Impurity and scrupulosity

[timeandeternity]

I’ll preface this by saying that I have *mild *scrupulosity–it is certainly not to the extent that it is impossible for me to commit a mortal sin because I’m so afraid of doing so.
I am legitimately concerned about something right now. Often I will see girls on my campus who are dressed quite immodestly, and I will often deliberately look at them. I am female, so this is not a temptation to lust or even to impure thoughts; it’s more out of a kind of curiosity. For example, I’ll see a girl wearing tights with short shorts, and my eyes will be drawn to her legs and backside, and I won’t make much (if any) attempt to look away–but I don’t feel tempted to impurity.
I realize that it is bad to look at girls in this way–even if you are also a girl–but I don’t know if this is a mortal sin. Please help me figure this one out! Thanks!

 

[AlanFromWichita]

In order for it to be a mortal sin, it has to be grave matter, and be done with full knowledge and consent.

I don’t know how it would be applied in some court of law, but from what you’re saying it doesn’t sound like any big deal. I look at a cute poodle or schnauzer being walked on the street without guilt or feeling like I have to look away, and I have no guilt about enjoying a beautiful flower garden. Same thing for an attractive woman, and I’m a male. I finally quit thinking I had to turn my head just because one walks in front of me. I don’t gawk or stare, but if I notice an attractive woman, then I figure it’s because God created her that way and I’m designed to notice it. It kind of helps that at my age it really doesn’t arouse me like it sometimes used to when in my early 20’s, but back then I wasn’t all that concerned if I was being sinful – so take my advice FWIW.

Maybe not a very “religious” argument, but I’ll throw that out for starters.

Alan

 

[timeandeternity]

Alan, I’m not talking about admiring a girl’s beauty. Actually, it is often a temptation for me to look at a beautiful girl because I have mild SSA. However, SSA only happens for me when I notice a girl’s face, because the attraction is not sexual. As far as I can remember, I’ve actually never been tempted by seeing a girl dressed immodestly. However, like I said, I’ll often stare at such a girl out of some kind of curiosity.
I would like to know whether *this *is mortal or not.

 

[AlanFromWichita]

Alan, I’m not talking about admiring a girl’s beauty. Actually, it is often a temptation for me to look at a beautiful girl because I have mild SSA. However, SSA only happens for me when I notice a girl’s face, because the attraction is not sexual. As far as I can remember, I’ve actually never been tempted by seeing a girl dressed immodestly. However, like I said, I’ll often stare at such a girl out of some kind of curiosity.
I would like to know whether *this *is mortal or not.

Oh, OK. I actually don’t know anything about SSA. As far as curiosity, as in the way they are dressed or what physical shape they are in, maybe? That sounds very normal to me, as my wife who does not have SSA occasionally makes comments on those sorts of things … how women are dressed, that they lost weight, that they walk with dignity/awkwardly in certain shoes, etc.

I’m not sure what else I can offer if I’m still not understanding you right, but I do stick by the idea that if you honestly don’t know if a sin is mortal, then it very likely is not. Mortal sin takes not only grave matter, but full knowledge and consent and it really doesn’t sound like what you are describing meets all three of those.

Alan

 

[Oneofthewomen]

I’ll preface this by saying that I have *mild *scrupulosity–it is certainly not to the extent that it is impossible for me to commit a mortal sin because I’m so afraid of doing so.
I am legitimately concerned about something right now. Often I will see girls on my campus who are dressed quite immodestly, and I will often deliberately look at them. I am female, so this is not a temptation to lust or even to impure thoughts; it’s more out of a kind of curiosity. For example, I’ll see a girl wearing tights with short shorts, and my eyes will be drawn to her legs and backside, and I won’t make much (if any) attempt to look away–but I don’t feel tempted to impurity.
I realize that it is bad to look at girls in this way–even if you are also a girl–but I don’t know if this is a mortal sin. Please help me figure this one out! Thanks!

Alan, I’m not talking about admiring a girl’s beauty. Actually, it is often a temptation for me to look at a beautiful girl because I have mild SSA. However, SSA only happens for me when I notice a girl’s face, because the attraction is not sexual. As far as I can remember, I’ve actually never been tempted by seeing a girl dressed immodestly. However, like I said, I’ll often stare at such a girl out of some kind of curiosity.
I would like to know whether *this *is mortal or not.

IMHO, you are not in mortal sin.

To be MORTAL SIN you must have these 3 things-
it must be GRAVE MATTER, which I am not sure that this is.
You must KNOW it it grave matter
You must WILLFULLY do it anyway.

Srupulosity, even if it’s mild, can be very difficult to combat, especially when you go looking for answers from a lot of different people. Please, find a spiritual director and/or regular confessor. Then listen to their advice and obey what they tell you.

Peace be with you on your journey.

 

[Monica4316]

I think it’s best to just look away, whatever the reason for looking is. It can be an occasion of sin, if not to impurity, than to judgement or vain curiosity. One very good virtue which is difficult to acquire is control of the senses.

God bless

 

[timeandeternity]

Never mind, I think I may have found my answer from Fr. Hardon: “The eyes are the windows of the soul, and immodest looks, e.g., at pictures, scantily clothed people, etc., are dangerous and therefore are forbidden.”
I guess confession is in order…

 

[AlanFromWichita]

Never mind, I think I may have found my answer from Fr. Hardon: “The eyes are the windows of the soul, and immodest looks, e.g., at pictures, scantily clothed people, etc., are dangerous and therefore are forbidden.”
I guess confession is in order…

From what you have said, I think that’s a wise choice… when in doubt, find a confessor you trust and meet in person, in preference to advice you get over the Internet. I learn a lot here, but our local priests are there for a reason, too. I hope you get it all cleared up.

Alan