I'm unable to pray "May Gods will be done"

[Elena321]

Well, do you seriously believe that God’s will would be harmful to you?
What is your perception of God?

My perception of God is probably somewhere in the middle of the two you mentioned.
While I don’t think Gods will would be to physically or emotionally harm me etc,at the same time I don’t believe God particularly cares about my wishes/desires or that im happy.
Ive heard people say “God doesn’t care about your happiness he cares about your holiness” etc…

Its hard for me to even know now whether God/Jesus is real or whether its all man-made (unintentionally).
Whenever I pray,there is no answer (in practical life).
I just don’t see God in anyway “working in my life” and I don’t see my life as having a purpose even though ive prayed what is my purpose.

 

[Elena321]

This post wasn’t directed at me but id like to add please keep in mind that when people are depressed it can control/cloud their thinking and perceptions and can be more prone to negativity.
That is the nature of the illness and isn’t something that the person is wilfully doing and while telling “healthy” people to have a change in attitude might be beneficial and easy,for people with depression its not the right thing to say and can sometimes even harm.

 

[pianistclare]

My perception of God is probably somewhere in the middle of the two you mentioned.
While I don’t think Gods will would be to physically or emotionally harm me etc,at the same time I don’t believe God particularly cares about my wishes/desires or that im happy.
Ive heard people say “God doesn’t care about your happiness he cares about your holiness” etc…

Its hard for me to even know now whether God/Jesus is real or whether its all man-made (unintentionally).
Whenever I pray,there is no answer (in practical life).
I just don’t see God in anyway “working in my life” and I don’t see my life as having a purpose even though ive prayed what is my purpose.

Thanks for your response!

So here’s my take:
Come on now.
You don’t see the sun rising daily?
yup. It comes down to that,. I think God every morning for another morning. Another chance to not bleep up my life, and return to Him in love and grace.
Another day to be thankful for a roof over my head, a computer to post on this crazy site, and my car, which runs and is missing a door handle, 2 lazy daughters who are beautiful but a tad lazy…are you hearing me?
Things are not all that peachy. But, in reality, they actually are. I am relatively healthy. Ok, so I’m pudgy. I’m really talented, (but a small bit vain about it ) I’m employed (at a parish, so yeah, don’t make tons of money) but I like my job most days.
I struggle with bills. Mightily. But I do seem to make it through the month…sometimes with only a couple of bucks left…but I make it. Not through my own doing, but through God.
He does want us to thrive.
Let me ask you this: What would God benefit in our destruction, sorrow, or failure in this life? If God is as immune to our feelings as you suggest, what the “gain” for Him?
Nothing.
He only gains if we Love Him. Holding resentment and anger to God is futile and not at all in His plan. I wish I could quote exactly that passages that begins "These are the plans I have made for you…AHA! Here it is…
Jeremiah’s Letter to the Exiles
…10"For thus says the LORD, ‘When seventy years have been completed for Babylon, I will visit you and fulfill My good word to you, to bring you back to this place. 11’For I know the plans that I have for you,’ declares the LORD, 'plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope. 12’Then you will call upon Me and come and pray to Me, and I will listen to you.…

He listens. He does. Don’t give up on God. he never gives up on us.
God bless you. I hope today is a good one for you, and for our dear friend Lost_Sheep.
May God bless you both, today and always.

 

[Lost_Sheep]

Speaking as someone who has a history of severe depression (though it has abated somewhat – thanks to God, the right combination of medications, my mother and helpful parish and Lay Carmelite communities in which I am active), I doubt that lecturing Lost_Sheep is going to help her, and might make her feel worse. When I was in the kind of moods that Lost_Sheep is in, what I wanted was consolation and sincere friendship, not to be told to change my attitude. For one thing, we have the right to question God about why things are the way they are. I still am slightly irritated that my life has not turned out the way that I had planned when I was 17 years old (I am 48 now), although it is probably true that if things had turned out the way that I wanted (successful novelist and a happy marriage – instead, I barely write anything nowadays and have never married nor had children), I might not be as observant a Catholic as I am today.

Also, someone with severe depression might not be able to consistently handle the pressures of a job. Even if one has some good days, one might need to stay in bed all day on other days because one is too depressed or too exhausted to function effectively. (That is certainly true of me – I usually need a couple of non-consecutive days every week to stay at home all day and rest if I have been out and about in public for one or two days before.)

If I were in Lost_Sheep’s shoes, I would try to find a better psychiatrist for medication adjustment (if she is taking medication in the first place) and to find someone who will not be tired of listening. I think that the concept of psychotherapy is not the greatest, as a rule – a therapist is essentially being paid to listen to you because nobody else will, which is a bit insulting, in my opinion. But sometimes psychotherapy is necessary, if one can find a decent therapist. That can be difficult, especially if money is scarce.

I am praying for you right now, Lost_Sheep. I hope that you will feel less lost. God does not want you to suffer from depression. Sometimes He allows bad things to happen, and people get hurt. But that does not mean that He wants the bad things to happen or the people to be hurt. It’s hard for me to believe that sometimes, but I suppose that He thinks that the possibility of love freely given by people to each other and to God is worth all the pain and suffering in this world. Sometimes I think that free will is not worth the price of suffering, but it is not up to me to determine that. Only God can determine that. For better and for worse, I am not God – God is

I am a “him”; not a “her”. (No worries ) But thank you. And since my suicide attempt two months ago tomorrow, I have a new psychiatrist, some to medications and a new therapist. I am applying for jobs but my age is against me. I’m going to look into retirement instead if I can afford. And my wife and I have an appointment with a marriage counselor scheduled for this Friday.

 

[UpUpAndAway]

Praying for peace in your life, Lost_Sheep. May you one day know happiness!

My perception of God is probably somewhere in the middle of the two you mentioned.
While I don’t think Gods will would be to physically or emotionally harm me etc,at the same time I don’t believe God particularly cares about my wishes/desires or that im happy.

…]

Its hard for me to even know now whether God/Jesus is real or whether its all man-made (unintentionally).
Whenever I pray,there is no answer (in practical life).
I just don’t see God in anyway “working in my life” and I don’t see my life as having a purpose even though ive prayed what is my purpose.

I’ve felt this way also, but then I think about the years I was away from the Church, all that time when I made my own decisions and prioritized my wishes and desires without considering what God thought about all this. Looking back on how I used to live, I laugh at the notion that at the time I actually thought I was happy!

What changed? I eventually realized that I don’t know everything God knows. Some things He asks me to do are there because He knows I can do them regardless of what I think and I’m the right person to do them regardless of what I think. In some cases, I discovered through perseverance why I’m meant to do something. In other instances, I’m still waiting to find out…and I accept that I may not know the purpose of some of my earthly tasks until after I die.

Resisting God only makes an already daunting task that much more difficult. While it’s not always easy for me to do His will (sometimes I pray for years just to know what He wants from me in a given circumstance), I’ve gotten to a point where I simply let God drive. This took DECADES and it isn’t yet consistent—my spiritual director told me during our last appointment to stop trying to do God’s work for Him :blushing: But I strive to know what He wants from me, and to obey Him no matter what.

I emphasize again that this is not easy. The greatest gifts God has given me have come through enormous difficulty, but so has the greatest pain I’ve ever known. It comes down to believing and trusting that God knows best, regardless of what I think.

Ive heard people say “God doesn’t care about your happiness he cares about your holiness” etc…

So have I. They mean well, but I don’t completely believe this line of thought.

I pray you will one day know the peace of trusting Him. God bless.

 

[pianistclare]

Praying for peace in your life, Lost_Sheep. May you one day know happiness!

I’ve felt this way also, but then I think about the years I was away from the Church, all that time when I made my own decisions and prioritized my wishes and desires without considering what God thought about all this. Looking back on how I used to live, I laugh at the notion that at the time I actually thought I was happy!

What changed? I eventually realized that I don’t know everything God knows. Some things He asks me to do are there because He knows I can do them regardless of what I think and I’m the right person to do them regardless of what I think. In some cases, I discovered through perseverance why I’m meant to do something. In other instances, I’m still waiting to find out…and I accept that I may not know the purpose of some of my earthly tasks until after I die.

Resisting God only makes an already daunting task that much more difficult. While it’s not always easy for me to do His will (sometimes I pray for years just to know what He wants from me in a given circumstance), I’ve gotten to a point where I simply let God drive. This took DECADES and it isn’t yet consistent—my spiritual director told me during our last appointment to stop trying to do God’s work for Him :blushing: But I strive to know what He wants from me, and to obey Him no matter what.

I emphasize again that this is not easy. The greatest gifts God has given me have come through enormous difficulty, but so has the greatest pain I’ve ever known. It comes down to believing and trusting that God knows best, regardless of what I think.

So have I. They mean well, but I don’t completely believe this line of thought.

I pray you will one day know the peace of trusting Him. God bless.

Well, God does have a vested interest in our holiness. That’s the only way we are united with Him in heaven. We all should remember that we are born not for this life, but the next one.
I think it must have been a Christian wrote all of those 'don’t sweat the small stuff" books.

That priest prophet, and king thing at our Baptism is true.
But it doesn’t kick in until heaven.
Until then, we are sons and daughters of THE King.
God bless.

 

[Lost_Sheep]

Praying for peace in your life, Lost_Sheep. May you one day know happiness!

Thank you.

I’ve felt this way also, but then I think about the years I was away from the Church, all that time when I made my own decisions and prioritized my wishes and desires without considering what God thought about all this. Looking back on how I used to live, I laugh at the notion that at the time I actually thought I was happy!

What changed? I eventually realized that I don’t know everything God knows. Some things He asks me to do are there because He knows I can do them regardless of what I think and I’m the right person to do them regardless of what I think. In some cases, I discovered through perseverance why I’m meant to do something. In other instances, I’m still waiting to find out…and I accept that I may not know the purpose of some of my earthly tasks until after I die.

So using this line of thinking, perhaps I should take some “time off” from God, the Church, prayer, etc. and go out and live my life the way I want to (or think I want to) and seek happiness on my own terms? Then after all is said and done I can come back and say “Wow! God’s plan wasn’t so bad after all.”

Is this what you are suggesting?

 

[pianistclare]

Well, some people believe that they are following God. But in reality they are not.
It’s got some work to it, not simply sitting back and letting it roll whichever way it happens to roll.
Actively praying, being humble, listening to God, (yeah, listening as well as talking at Him)
all are ways to engage with the Lord.
If one wanted to meet new people make new friends, they’d chat them up, right? And in a non-aggressive and cordial mode, or else the person would turn off.

I think that’s what she’s saying, but she can speak for herself.

Anyway…anyone reading can try
www.sacredspace.ie for a really brief daily meditation.

It’s pretty nice, not weird, and a good place to start.

Peace to all in this thread.

 

[CHESTERTONRULES]

Hi,

I’m unable to pray “may your will be done God” as I don’t think I’ll be happy/ok with his will so I don’t trust God.
Sometimes it seems to me praying Gods will means resigning yourself to misery.

Also,just say you pray and then good things happen to you,how do you know it’s really from God (or that there’s even really a God) or whether your just being delusional and thinking random occurrences/coincidence are “divine” induced?

Can anyone help.

Thanks

You can pray it with the hope that you will come to believe it. Reservations are natural. Trusting God is scary, sometimes.

 

[UpUpAndAway]

Well, God does have a vested interest in our holiness. That’s the only way we are united with Him in heaven. We all should remember that we are born not for this life, but the next one.
I think it must have been a Christian wrote all of those 'don’t sweat the small stuff" books.

That priest prophet, and king thing at our Baptism is true.
But it doesn’t kick in until heaven.
Until then, we are sons and daughters of THE King.
God bless.

I should have clarified: God does indeed care about our holiness because He knows in the end it’s the path to true happiness. Holiness is what’s best for us, and God wants what’s best for us. Just because I can’t always see that doesn’t mean it isn’t true.

However, this saying has been presented to me in the sense that as long as I’m holy the Lord doesn’t care whether or not I’m happy, and that’s the interpretation I don’t agree with. :dts: God wants us to be happy. He knows the way that leads each of us to happiness, but sometimes that way just seems too difficult to us, too heavy a burden to bear, or simply doesn’t make any sense. When that happens, trusting Him becomes vital…in my opinion, anyway. Then again, I’m the type who could fall into a mountain of manure and be all excited because logically there would have to be a pony in there somewhere, so maybe I’m not the best person to comment on all this.

Bottom line is that I could never have gotten through some of the trials of my life without the trust I have in God, feeble as it is.

 

[UpUpAndAway]

Thank you.

You’re welcome.

So using this line of thinking, perhaps I should take some “time off” from God, the Church, prayer, etc. and go out and live my life the way I want to (or think I want to) and seek happiness on my own terms? Then after all is said and done I can come back and say “Wow! God’s plan wasn’t so bad after all.”

Is this what you are suggesting?

Oh heck no I wouldn’t wish my former life on my worst enemy, so I certainly wouldn’t encourage you to follow my lead in this regard. :nope:

Perhaps it would be useful to point out that I didn’t leave the Church of my own free will—I was yanked out as a child. Left to my own devices, I don’t think I would ever have made the conscious decision to walk away (though there’s no way to be certain of that, I concede). Sure would have saved me a boatload of trouble if I’d remained faithful to God from birth.

 

[UpUpAndAway]

Well, some people believe that they are following God. But in reality they are not.
It’s got some work to it, not simply sitting back and letting it roll whichever way it happens to roll.
Actively praying, being humble, listening to God, (yeah, listening as well as talking at Him)
all are ways to engage with the Lord.
If one wanted to meet new people make new friends, they’d chat them up, right? And in a non-aggressive and cordial mode, or else the person would turn off.

I think that’s what she’s saying, but she can speak for herself.

That’s pretty much it. God doesn’t tell me what He wants from me just because I ask Him to. I gotta work at it too. There have been long periods of silence during which I’ve had no idea what His will was. It is unsettling at best and terrifying at worst to be faced with needing to make a decision about something and being “stonewalled” by the Lord when asking Him what to do. It’s hard to continue to pray and trust when I need help and I’m not getting any (or so it seems). But perseverance—in prayer, in striving to be humble, in obedience—is the only way I know to survive such difficulty.

Following God requires a great deal of discernment, which in my case would be a lost cause from the start without the guidance provided by my spiritual director. Perhaps others can do it alone. I know I can’t.

Anyway…anyone reading can try
www.sacredspace.ie for a really brief daily meditation.

It’s pretty nice, not weird, and a good place to start.

Peace to all in this thread.

That’s a wonderful site that I might never have discovered without you to point it out to me. God bless you! :hug3:

 

[bakaten]

Yep. It is the same problem I always have
I am afraid of suffering.

But hopefully these links can give us hope as it has given me encouragements too.

louisandzeliemartin.org/sicari/

traditioninaction.org/religious/c023rpLouisMartin02.html

 

[pianistclare]

That’s pretty much it. God doesn’t tell me what He wants from me just because I ask Him to. I gotta work at it too. There have been long periods of silence during which I’ve had no idea what His will was. It is unsettling at best and terrifying at worst to be faced with needing to make a decision about something and being “stonewalled” by the Lord when asking Him what to do. It’s hard to continue to pray and trust when I need help and I’m not getting any (or so it seems). But perseverance—in prayer, in striving to be humble, in obedience—is the only way I know to survive such difficulty.

Following God requires a great deal of discernment, which in my case would be a lost cause from the start without the guidance provided by my spiritual director. Perhaps others can do it alone. I know I can’t.

That’s a wonderful site that I might never have discovered without you to point it out to me. God bless you! :hug3:

You’re welcome! I think many folks think spirituality and prayer is kind of complicated and convoluted, and indeed, sometimes Catholic prayer practices can be.
But the Sacred Space site is fresh daily, and simple to utilize. A good place to begin.
One can always add on.
Peace!

 

[Beryllos]

Clare, thanks for pointing out Sacred Space. It’s beautiful!

 

[Rachel4141]

Whenever I start to fear what will happen if I pray for God’s will to be done In my life I just look back over my life while I was in the driving seat.

The broken marriage, the hurt I caused my older children, the mistakes I made trying to find happiness, the hard consequences of some “fun” actions THEN I look at the amazing turn around my life has had since I let Him have control my happiness is not based on my circumstances, my joy doesn’t come from doing what I want to do. It comes from trusting God and knowing that when I do I can be confident that no matter what life throws at me (and believe me my life is no picnic with a chronic pain condition just the least of my worries sometimes) I can always rely on Him to love me and care for my needs, sometimes in surprising ways.

Even if sometimes what He asks me to do can seem so against what I want, I know that there is joy in obidience and I can be peaceful, accepting my life for what it is because I have His love always and for eternity.

 

[pianistclare]

Yep. It is the same problem I always have
I am afraid of suffering.

But hopefully these links can give us hope as it has given me encouragements too.

louisandzeliemartin.org/sicari/

traditioninaction.org/religious/c023rpLouisMartin02.html

Be careful of that Tradition In Action website!

forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=448944

Just a head’s up.

 

[pianistclare]

Clare, thanks for pointing out Sacred Space. It’s beautiful!

Everyone:
In the daily prayer enter the prayer section, don’t forget to click on the GUIDE!.
The guide is most important!

 

[PulvisEtCinis]

Hi,

I’m unable to pray “may your will be done God” as I don’t think I’ll be happy/ok with his will so I don’t trust God. Sometimes it seems to me praying Gods will means resigning yourself to misery.

I think that you will find that life is full of misery anyway. Everyone desires a happy life, but the difference between a person who sets his aim on finding this happy life apart from the will of God is that ultimately he seeks his happiness in vain things, whereas the spiritual person seeks his fulfillment in doing the will of God and his hope is in eternal things. What makes one happy? A nice house? A good job? Nice food? Debaucherous pleasure? An abundance of entertainment to distract you until your life is utterly spent? Truly, do these make one happy? Rather, they tend to be little more than burdensome distractions, and not infrequently they only increase misery, especially when you are so attached to them that the want of them is an overwhelming sorrow; sure some pleasure can be found in some of these things, I am will not deny that, but it is fleeting. It is fleeting because to seek these things simply for the sake of these things is purposeless; we achieve happiness by fulfilling our ultimate purpose, our final end, which is in God - to love and serve God with our whole being. As St. Augustine says so beautifully: "And yet, to praise Thee is the wish of man who is but a part of Thy creation. Thou dost bestir him so that he takes delight in praising Thee: for Thou hast made us for Thee and our heart is unquiet till it finds its rest in Thee.” Confessions Book 1 Chapter 1

Again, St. Augustine:

“If bodily things are pleasing, praise God for them and turn thy love back to their Maker, lest thou be displeasing in regard to these things which are pleasing to thee. If souls are pleasing, let them be loved in God, for they, too, are mutable, but when fixed on Him they become stable; otherwise, they would pass and perish. Therefore, let them be loved in Him. Take up with thee to Him what souls thou canst and say to them: ‘Let us love Him; He has made these things and He is not far distant. He did not make and then go away, but they are from Him and in Him. Look, where is He, where does truth taste sweet? He is in the depths of the heart, but the heart has wandered from Him. Return into your heart, O sinners and cleave to Him who has made you. Stand with Him, and you shall stand firmly; be at rest in Him, and you shall be rested. Where are you going into the rough places? Where are you going? The good which you love is from Him. But, it is only in relation to Him that it is good and sweet. It will be bitter, and justly so, for whatever is from Him is not loved justly, if one abandons Him. What is your goal in walking on and on, through difficult and toilsome ways? There is no rest where you are seeking it. Seek what you are seeking, but it is not there where you are seeking. You are seeking the happy life in the area of death; it is not there. For, how could a happy life be found where there is not even life at all?” Confessions Book 4 Chapter 12

And, not to get too carried away with St. Augustine (He is my favorite Saint, if you can’t tell ), but one of my favorite quotes from him, and very pertinent to this thread:

"…We are not Christians, except on account of a future life: let no one hope for present blessings, let no one promise himself the happiness of the world, because he is a Christian: but let him use the happiness he has, as he may, in what manner he may, when he may, as far as he may. When it is present, let him give thanks for the consolation of God: when it is wanting, let him give thanks to the Divine justice. Let him always be grateful, never ungrateful: let him be grateful to his Father, who soothes and caresses him: and grateful to his Father when He chastens him with the scourge, and teaches him: for He ever loves, whether He caress or threaten: and let him say what you have heard in the Psalm: “It is a good thing to give thanks unto the Lord; and to sing praises unto Your Name, Thou Most Highest” Expositions on Psalm 92

So, I would contend that doing the will of God is not to consign yourself to misery, for we have at least some of that anyway. But rather, it is the eager willingness to endure with much patience all hardship for the sake of an eternal hope. Is this always easy? No, because of our frailty and weakness it can be very difficult to surrender our notions of autonomy, and frequently our efforts of doing this are far from perfect, yet it is something that we must do.

Also,just say you pray and then good things happen to you,how do you know it’s really from God (or that there’s even really a God) or whether your just being delusional and thinking random occurrences/coincidence are “divine” induced?

Can anyone help.

Thanks

Regardless of whether the answer to your prayer is something that has miraculously occurred, or it has happened through secondary causes is irrelevant. All things are subject to Divine Providence; nothing happens that is not at least allowed by God. Even that which is evil is allowed so that He may bring good out of it.

As to whether “that there’s even really a God” I think reason alone should tell you that there must be.

 

[BobCatholic]

I totally understand where you’re coming from, I’m also afraid to say “Thy will be Done” because God’s will is the cross, and suffering.

God’s will has pleasant things (salvation, healing, blessings) - but they must be in his will or it won’t be the case.