Improper Attire at Mass?

[JRKH]

Yes, this is just the problem. Unless you know the people in question, how can anyone presume to take the right approach to the situation? When we are told not to judge, that is a major part of the reason; we often don’t have the tools to do it appropriately. In a situation like this, what is there to be lost by letting it go? If the person comes back, and keeps coming, it’s actually quite likely that his or her dress will begin to change even if no one makes any comment, maybe even without the individual realizing it. And if not, then someone who actually has a good rapport with the person can talk to him about it.

Dear Bluegoat, I wish your sentiment (bolded above) were actually true, but based on what I have seen around here from people who attend Church regularly, such may not be the case.

Fraternal corrections are always supposed to be “in love”. But the person being corrected has to actually see it that way to. If they don’t know the person, how are they supposed to perceive that it is “in love”? Just because the person says so? That is not always a very accurate indicator.

If we want to insist people immediately understand the cultural norms of the group, and the principles involved in modesty and choice of clothes in general, than perhaps we should also insist that they understand and practice all the other principles and norms of Christians before they enter the church door. How many of us could step through at that point I wonder?

I think that in much of this discussion one very important point is being overlooked. That is the responsibility of the person bringing such a person to Church for the first time.
If the person in question is indeed coming for the first time, or the first in a very long time, they are most likely being accompanied by the person who encouraged them to come. i.e. the girls sister, or the aunt of the troubled teenager. It really should be up to these people to make sure that they talk about what is acceptable and what is not.
To me there is no reason why the aunt should not have prevented the boy from wearing the hat into church. If she had done so, even if it took a couple more weeks of convincing, she would not have been faced with someone “undoing” all her hard work. And there is no reason why the girl should not have saved her sister from the embarrassment of being confronted by the Loving “fraternal correction” of insisting she wear properly modest clothing.

Yes there are many instances where nothing should be said, and all such situations should always be handled with Love and tact. But we should also be able to expect a modicam of “Love” and respect on the part of the dresser, to not insult, or distract, or tempt to sin, any other person attending the mass.

Just my 2c

Peace
James

 

[CradleCath]

This is not a “TLM” issue.

I have worn shorts to TLMs

 

[Bluegoat]

I think that in much of this discussion one very important point is being overlooked. That is the responsibility of the person bringing such a person to Church for the first time.
If the person in question is indeed coming for the first time, or the first in a very long time, they are most likely being accompanied by the person who encouraged them to come. i.e. the girls sister, or the aunt of the troubled teenager. It really should be up to these people to make sure that they talk about what is acceptable and what is not.
To me there is no reason why the aunt should not have prevented the boy from wearing the hat into church. If she had done so, even if it took a couple more weeks of convincing, she would not have been faced with someone “undoing” all her hard work. And there is no reason why the girl should not have saved her sister from the embarrassment of being confronted by the Loving “fraternal correction” of insisting she wear properly modest clothing.

Yes there are many instances where nothing should be said, and all such situations should always be handled with Love and tact. But we should also be able to expect a modicam of “Love” and respect on the part of the dresser, to not insult, or distract, or tempt to sin, any other person attending the mass.

Just my 2c

Peace
James

Well, not everyone arrives as a guest as someone else the first time they come to church.

But I am honestly shocked that you think it would be better to wait a few weeks to convince the person to take off his hat than have him come to church this week. I mean, I think we do have a requirement to understand dress in a certain way as Christians, but we have a lot of other requirements too. When a person first comes into a Church, I don’t expect him to be a Christian.

Really, if a visitor or new member has dressed in a way that is tempting me to sin, I’ll suck it up and pay whatever penance I need to. It’s not like I don’t see that sort of thing through the rest of my week, in less hopeful circumstances.

 

[sarahraegraham]

How sad…both for you & for God whom you were visiting.