Haven’t you ever hear of women getting pregnant through heavy petting? If a man cannot ejaculate then he is sterile. The Church has different rules concerning being sterile. Being sterile is not an impediment to marriage.
I am pretty sure a man that cannot have an erection can ejaculate. Maybe I am being really stupid here, and actually believing all the trash I learned about sex, but I thought you can get pregnant when sperm is on or around a woman’s vagina. I am sorry if I am being too clinical here. I think it was the natural family planning folks that told me you can get pregnant without penetration.
I applaud the Church for having rules. I really believe rules are very necessary. Much of the wrong in society today is from people breaking the rules.
To be perfectly legalistic about it, all the rules the Church has are guidelines to help us live a good life. If is possible to kill, or murder if you prefer that term, without committing a sin. We are not rejecting the Church by questioning a rule, or even by not following it.
To me, the picture of a couple with children that can no longer have sex avoiding anything that might cause them to want to be intimate is sinful. As I see it, a married couple always has the right to each other’s bodies. As long as the use of the spouses body is acceptable to the spouse, unitive or procreative, I believe that there is plenty of Church teachings that say it is permissible, even mandated.
As I am older, I have experienced times when ejaculation didn’t happen. Wasn’t anything I did to cause it, it just didn’t. Now, since the activities and intent was to ejaculate there is no sin, obviously. I think this is a general truth, if two married people decide to have sex and cannot “finish”, it is not sinful as long as they do everything reasonable to have a normal sexual experience.
As far as seeing a doctor to find out some medical fact, I do not believe the Church requires you to seek out the advice of a doctor to determine if you sin or not.
Remember, to sin there must be intent.