Impact of my mother's advice about frequency of confession

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I’ve been trying to go to Confession about once a week, and I usually do get there each week, but missed this weekend because I didn’t get up in time and then later during the same day (Saturday) missed another chance to get to Confession.

Then I missed the Saturday evening Mass so I went to the Sunday morning Mass, today. I didn’t go Saturday evening because I was busy cleaning and too tired to dress for Mass.

It seems to me that these little procrastinations eventually lead up to big ones, and to me, these are warning signs that I’m beginning to take the practice of my faith less seriously.

I was talking to my mom tonight and she said getting to Confession every week wasn’t that important, that she used to do it but found that there weren’t enough sins to warrant going to confession once a week, in her case. Now I’m getting worried that I’m going to embrace her same attitude, since I look up to my mom.

Any encouraging thoughts?
 
Relax, it seems to me like you are a very conscientious person overall. You don’t have to go to confession every week, especially if you don’t have a mortal sin on your soul (that’s another story). But if you just have veniel sins, every couple of weeks should be fine. Please don’t think I’m not in favor of frequent confession (I am), but don’t beat yourself up if you don’t go EVERY week.

Hey, on a different subject, I see you are from Iowa (me too) and you work in the home health field (me too- part time)! 🙂
 
**I think you need to open your heart to God on this matter. As long as you are going and confessing your mortal (if any) sins when necessary, the frequency of confession for venial sins is something you need to decide on your own (with God). Your mom was probably just trying to make you feel better and let you know you don’t have to feel guilty for missing it this time. I’m sure if you explained to her that you feel called to confess often (if that is the case) she would back you up.

But you also could be bordering on scrupulosity. That is something only you, God, and a trusted spiritual advisor can determine. If you are not, and you just feel called to frequent confession, enlist your mom (and any other people you can think of) to help you battle your tendency towards procrastination…

God bless you in your journey towards holiness**
 
Weekly confession/spiritual direction is a great habit that will help you immensely in your journey as a Catholic (I suspect you are aware of this), as is a daily examination of conscience. If you fear you are getting lax in your interior life, why not talk it over with your confessor.

Here is an excerpt from a catechetical dialogue Pope Benedict XVI had with some children:

" Livia: “Holy Father, before the day of my First Communion I went to confession. I have also been to confession on other occasions. I wanted to ask you: Do I have to go to confession every time I receive Communion, even when I have committed the same sins? Because I realize that they are always the same.”

Benedict XVI: I will tell you two things. The first, of course, is that you do not always have to go to confession before you receive Communion unless you have committed such serious sins that they need to be confessed. Therefore, it is not necessary to make one’s confession before every Eucharistic Communion. This is the first point. It is only necessary when you have committed a really serious sin, when you have deeply offended Jesus, so that your friendship is destroyed and you have to start again. Only in that case, when you are in a state of “mortal” sin, in other words, grave [sin], is it necessary to go to confession before Communion. This is my first point.

My second point: Even if, as I said, it is not necessary to go to confession before each Communion, it is very helpful to confess with a certain regularity. It is true: Our sins are always the same, but we clean our homes, our rooms, at least once a week, even if the dirt is always the same; in order to live in cleanliness, in order to start again. Otherwise, the dirt might not be seen but it builds up.

Something similar can be said about the soul, for me myself: If I never go to confession, my soul is neglected and in the end I am always pleased with myself and no longer understand that I must always work hard to improve, that I must make progress. And this cleansing of the soul which Jesus gives us in the sacrament of confession helps us to make our consciences more alert, more open, and hence, it also helps us to mature spiritually and as human persons. Therefore, two things: Confession is only necessary in the case of a serious sin, but it is very helpful to confess regularly in order to foster the cleanliness and beauty of the soul and to mature day by day in life."
 
I found my spiritual life is best when I try to make it to confession weekly, however I usually never make it more than 2-3 times a month. I just try not to go more than 2 weeks w. out confession (unless I have the flu or somthing like that.) That’s just what works best for me.

There is nothing wrong with wanting to frequent confession, just pray about it. 🙂
 
since you do have the question, the one to ask is your priest, your mom was right to share her experience, if you feel the need to go that frequently, discuss it with your priest and follow his advice.
 
Have you checked to see if there are any parishes nearby that have daily Confession? We have a neighboring parish that offeres the Sacrament before daily morning Mass.
 
I would say you are too hard on yourself. Monthly practice is a beautiful thing in itself. The only reason you would be “laxing” is if you purposely avoided because either you despaired in God’s mercy or were afraid to go and decided to avoid it, and even in these cases I would say you would have to decide to do it a number of times. Just go next Saturday as you wish, since i imagine you only have venial sins, and know that in fact we have many ways to remove them ranging from holy water and making the sign of the cross, to recieving communion, to making an act of contrition. So they are forgiven right now, unless they were mortal, but I doubt you have any of those.
 
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