Important prayer question

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Catie59

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A very close family members marriage has been in trouble for years. It is the wife in this situation who is abusive, foul mouthed (this go’s way beyond swearing), and spends every bit of money earned on everything and anything causing them to go bankrupt, have vehicles repo’d etc etc etc. She has even called the police and lied that the husband hit her (she cut herself) and had him arrested because she was angry at him. The husband will not end the marriage for the children’s sake. The children however are growing up to be disrespectful, potty mouthed, unruly and mean due to being raised in this environment. They both come to me and spill the beans which is making me crazy. I have prayed and prayed for a solution to this and just want to know if there is any powerful prayer or special Saint I can turn to. Could you please steer me in the right direction? I have been trying to obtain this information for quite some time. It is so bad I am in fear that something really really bad will happen. This is making me physically ill.
 
Can you not speak to the Mother? If the children had not said anything to you it might be the case that it is not your business. However, because the children are bothering you about it, this makes it your business. You have a valid reason to ask why they are coming to you. But, what you don’t want is a bloke getting on your back if he hears that you have approached his wife, so whatever you do be diplomatic and very careful. You could and maybe should speak to a Catholic organisation ,or consult a priest or a nun, and ask their opinion, without giving names, for reasons of discretion.
 
Catie59 said:
A very close family members marriage has been in trouble for years. It is the wife in this situation who is abusive, foul mouthed (this go’s way beyond swearing), and spends every bit of money earned on everything and anything causing them to go bankrupt, have vehicles repo’d etc etc etc. She has even called the police and lied that the husband hit her (she cut herself) and had him arrested because she was angry at him. The husband will not end the marriage for the children’s sake. The children however are growing up to be disrespectful, potty mouthed, unruly and mean due to being raised in this environment. They both come to me and spill the beans which is making me crazy. I have prayed and prayed for a solution to this and just want to know if there is any powerful prayer or special Saint I can turn to. Could you please steer me in the right direction? I have been trying to obtain this information for quite some time. It is so bad I am in fear that something really really bad will happen. This is making me physically ill.
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Number 1 you are not God. You are not always in control of the situation.I understand you want this to be solved instantly with prayers. Keep calm.
Number 2 there must be a reason why God is not yet answering your prayers. May be you are the answer to your prayer. (What have you done concretely to help them aside from the spiritual aspect?) Do what you can concretely do to help them.
Number 3 Do not think of them as burdens. They are your family. Share the cross with them. (Change your attitude towards the situation. There must be something good in it)
Number 4 Keep in touch with your spiritual director/parish priest/counselor if this is really heavily burdening you
Number 5 Ask for prayers from your community. I’ll pray for you as well and do not cease praying.

To answer your question: I recommend St. Padre Pio, St Therese of the Child Jesus and the Blessed Virgin Mary–cry and beg to them…especially our Mother she listens a lot and is very soft hearted:) Do not recite Novenas, speak to them with all your heart and with all your desires and distressed. The Lord be with you!
 
janiruchan said:
Number 1 you are not God. You are not always in control of the situation.I understand you want this to be solved instantly with prayers. Keep calm.
Number 2 there must be a reason why God is not yet answering your prayers. May be you are the answer to your prayer. (What have you done concretely to help them aside from the spiritual aspect?) Do what you can concretely do to help them.
Number 3 Do not think of them as burdens. They are your family. Share the cross with them. (Change your attitude towards the situation. There must be something good in it)
Number 4 Keep in touch with your spiritual director/parish priest/counselor if this is really heavily burdening you
Number 5 Ask for prayers from your community. I’ll pray for you as well and do not cease praying.

To answer your question: I recommend St. Padre Pio, St Therese of the Child Jesus and the Blessed Virgin Mary–cry and beg to them…especially our Mother she listens a lot and is very soft hearted:) Do not recite Novenas, speak to them with all your heart and with all your desires and distressed. The Lord be with you!
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I second number 3 and the rest. Number 5. I’d second but be very careful not to spread personal and sensitive information of family subjects outside family and religious circles. “Please pray for my…etc…”, just this, because they might ask you why when it is not their business!
 
Our lady of la salette, for the wife
Mum spoke about things the wife does there.

Holy face of Jesus
For reparation for blasphemy

St. Joseph, head of holy family
So that husband may preserve in grace

St. Maria goretti, for children
She converted her murderer, was a good girl herself

I also think wife must see a psychologist cum counsellor.
:cool:
 
It is not the children that are pulling me into this, rather the parents are. I appreciate all the advise you have given me, and will pray hard.
 
Pray the Rosary. Pray to the Holy Family. And pray a novena to St. Rita, Patron of the Impossible. God bless you.
 
Your friends need salvation,and there is only one person who can give it . If you are brave enough and believe enough you can throw them a life line. You can make a sincere effort to evangelize them. They may outright reject you, maybe even be angry with you for suggesting to them to turn to Jesus Christ for help, better than any Saint. He makes them. Cast your bread on the water and see where it may go. Jesus came to save them from the devil and from themselves. Also the children. If they come to you for help, that is a good thing. If they come to you to vent, you can make something good of it. If they respond it can be taken further, if they don’t, be at peace as much as possible and pray for them. The devil is active in their lives no doubt.
 
Hopefully, this comment will be helpful even if you have realized a miracle already. I’ve collected prayers that I like for many years, mostly because my sister died when we were both young, despite what I am sure must have been thousands of prayers for her.
By the way, I copied for my collection your prayer in the Family in health crisis thread. I thought it was wonderful, and then noticed that Pollylodges used the same prayer a few posts later, leaving me wondering if you had both found the prayer somewhere, or if perhaps you had written it? In any event, many thanks for sharing it.
Back to my story, I used to travel with my father in the days before Red Cross, when we visited churches around our state and Dad would ask the pastors (we were protestant) to ask their congregations for both prayers and for donations of blood for my sister.
As a family, obviously, we faced the question why she suffered and died, despite prayer, and of course I faced it again when my brother died, and then Dad, and recently, Mom.
My advice is that your first prayer, after Our Father, is for the Grace, Hope, and Faith for you to understand and Trust that God’s Will is truly for our Beatitude, even when so often it doesn’t seem that way to our human eyes and minds. And next is a prayer that you can assist your family and neighbors find that same understanding and Trust.
Here is St Benedict of Nursia’s prayer, modified slightly:
Gracious and Holy Father, Please give us Intellect to understand You,
Reason to discern You, Diligence to seek You, Wisdom to find You,
a Spirit to know You, a heart to meditate upon You, ears to hear You,
eyes to see You, a tongue to proclaim You, a Way of life pleasing to You,
Patience to wait for You, and Perseverance to look for You.
Grant me Your Holy Presence, a blessed Resurrection, and Life Everlasting.

God seldom takes away every problem, and probably He won’t for the family you describe.
But He promised to give us strength to bear our problems, and to assist our neighbors.
 
It sounds like the husband in this situation does not have the courage or self-confidence to get out of this abusive marriage. Sometimes a separation and divorce are the only answer, when one of the couple is destructively psychologically disturbed and not getting better. The Church does not have an objection to married couples separating for grave reasons; the main problem would be getting an annulment before remarrying. Some of the other posters may think badly of me for suggesting this, but if my wife behaved this way with no chance of a solution, I’d be outta here like a rocket. The husband’s motive of staying for the children is noble, but it sounds like the situation is hopeless. If he does leave, the kids will eventually recognize his good reasons. I too, will pray about this.
 
eschator83 said:
Hopefully, this comment will be helpful even if you have realized a miracle already. I’ve collected prayers that I like for many years, mostly because my sister died when we were both young, despite what I am sure must have been thousands of prayers for her.
By the way, I copied for my collection your prayer in the Family in health crisis thread. I thought it was wonderful, and then noticed that Pollylodges used the same prayer a few posts later, leaving me wondering if you had both found the prayer somewhere, or if perhaps you had written it? In any event, many thanks for sharing it.
Back to my story, I used to travel with my father in the days before Red Cross, when we visited churches around our state and Dad would ask the pastors (we were protestant) to ask their congregations for both prayers and for donations of blood for my sister.
As a family, obviously, we faced the question why she suffered and died, despite prayer, and of course I faced it again when my brother died, and then Dad, and recently, Mom.
My advice is that your first prayer, after Our Father, is for the Grace, Hope, and Faith for you to understand and Trust that God’s Will is truly for our Beatitude, even when so often it doesn’t seem that way to our human eyes and minds. And next is a prayer that you can assist your family and neighbors find that same understanding and Trust.
Here is St Benedict of Nursia’s prayer, modified slightly:
Gracious and Holy Father, Please give us Intellect to understand You,
Reason to discern You, Diligence to seek You, Wisdom to find You,
a Spirit to know You, a heart to meditate upon You, ears to hear You,
eyes to see You, a tongue to proclaim You, a Way of life pleasing to You,
Patience to wait for You, and Perseverance to look for You.
Grant me Your Holy Presence, a blessed Resurrection, and Life Everlasting.

God seldom takes away every problem, and probably He won’t for the family you describe.
But He promised to give us strength to bear our problems, and to assist our neighbors.
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Thank you
Rob_in_Oregon said:
It sounds like the husband in this situation does not have the courage or self-confidence to get out of this abusive marriage. Sometimes a separation and divorce are the only answer, when one of the couple is destructively psychologically disturbed and not getting better. The Church does not have an objection to married couples separating for grave reasons; the main problem would be getting an annulment before remarrying. Some of the other posters may think badly of me for suggesting this, but if my wife behaved this way with no chance of a solution, I’d be outta here like a rocket. The husband’s motive of staying for the children is noble, but it sounds like the situation is hopeless. If he does leave, the kids will eventually recognize his good reasons. I too, will pray about this.
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Thank you for your (name removed by moderator)ut and much needed prayers…
No one should think badly of you for posting this, as a Catholic priest more or less said the same thing which I relayed to the husband.
 
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