Impedments to religious life

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Toizeu

I hope this will help you in some way or another. I know your fear first hand.

Like I said… this reminds me of myself back in 2016. I wanted to enter the religious life as a lay brother. I too was afraid of my -very- sinful past (I was guilty of worse things than you). I got an advice to the same question: The advice was to talk with the formation mentor who was my contact in the monastery in which I was about to enter… SO basically I went and confessed - again my sins, everything and was told that there is nothing holding me back from entering. In November 2016 my entry would begin with regular steps.

For some reason 2016 was also the same year that my OCD took off and it attacked my spiritual life. Basically I became terribly scrupulous. This became for me an obstruction because of which I could not entered.

Not only was I unable to enter… What started back then escalated. The priest who was in the beginning my formation mentor, was now my very patient confessor. This priest died last year and since then I needed to find a new spiritual director. Only this year, things have started to slowly getting better.

Was I not called for a religious life?
I don’t know. I gave it a try. I know that until I have my scrupulosity taken care of, I can not dream of entering anywhere. Sometimes I feel like I am not where I should be, because I don’t feel called to marriage at all - to the point of certainty. God knows everything. God’s will be done!

May Lord get you where He wants you!
If that is religious life, you’ll be able to enter.

Just remember that the devil wants to interfere as well. Don’t let him.

p.s. sorry had to write this really fast. I am reachable with private message
 
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TwoNames said:
Just remember that the devil wants to interfere as well. Don’t let him.
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Your experience of having your past sins bringed back just before entering the Monastery seems like a trick of the Devil to me, God wouldn’t guide you out of a Vocation path with your sins, less so if they were already forgiven.

I wish you the best in your discernment. Maybe you can talk with other priest from the Monastery?
 
Yes. Could be. I never gave up on my calling - but in that one year my scrupulosity got so severe that now after good 4 years I am still recovering. I’d say I am at 80%. My main focus for now is to get my spiritual life back from being hijacked by scrupulosity, after that, God willing I’ll be able to continue.
After finding a good spiritual director, I am making a good progress.

Thank you for your kind words

God bless you!
 
Toizeu said:
Can you give me examples of saints that had a wayward past? Like Saint Moses the Black, Augustine, Mary of Egypt, Saint Pelagia etc…
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Dorothy Day (currently a Servant of God): card carrying communist, had an abortion, lived in a relationship outside of marriage.

Thomas Merton (great spiritual master): fathered a child while at university

St Ignatius of Loyola - soldier, womaniser, manslayer

Mary of Egypt and Augustine are of course other well known examples. Also, since we’re on the subject of impediments, my all time favourite saint, Benedict Joseph Labre - a mentally ill homeless man rejected from or kicked out of no fewer than three different orders, whereupon he decided to walk to Rome… from France and lived on the streets as a beggar.
 
I spent the first 27 years of my life ignoring God’s call to repentance. I was addicted to pornography and I worshiped idols. At times, I even viewed homosexual pornography. If God could save someone like me, He can save anyone. I lived a habitually carnal life, but He still called me and saved me.

I mean, are we really going to postulate that God isn’t quite able to save you? that sounds like a lot of pride, because, in essence, you are saying that God isn’t powerful enough. You’re saying that you are more powerful than God. Paul preached to people who were involved in homosexuality, fornication, divisiveness and suing one another. They were saved and washed by God, though. 1 Corinthians 6 says “and such were some of you”. God was pleased to forgive them, despite the horrific past that they had.

Thank God you’re sorry for your sins, but by now, you should’ve forgotten them. God’s desire to save you is far more potent than your desire to sin. He will save you from your sins if you trust that He alone can do it. I’m not asking you to clean up your life – I am asking you to give up on trying to be “good enough”. Besides, if anyone sins, we have an advocate with the Father; Jesus Christ the righteous.
 
Read somewhere: “Arrogance is believing your capacity to sin is greater than God’s ability to forgive.”
Dominus vobiscum
 
I do not think that my sins are bigger than God’s mercy. I know He can forgive any sins, my problem is about joining religious life, not about being forgiven, because of the temporal consequences of sins
 
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I don’t think that my sins are bigger than God’s mercy, I believe that He can forgive any sins… I’m concerned about being accepted religious life, because of the temporal consequences of sins
 
Everybody has a past. You are not obligated to answer any questions that you are not asked.
 
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