I’m in my mid20s. I have two younger siblings. How was my childhood? I want to say I had a happy childhood. I come from.a culture that does not accept female singleness. Obviously the answer is don’t care. It does get awfully annoying why your choice to not Wed or have children will become public topic at Thanksgiving, Christmas, other holidays or family get togethers. Family members may question your sexuality. I am old enough to have children. Many friends have children. I’ll probably have one. I do wonder if God calls me to lead a chaste life as a single woman. Hopefully God gives me the backbone to endure people’s criticism, prying and judgment.
It is hard to find ones true vocation when you are subjected to criticism, prying and judgment. I wish I could say the right words for you to learn how to just let that slide off your back like water on a duck. You are young and it sounds as if your family is important to you but at the same time you need to create a distance in order to figure out what God wants for you. You certainly should not rush into marriage and children because this is what your family has decided for you.
living the life God wants you to live.
First of all, don’t let other people’s struggles, as seen from your point of view and not theirs, influence your decisions. Do your parents feel like bringing up 3 children was as difficult as you think it was? Why not ask how they did it and what it meant to them? You might get a very different perspective.
As someone else said, you have to set up boundaries, and not let others cross them no matter how well-intentioned they are. On way to do that is to physically remove yourself from them, in a nice way, until they stop pestering you.
I guess that is true. The only difference is we have assurance God is with us.First of all, don’t let other people’s struggles, as seen from your point of view and not theirs, influence your decisions. Do your parents feel like bringing up 3 children was as difficult as you think it was? Why not ask how they did it and what it meant to them? You might get a very different perspective.
I married later in life at 35. I too got questions tossed at me at holiday gatherings in my 20’s. I’d just say that if I married it would be at the right time to the right person and that was more in God’s hands than mine. That was usually answer enough.
As it happened, my dh and couldn’t have children, and I wasn’t keen on having any, as it was. Still, I’ve learned as a married person that whatever God sends my way, as long as I am doing his will everything works out just fine. I am content–not because we never have problems or struggles, everyone does no matter what life they choose, but because our trust is in God not in our circumstances.
So, whatever you decide to do, just be sure you are doing what God wants you to do. No matter who doesn’t understand or criticizes, you can have peace of mind and heart knowing that God will take care of everything that needs taking care of.
No sex if you do not want children
Correction: No sex if you are not willing to accept children that might result.
celibacy for now.
Good advice, Helen Rose!
So, whatever you decide to do, just be sure you are doing what God wants you to do. No matter who doesn’t understand or criticizes, you can have peace of mind and heart knowing that God will take care of everything that needs taking care of.
I don’t think there is any sin in not wanting children, but it does mean that the option of marriage is not available, because in marriage we are called to welcome children and as a couple you must be open to them.
I think it needs mentioning that no one must have children if married, rather couples are to be open to having them, which does not mean they must have children (for example, they may mutually agree to abstain for spiritual reasons after making their vows which gives them the right to the nuptial embrace). Nor do they need to have as many as children as biologically possible (not that anyone here has suggested this).