There are times when I long for Heaven ardently and that at almost 64yrs that I hope departing this life is not too distant. It is important to note that this is not depression nor is it a depressive state, which is a totally different disposition and experience.
Although I must admit the title of this thread made my stomache clench up in fear for the opening poster…great reflief to read the post though. Do be careful though not to let the experience degenerate into anything remotely like a depressed state or state of depression.
At other times I would be so sad to leave this incredibly beautiful world and universe to leave all the people I love and care for and to bring them sadness by leaving this world, and opportunities for myself to grow closer to God. This second disposition displays a sharing in God Himself “God saw what He had created and it was good”. I am spiritually delighted to take up my particular cross and follow my Lord. And some really do feel the tragedy of others, and war, sickness, disasters etc. as very personal sufferings. “Take up your cross daily and come, follow Me!”
Of these two dispostions (longing for Heaven and love of God’s Will and being here on earth), the latter is the most alive with Grace and dynamic and spiritually rich…since it displays a willingness and embracing of God’s Will for one and an unselfishness and concern for others - love of neighbour. “How can you say you love God, whom you cannot see if you do not love your neighbour whom you can?” “My meat is to do the Will of He who sent Me” and we are all also sent into this world by God with a particular mission, just as The Son of God was. The second dispostion displays a love of the creation that God Himself has made, found good and loved and then became Incarnate in order to die and redeem.
Sometimes when the world oppresses and wearies and we are stumbling neath our cross, all those things that we put in place and carried out (devotions, works etc.) while things were more positive in every way become tremendous burdens. It may be wise indeed and prudent in common sense (which St. Albert recommends in all things) to take the burden from ourselves for a while until our outlook is more positive. We need to love ourselves and to care for ourselves…then we can truly be compassionate towards others as we are to ourselves. There is a vast difference between self indulgence…and wisdom and plain old fashioned good common sense, also a virtue, in fact St. Albert tells us the guide of all the virtues.
That great virtue, humility…no longer sights what it hopes to be or wishes it could be nor what others think/say/write it should be…it is too busy accepting what it is and working with that always. The ‘anti thesis’ (as it were) of humility is - spiritual burnout.
“Come to Me all you who labour and are burdened, and I will give you rest” He is a loving friend, not a demanding taskmaster.
Be gentle with yourself.
Barb
