Impotence

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Nickelous

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Must an elderly Catholic couple ,having married in the Catholic church many years ago,refrain from sexual activity with each other now that the husband is impotent?The marital act being no longer possible to be realised.
 
Not really sure your question. Women go through menopause and are no longer able to conceive, but that doesn’t mean they can no longer make love with their spouses…is that not the same situation?
 
Simon
Thanks for your reply.However ,the church holds that the ability to effect the marital act in marriage is of primary importance .Infertility of itself however caused does not prevent the couples from this possibility.Nonetheless a couple having been married for many years ,and having had a fruitful marriage with offspring,may now because of the husband’s having become impotent be unable to realise the marital embrace.The only acts available to them would while otherwise would have been considered sexual foreplay would now be prohibited if they were not followed by intercourse.Intercourse cannot be accomplished by a male who is impotent.Must the couple then no longer engage in any sexual activity?
Regards
Nickelous
 
I’m not an expert here so someone please correct me if I am wrong…

I would imagine that as long as the intent of the married couple is not to deliberately alter the sexual act and if they would intend to complete any sexual act in a properly ordered function if biology would cooperate, I don’t think there would be a problem with a married couple sharing sexual intimacy even if the man has problems with impotence.
 
I’m not an expert here so someone please correct me if I am wrong…

I would imagine that as long as the intent of the married couple is not to deliberately alter the sexual act and if they would intend to complete any sexual act in a properly ordered function if biology would cooperate, I don’t think there would be a problem with a married couple sharing sexual intimacy even if the man has problems with impotence.
I’d agree with the above. Seeing as how you would not be stopping after “foreplay” just to avoid getting pregnant, I don’t think there is any problem with it.

Also, there are medications available to help with impotence problems, making intercourse possible. I don’t think the Church has any problems with the use of these medications.
 
Kaws/Albert15
I personally agree with both of you .That is the way it seems to me that it should be.However when I read comments by people such as Germaine Grisez,Ronald l.Conte ,Christopher West etc.they argue the contrary.I came to the same conclusion that you both did.As strange as it might seem it appeared to me that if baptism could be realised by desire.then it would be enough that someone fully intending to comply with Church teaching but couldn’t for no reason of there own would then be in a position of having complied with Church requirements in their will if not physically.
God Bless
Nickelous
 
. . . However when I read comments by people such as Germaine Grisez,Ronald l.Conte ,Christopher West etc.they argue the contrary. . .
Nickelous, can you link us to any of these comments? We might like to review them, as well.
 
Nickelous, can you link us to any of these comments? We might like to review them, as well.
Yes, please link what you can. At least the names of the works they came from. I’ve never heard of the people you mentioned (except for West). I plan to begin reading and studying Catholic sexual ethics once I find the time and I have been collecting the works of JPII, West, and others who write on this topic in the meantime. Info on any other good materials you have would be appreciated.
 
I’d agree with the above. Seeing as how you would not be stopping after “foreplay” just to avoid getting pregnant, I don’t think there is any problem with it.

Also, there are medications available to help with impotence problems, making intercourse possible. I don’t think the Church has any problems with the use of these medications.
The Church has nothing against the use of viagara but that’s not what the thread is about. Unless I have misunderstood then its about permanent impotence (i.e. cannot be medically treated) after a couple have been married.
Assuming that is correct then the couple cannot engage in sex acts because it can never end with the man climaxing inside his wife. You cannot argue that he intends to but is unable to. That just does not cut it. Sexual activity between husband and wife MUST ALWAYS end with the husband completing the marital act inside his wife.
This is why permanent impotence, if known prior to marriage, means a couple can never get married in a Catholic church because the marital act can never take place.
If during the marriage the husband becomes permanently and untreatably impotent then the couple must abstain.
 
. . .If during the marriage the husband becomes permanently and untreatably impotent then the couple must abstain.
Not that I doubt you or this statement, but might you please link us to a Catholic source verifying this?
 
Not that I doubt you or this statement, but might you please link us to a Catholic source verifying this?
I don’t think you are going to find an online source. You are going to have to crack open some books.

Intent is the key. As long as there is some hope that intercourse may occur the couple may proceed. If there is a missing male organ well then that would be hopeless. I think the couple would know if there was hope or not.

Since marriage cannot occur when there is absolute assurance of impotency I think it’s fair to apply canon law and take the step to sexual activity within marriage if there is absolute evidence of impotency.See Canon Law.

Canon 1084.1 of the Code of Canon Law of the Catholic Church states that “antecedent and perpetual impotence to have sexual intercourse, whether on the part of the man or on that of the woman, whether absolute or relative, by its very nature invalidates marriage.”
However, Canon 1084.2 adds that “if the impediment of impotence is doubtful, whether the doubt be one of law or one of fact, the marriage is not to be prevented nor, while the doubt persists, is it to be declared null.”

Course I’m not a Canon Law expert and only play one online sometimes.
 
I don’t think you are going to find an online source. You are going to have to crack open some books.

Intent is the key. As long as there is some hope that intercourse may occur the couple may proceed. If there is a missing male organ well then that would be hopeless. I think the couple would know if there was hope or not.

Since marriage cannot occur when there is absolute assurance of impotency I think it’s fair to apply canon law and take the step to sexual activity within marriage if there is absolute evidence of impotency.See Canon Law.

Canon 1084.1 of the Code of Canon Law of the Catholic Church states that “antecedent and perpetual impotence to have sexual intercourse, whether on the part of the man or on that of the woman, whether absolute or relative, by its very nature invalidates marriage.”
However, Canon 1084.2 adds that “if the impediment of impotence is doubtful, whether the doubt be one of law or one of fact, the marriage is not to be prevented nor, while the doubt persists, is it to be declared null.”

Course I’m not a Canon Law expert and only play one online sometimes.
That’s what I’m trying to say but you have put it much more eloquently than I did.
 
Not that I doubt you or this statement, but might you please link us to a Catholic source verifying this?
CCC 2366 Fecundity is a gift, an end of marriage, for conjugal love naturally tends to be fruitful. A child does not come from outside as something added on to the mutual love of the spouses, but springs from the very heart of that mutual giving, as its fruit and fulfillment. So the Church, which is “on the side of life,” teaches that “it is necessary that each and every marriage act remain ordered per se to the procreation of human life.” “This particular doctrine, expounded on numerous occasions by the Magisterium, is based on the inseparable connection, established by God, which man on his own initiative may not break, between the unitive significance and the procreative significance which are both inherent to the marriage act.”

See bolded part. In the case of permanent untreatable impotence the couple cannot perform the completed marital act and they would know this. Consequently, any other sexual act would most likely be considered sinful and such couples would have to abstain.
 
At what point / what actions would be too much and sinful behavior between two spouses who are unable to complete the sex act?

Is deep kissing too much? Petting?

Aren’t unitive aspects important too?

I can see the argument that a couple who would never be able to consummate a marriage would not be able to enter a valid marriage…
but I thought marriage as a sacrament was for better or worse til death do us part…

If one person is in a permanent coma or becomes permanently physically incapacitated doesn’t the Church still consider them to be married? They wouldn’t be free to date without committing adultery, right?

I’m having trouble understanding this…
 
At what point / what actions would be too much and sinful behavior between two spouses who are unable to complete the sex act?

Is deep kissing too much? Petting?

Aren’t unitive aspects important too?

I can see the argument that a couple who would never be able to consummate a marriage would not be able to enter a valid marriage…
but I thought marriage as a sacrament was for better or worse til death do us part…

If one person is in a permanent coma or becomes permanently physically incapacitated doesn’t the Church still consider them to be married? They wouldn’t be free to date without committing adultery, right?

I’m having trouble understanding this…
Marital acts must be both unitive and procreative.

As for the bolded part yes they are still married and no the spouse who is healthy cannot date anyone else.
 
Marital acts must be both unitive and procreative.

As for the bolded part yes they are still married and no the spouse who is healthy cannot date anyone else.
Well okay but in the scenario presented by the OP he stated that the couple were elderly, hence I’m assuming post-menopausal. The Church does not forbid married couples from making love once they reach a certain age because procreation is no longer possible…

If the couple were deliberately trying to alter the sex act to prevent the procreative aspects… but that doesn’t seem to be the case here…

What actions of affection toward each other would be acceptable? What would be off limits? Would having thoughts about sexual intimacy with one’s own spouse become sinful?
 
Well okay but in the scenario presented by the OP he stated that the couple were elderly, hence I’m assuming post-menopausal. The Church does not forbid married couples from making love once they reach a certain age because procreation is no longer possible…

If the couple were deliberately trying to alter the sex act to prevent the procreative aspects… but that doesn’t seem to be the case here…

What actions of affection toward each other would be acceptable? What would be off limits? Would having thoughts about sexual intimacy with one’s own spouse become sinful?
Procreative means open to life and not necessarily producing children.
What would be off limits? Any sexual act which does not result in the husband completing the marital act inside his wife.
Lustful thoughts about your spouse are sinful.
 
I don’t think you are going to find an online source. You are going to have to crack open some books.
As I anticipated, I agree - time to hit the books.
Since marriage cannot occur when there is absolute assurance of impotency I think it’s fair to apply canon law and take the step to sexual activity within marriage if there is absolute evidence of impotency.
This is a fairly well known impediment to marriage - but after years of valid marriage? Seems like quite the leap…
Canon 1084.1 of the Code of Canon Law of the Catholic Church states that “antecedent and perpetual impotence to have sexual intercourse, whether on the part of the man or on that of the woman, whether absolute or relative, by its very nature invalidates marriage.”
However, Canon 1084.2 adds that “if the impediment of impotence is doubtful, whether the doubt be one of law or one of fact, the marriage is not to be prevented nor, while the doubt persists, is it to be declared null.”
Again, I would not be so quick to apply these to the postnuptial (is this a word?) marriage.

I will take note to hit the books on this one some time in the near future - we’re snowed in today, which doesn’t happen too often in the Pacific Northwest.
CCC 2366 . . .So the Church, which is “on the side of life,” teaches that "it is necessary that each and every marriage act remain ordered per se to the procreation of human life."
Yes, I agree with this. But it seems to not apply here - we are talking about something less than the “marriage act” in the case of an impotent husband.
. . .Consequently, any other sexual act would ***most likely be considered sinful ***and such couples would have to abstain.
Ah. Therein lies my only problem: how can we turn that “most likely be” to “most definitively be”, and that “considered sinful” to "objectively “sinful”? The answers are out there, we just need to dig them up.

Until we do, peace all.
 
As someone else brought up, post-menopausal women and couples who are naturally infertile for whatever other reason (i.e. not because of ABC, vasectomy etc) are still allowed and encouraged by the Church to have sexual relations with each other. Just because a couple cannot have children does not negate the procreative aspect of the marital act and make it sinful. I would not say that for the OP to have any sexual contact with his wife it would be inherently sinful.

OP - I’d highly suggest trying to find a holy and wise priest to discuss this with.

Remember, one paragraph of theology or cannon law doesn’t convey the entire intent of the Church. I’m not saying we can therefore ignore anything we want, but we can never forget the need for pastoral care in each individual case.
 
It’s simple, you may hug, caress, kiss but no mutual masturbation.
 
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