Important Confession - Advice Needed!

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civilwar

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Hi everyone,
I have a fairly large confession to make consisting of some serious sins. I desperately want to make my confession so that I can regain the state of grace and receive the Eucharist etc.
I usually go to a regular confessor once a week but I haven’t been with him in a while.
At this point I am familiar with all my local priests and most priests within driving distance.
This presents me with a problem as I really don’t want to go to a Priest I know (either my usual confessor or another priest I know) due to my embarrassment with some of my sins. Maybe that is the wrong attitute, but it’s how I feel anyway.

So what should I do?? Should I bite the bullet and just go to my regular confessor or should I seek out a confessor I don’t know in a different parish?

Suggestions welcomed!
 
One is free to go to any Priest who can hear your confession.

However it may be good for you to go to your regular confessor…for one has a regular confessor for reason of say advancing in the spiritual life and having confession be more tailored to you…
 
civilwar said:
Hi everyone,
I have a fairly large confession to make consisting of some serious sins. I desperately want to make my confession so that I can regain the state of grace and receive the Eucharist etc.
I usually go to a regular confessor once a week but I haven’t been with him in a while.
At this point I am familiar with all my local priests and most priests within driving distance.
This presents me with a problem as I really don’t want to go to a Priest I know (either my usual confessor or another priest I know) due to my embarrassment with some of my sins. Maybe that is the wrong attitute, but it’s how I feel anyway.

So what should I do?? Should I bite the bullet and just go to my regular confessor or should I seek out a confessor I don’t know in a different parish?

Suggestions welcomed!
Click to expand...
Three things…

1)Since you believe you have commited serious sin the main thing is that you get to confession as soon as possible.

2)It is better you go to your regular confessor, as Bookcat says, a regular confessor will know you better and can possibly give you a good remedy.

3)Do not be embarrassed or afraid by confessing your sin to any priest.He has heard it all before. A regular confessor here would be more helpful as well.

God Bless!
 
civilwar said:
Hi everyone,
I have a fairly large confession to make consisting of some serious sins. I desperately want to make my confession so that I can regain the state of grace and receive the Eucharist etc.
I usually go to a regular confessor once a week but I haven’t been with him in a while.
At this point I am familiar with all my local priests and most priests within driving distance.
This presents me with a problem as I really don’t want to go to a Priest I know (either my usual confessor or another priest I know) due to my embarrassment with some of my sins. Maybe that is the wrong attitute, but it’s how I feel anyway.

So what should I do?? Should I bite the bullet and just go to my regular confessor or should I seek out a confessor I don’t know in a different parish?

Suggestions welcomed!
Click to expand...
I understand that feeling. I usually go anonymously (in a closed Confessional), though I’m pretty sure my regular Confessor knows my voice by now.

I’ve often heard priests state that they don’t remember anyone’s sins after the Confession is over (even people they know/recognize), so that thought helps me not to focus as much as I used to on what the priest thinks of me or my sins. Still, I have found that, in my own spiritual life, “biting the bullet” tends to help me grow more, and work harder to avoid sinning again, than trying to avoid being recognized in Confession does. It also helps me accept full responsibility for my sins, and increases my humility (at least temporarily… 😊 ).

However, if the embarrassment of confessing to a priest you know is keeping you from going, then certainly, seek out another priest!

Will pray for you, that you have the opportunity and strength to go to Confession soon! :gopray2:
 
Please don’t think they have not heard just about everything possible before.
And also, if a priest even tried to remember everyone’s sins in his parish he wouldn’t be able to function or lift his head from the pillow each morning. :o
They don’t dwell on these things.
A regular confessor might be of a huge benefit to you.
But, as always, you are free to confess behind a screen. No worries.
Go, and find the peace and healing that you crave and desire.
Christ is calling you to Himself. :signofcross:
 
There is absolutely nothing wrong in going to a priest you don’t know, go to a priest you don’t know and confess! 😊
 
It sounds like there are several priests in your area. Go to one who doesn’t know you super well and go anonymously. I’d be surprised if the recognizes your voice (not that you’d ever know - because of the sacramental seal, priests are forbidden from mentioning the confession or anything that was said during the confession afterwards and they cannot use any information they learn against you).
 
civilwar said:
Hi everyone,
I have a fairly large confession to make consisting of some serious sins. I desperately want to make my confession so that I can regain the state of grace and receive the Eucharist etc.
I usually go to a regular confessor once a week but I haven’t been with him in a while.
At this point I am familiar with all my local priests and most priests within driving distance.
This presents me with a problem as I really don’t want to go to a Priest I know (either my usual confessor or another priest I know) due to my embarrassment with some of my sins. Maybe that is the wrong attitute, but it’s how I feel anyway.

So what should I do?? Should I bite the bullet and just go to my regular confessor or should I seek out a confessor I don’t know in a different parish?

Suggestions welcomed!
Click to expand...
Speaking from personal experience, I would say that you should just go to your regular confessor. I have been where you are, and I have, at different times, chosen each path… my regular confessor once, and a stranger once. I received absolution both times, but with my regular confessor I received advice tailored to my situation because he knows me and knows my strengths and weaknesses

You are free to receive confess to any priest, but you have a regular confessor for a reason, right? You value and trust his advice, you benefit from the accountability of going to a regular confessor.

Of course, the most important thing is to just go. Get it done, and, with God’s grace, move forward.
 
pianistclare said:
you’d have to be VERY close to a priest fro him to recognize your voice though.
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I don’t know. I’ve always been able to recognize the voice of the priest. I haven’t been to Confession in a Latin Rite parish in quite a few years, but I recall that you are quite close to the priest. Like 12-18 inches away, right? It doesn’t seem like it would be too hard to make out a voice.
 
pianistclare said:
you’d have to be VERY close to a priest fro him to recognize your voice though.
Click to expand...
I just wrote (and deleted) a post about how close I thought you’d be in the confessional, estimating 12-18 inches away at the most :D. Then I realized that you must be talking about a close relationship.

I’m pretty sure my priest would recognize the voice of nearly every one of his parishioners, but it is a very small parish.

I suppose you have a point, though. 🙂 And it isn’t like priest is sitting there trying to identify penitents. Still, anonymity is not a guarantee of the screen.
 
babochka said:
I just wrote (and deleted) a post about how close I thought you’d be in the confessional, estimating 12-18 inches away at the most :D. Then I realized that you must be talking about a close relationship.

I’m pretty sure my priest would recognize the voice of nearly every one of his parishioners, but it is a very small parish.

I suppose you have a point, though. 🙂 And it isn’t like priest is sitting there trying to identify penitents. Still, anonymity is not a guarantee of the screen.
Click to expand...
That reminds me of a funny true story:
We had a penance service at my parish, and I purposely went to a priest that I’d never met.
his first words to me were:
“aren’t you the DRE here?”
me: Nope. That’s my twin sister.

silence.

Priest: “really?”
Me: no Father. :o

He said OK, let’s start with that fibbing thing…😃
 
Hi guys thanks so much for your kind advice. Your suggestions actually helped me to remember that in a parish close to me there is confession available behind the screen (I had totally forgotten about that). So I’m going there tonight and will be so glad to return to a state of grace! Pray for me 🙂 And thanks again.
 
pianistclare said:
That reminds me of a funny true story:
We had a penance service at my parish, and I purposely went to a priest that I’d never met.
his first words to me were:
“aren’t you the DRE here?”
me: Nope. That’s my twin sister.

silence.

Priest: “really?”
Me: no Father. :o

He said OK, let’s start with that fibbing thing…😃
Click to expand...
LOL - that is funny 😃
 
babochka said:
I just wrote (and deleted) a post about how close I thought you’d be in the confessional, estimating 12-18 inches away at the most :D. Then I realized that you must be talking about a close relationship.

I’m pretty sure my priest would recognize the voice of nearly every one of his parishioners, but it is a very small parish.

I suppose you have a point, though. 🙂 And it isn’t like priest is sitting there trying to identify penitents. Still, anonymity is not a guarantee of the screen.
Click to expand...
When you are behind the screen, even if the priests recognizes your voice, it’s much easier for him to forget the confession or to forget who said it (unless it was something like adultery, rape, murder, abortion, etc). There is no name / face recognition going on.
 
phil19034 said:
When you are behind the screen, even if the priests recognizes your voice, it’s much easier for him to forget the confession or to forget who said it (unless it was something like adultery, rape, murder, abortion, etc). There is no name / face recognition going on.
Click to expand...
Maybe.

Every priest I’ve ever talked to about it has said that he doesn’t remember anyway, whether face-to-face or not. I think it must be the grace of the sacrament of Holy Orders that allows them to not remember, or perhaps the sheer volume of confessions, coupled with fact that none of our sins is really unique.
 
pianistclare said:
That reminds me of a funny true story:
We had a penance service at my parish, and I purposely went to a priest that I’d never met.
his first words to me were:
“aren’t you the DRE here?”
me: Nope. That’s my twin sister.

silence.

Priest: “really?”
Me: no Father. :o

He said OK, let’s start with that fibbing thing…😃
Click to expand...
😃
 
I was in a similar boat recently. It kept me from confession for several weeks, because I felt as though I had fallen into the sin of presumption given how often I had fallen into the same sins.
Let me say it was embarrassing to have to confess the same sins.

My confessor advised me that I should not be discouraged by the fact that we keep falling into the same sins. If we recognize we fell/fall, and really want to make amends, the Sacrament of Reconciliation will allow this process to occur (Forgiveness, and the means necessary to avoid acting upon temptation).
Remember that we receive a significant amount of grace in confession, that will help us turn away from sin.

If it makes you feel better, explain to your confessor that you struggle with the same sins a lot, and have been embarrassed to return to confession as a result. Perhaps he can offer some type of Penance or advice for your spiritual growth?

Also remember, as others have said above, your Priest has heard it all. Depending on his background, instruction, and other study he may have undertaken, you might receive different advice. Listen to what he says, think on it and pray on it.

I’d also like to comfort you with the fact that even with God’s abundant grace and help for us, we still fall into sin. We are no longer perfect, and are thus capable of falling. So some people will undergo different trials. Some may “grow,” but come to face other issues. Others may struggle with the same ones for a lifetime.

Some advice that I can offer, having read passages on temptation in books like ‘The Imitation of Christ,’ is that you must stop the Devil BEFORE he can walk through what you might call an “open door.” That is, the first “little slip” is what starts the process.
Maybe its not calling to mind God when you see revealing images.
Maybe its not being patient when someone is being aggressive or rude
If you shut the Devil out (with prayer or calling God to mind) as soon as temptation heads your way, you (Well, I’d say GOD) stand(s) a great chance of beating the Devil.
 
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