In a moral quagmire - poor unwed live-in couple

[redtetrahedron]

I have gotten myself in a moral quagmire that I can’t see the resolution for. My wife and I recently moved into a new house, and at first it was just going to be the two of us. However, a female friend of my wife (of 25 years) had gotten kicked out of her apartment by her roommate, and she needed a place to stay, since she is disabled and on fixed income. So I agreed to let her stay in the new house with us for a while. The next thing I know my wife says that her friend’s boyfriend is coming in from out of town and needs a place to stay also and I found myself agreeing to it! (I think I fell into the “misplaced compassion” trap). Now we have an unwed couple living with us, and I regret it now. My wife doesn’t see that we’re responsible for them sleeping together, saying that they’re adults and they’re going to do what they want anyway. She just wants to help them until the guy can get a good job and they can get on their feet and move out into their own place. I have already tried discussing this with my wife, and she says that she is not going to kick them out on the street, saying “if they go, I go”. I don’t want to kick them out either, without a place to go, but I also recognize the immorality of them sleeping together under our roof.
To make things worse, their presence is putting a huge strain on our marriage, as my wife wants to spend most of her time with them now, and has not been to Mass in months. She stays up most of the night with her friend’s boyfriend drinking.
I have been praying constantly for the Lord to show me a way out of this. I can’t believe the only answer would be “kick them out”…

 

[MCGar]

Get your wife and yourself into marriage counseling ASAP!!!

It looks like your wife isn’t going to see your point of view or even try to, unless maybe an outside person tells her that she is harming the marriage by putting undue stress on it.

If I were you I would stay up each and every night with your wife and the friends boyfriend (but don’t drink more than one beer), stick to them like glue becuase it looks like your wife is basking in this sort of attention.

Sacrifice some of your sleeping time and stay on top of this because it does NOT look good and it doesn’t look like it’s going to resolve itself unless this couple moves out.

Prayers

 

[MCGar]

Plus, talk to the guy, see what his plans are. Find out if he can get two jobs and look for apartments for rent or even houses that will rent out a room or two. Work with this couple to get them out.

Get a good timetable and goal for them to get out.
And keep on top of it to make sure that they know you want them to get on their feet.

 

[OutinChgoburbs]

You and your wife need to hash this one out. You need to make it clear to her that these people living there is ruining your marriage and your house. If she will, then you could make an appointment to see your priest. Don’t care if it’s Thanksgiving. Don’t care if you have to miss work. Go, today, tonight.

The people need to go. Don’t care where they go. Suggest the homeless shelter. They are obvious moochers. Don’t think that’s the only answer as a bad thing. They are just reaping what they sow, pure and simple.

If she leaves you with no alternatives, then perhaps they need to be kicked out by your local law enforcement. Unfortunately, she may leave with them. If it comes to that, change the locks and hope for the best…