some fault or another. I have never struggled with jealousy of our Blessed Mother, but I did go through terrible anxieties about not feeling like I was as good of a parent as another family in our parish. I continually rejected thoughts of jealousy. I did not want to be them but seeing them and how well they were raising their children made me feel so bad as if I were not good enough. So I kept making excuses and listing all what I had to deal with and I don’t have the talents they have etc. After many months of anxieties bearing down on me, I said “Yes, they are better than me but that is ok, as long as I try to be the best that God created me to be” And in an instant that weighty burden was lifted as if it were never there. Regarding your feeling about our Blessed Mother, I suggest reading “True Devotion to Mary” by St. Louis Marie DeMontfort. It may help.
 
Nanotwerp said:
It just seems like God gave Mary so much grace, while I have little. She already has the highest possible level of heaven attained for her, and it makes me jealous, even though it shouldn’t. It seems like God gave her the highest capacity to love him more, and in turn, gave her the highest vision of Him. I have a sort of mental block that bothers me in that if I can’t get the best, I don’t even want to try. But I have to try. Why did God underprivilege me? Would it be wrong to ask Him for more grace and the capacity to achieve merit and love Him?
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I like to think of Mt 20
Or are you envious because I am generous?
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1996 Grace is favor, the free and undeserved help that God gives us to respond to his call to become children of God, adoptive sons, partakers of the divine nature and of eternal life.
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We all tend to be envious of the gifts that others receive. We think as humans. If you have more, that must mean that I have less, as if grace is limited, as if there is a scarcity of it.
We tend to think of grace in quantity, but it is beyond measure, so it is pointless to look at the unique vocation God gave to Mary and say that she has “more”, when the grace given to her is immeasurable. Likewise, so is the grace given to you immeasurable. Mary is simply graced in a different and wholly unique way. So are you. God pours out to every unique person the grace of His own divine life.
She is the Mother of God. You are simply who you are. Your vocation is to live forever united with our loving God. What more in the way of grace can we ask for?
1998 This vocation to eternal life is supernatural. It depends entirely on God’s gratuitous initiative, for he alone can reveal and give himself. It surpasses the power of human intellect and will, as that of every other creature.
1999 The grace of Christ is the gratuitous gift that God makes to us of his own life
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Sometimes I think the whole of the Christian life is to come to gratitude for the grace that God pours out on
  1. others
    and
  2. myself
    without wishing I had more of it.
    Very hard to do.
 
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Disrespectful to the Blessed Mother
 
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