Impure thoughts question

[Scrupulous_Matt]

Just this weekend I had an impure thought. I think I may have been dwelling on it but I’m not sure. The thought popped into my head and I just kept on thinking it, but I now I don’t remember if I was aiming for being aroused or not. And also, it lasted for about 30 -45 sec and after it went away I thought it was only venial and so the next day I went to communion. Did I commit a mortal sin?

EDIT: I had the thought, but then I purposely KEPT thinking it. Until then I realised what I had done and shooed it away.

 

[Bookcat]

I will post my post from the past to another poster…I imagine there will be helpful info there. (it is not so much a question of time…but of consent etc…)

Regarding thoughts

while Jesus makes it clear that one can sin in ones thoughts…just cause some lustful thought happens does not mean that one sinned…

(and one can have a sufficiently good reason to think about sexual matters…for instance studying moral theology…but care must be taken to avoid things that would be a problem…but that is another question)

What should we do with* unwanted* sexual thoughts or other bad thoughts…thoughts against God etc? Those pesky temptations that can come …even though we are not seeking them etc…

(there are of course some things we should avoid that cause them…and there can be sin if it is something one should reasonably avoid…but often they come uninvited)

First…Relax. Do not worry.

Now are they mortal sins?

For a mortal sin one needs a grave matter …full knowledge AND deliberate consent!!!

A. If you do not want the thought…it the thought displeases you: it can be a sign actually that you did not give consent or do not give full consent.

B. Even if you felt a temptation for the thought – and were drawn to it —but rejected it and maybe even turned to God : again a sign not full consent.

C. But what if one has a tempting thought --say of a sexual nature and even hesitated for a moment…but then rejected it for one did not want to sin? : it can be partial consent perhaps (and thus a venial sin)-- or it may be no sin at all but rather a strong temptation that drew you but then you saw what was happening and turned away.

D. A temptation can even be very strong or the thoughts very often – but this does NOT mean one has consented! so worry not…even it they go on for a long time…

remember --for it to be mortal there must be that deliberate consent!

What to do? on the spiritual side–relax first of all and remember the above.

Next – know that the more one fears the thoughts the more likely they are to come… or said another way --the more a person seeks to avoid the thoughts the more likely he will have a problem with them. (but do not worry about this either!)

for example: for the next 10 seconds try NOT to think of an apple.

tick tock …

tick tock…

Ok what did you think of? Most likely an apple.

So it is best to ignore them and just not consent and then turn your attention to some other good thing…for instance whatever you are doing. Simply do not consent and move on. and do not worry

another point – thoughts can just happen --they are the stuff with which we think…it is up to us to consent and take them further or not. and just because they are REAL VIVID and almost “think themselves” does not mean per se that one has given ANY consent.

they can be annoying…but need cause no actual harm …

---

Another help…is the distinction between “first thoughts and emotions” (as Baur calls em) what they call the prima of the prima…“the first of the first” (as one of my Professors called em…he was a Dominican)…these are involuntary things that just come up…such are not sins. They can tempt one of course to sin…or one can then proceed to some sin…but they are the stuff of the mind and emotions which “happen to one” …and really the are opportunities for growing in virtue etc as well…

How to deal with these? First of relax…don’t scruple…don’t fear them…to try to swat them all as the come…just simply turn to other things…or the thing you are doing…or to God…(of course do not consent)…but if you are too defensive against them…they may get worse actually…and confuse you more…instead turn to God or again other good things…accept that hey…somethings wild thoughts will come to you…

(and these can happen to all of us by the way…)

There is a story from the desert of the early Centuries of the Church where a younger hermit when to an older one with the problems of thoughts happening to him all the time…the older hermit told him to go outside open his cloak and catch the wind.

The younger hermit said such is not possible…

the older hermit replied --neither is it possible to stop all the thoughts that can come to you…your choice is to say “yes” or “no”.

So relax about “unwanted thoughts”…sometimes they just come…you know like unwanted phone calls from politicitians and salepersons etc…but you can always say “no thank you” or just ignore the call and go about your business

 

[Jim_Roberts]

NO! You did not commit a MORTAL SIN.

First, let me assure you, that God has no intention of keeping you from Heaven. In addition, you are NOT displeasing to God in any way, shape, or form. What you are suffering fromk is OCD and the many complications of this disease. In your particular case it is centered on impure thoughts. Frankly there is no difference, when OCD is involved, what the particular object or experience of obsession is, however, in your cas because sexual in nature, it is all the more distressing.

You need to remind yourself that sexual thoughts and feelings ARE NOT SINFUL!!!
You may intensely feel them, they may even bother yoou, they may be all sorts of things, but they are NOT SINFUL. Secondly, you have to remind you that compulsion is not freedom and is therefore not serious sin, Again, you may feel bad, you may be uncomfortable with the thought itself, you may feel many t hings, BUT IT IS NOT SERIOUSLY SINFUL

Trust the advice of your confessor.

God love you. If I can help you in any other way, please send a PRIVATE MESSAGE

 

[Bookcat]

What you are suffering fromk is OCD and the many complications of this disease.

Scrupulosity does not = OCD per se.

( I say scrupulosity due to the self given name here)

No one can tell him he has OCD…that is for a doctor …et al.

But your advise of getting regular confessor is very important.