I'm the Non-Catholic in my Marriage

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TwoMorningStars

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This is my very first post, so please be gentle with me!

I am married to a more traditional Catholic man, who I love dearly. We have one young child who I have agreed to raise in the Church, however, I am not Catholic. I was raised protestant, but more realistically would call myself a spiritual-not-religious-Christian. Also, (and I don’t mean to sound arrogant) I am very well educated about religion in general so I don’t think I need more books or reading. I feel drawn to the Church, but I have a lot of questions. I have even sat in on RCIA sessions, but they were just not the place to get into in depth discussions. I am not sure if it is appropriate to talk to a priest. I am very intimidated about posting my questions here because I am afraid of being blasted. I truly and deeply respect the Church, and I am hoping to find someone to walk with me as I grapple with my relationship to it.

As an FYI, I don’t feel ready to talk about these things with my husband because he is very sensitive to anything that sounds like a criticism of his faith and I don’t want to hurt him.

This might sound silly, but I was sort of hoping for a pen pal to exchange with.

Any advice and prayers are welcome.
I would love any insight,
 
First of all, welcome to CAF!

Second, any priest should be pleased to answer your questions. I do understand feeling a little nervous about going to one, though, so if you’d like a “pen pal” of sorts (and no, that doesn’t sound at all silly) feel free to PM me! I’d say that I’m pretty well-read on matters pertaining to the Faith, and I genuinely love to discuss/answer questions about it, to the point that I teach baptism classes at my Church. I promise not to preach, however. 😉
 
Hi and welcome to the forum! :tiphat: Please free to ask us your questions. No one means to be rude or uncharitable here, but sometime passions and opinions get in the way of good manners and common sense. It would be just fine for you to call and make an appointment with a priest so you can discuss your questions and concerns; it’s part of the job! :compcoff:
 
Welcome to CAF! 👋

I think it’s great that you are seeking. I can understand wanting to clarify things on your own head before bringing it up to your husband (though, of course, he should eventually be a great person to talk to about all this).

I know the idea of asking a priest questions can be intimidating, but they really are approachable and pastoral guys (for the most part! :p). So don’t rule it out.

Not that I am the be-all-end-all of Catholic knowledge, but you can feel free to send me a PM if you have any questions. I’ll try to answer and at least admit if I do not know something. :o

Don’t be too afraid about posting questions on the forum, though. There are some posters who construe any honest question as an attack upon the Church that must be defended. But there are many nice posters, too. You just have to develop a thick skin regarding certain topics. 😉

God bless!
 
If you’d like to correspond with a woman old enough to be your grandma (probably - I’m 72) who converted at age 9, I’d be glad to correspond with you on the forum or via PM or emails. I used to teach RCIA and Catechism, but I’m not an expert in everything Catholic. If it gets into complex theology, I’m often lost. Basics I do know pretty well. I’m also a Eucharistic Minister, Server, and occasional mentor for potential converts in my Parish area. So feel free to PM me, or ask questions on this forum. Someone may jump in and be unkind or “preachy”, but the majority of us try hard to be informative, kind and answer sincere questions from those who are seeking. Good Luck and God Bless!
 
TwoMorningStars said:
This is my very first post, so please be gentle with me!

I am married to a more traditional Catholic man, who I love dearly. We have one young child who I have agreed to raise in the Church, however, I am not Catholic. I was raised protestant, but more realistically would call myself a spiritual-not-religious-Christian. Also, (and I don’t mean to sound arrogant) I am very well educated about religion in general so I don’t think I need more books or reading. I feel drawn to the Church, but I have a lot of questions. I have even sat in on RCIA sessions, but they were just not the place to get into in depth discussions. I am not sure if it is appropriate to talk to a priest. I am very intimidated about posting my questions here because I am afraid of being blasted. I truly and deeply respect the Church, and I am hoping to find someone to walk with me as I grapple with my relationship to it.

As an FYI, I don’t feel ready to talk about these things with my husband because he is very sensitive to anything that sounds like a criticism of his faith and I don’t want to hurt him.

This might sound silly, but I was sort of hoping for a pen pal to exchange with.

Any advice and prayers are welcome.
I would love any insight,
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You have an army of ready-made pen-pals here. That’s for sure.

Nobody is going to blast you, and I commend you on your courage to come here and discuss with us. Thank you.

As far as talking with the priest; I strenuously recommend it. It is his JOB to guide us all in matters of spirituality.

God bless you and your family.
 
TwoMorningStars said:
This is my very first post, so please be gentle with me!

I am married to a more traditional Catholic man, who I love dearly. We have one young child who I have agreed to raise in the Church, however, I am not Catholic. I was raised protestant, but more realistically would call myself a spiritual-not-religious-Christian. Also, (and I don’t mean to sound arrogant) I am very well educated about religion in general so I don’t think I need more books or reading. I feel drawn to the Church, but I have a lot of questions. I have even sat in on RCIA sessions, but they were just not the place to get into in depth discussions. I am not sure if it is appropriate to talk to a priest. I am very intimidated about posting my questions here because I am afraid of being blasted. I truly and deeply respect the Church, and I am hoping to find someone to walk with me as I grapple with my relationship to it.

As an FYI, I don’t feel ready to talk about these things with my husband because he is very sensitive to anything that sounds like a criticism of his faith and I don’t want to hurt him.

This might sound silly, but I was sort of hoping for a pen pal to exchange with.

Any advice and prayers are welcome.
I would love any insight,
Click to expand...
You are free to send me a private message if you like. I am a Convert, so maybe that will help. I will find no question objectionable. Peace.
 
Reading your post made me smile. It could have been me when I got married. (Although my husband wasn’t really practicing at the time of our married, and drifted away. I’m so sad about that)

Anyway, it looks like you’ll have lots of opportunity for help here! Welcome to the forum, and may the Holy Spirit guide you and every answer given to you.

Eventually RCIA will be a necessary move, but if you have the big questions answered here, it will probably be a positive experience. I pray that it will be.

Peace, Sister!
 
I’ll add my name, too, for someone to PM with any questions. I converted 20 years ago, and now lead the Inquirer’s Class in RCIA. I’ve pretty much heard any question-including some really hard-hitting ones- PLUS I have a priest that helps me answer when I’m stumped.You can’t offend me with any of your concerns- and I LOVE a discussion!! Anyway, welcome to CAF!!
 
I’m also available for PM. I was born/raised Episcopalian but now Catholic so I have “seen” it from both sides.
 
There are many here who offered their help, I can help also just send me a pm… But there are probably also people within your church and you could ask your RCIA director for a referral.

I think about your Catholic husband and how blessed you are to have a man who cares about his faith so much so looking towards the Church will be well worth your effort as it is a good thing to have the same faith beliefs between a man and a wife so that you can share it together and be on the same pathway to heaven so to speak. There can only be more blessings coming from that.

My husband and I are both Catholic and I appreciate that our family goes to mass together, go to confession regularly, though not together, 🙂 but make a evening of it in reflection and prayer and forgiveness, and we can talk about the faith and it’s all good for the marriage and good for our children to see we have a united front with God at the helm and are united in our beliefs. A family that prays together stays together…😉
 
The “search” function is your friend. Any question you have has been asked many times, probably many hundreds of times before. You can find it at the top of the forum. “Advanced” allows you to search just the titles which is often helpful.

Good luck!
 
Thank you for such a warm reception!

I will definitely keep all your names handy!
 
Actually it would be a very good idea at this point to talk to a priest. I converted to Catholicism in 2012. I was raised Presbyterian. My entire family is protestant, mostly Christian Reformed. Welcome to CAF, you can post whatever ypu like here. I’ve found that most people here sincerely want to help. Catholic Answers is such a good resource. EWTN is good too. Feel free to PM me if you like.
 
The advantage of posting questions on the forum is that we can all contribute and feel confident that if we are slightly off on a particular point, that someone more knowledgable on that point can clarify. I’m a cradle, but the best deepening of knowledge that I’ve had is when someone ‘green’ asks a question and the richness of replies sparks new understanding in me. So I say don’t be afraid to ask your questions on the public board! They help us all, new and old!
 
TwoMorningStars,

Clear out your inbox. 😉 I’m trying to send you a PM, but CAF says that you’ve “exceeded your stored message quota and can’t accept further messages until you’ve cleared some space.”
 
If you want to tackle sticky issues at CAF, there’s a simple way to do it without triggering the short fused folks (who YOU lookin’ at?). Phrase your question in terms of a difficulty you have with catholic teaching. Don’t phrase your question with dogmatic statements about how you’ve personally discovered wisdom beyond that of the church and her foolish old men clinging to power.

Feel free to ask why the church sees removal of a feeding tube so differently than removal of a ventilator, or how the church can be both against contraception AND against In vitro fertilization, or why catholic cousin Jimmy got his Vegas/Elvis marriage annulled in 3 weeks and cousin Lisa is bogged down in a year long process with seemingly endless forms…

Anything’s on the table for questions. People just get cranky when posters come here and strongly stake claims against church teachings. Basically, ask questions like you’re talking to a person!
 
manualman said:
If you want to tackle sticky issues at CAF, there’s a simple way to do it without triggering the short fused folks (who YOU lookin’ at?). Phrase your question in terms of a difficulty you have with catholic teaching. Don’t phrase your question with dogmatic statements about how you’ve personally discovered wisdom beyond that of the church and her foolish old men clinging to power.

Feel free to ask why the church sees removal of a feeding tube so differently than removal of a ventilator, or how the church can be both against contraception AND against In vitro fertilization, or why catholic cousin Jimmy got his Vegas/Elvis marriage annulled in 3 weeks and cousin Lisa is bogged down in a year long process with seemingly endless forms…

Anything’s on the table for questions. People just get cranky when posters come here and strongly stake claims against church teachings. Basically, ask questions like you’re talking to a person!
Click to expand...
Which is exactly what the OP wanted to do via the PM system, and is doing with me, at least. Posting the questions she has about Catholic teaching, judging by a number of other forum posts on here, will open her to attack from at least some people–not most, thank goodness, but certainly some. Furthermore, PMs allow for a more in-depth discussion than a forum topic in which 20-30 people are posting.

The only reason this thread was resurrected was that I needed to let her know that her inbox was full, and thought that starting a separate thread on it was unnecessary. 🙂
 
Welcome! Your username caught my attention as my username means “Morning Star” in Latin and is another name for Mary. Stella Matutina is my confirmation name and would make a great confirmation name for you when you are confirmed into the Catholic Church soon! 😃 Nudge Nudge ;)😉 I’m just teasing!

I was a spiritual-not-religious Protestant as you so eloquently put it and converted 9 years ago when I was 19. At the local Catholic church at the time, they had a program called **Inquiry **that was set apart from regular RCIA. It was a meeting on Thursday nights with a priest or some other representative who would be available to answer questions to any seekers out there who were not necessarily interested in religious instruction classes like RCIA but just wanted to inquire (hence the name) about the faith. I would ask around your local Catholic churches and ask if they have this Inquiry class available as it was a great place for open discussion. The times I went, I was the only one who showed up but I can see how a group setting would have its advantages for learning more about the faith. I hope they have this class available for you! Who knows, you’ll probably end up knowing more about Catholicism than your own husband, haha!

PM me too if needed.
 
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