There is nothing wrong with looking for a shorter liturgy, as long as you are not trying to sacrifice quality in order to get out quicker. There is nothing wrong with looking for a Mass that suits your own way of praying. There is also nothing sinful, per se, in being tempted toward distraction and impatience, either.
While you don’t choose your feelings, you do choose your attitude. You can choose to attend to every Mass with fidelity, even when it is a penance to do so. You can choose to see even a difficult Mass–too short, too long, too intellectual, too simple-minded, too cold, too touchy-feely, bad music, whatever–as a great blessing, because it always is. As Steven Covey says of life’s trials in general: “If you start to think the problem is ‘out there’, stop yourself. That thought is the problem.” If your parish has problem Masses, dealing with them may well be your job, but that is a job that can wait until after Mass. One thing that can help is to think, “Someone is finding this a very uplifting Mass, maybe someone who really needs a very uplifting Mass today. Or maybe someone is having as much trouble as I am, and needs encouragement to find something positive here. My need for something different can wait for now. I refuse to act in a way that will ruin this Mass for them.”
That doesn’t mean you’ll be granted the feelings to go with the attitude, but don’t worry about that. Do not beat yourself up for failing to feel a certain way. That is a temptation, too! Don’t buy that lie! It is the stuff in your spiritual “out box” that you are responsible for, not the stuff in your “in box”.
