Important question concerning my family

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twohearts said:
I might be allowed to go with friends. But these are adult friends(I seem to get along with adults better) who possibly have things to do. But even if I could spend time with them, I never seem to be able to get my schoolwork done on time…so perhaps not.
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twohearts how old are you?
You dont know if you can go out with friends???..well ask your parents…then you will know!
How much older are your friends than you?
Get your homework done and then you can have a life outside of your home…
May I suggest therapy for your whole family.
 
Humm…I think I’m homeschooled because my Mom likes it and she wants to protect me. My Mom loves me, I know that. I just can’t see it in her sometimes(not that I don’t want to).
 
twohearts said:
Humm…I think I’m homeschooled because my Mom likes it and she wants to protect me. My Mom loves me, I know that. I just can’t see it in her sometimes(not that I don’t want to).
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Well us moms do like to protect our kids:) …but I am glad that you realize that she does love you…and she only wants what is best for you…
Do you think it is possible to speak with her calmly and without insulting her?
 
twohearts said:
Humm…I think I’m homeschooled because my Mom likes it and she wants to protect me. My Mom loves me, I know that. I just can’t see it in her sometimes(not that I don’t want to).
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I am glad you recognize that your Mom DOES love you. Maybe you can’t see it in her because she is busy & you’d like more attention? Does she sit down with you when you do your school work? Do you ever go over it together? I’m sure you did that when you were younger… maybe if you are working by yourself more now, you miss that time you used to spend together??

I have a daughter that reminds me of you a little. She’s very sensitive (like you seem to be) and I could spend ALL DAY with her… but in the end, it just isn’t enough. She just really needs alot of love. Are you like that? Anyhow, sometimes I forget that about her… maybe your Mom doesn’t realize that you need more attention? You’ve said a couple of times that your family just doesn’t “love.” Maybe they do… but they don’t show it in the ways you’d like them to.

So here’s what you need to do: Tell them!!! Either talk to them face to face OR write it in a letter. Sometimes my kids leave a letter for me on my pillow. Could you do that with your Mom?

You mentioned that you were in therapy before? Did you find that it helped you? Maybe you could talk to your Mom about it and ask to go to therapy again. Tell her how unhappy you are. Or, you could let her read this. Do you think that would work?
 
I don’t mind so much the not spending time with Mom, it is that she sometimes to get so angry, or that she yells or seems to sin deliberately. Perhaps she doesn’t know it is so wrong. I’ve talked with her about it, but I keep seeing sins, even about the things we’ve talked about. How would you adjust?
 
twohearts said:
I don’t mind so much the not spending time with Mom, it is that she sometimes to get so angry, or that she yells or seems to sin deliberately. Perhaps she doesn’t know it is so wrong. I’ve talked with her about it, but I keep seeing sins, even about the things we’ve talked about. How would you adjust?
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It depends on what the sin is. We all sin–often repeatedly. As we get older, we realize that we can’t change other people, no matter how hard we try.

If her sin involves physical or other abuse, you need to tell someone. If her sin involves addiction to drugs or drink, you need to get in contact with a good Alanon group (or something similar) to get support for you.

At any rate, you can pray for her and offer up your own inconveniences for her.
 
Island_Oak said:
This is beginning to sound a little unhealthy.
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I agree - and I wonder how appropriate it is to continue to give this person advice. The common concensus is to seek professional help. I suggest we leave it at that. This IS the Internet, after all, and not exactly the best place to be seeking advice on a disfunctional family situation. Just my two pennies. :twocents:

~Liza
 
twohearts, sounds like you need a doctor AND a counsellor to talk to your family as quick as possible.

Certainly no-one should have to live in an environment that puts their physical health at risk. Or that leads to them being abusive to others, or where others are abusive to them.

I’m sure you’ll get some good advice here, but it’s the sort of problem that is very difficult to solve over the internet. For one thing there are multiple sides to every story, and they all need to be heard!

You’re in my prayers.
 
Maybe I need to get a counselor, but I can’t do that now. I also don’t know if now is the best time to tell my mom or dad anything. So, the question remains: what do I do right now?

Oh, and it might be important to note that the “feet pee” only happened once where it wasn’t cleaned up(I really don’t know where all of it is), but it may happen again if nothing is done about it.
 
twohearts said:
Maybe I need to get a counselor, but I can’t do that now.
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WHY?
I also don’t know if now is the best time to tell my mom or dad anything. So, the question remains: what do I do right now?
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tell them that you need a counselor/therapist…very simple.
Oh, and it might be important to note that the “feet pee” only happened once where it wasn’t cleaned up(I really don’t know where all of it is), but it may happen again if nothing is done about it.
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Who is peeing on their feet? Is it done on purpose or as a result of old age or an infant/young child not potty trained yet?
 
Twohearts,
All of us feel badly for you because you are obviously unhappy about your family’s situation. Unfortunatly we can’t offer you any more help than we already suggested:
  1. Tell your parents how you feel.
  2. Tell a trusted family member or your Priest. Ask them to help you tell your parents.
  3. Think less about other people’s sin… that is between them & God and it’s not right to judge. Be a good Christian example & pray for them.
  4. Offer to help your Mom clean up.
Other than those things, it’s difficult to tell you what you should do. This site is great for getting advice about things… but it sounds as if your problems with your family & your own issues have been going on for awhile now … and since we aren’t familar with the circumstances of your life - it’s probably better to seek advice from someone who knows you & your family & can actually help you… like someone at your parish. You could call the parish office and ask to speak with your Priest - or a youth counselor? But honestly, I really would reccomend you talking to your parents - either in a letter or in person.

Best of luck to you, honey. I will pray for you.
 
twohearts said:
Maybe I need to get a counselor, but I can’t do that now. I also don’t know if now is the best time to tell my mom or dad anything. So, the question remains: what do I do right now?

What you can do right now is go give your mom, then your dad a big hug and a kiss on the cheek. Then say “I love you both”. May not help anything but sure couldn’t hurt and I don’t know a Mom or Dad who wouldn’t be thrilled. Could just open up the lines of communication. Come back and tell us what happened when you do this.
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twohearts…is your mom doing better? On another thread you stated she was very sick (THREAD) could this be part of the issues you are having at home?
 
My Mom is not doing so well right now. She has awful headaches and I don’t know what is causing them. She’s been to the doctor but little help so far…
 
Indy–

Interesting thought. The problem is, I can’t say “I love you” since I don’t know if I still feel love for some of them anymore. Does it matter? I love them as God’s children but it might be misleading to say, “I love you.” Oh, I don’t know…
 
lizaanne said:
I agree - and I wonder how appropriate it is to continue to give this person advice. The common concensus is to seek professional help. I suggest we leave it at that. This IS the Internet, after all, and not exactly the best place to be seeking advice on a disfunctional family situation. Just my two pennies. :twocents:

~Liza
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I agree… get professional help… where ever you can. I will pray for you, but that is all i have left to offer you… hope it is enough!
 
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